26. Shards

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You sat on Jungkook's bed waiting for him to come back.

You sighed in frustration as you laid flat on your back staring up at the ceiling.  Who was that guy?  Who was he to the guys?

You rolled on your right side and whispered to yourself.  "Yugyeom.  Why do I feel like he's connected to Jungkook?"

The look in his eye from earlier.  He looked so mad and irritated.  He looked a bit lost and unsure of what to do.  I can't just stay here and do nothing.  Jin did say he was dangerous.

On the nightstand, Jungkook's laptop sat there and you slowly sat up pulling it onto your lap. 

You gripped the top of the laptop and lifted the screen up reaching the user screen.  You clicked the "guest" button waiting for the screen to load up.

What if I just googled his name?  You thought. Y/n.  He's a vampire.  Who knows how old he is and what are the odds that he is online?

You opened the search engine flickering your eye to the top of the screen.  The three bars were lit up indicating the connection to the internet.

No one tells me anything anyways.  What do I have to lose?  Unless I have the balls to actually meet up with him.  I mean, I know where he works.

"This is stupid."  You took a deep breath typing in the name.  "I don't even have his last name.  Who knows how many Yugyeom's could be out there?"

Before you could search, the door handle to the room started to turn.

You were quick to close the laptop placing it on the nightstand.  You laid back in the bed resting on your side near the edge of the bed.

"That walk must've been amazing huh?  You've been gone forever."  You spoke sarcastically.

You were still mad at him and you weren't surprised if he had some anger towards you.

You felt the bed dipped gently behind you.  He moved across the bed placing himself behind you.  He wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you into him.

What is he trying to do?  Make me forget?  You thought shocked from his actions.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to get mad at you like that."  He held onto you tighter.  "I just—nevermind."

You sighed in frustration,  "You have to tell me who he is you know?  I'm assuming you know him?"

You tried to start off the conversation, but he stayed silent.  You bit your lip in frustration gripping onto the bed with your fist.

So we are still keeping secrets.

"So you are going to continue lying to me and hiding things from me?"  You asked him.

"I told you to trust me.  You are better off not knowing."

"And I told you, that you give me no reason to trust you.  Tell me about the visions in my head.  You are obviously so aware about them."  You raised your voice at him.

"Y/n—"

"No!  Don't Y/n me!" You grabbed his hand and pulled it off of you.  "You are either going to tell me the truth, or don't say nothing at all."

He sighed in frustration and flipped on his back staring at the ceiling.  He stayed quiet. 

You found yourself balling up full of anger.  You sat up and walked to the couch.

"Hey, I will lay there if you don't want to be in bed together."  He offered but you glared at him and back at the couch.

You sat on it hugging your legs to your chest.  "How can we have a relationship when there is so many secrets and lies?"

Why is everyone in my life so against me?

Your heart started to pound aggressively.  You took a deep breath as your vision got blurry.

You stood up. "I can't even stay here with you."

"Y/n.  Come on."

You ignored him and left the room.

You hugged yourself as you walked down the hall feeling more unsure about Jungkook as moments passed by.  You walked into the kitchen and made your way to the cabinets.

You pulled one open pulling out a glass.

There was so many signs for you to see how secretive he was, but you tried to ignore it.  It made you feel uneasy and more unsure about yourself.

"Him telling me to ignore my visions was a major red flag."  You spoke to yourself.

"You talking about Jungkook?"  You closed the cabinet to meet Namjoon's face.

Your eyes widened and you nervously backed away into the table. The glass fell out of your hand shattering on the floor and jolted in shock.

"Shit!"  You cursed under your breath.

"Hey, Y/n."  Namjoon called to you cautiously.

You dropped down trying to pick up the pieces only to make a bigger mess as your hands got bloody from the shards.

"Oh my gosh.  I can't do anything right."  You dropped the bloody pieces.

"Y/n."  Namjoon kneeled before you getting your attention.  "Calm down."

He held your hand dabbing a wet rag on your cuts.  It was soothing, and the commotion going on in your head stopped as you watched Namjoons hands.

He slowly helped you up and pulled out a chair for you as you held the rag in your hands.  You sat there with red teary eyes.

"Let me clean up the glass, and we will talk."  He said and you nodded silently as tears streamed down your face.

"I could imagine how frustrating it is to be kept in the dark." He spoke with his arms crossed leaning against the counter. "I must say, I've never saw you get so emotional like this."

You raised the tissue to your nose. "I look so fucking stupid. Crying because someone won't tell me something."

"Do you ever think, this could be a deeper issue for you? I'm not saying your feelings aren't valid towards Jungkook's actions." He asked.

"Constantly feeling unwanted. My father found me a failure. I took power from my brother that he was suppose to be 'destined' at birth. My brother stood up for me back then, now power has made me a nuisance. I need to die for him to feel fulfilled. Now whether Jungkook intends to or not, he is locking me out. I don't understand him who tried so hard to convince me to get with him and he's now treating me like I can't be trusted!" You spoke passionately.

Namjoon stayed silent for a bit thinking about your words. He started to tap his fingers on the counter and stared at you.

"Have you ever thought that—no nevermind." He crossed his arms once again.

Straightening your back and stared at him in disbelief. "I just told you how—"

"I know! It's my opinion but I don't want to make you upset."

You eyed him carefully, then bit your lip nervously.

"Namjoon, I won't get mad. Just tell me." You spoke and he took a deep breath.

"Have you...ever thought of breaking up with Jungkook?" He asked and your eyes widened.

You removed the tissue from your face resting it upon the table. You stared at your hands for a couple of moments trying to process his words.

"Break up?" You laughed a bit, "We just got together."

"Let me explain." He sighed, "You got with him recently. Instead of showing you loyalty and making sure you feel safe in your relationship, he is causing you pain and confusion. You already know he is holding lies from you. He knows you are fully aware and won't tell you anything. What kind of boyfriend does that?"

You gently nodded, "I see what you are saying. I never thought you would talk about him like this."

"I understand Jungkook's viewpoint and that he's trying to protect you from so many truths, but if it was vice versa, Jungkook wouldn't take that." He spoke. "I know you don't deserve to feel like that."

You knew he was right. Why did you have to deal with confusion and fear? What reason has Jungkook given to you to trust him. You know Namjoon meant no harm. He was right that you were never like this before Jungkook.

Though that was more proof that you cared for him so much, which made it so easy for him to hurt you.

You slowly stood up.

"Thank you Namjoon. It means a lot. I do have a lot to think about." You gently smiled at him holding the rag.

"I'm always here if you need someone to talk to."

•••
AU:

Hey guys!

I know I'm super slow at updates but I do appreciate the support you guys give me!

2020 hasn't been a kind year to me like most people, and I feel that I have been losing my touch when it comes to writing lately.

I love writing it's just that my quality hasn't been the way I wanted it to be and it does come off as a bit discouraging. But I have been planning chapters ahead so hopefully that will help me fall in tune and back to my normal self.

Once again thank you so much for the support! I'm going to try and figure out a consistent schedule to post.

❤️

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