Pain.

Blood.

Death.

Failure.

I've failed.

I failed Eliza.

I failed Roderick, not that I really cared much about him.

I failed myself.

I failed the Knights.

I failed God.

Those who live by the sword shall die by it.

It wasn't the red-eyed demon who killed me.

It was the green-eyed demon called jealousy, not my own jealously but Anso's.

I've lusted.

I've been greedy.

I've cheated.

I've lied.

I've killed.

I've judged.

But God please, let me be born again. I'll fix everything. I will.

I Gilbert Beilshmidt who was meant to rise, have fallen into a sea of blood of which there is no escape.

What a meaningless death.

Hours Earlier

Green pastures for miles.

A quiet forest with birds chirping and butterflies fluttering about.

A rabbit hides in a burrow beneath a large bush, nursing its babies.

A bear leans its head out from behind a tree, sees me and leaves with its cubs in follow.

The world is awake and lively.

This isn't good.

I looked around my surroundings looking for the familiar sight of blood; for the sea of which I'd seen every night since I saw the red-eyed man but tonight I didn't.

Every night I was warned of my impending doom and yet tonight it was peaceful. Why?

I turned around and saw Eliza and for no reason at all, she slapped my face and then I woke up.

I rubbed my arm and stared at Eliza, annoying she'd smacked me.

I combed my fingers through my hair, pushing the lose strands out of my face and sighed. I reached for my shirt and pulled it over my head, then my eyes widened in shock and I whipped around to look at a terrified Eliza, only in her undergarments and I bit my inner cheek.

Shit.

We fell asleep.

She shook my arm and cursed, "shit, vhat do I do?"

I held up my hands trying to urge her to stay calm and I pulled the covers away and got out of bed. I had to resist looking back at her.

Sweat clung to her body from sleeping together, skin to skin. Her breasts were tightly pushed against eachother in the way she held her arms and I bit my lip at the slightest glimpse of her tit. Did she know? Was she teasing me?

I had enough self control not to be stupid enough to stuff her with my dick but I started feeling unmanly for not acting on my urges, for not stripping her again right now.

I forced my thoughts away before I got hard and I continued to get dressed while she curled her knees up to her chest and held them tightly in worry.

I was about to break to awkward silence but she beat me to it and asked, "have vhat dream again?"

I froze and I thought about my dream, "no..."

"Vhat?" She exclaimed. "Does vhat mean you aren't cursed anymore?"

She could be right, but that would mean I wouldn't find the demon and I wouldn't avenge my friends.

I shook my head and she seemed confused, "Actually, it might mean something even worse. I've felt it for a vhile now, haven't you?" I asked and I quickly stepped over to my Bible, opening it to the bookmarked page.

I continued to explain when she didn't respond, "the atmosphere in town is different," it might have something to do with the prick that whispered to the others about me, "somehow it feels dangerous and the sky, the clouds have been vhere for days vike a varning." I could be looking to deep into this but it was really bothering me even though it shouldn't.

She tried to dismiss this, "so vhen it'll rain, it's not vhat bad. Just means ve'll have more fresh food soon."

I was hunting today, I didn't need fresh fruits and vegetables. I kind of despised greens, who wants to eat leaves?

I shook my head at her again, "I think you should stay inside today."

She looked angry but if this had something to do with me or with Anso she'd quickly become involved.

"You can't tell me vhere to go, you aren't my husband!" She snapped.

"So your husband can tell you vhere to go?" I retorted and she looked embarrassed.

"No, no one can."

Great. Another thing to worry about. Stupid girl, just trust me on this.

"Maybe you should at veast listen," I clicked my tongue and I feel as though she rolled her eyes at me. I grumbled and I left the room to go get her a change of clothes.

I'd have to avoid being seen by the servants. I, a priest, can't be seen going into a woman's room early in the morning. But in the same way she can't be seen leaving mine.

How troublesome.

I found a dress that seemed suitable enough after I'd successfully snuck in and I balled it up and peaked out the door. The corridor was empty. No guards?

I ran quickly to my room and kicked the door open. Eliza covered her mouth to avoid screaming.

She'd already dressed, did she think I was gonna leave her in here?

I walked back out quickly and heard her lock the door this time. The idiot could've been walked in on, what would she do then?

I grumbled and thought to myself about my disturbingly peaceful dream.

Could this mean I was being sent to heaven instead of hell?

I repeated the verse I'd bookmarked over and over in my head

"Exodus 33:14 My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."

Rest. Eternal rest. We all died eventually but first I'd face the demon who killed my friends, who killed my mentor, who took my hand and healed it for the sake of trauma and who left me with years of the same nightmare. Only I didn't have that nightmare last night.

I felt like bugs were crawling beneath my skin. I itched anxiously at my arms. Scratching them for no real reason. They began to leave red marks and I pulled my sleeves back down before I drew any blood.

I huffed and sat down at the table waiting for Eliza.

I reached for my rosary and realized I'd forgotten it.

Shit. Just another bad sign.

Suddenly Eliza walked in holding it and I thought my heart might stop. Is she stupid? They'll know we were together? Getting strange glances from the rest of the family she quickly covered up the truth, "vank you for vetting me borrow vhis," she lied.

I wonder if she'd come up with that before hand or was just good at lying on the spot. Either way she should probably pray about that. Me too.

I had a lot to repent for.

I took the rosary from her and clutched it tightly before placing it next to my breakfast plate. This family was kind enough to treat me to breakfast even though I wasn't a fan of strawberries. At least the biscuit was okay. I absentmindedly nibbled on it and I realized they were all staring at me.

I hadn't noticed but they must've mentioned my name.

I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say so instead I excused myself from the table and hurried to my room, trying not to look like I was in a rush.

I shut the door behind me and picked up my Bible and sat cross legged on the bed. I'd forgotten my rosary again. How could I be so forgetful today? Lord forgive me for all of this.

Eliza had straightened up my room by the looks of it, trying to cover her tracks, she was rather tricky now that I think about it.

I looked for every verse I could find that assured me God was with me to put my mind at ease but the sweat dripping from my forehead from anxiety only made my heart speed up.

Suddenly I could hear a sad tune on the piano.

Roderick must be upset about something.

Hopefully he didn't know the truth or I was screwed, Eliza even more so.

The piano music almost helped me drift away; almost.

The back of my neck burned and I got the overwhelming feeling I needed to leave my room so I quickly rushed out and ran back to the dining table to get my rosary.

It wasn't there.

I looked around and saw one of the maids holding it.

I approached her but she looked rather scared.

What the hell?

I reached my hand out to imply I wanted my rosary back but she didn't seem to understand. "My rosary," I explained and she jumped, like she just realized.

She handed it back to me and quickly turned around and scurried away like a frightened rabbit.

That was weird.

Everyone around here has been weird lately.

I'm pretty sure there's a rumor about me, but I don't know what it's about.

The nobles seem fine but I've had to avoid the town and now the servants and guards seemed upset about something.

I was used to my red eyes scaring people at first but I wonder if they were afraid my red eyes weren't because of my albinism. If so I'd need to clear it up before things escalated. Otherwise they might think I'm a demon and have me killed.

People get killed a lot for no real reason other than accusations. It's a screwed up world and that's why I'm here to help it.

I still have purpose in my life so I can't be so afraid of a peaceful dream.

Maybe Eliza really was right and I was free of the curse. But maybe the curse was passed on because the dread in Roderick's eyes as he leaned against one of the pillars was definitely new.

"Roderick," I addressed and he looked up at me startled.

He'd seemed fine at the table earlier not that I'd been paying too close attention.

"Gilbert," he responded. I'd prefer he address me by my title but I think right now he needs a friend, however it's not like he'd even consider being my friend if he knew I was messing around with the girl he loved.

"Vhat's troubling you?" I asked, trying to sound professional.

He shook his head, "my dream...it vas a vittle frightening." He explained.

I gave a him a face that made him realize I wanted him to elaborate so he continued to explain what he saw.

"You vere headless, Eliza was in chains made of blood and her eyes were red and bleeding and she was screaming trying to reach me and I vooked down at my hands and vhey vere covered vith blood and the sea of blood ve were standing on vas on fire as vell..." he looked down at his hands in worry.

A rather disturbing dream I could agree.

"Strange...my dream vas almost the opposite," I sighed and he raised one brow. "My dream vas...peaceful..."

He looked as confused as I felt and I ignored the pit of anxiety in my stomach and the two of us walked to our separate rooms to get ready for the hunt.

When I reemerged from my room I waited in the furthest corner possible of the main room and watched Eliza greet the guests like a proper lady that she clearly wasn't.

She curtsied and kissed the cheeks of the other women. She probably enjoyed that.

The woman, Lilith, hugged her and Eliza looked startled. It wasn't a proper greeting but she seemed happy to receive it anyway.

I wonder if they're friends?

I didn't really have any friends in the hunting party. I knew them and all but I didn't really clique with them.

I saw the Frenchman, Francis, enter and kiss Eliza's hand and I bolted around the corner.

That fucker was always too touchy feely with me. He's a weird man.

God tells me not to judge but this guy was just strange. He had an eery aura to him that threw me off balance somehow.

I heard his footsteps getting closer and decided to give in. I'd rather not go all the way back to my room only to have to eventually face him. I might as well, get it over with.

I turned back around the corner and his eyes lit up when he saw me. He straighten up and clapped his hands together, approaching me swiftly and far too gracefully for a man.

"Francis..." I mumbled.

He smiled brightly, "mon dear Gilbert."

I didn't know that language. French I'm assuming. Strange that he also knew German. I wonder why he was always here in the Holy Roman Empire rather than on the furthest part of our current maps.

He kissed either side of my cheeks. Not a man's greeting.

"Vhat the hell," I exclaimed in shock and he covered his mouth and laughed.

"Just a French greeting," he chuckled.

I hate the French now.

We watched the other guests arrive in silence but I hated the silence and decided to ask him a few questions.

"So vhy are you here?"

"To hunt."

"I mean the kingdom of Austria."

He shrugged, "I suppose zhis is just where life 'as taken me for now."

He seemed rather free spirited.

"You seem vather care free for a nobleman," I pointed out and he laughed again and held a finger to his lips.

"I'm no noble."

"Vhat?" I jumped a little in surprise and he laughed.

"I just 'ave quite a bit of money. I zhink of myself as more of an explorer. I want to see zhe world as it is before it changes again."

"Again?"

"Zhese Kingdoms didn't always exist. It's possible in zhe next few decades zhey'll disappear again."

"I don't mind austria disappearing," I mumbled and he laughed again.

Was I this entertaining to him?

"I seem to entertain you," I said, though it was more of a question.

He nodded, "you aren't like a lot of men, Gilbert. I zhink you will 'ave a very interesting life."

I raised an eyebrow but I left it at that and reluctantly left with Francis to greet the other men as they gathered together and walked towards us.

"Franz, Koen, Heiko," Francis greeted.

"Francis, I did not know you vould be here," Franz greeted him with a handshake and Francis smiled and nodded.

What? No french greeting with these men? Is it because you think as a priest I won't outcast you?

"Last minute decision," Francis noted. "Someone I know is in town so I decided to check up on 'im and thought I'd tag along."

Who does he know in town? Is he making it up and actually he was just more or less spying on us? I guess I can relate wanting to have people to fit in with.

I'd been here over a month and things only got worse for me. Back home I had Conrad, Albert, Zsigmund and Gerald, though these days most of them were busy with family.

After the massacre by the red eyed demon, Gerald stepped up and manned up and now he leads a section of our armies. Zsigmund felt the need to leave a legacy and quickly found someone to marry. Conrad also felt vulnerable and became a big sickly, he often visited the infirmary where he met a woman helping there and they got married. On the other hand Albert became extremely aggressive and serves as our strongest and most ruthless warrior. He often takes the hardest and most grueling and bloody tasks. He's somewhat of an executioner. He's trying to escape his past by drawing blood but that's bound to end in a bloody death. I prayed for him often that his need for blood and revenge would die down.

Though I guess I also felt a strong desire for revenge. I was centering my life around revenge. I became a priest for revenge. I'm here right now for the sole purpose of slaying just one demon. The hunting party today was my own suggestion, though I made it before things seemed eery. I was hoping to find the man by scouting more of the woods. We planned to go deeper in today than usual to find better food and get a better feel of the uncharted forest.

The deeper you go into the woods the thicker the shrubbery gets so we may need to leave our horses at some point.

We stocked up on arrows and a few brought hunting daggers. I brought a sword and a small bottle of holy water. I brought a Bible with me, strapped to my back hidden by my stock of arrows.

I was prepared to fight a demon.

This time I wouldn't let him get away.

Along the trail through the woods I recited the verses in my head, the ones that told me God is with me.

"Psalm 46:1-3 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

Proverbs 18:10 The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run into it and are safe.

Nehemiah 8:10 Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.

Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Exodus 15:2 The Lord is my strength and my song; he has given me victory. This is my God, and I will praise him—  my father's God, and I will exalt him!"

I think Francis could hear me as I mouthed them to myself, I would've sounded incoherent to even the trained ear but Francis seemed like he understood.

"Something troubling you, Gilbert?" He asked me and I shook my head and wore a fake smile.

"I'll be fine.."

"Right...because God is with you?" He teased and I gave him a curious look.

Did he hear me or was it just because I was a priest that he said something like that?

Our horses stopped and ahead of us Hanz drew back his bow, paused a moment, moving it with something in his sight and released it. We heard and saw a flurry of feathers as birds flew from the safety of their bushes.

Hanz and the others excitedly cheered and he retrieved his thrush and carelessly tossed it in a bag for his prey.

A thrush.

What did they have to cheer over, I bet I'll catch a Boar. Though my real goal is to catch a demon. In that case, these men will need to be prepared to run.

I swerved around the other horses loudly crashing through the thickets to get ahead of everyone else.

"Vooking for something, Father?" One of them teased and I ignored him and continued.

These idiots couldn't see the perfectly good stag right in front of them.

I held up my hand, demanding silence and they snickered to themselves as I quickly and expertly drew my bow and let it lose without a second of hesitation.

They heard the crash of the large stag but didn't see it until I smirked and lead them to it.

"Ve'll have to come back for vhis," Roderick said as the others stared at it.

They looked back at me and I had a wicked grin on my face.

These sissy's.

"Going to vet a priest hunt better vhan you?" I teased and tugged on my horses reigns, kicking it in the side and took off. The others sprinted in other directions rather loudly. They'll scare everything at this point.

As the woods got thicker it became inevitable we'd have to leave our horses at some point.

I nearly shot Hanz and he let it a terrified gasp as he recovered from having an arrow pointed in his face.

"Be careful, I nearly delivered you vight to God," I hissed quietly and he laughed nervously.

"Ve'll have to be more careful, vhere's another hunting party in the woods," he cautioned and I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Vhat? Vhese are private woods?"

"You...you didn't know your own guards planned to hunt today?"

"Vhey aren't my guards vhey're Roderick's and I haven't seen vhem all day," I hissed and he looked worried.

We both stood up from our crouched positions and decided to look for Roderick to ask him just in case.

"You idiot you scared it away," I heard Francis loudly complain.

"I didn't see it," I heard the Austrian complained.

"Found vhem," I mumbled and Hanz and I threw up our hands as a warning we were coming but Roderick still shot the ground in surprise.

"First of all; you idiot! Second of all; vhat vas a