*North Korea POV*

I looked out the window to see zombie-like figures walking the streets. Lots of military personnel, as they are required to wear their uniforms. As are school children. My country seems to love uniforms. I can't say the same. I like being able to choose what I wear each day so having to wear the same blah uniform every day gets tiring.

Fortunately, I somewhat get to choose what I wear to UN meetings. My government doesn't like pictures of people in the military (or pictures of me, for that matter) so they let me wear something different so I'm not in a uniform, even though I'm technically in the military nonetheless. Usually I wear a dark navy trench coat with black jeans, so I look somewhat professional and not like shit, but under it I can wear whatever I want. It's my little form of rebellion against my government. One time I wore a Sailor Moon shirt under my coat. Obviously, I'd never admit it if you asked.

In all honesty, I really don't like how my country turned out. Sure, every countrymaster should just adore their country, but I truly hate mine. All I wanted was for it to be communist, that's all. Somehow, I got roped into a dictatorship and have no way of getting out of it. Despite my (and Soviet's) efforts to convince my government to go a different way, they refuse. So now, I'm stuck in this hellhole that I technically created with everyone living in it hating me because they think I want this. If only they knew the truth.

I snapped out of my thoughts as my suitcase became too full to close.
"Crap." I thought, "Need to smush it a little."
I tried to compact my clothing and business papers as best I could, but ultimately had to take some things out.

I was packing for another UN meeting. This one would be taking place in Beijing so it wouldn't be too long of a flight there. You're probably confused as to how I'm going to a UN meeting as my country doesn't hold a seat on the Security Council. Well, lately my country has starting making me go to them to discuss missiles and such. I don't mind. I like getting out of the country, even if only for a small amount of time. Though, I always feel nervous about the people I leave behind knowing I can't stop them from getting hurt now.

"Uhm," I heard a voice from behind me. I quickly snapped my head behind to look at whoever it was. It was a young-ish boy in a military uniform. "Your plane is ready."
I slowly nodded, "Yes, thank you."

His face was slightly contorted after I said that, before muttering an 'Of course' and speedily walking away. I understood why. I was one of the only few people of a higher status that thanked others when they did something. That's just how it is here.

With the now less full, and zipable, suitcase, I went out to my plane where I was greeted by another military officer.
"Good luck on your trip, Sir."
Instead of saying thank you, I just nodded. I didn't want to say thank you as there were other people watching and didn't want them to think anything badly of me or the human so I just did what every other government person does.

A little more than two hours later, I landed in Beijing. It was a beautiful, but very busy city. Most other countries get a ride to the UN meeting in advance, but I can't really do that from Pyongyang, so I usually just get a taxi or something. The drivers of them always look concerned when I step in due to my country and the fear it provokes in everyone.

This driver was no different.
His face was a mix of anger, confusion and disbelief.
"Can you take me to the capital building?"
"Uh, sure..."

You're probably confused again. Well, sometimes UN tries to be "inclusive" and do meetings in countries that don't have a UN building, so this time it's in China's capital building. I really love it when we do it here because then I get to see China more since he doesn't have to rush to the airport for his flight.

I finally arrived at the building and paid the driver before heading in. It was beautiful inside, with its architecture and blending of colors.
"Good morning."
I jumped a little before quickly turning around. I internally sighed. It was just Laos, a fellow communist country I remember seeing at Soviet's meetings.
"Good morning, Laos. What do you need?"

"I hate to be an inconvenience, but where is the meeting room? Last time we had a meeting here I was sick and couldn't attend."

I sighed before saying,
"Follow me."

We walked in silence for a few minutes before she tried to start up a conversation.
"So, uh, how are you and your brother?"
"Fine."
That was a lie. I hadn't talked to him since the last UN meeting where they made us talk. We haven't really gotten along since the war, and it doesn't seem like that'll change anytime soon.

Thankfully, we soon got to the meeting room and said our goodbyes, ending the incredibly awkward silence. I then went to my seat, while Laos went to hers, of which was not too far from me.

UN goes back and forth from telling countries where to sit by alphabetical order or continent. This time it was apparently by continent, as all the Europeans were in one section with the Asians in the other. All the seats were mostly filled up, but we were still waiting on a few. One of those being the person that sits to my right, China.

To my left was, unfortunately, my brother South Korea. We've always sat next to each other but never talk. Usually I have China to talk to so we don't whisper argue. I looked over to my right to see if anyone else was there. Thankfully there was.
"He.. Hey! Mongolia. How's it goin'?"
South Korea rolled his eyes and scoffed from beside me, as Mongolia put a finger on his chest as if to ask, 'Me?'
"Yes you! How are you?"
"Uh, not terrible. Why, what do you want?"

"Oh sweet Jesus..." I thought.
I shook my head to tell Mongolia no. He understood and went back to looking up at the ceiling, nose pointed straight up, like a five year old.
I felt slight nudging from beside me, and resisted the urge to look over, knowing South Korea just wanted to argue.

"North."
"No. Not now."
"North."

"I told you no!"
"Why did-"
"He told you no."

We both looked to our right to see China standing tall over us. He had a frightening stance and South quickly backed off. I mouthed a thank you as China took his seat. I helped him push out his chair a little as his hand was in a cast. His other hand had been cut off in the Sino-Indian war back in the sixties.

"Thank you," he said in response to me helping. "Did I miss anything? Macao and Hong Kong were fighting so I was later than I wanted."
"The meeting hasn't started yet."
"Oh I know. I mean, has anyone done anything weird?"
"Not really."

He hummed in response before looking over at the podium. Some organizations (ASEAN, EU and NATO) were talking quietly to each other before NATO ran over to a door. The meeting must be starting.

I was right, as UN started walking over the the podium before tapping the mic a few times to get everyone to shut up.
"Good morning everyone and thank you for being here," he said. "This meeting is going to be shorter than usual as ASEAN and NATO meetings are taking place right after this. Out of respect for everyone that has to go to those meetings, this meeting will end earlier so that they can prepare. Any questions before we start?"

Everyone answered with a big silence, so UN called America up to talk about how climate change had been effecting Arctic areas. After that, I assumed it'd be Canada, literally any of Denmark's kids, or Russia.

Everybody else seemed very invested in what America was saying, but I didn't really care. I should've since global warming is affecting absolutely everybody, but I just couldn't stop focusing on China. That sounds incredibly weird, and it is, but something different about him just made me want to stop and stare.

After a while (like Finland had started talking while), China finally noticed and gave me an annoyed look, while mouthing 'What?'
"Sorry..." I whispered.
He gave me a strange look, almost a mix of confusion and realization (though that's not possible), before focusing back on the meeting.

God, that meeting went slow after that. I didn't know where to look, and if I just stared in front of me, zoning out, Brunei would think I'm staring at her. It got worse when they called on me to talk about missiles and I just said, "What missiles?" because I wasn't paying attention.

As soon as it ended, I tried to book it out of there in an attempt to avoid questions. Unfortunately, lots of other countries were also leaving because they had other meetings. China grabbed me by my arm as I stared at the line of countries trying to leave and practically dragged me back to our seats. Thankfully South Korea had already left going the opposite direction of me, so he wouldn't be here to argue.

"Don't leave now," he said, "Line's too busy, you won't be able to get anywhere."
"Oh..."
"Why were you staring at me?"
"Uhm..."

It was a tough decision. Tell him why, or lie and probably get caught. He's always seemed to know when someone is lying, so I went with the first option to avoid humiliation.

After I explained, he still seemed like he wanted to know more even though there was nothing more to tell.

Obviously, there's nothing more to it. I was enticed to stare at him and did so. Nothing more to it. Despite that, he kept pushing and asking questions. He even asked if I was still with my partner or not. If you're wondering, no, we broke up a few months ago.

He took me on a small walk around the nearby park to "clear our heads" or whatever he said. I don't know why, but everytime he looks over at me, I get nervous and look away. I shouldn't be nervous. It's just China, not my leader or South Korea.

We just walked in a strange silence around Zhongshan park, him admiring the tulips while I admired the temple and stone statues. I kept taking glances at him for no apparent reason. I didn't even know why. I always got a strange feeling when I was around him, maybe that's why.

"So," he started to say. "You sure there's nothing else?"
I sighed. "Yes China, I'm sure."
Weirdly enough, when I said that, I got butterflies in my stomach. Again, that's only ever happened around him. I remember Soviet saying something about when you get butterflies... it means you- Oh shit.

He seemed to sense my sudden anxiety and put his hand on my shoulder, sending the butterfly feeling going wild.
"You alright?" he asked, completely oblivious to what I just realized.
"I... Uhm..."
"Take your time." Surprisingly, he didn't say it in a sarcastic way. Maybe he already knew... Do I really want to risk telling him if  he doesn't feel the same though.

I only then realized how close he was to me, despite our height difference. I could see all his face features much easily now... his scars, his earrings... makeup? Ah, doesn't matter right now... Because of how close he was, I started thinking about.. different things and could feel the blood rush to my face.

I tried to look away so he wouldn't see I was blushing, but he gently pulled on my chin so I would look at him. Once I was facing him, he didn't take his hand off and just stared. It seemed he was blushing too.

He started to move closer toward me, gently pulling me forward. I abided and came closer to him. We were barely not touching at that point and something took over me. I tilted my head slightly and gently pulled China into a kiss. He kissed back, putting his hand and wrist on my shoulders.

We pulled back for a second and stared at each other, as if to ask "Are you sure?"
It seemed we both thought yes.

We kissed for a moment, letting us enjoy the moment as people walked by.
The kiss wasn't a describable thing, as it had so many things combined into one wondrous feeling. It made the butterflies go away and filled me up with such happiness and love. It made everything make sense, even if just for a moment. It was like we were floating, with no one else around to bother us.  

Eventually, we did have to part for air and let the other breathe. After we did, China put his hand on my face and said with a smile,
"I thought I'd have to tell you.."
"No, I figured it out. Thank you," I said with a smile incredibly wide.

I knew my government would go mad once they found out about us, but I don't care. Now that I have China and understand my feelings properly, it'll be okay. We'll find a way.

As we kissed once more, a bunch of orange tinted leaves from the starting of the new season flew past us as bells rang loudly in the distance. It was almost like a dream. I hope it never ends.

__________________

lmao ain't that ironic ending on, "I hope it never ends."

Anyway, I hope this was good, I tried to describe the gay in denial as best I could so I hope you guys enjoy it :D

Also thank you guys for reading this, I legit threw my hands up in joy when I saw this got over 700 views lol

Again, if you ever have requests hit me up whenever 

farewell~
-written-by-an-idiot

2318 words