Wow finally in this book there is an entry on my real, true side of crappy life... yay.
I noticed my status in my family is one of the lowest of the low.
First, as an anime lover, my relatives can "joke" about how anime is a disgrace, how it is useless, etc.
Then, my male relatives (close to my age) and my brother have the right to slander me, call me fat and ugly, verbally abuse me in any way they can, and get away with it, instead I get yelled at for not accepting jokes.
My mom can verbally abuse, physically hurt, and take away my rights by any stupid reason and claims that she is always correct. She has the power to take away my power of speech, the right to eat, the right to feel BAD. I try to tell her how I feel but it all ends with myself crying and venting. Just today she yelled at me for not using my brain amd calling me stupid for not wiping one of the cups she washed in the chinese restaurant. There was half a cup of water in it.
My other relatives can flat out ignore me.
What's more, my brother can feel free to physically hurt me, tattletale and bully me however he likes, and I'M the one who gets punished.
When I do the same bad things he does, my mom finds a way to minimize his punishment as much as possible, while I can have my punishment increased as much as she likes, to the point it isn't even okay anymore.
Whenever my family RARELY praises me, my mom finds ways to lower me, making me feeling worse and worse, and more worthless all the time. She says it is to "motivate" me, but is it? She also allows me to do many things, then uses it to scold me. She also compares me to people she barely knows while I know their true side. She once compared me to a bunch of boys. 1 was perverted and had a sexual abuse record at school, one deliberately fights and one is just really mean.
The only place where I am truly accepted as who I actually am is here. School probs hates me, home isn't even home... I can't take this anymore!
I.wish one day i can leave my house, my family, and settle in some family that loves me...
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