[ i've had so many shitty ideas for writing today wow // song is by the young veins

warnings for the entire au: language, eventual mentions of pregnancy and miscarriages, eventual mentions of drugs and alcohol, eventual cheating and breakups

concept: lewis' story would've been a lot tougher if he'd been a girl. aka the au where the only thing that changed is lewis is a girl

things don't exactly follow the backstory / timeline correctly bc i had ideas lmao

i think i've decided that girl!lewis is gonna be named liatris/lia? it's a cool looking purple flower

stay safe,
lew. ]

——————

Liatris really, really hated her name.

She hated almost everything, if she was being honest. At the moment, she hated the school for not being more accommodating, her mom for the big move, her old friends for fucking everything up, her brother for leaving her behind, and all her classmates for just being dickheads.

During lunch, she snuck out the door with her cigarettes and lighter stowed away in her pocket. There was this little corner of the courtyard where the security camera didn't monitor, and the ground there was littered with things like condom wrappers and cigarette packaging.

She lit up and inhaled, too busy watching the smoke to realize that there was someone standing there. It was enough to make her drop the cigarette when he spoke.

"Why the hell are you smoking? You look like a middle schooler!"

"Fuck you, I'm seventeen," she snapped, grabbing her smoke from the ground. Instead of finishing it, she groaned and stubbed it out against the wall, then turned to glare up at the guy. "Thanks for that, asshole. It was my last one and I'm not putting anything that touches the ground here in my mouth again. I might do questionable shit, but I have standards."

"It's a fucking awful habit anyway," he murmured, sounding rather cheerful. "I don't think I've seen you around before. How do I know you didn't sneak on to school property?"

She sighed and pulled her school ID out of her pocket, holding it out to him. "This enough proof for you?"

He studied it for a long moment before nodding. "Liatris? What kind of name is that?"

"It's a flower. My mother's absolutely fuckin' obsessed with them," she muttered as she put the card back in her pocket. "Where's your proof? How do I know you didn't, like, sneak away from a photo shoot to bother teenagers?"

He laughed, sounding kind of endeared as he found his own ID to show her. She took the card from him and inspected it. "Logan? How old are you? Nineteen?"

"Sixteen. Birthday's in January."

"No fuckin' way. You're too pretty to be younger than me. What the shit."

"If you keep complimenting me like that, I'm gonna have to keep bothering you, Liatris."

"Call me Lia, don't report me for the cigarette thing, and I'll considering continuing."

————

"Yo, dude. Look over these and tell me if they suck too much to be for my music project," Lia said one day, practically shoving the piece of notebook paper into Logan's hands.

The two had become pretty good friends over the past few weeks, and for once, Lia was glad her brother had moved, so he wouldn't tease her about the boy who walked her home.

She waited patiently. Both of them had concentration problems, but Logan's were worse, so she was silent until he handed back the paper. "It's good, Lia, but it doesn't feel like it's honest, if that makes sense."

"Fuckin' great. Now I gotta write new lyrics and come up with a good instrumental. I hate this class so much-"

"We can work together. My teacher said we're allowed to collab."

Lia didn't hesitate to grin and nod. "Dude, fuckin' come over to my house and we can figure this out. I'll do the lyrics if you can figure out chords and shit."

————

"So, Liatris, which one of these is your namesake?" Logan asked, a shit eating grin on his face as he paused in walking up the steps.

Lia sighed loudly, but pointed out the liatris among the assorted blooms in the front flower beds. She was on the porch, he was on the second step up, and they were about the same height. Fuck genetics.

She unlocked the door and said, "My room's up the stairs, second door on the right. I gotta grab something to drink. I'll be right up."

"Cool. Gives me time to find your diary," he teased, heading up the steps.

"If you touch my notebooks, I'm gonna cut your dick off!" She shouted, walking into the kitchen.

"That's kinky!" He called back, but it was clear he was laughing.

She rolled her eyes, but grabbed what she wanted and headed upstairs.

Logan had already made himself at home, her acoustic in his hands as he sat cross legged on her bed. She set the bottles of water and bags of candy down on her desk, then grabbed a notebook labeled 'age 13 part two' off of the shelf.

"Didn't find the diaries, did you?" She asked, flipping through the pages until she found a suitable one.

"Were they those notebooks up there? The one place I didn't check," he said, the joking tone evident in his voice. It fell away when he told her, "I didn't look. I saw your guitar and focused on it."

"Good. I didn't wanna have to hurt my best friend out here." She held out the notebook, but pulled it back to her chest. "Just this page. And you have to keep this between you an' me. Promise?"

"I promise," he told her, making an 'x' over his heart. "Let me read it!"

She handed over the book. It felt like she was suffocating in the silence that shrouded the pair as Logan read, but she occupied herself with forcing down a couple gummy bears and a drink of water.

"Lia... These are really good. How are you not in a band or something?" Logan asked, shifting the guitar on his lap and himself on the bed to make room for her.

She sat next to him, immediately pulling her knees to her chest. There was a long hesitation before she told him, "I used to be in a band. Then I moved away. It was for the best, though..."

"We should start a band. I'll look out for you, so your mom doesn't have to worry. I'll sing the songs, you can write them."

"I'll have to think about it, sunshine boy."

——————

[ fuck
this girl version of lewis is ten times more bad ass than my boy

i could be biased because i'm more attracted to girls but still

concepts i have:
- continuing this one
- the carpal tunnel of love: 'the one where chase talks so much shit, ronnie has the patience of a fucking saint, and bailey hears more than he bargains for'