4: Apollo has to make it up to a certain hunter because he ate his Cheetos

[Gym, Ms Hydra's Class, Running Laps]

MS HYDRA: (loud, authorizing) QUIT SLACKING, HERCULES! TEN MORE ROUNDS!

HYMEN: (to Helen) Ms Hydra seems madder than usual. (eyes on Hercules as he effortlessly ran to finish his extra rounds) He's just lucky it wasn't like yesterday.

HELEN: (awkward) You are?

HYMEN: (chuckles) Hymen. (Sees Helen is still clueless) God of marriage?

HELEN: (jogs a bit faster to stay in his pace) Isn't that Hera?

HYMEN: (shrugs) Some people just know her as Zeus' sister and future wife.

HELEN: (grimaces) That's so Egyptian of them.

HYMEN: (playfully nudges her) How racist of you.

HELEN: (secretly worried of how sweaty she was, distances herself a bit, eyes on Hercules again as he just ran past them) Have you ever been sent to Nemesis?

HYMEN: (admittedly) Er... one time. I spilled mustard on Aphrodite once. (Flinches) She didn't take it so well.

HELEN: What punishment did you get?

MS HYDRA: (all heads focussed on Hercules, making sure she sees the slightest thing he did wrong, oblivious to the lousy running and talking other students, Hercules running perfectly fine) FIVE MORE ROUNDS!

HYMEN: Nothing too big. Just had to help the lunch lady with the dishes. (Shrugs, awkward) Hey, you and Hades aren't a thing... right?

HELEN: (purses lips, in thought) Not really.

HYMEN: You two were all over each other last night.

HELEN: (blushing at the thought of being "all over" someone, and the thought of Hades being "all over" her) Really?

HYMEN: Yeah.

HELEN: (honest) Well, we aren't.

HYMEN: Ahh. (Understanding) You're with Paris. Or was is Menelaus?

HELEN: (awkward chuckle) I don't know... I don't really want to be with either of them.

HYMEN: You're kidding.

HELEN: I'm not. (Just finishes a lap, two more to go) Paris won't even talk to me.

HYMEN: You probably haven't talked to him either.

HELEN: True...

HYMEN: So you're single?

HELEN: (knows where this is going) Yeah.

HYMEN: (grinning) What are you doing after school?

[Halls, Walking]

APOLLO: (fighting the smirk, walking along with Eros) You're sweating.

EROS: (fidgeting) She scares me, man.

APOLLO: (chuckling) I hope you don't mean her looks, because I'd surely sock you in the face. I'm hot, literally.

EROS: I'm serious man. She's evil. She hates me. She said she'd do that gled thing to me using her arrows and send her reindeer after me.

APOLLO: (assuring) She probably just likes you.

EROS: (overreacting) Likes me? Likes me? Do you know who I am? I'm literally the sex god. I go against everything she lives by.

APOLLO: (only catching onto the part where Eros called himself a sex god) Now you're just trying to inflate your ego.

EROS: How can you think of egos at a time like this? (Breathes out, to the ceiling) Why did Dionysus have to prioritize other people? Why was I nice enough to agree to this? Why does Artemis have to hate me? (To Apollo) Why do you even need me to come with you?

APOLLO: (knowing) You like her.

EROS: (scoffs) You wish. I'd rather go out with Argus.

APOLLO: That's an insult. Right there. Argus isn't so bad, you know? (Cheeky) He's a teacher too, so imagine his reaction when I simply report you, a student, saying you'd date him...

EROS: (shudders, dismissive) Back on topic, dude. I don't want to know "later". I could be agreeing to meet her at the alter for all I know. I'm going back if you're not gonna spill.

APOLLO: Don't you think I'm not telling you because I know you're gonna back out?

EROS: (sweats) Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm marrying your sister. Holy fuck of all fucks. (Clutches Apollo's shirt) I know I said I'd do anything for you, bro. But I didn't mean this. Sorry, I don't care if your sister ends up lonely.

APOLLO: (shoves Eros' hands away) Why do you always overreact when it comes to her?

EROS: (annoyed) Would you stop suggesting I like her?

APOLLO: (sighs) We're going to drag her to her date with Actaeon.

EROS: (breathing stops) Do you want to get castrated?! Why Actaeon?! She'll kill us! She hates him probably more than me!

APOLLO: He really likes her, bro.

EROS: Why do you think she hates him?

APOLLO: Just trust me.

EROS: Even if we do get her all the way to Actaeon, how the fuck do you think we'll get her to actually sit with him for fucking dinner?

APOLLO: (almost irritated) I said trust me.

[Student Lounging Room]

PERSEPHONE: That's so mean.

ARTEMIS: You did the right thing.

MEDUSA: (still confused) You rejected him?

HELEN: (shifts uncomfortably because of all the stares) I didn't reject him.

ARTEMIS: I don't care what you're calling it. It's the only way.

PERSEPHONE: Only way to what?

ARTEMIS: I don't know. (Shrug) Purity.

MEDUSA: (slow processor) You rejected him?

HELEN: (insistent) I didn't!

PERSEPHONE: But he's so sweet! He's the perfect husband character!

ARTEMIS: I don't really like Hymen, but I don't think he's the cheating type.

PERSEPHONE: (face-palms) I don't mean that kind of husband! I said "perfect"!

MEDUSA: (still late, sinks deeper into the couch) I can't believe this.

HELEN: Didn't you swear yourself to Artemis' ways last night?

ARTEMIS: (snorts) There's a reason why her grades are low.

MEDUSA: Hey!

ARTEMIS: (apologetic) I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that! I only meant that it wasn't smart of you to--

MEDUSA: (waves her off with left hand) Whatever.

PERSEPHONE: (back on topic, to Helen) You could have at least given him a chance.

HELEN: (honest) I'm not really interested in him that way.

ARTEMIS: (mind still on the topic of last night, to Helen) Hey, where did you go last night? You took forever with that water.

MEDUSA: (realizing) Yeah. Where were you?

HELEN: (shrugs, effortlessly lies) There was this creepy drunk in the kitchen, nearly raped me. Sorry I took so long.

PERSEPHONE: (caring) You poor thing!

ARTEMIS: (knowing snort) Men.

MEDUSA: Oh my gods. This is my fault! If I hadn't been crying last night--

ARTEMIS: Which you were doing because of a boy.

PERSEPHONE: Artemis, Helen just confessed that she was almost raped last night. Could you drop the anti-men thing for just a few minutes? Be considerate.

HELEN: (hiding guilt) It's okay, guys. I'm fine. Nothing happened.

ARTEMIS: (snorts, to Persephone) See?

APOLLO: (casually walks into the lounge, Eros as stiff as a rock behind him, fakes surprise) Oh look, Eros! It's my dear twin.

EROS: (flinches at the mention of Artemis, scared) Wow, coincidences. Yeah.

ARTEMIS: (to her brother) What do you want? Your controlled relaxed expression sickens me. (Eyes on Eros) And why'd you bring Mr Diapers over here, eh?

EROS: (awkward) That's technically Cupid...

APOLLO: (steps closer to the girls, eyes Eros, motioning him to step closer too, to Artemis) When was the last time we hung out together, sis?

ARTEMIS: (knows he doesn't mean well, smirking) Funny, you forgot.

EROS: (close to bowing in her presence, close to peeing, gulps, leaning toward Apollo) She pierced your ear, remember?

ARTEMIS: (scoffs) You make it sound like he didn't purposely let Hermes strip in front of me.

PERSEPHONE: (bright side) At least he never finished. You're eyes are still--

APOLLO: (resists the urge to touch his left earlobe) Can't we just hang, sis?

ARTEMIS: I'm with my friends. They don't like you either. (Sighs) Except Persephone. Medusa and Helen don't really have anything against you but I'm sure they hate you.

MEDUSA: Actually--

ARTEMIS: I'll slice your leg clean.

MEDUSA: (pouts) Hmph.

ARTEMIS: As you can see, we're having an all girls day.

EROS: (snickers because that's everyday of her life, silent laugh) LOL.

ARTEMIS: (rises from her seat, stepping toward Eros, smirking when he steps back) What was that?

EROS: (eyes wide) Nothing! I didn't- I wasn't- I'm sorry!

APOLLO: (lunges at Artemis, gathers her hands in one of his, holds it behind her back, holds her back against him, his other hand having her in a choke hold, smiling) Thanks, Eros.

EROS: (frantic when Artemis' eyes blaze with hatred for him) I swear, I didn't know he was going to use me like that. I would never-- (groans when she doesn't look convinced, to Apollo, whiny) Apollo!

HELEN: Sorry to butt in but... what exactly do you want with her?

PERSEPHONE: Didn't he just say he wanted to hang out?

MEDUSA: He was lying.

PERSEPHONE: (to Apollo) So you don't really miss her?

APOLLO: (ignores her, to Artemis, in her ear, not whispering) Listen, I need a favor.

ARTEMIS: Your breath smells as terrible as you.

APOLLO: (chuckles) Then I wouldn't exactly count it as.

ARTEMIS: (trying to Ariana break free) Release me!

APOLLO: As long as you swear you'll go on a date with Actaeon.

ARTEMIS: (gasp) How can you ask me to do such a thing? You aren't just asking me to go on a date, but date with--

APOLLO: Do it or I'll open up a porn mag.

ARTEMIS: You don't have one.

APOLLO: Wanna bet? (To Eros) It's in my back pocket.

PERSEPHONE: (whispering to Medusa) Their so entertaining.

ARTEMIS: (scoffs) He wouldn't dare.

APOLLO: Come on, dude!

EROS: (wipes sweaty palms on jeans, swallowing) Do I have to--

APOLLO: Of course!

ARTEMIS: (scoffs) Coward.

EROS: (to Apollo) Why are you even doing this for Actaeon anyway?

APOLLO: I ate his Cheetos. (Dismissive) It doesn't matter.

ARTEMIS: I'd rather suffer your insufferable pornographic magazine than go on a date with that blinded fool.

APOLLO: He isn't blind...

EROS: She means blind enough to like her.

APOLLO: Oh. He really is blind.

ARTEMIS: Let go of me!

APOLLO: Not unless you swear you'll tolerate dinner with him!

ARTEMIS: Never!

APOLLO: (sees Ares walking by) Ares!

ARTEMIS: (knows where this is going) No!

ARES: (bored) What do you want?

APOLLO: (suggestive) Wanna show sissy here the porn mag in my back pocket?

ARTEMIS: (sees that Ares is walking their way, to Eros) You, foolish boy! Help me!

EROS: (reluctant) But...

ARTEMIS: I'm going to strangle you if you don't!

EROS: (tries to step in front of Ares, flinches when Ares smirks, screams when Ares flings him against the wall, grunts) Ow.

ARTEMIS: (sees her friends) This is what I get for having vulnerable friends. (Screams when Ares has the magazine in hand) Okay, okay! I'll go on a stupid date with him. Thirty minutes only!

APOLLO: Swear on your virgin goddess ways! I have this recorded.

ARTEMIS: I swear on my virginity. Now release me! (Closes eyes when Ares flips the magazine open)

APOLLO: (releases her) Good.

ARES: (rolls eyes) Well, that was was a complete and utter waste of my time.

ARTEMIS: (tackles her brother, wrestling him on the tiled floor) You imbecile!

ARES: Guess it wasn't.

A/N:

Thoughts on Hymen and Helen?

Thoughts on Helen not spilling about talking to Hades?

Note: Artemis COULD close her eyes, but anyone could easily pry them open. Any true virgin queen wouldn't take the risk.

Anywho, let's all hope for Apollo's other earlobe, hope it stays unpierced... or at least pierced evenly with the other one hahah

One last thing: poor Eros :( okay bye

FUN FACT: Hymen was supposed to be talking to Psyche, but I can't really give him all the guys, right? Helen's supposed to be super gorgeous so I thought that scene suited her best.