[ // song is by waterparks

warnings: language

concept: the pilot for a cooking show that never airs.

i can't write cooking worth a shit i tried, it was horrible, i got rid of that scene

stay safe,
lew. ]

—————————

"What's your name and why are you competing in our show?" Harry asked, offering the wide eyed boy in front of him a charming smile.

"My name is Bailey, and I'm here because my best friend promised that she'd stop drinking so much if I won," the boy replied in a cheerful tone.

"Well, that's... admirable."

——

"I'm Lewis and my brother signed me up. I dunno why, I can't cook very well..." The brunet murmured, smiling hesitantly.

——

"My name is Ronnie. My husband—"

"Ronnie, you can't mention Ezra or Harry. Make up some other reason, we have to pretend like you guys don't know each other."

"Oh."

"Try again, buddy."

"My friends thought it'd be interesting."

——

"What's up, I'm Chase, and I was bribed with a shopping spree at the liquor store."

——

"Here are your judges! Chef Ezra Riley, music superstar Logan El-Amin, and model Z Alkire," Harry introduced, gesturing to each of them in turn. "I'm your host, Harry Brooks."

"He's also a music superstar! Don't let him forget," Logan chimed in, giving the cameras a charming smile.

"We've asked the contestants to prepare their favorite food for us, and Harry said they get an hour to do so?" Z added uncertainly, looking to Harry for confirmation.

He nodded. "Good luck!"

————

They stood in front of the judges one by one.

Bailey bounced on his heels a bit as he told them, "I made cherry cheesecake because what else I would've made takes like three hours."

"It's very sweet," Z commented, "Almost too sweet."

"Canned pie filling is really sweet anyway, and it's pretty much just graham crackers, whipped cream, sugar, and cream cheese."

——

Lewis smiled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "I made pizza because I can't cook like my mom, and other than her food, pizza is my favorite."

"It's a bit... burnt," Ezra pointed out, inspecting the crust.

"Yeah, I'm sorry 'bout that. Like I said, I suck at cooking."

——

"So, Chase, what did you make?"

"Ramen," she answered, not looking up from her phone.

"Is that all?" Logan asked

"Yeah. Just ramen noodles. Takes like five minutes to make and it's my favorite food."

"That's the lazy way to do it," Ezra murmured, rolling his eyes.

She flipped him off and walked away, but the camera guy sighed and stopped filming.

"This is just turning into a giant shitshow and the producers don't want to continue. Sorry guys."

———————

[ aka this is a giant shitshow and the writer doesn't want to continue.

chase would've been eliminated in the first round
then lewis

and then it would be between ronnie bc his presentation would be like flawless, and bailey bc his stuff is really good

idk who would've won this was horrible ]