One of the most overlooked foods during the apocalypse are those who come from the water, like sea cucumbers. Taste awful pickled tho.

Most importantly, fish are a great source of energy, and chances are, you can pick one up at your local river or pond. Chances are, seas are already drench in the blood of the heathen, as the possible intergalactic inquisition has poisoned it, but in the small chance that the fishes in the sea have adapted to swimming in blood, you can pick one up from there too.

Truth is, fish can be kept in the freezer for up to 6 months! The only downside is that fishing might be the most dangerous activity an apocalyptic chef can endeavor. It requires staying perfectly still, in the open, for a great period of time. You're just begging for your spleen to be used like a drum.

Lucky for us, we can befriend the local water weirdo to help us fish and be a lookout. Your local water weirdo will must likely be near the water, being a weirdo, as water weirdos tend to be. They are most likely useless in any shape or form, save for their uncanny ability to fish and feel the energy of the water. You can buy their services with a few pickles and a 20% of the fish you fish.

So, cast your net, sit very, very still, and try not to spook your local water weirdo, and let's begin our journey through the wonderous world of fish!

FISH: HOW DO THEY WORK?

Fish, together with their derived products, are foods with an interesting nutritional profile: rich in quality proteins, abundant in omega 3 and omega 6 fatty acids, a source of minerals like phosphorus, potassium, sodium, calcium, magnesium, iron, iodine, as well as various vitamins (B1, B2, B3, B12, A, D).

Due to the nutritional characteristics of fish and seafood, experts recommend that the consumption ration be of 125-150 g, and its consumption to be at least 3 times a week. From a technical point of view, fish are defined as cold-blooded animals cold that live in an aquatic environment and that, among other characteristics, are not afraid to pop a cap in a snitch's ass. They are that cold-blooded.

In the broadest of senses, fishes are classified in three distinct types:

- White Fish, which has a fat content of 2%. These are creamier and more customizable than the other, as their neutral flavor allows you use whatever spices and liquids you want to enhance its flavor.

- Semi-Fatty Fish, with a fat content of 2% to 5%. These are usually served at restaurants for their unique taste and tough composition.

- Blue Fish, with has a fat content between 6% to 15%. These are the most delicate of the bunch, and served in haute cuisine restaurants. They need to be used carefully, as they are flaky and easy to burn.

SO FRESH, SO FINE

Sometimes, we can't get a fresh fish from the water, and we have to buy it from certain fish villages that have most likely sprung up to keep a monopoly on fishing. You can brun them like the bastards they are, or, just buy some fish from them. But how do we know they are selling us a good, fresh fish?

The freshness of the fish is determined by observing the general appearance and certain parts of the animal's body, as well as by the smell.

The freshness must be analyzed with common sense, since the lack of only one of the characteristics of freshness, or the presence of one of the alterations, does not mean necessarily that the fish is in bad condition, only that the fish people are trying to bamboozle you.

Many fish can be eaten raw, provided they are almost immediately caught or otherwise preserved fresh by refrigeration. Raw fish is the basis of sushi; in such cases, what is consumed is only the muscle mass of the fish carefully separated from the other parts and washed.

Still, the indisputable thing is that the best way to consume fish is when you cook the thing, as fresh as possible. In general, the following are the characteristics that demonstrate that a fish is in good condition:

- Despite what is commonly believed, fresh fish has little stank and, therefore, no unpleasant odor. The ammonia smell is indicative that it is already in decomposition and should not be consumed. It should smell like water, or sea, or swamp.

- The skin of fresh fish should have firm scales, meaning, they shouldn't flake easily.

- The skin of the fish should be naturally shiny.

- The eyes of the fish must not be blurred or opaque.

- The meat of fresh fish is always firm when applying pressure.

- The gills or gills of fresh fish are reddish.

Hey, is you line sinking? I think you caught a fish!

Well...you have to gut it.

HOW TO GUT A FISH

Gutting a fish is a messy, awkward affair. Prepare to get guts everywhere. I would recomend doing it over some old newspapers, but newspapers died even before the apocalypse, so just do it somewhere you don't mind getting fish gizzards on. A kitchen towel or something works just fine.

You're gonna need a boning knife, and a spoon/butter knife to descale the fish.

Grab the butter knife or spoon and scrape off the scales in short movements in the direction from the tail towards the gills. Be careful when moving round fins, as depending on the fish, these can give you a small cut if you catch them on your skin. Be sure to remove all the scales from the fish, including around the throat, gills and fins.

Position the fish under running water for a good rinse. It’s also a good idea at this stage to dispose of the newspaper that you had the fish on during the scaling process, as the scales tend to go everywhere! If you place the fish on the same paper again after rinsing, the scales will also stick to the fish.

Grab your fish and invert it so that it lies belly up. Locate the fish anus and insert your knife drawing it straight up to the base of gills. It's the only butthole-shaped hole under there, so you can't miss it.

Spread the fish belly open and ease out the entrails. Hint: If you put your fingers just under the gills you should be able to locate pieces of flesh attaching the entails – if you cannot pull this out, simply give this a cut with your knife and the entails should then be easily removed.

Dispose of the fish entrails and give your fish another rinse.  Take your spoon or butter knife and remove the black vein running along the spine of the fish. Give the fish another rinse, outside and in, and head back to your table.

And done! You got yourself a gutted fish. Alternately, you can pay your water weirdo to do it.

NEAT! NOW, WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS?

Well, you can use that fish whole to make a number of preparations, remove the head and tail to use in stocks and soups, or, as most popular, you can filet it to use the tastiest parts. It is super easy to filet a fish.

1. Rinse the fish under running water and pat dry. Position it on a cutting board with its back towards you. Using a sharp knife held behind the gills and side fin, cut straight down halfway through the fish to the backbone, being sure to include the meaty spot right behind the top of the head.

2. Turn the knife parallel to the board (at a 90-degree angle to your first cut) and cut along the spine from head to tail, removing the belly flap with the fillet. You’ll need to apply a fair amount of pressure at first to break through the rib bones. As you cut, press down firmly on top of the fish to steady it.

3. Finish removing the fillet by cutting all the way through the skin at the tail. Repeat steps 1 through 3 on the other side of the fish.

4. Remove the rib bones and belly flap by cutting under the top of the rib bones to the bottom of the fillet at a 45-degree angle. There is some meat here, but on small fish it is minimal. (On larger fish like tuna, this fatty belly is thicker and very flavorful.)

5. Finally, check for pin bones. Some fish have little bones that run along the midline of the fillet and are nearly impossible to see. To remove them, feel along the fillet to locate each bone and then pluck it out with a pair of clean needle-nose or fish pliers. Pull the bones out in the direction they are pointing, as you would a splinter.

6.(Optional) Put the fillet, skin side down, on the cutting board. Starting at the tail end and holding the knife parallel to the cutting board, slice between the flesh and the skin, as close to the skin as possible, until you can grasp the tail end of the skin with a paper towel. With the knife angled ever so slightly down toward the skin, slice along the skin, using a gentle sawing motion. As you slice, simultaneously pull on the tail skin in the opposite direction to maintain pressure on the cutting edge of the knife. If you miss a spot, trim it away. You can eat a fish with or without a skin. It gives it texture and protection.

You can give the skin and gizzards to the water weirdo. They love to eat that stuff. With that, why don't we head in into making some fish, threw ways?

Seared Method: Fish Filet With Ratatouille

Mise en Place:

For the Fish

- 1 Fish Filet

- 1 Tablespoon of Butter

- 1 Tablespoon of Oil

- 1 Tablespoon Chopped Parsley

- Salt and Pepper to taste

For the Ratatouille

- 2 Cups Eggplants, in cubes

- 1 cup red or orange bell pepper, in cubes

- 1 cup Onion, diced

- 1/2 Cup Yellow Squash, diced

- 1/2 Cup Zucchini, diced

- 1 1/2 cups Tomato, diced.

1. Place all of the vegetables, except tomatoes, in large bowl with 3 tablespoons of oil. Toss gently to coat. Sprinkle vegetables with  salt; toss gently to coat. Set aside. Place 3/4 cup of the tomatoes in the blender and blend until smooth.

2. Heat a griddle or pan over medium-high heat with oil. Place seasoned vegetables and sautee for 5 to 6 minutes or until nicely charred and tender-crisp, turning occasionally. Add the pureed tomatoes and remaining diced tomatoes to the vegetables. Cook and stir until heated through. Remove vegetables from griddle.

3. Season both sides of fish with salt and pepper. Sear the fish on both sides until fish is lightly charred and flakes easily with a fork, about 10 minutes per inch of thickness.

4. Serve with parsley on top to add a little razzle dazzle. And done!  

Steam Method: Filet Papillote with Veggies

Mise en place:

- 1 to 4 Fish Filet

- 1 cup dry White wine

- Tomato, in eondelle

- 1 Eggplant, in Rondelle

- 1 Zucchini, in Rondelle

- 1 Onion, in Rondelle

- 2 yellow Bell pepper, in Rondelle

- 3 Garlic cloves , minced

- 1 lemon , in Rondelle

B

1. Place the fish and white wine together in a bowl to marinate for an hour.

2. Mix all the vegetables in a bowl, along with salt, pepper, and a tablespoon of oil, and toss to coat.

3. Lay 4 sheets of parchment paper, or aluminium foil, twice the size of fillets on a counter. Add a bed of the vegetable mixtures, and the fish on top. Salt and pepper then fish. Add the lemon rounds on top of the fish. Seal the package like an envelope. Very tight. Don't let any deliciousness seep through.

4. Bake in an over for 200°C/400°F for 20 minutes, until vegetables are done. Remove from oven, open, and eat up while it's hot!

Raw Mehod: Passionfruit Ceviche

Mise en place

- 1 1/2 Cups of Diced Fish Filets

- 1 Cup of Passionfruit Juice

- 1/4 Cup Lemon Juice

- Salt and Pepper to taste.

- 1 Red onion, in emince

- 3 Spicy peppers, cut in wedges. Banana pepper is ideal, but jalapeno works great.

- 2 tablespoons of Cilantro

1. Mix the fish and both the juices in a bowl and let marinate for an hours. Since the acid of the juices cooks the fish, we can eat it "raw."

2. Add the vegetables to the bowl with the fish and marinade, and quickly mix together with some salt and  pepper to taste.

3. Add the cilantro,  and give it one last mix. Serve with the juice.