I ask people questions lmfao. 

Sometimes they give me the wrong answers. This is #69. 

Me and S. at the lost arms, and she wake me up at the crack of dawn with her bs, "YO SNICKET!" Goddamn, that bish hair look like she took a bath with a toaster and then used a whole can of hairspray on that shit.

"What?" I asked her. Ofc I already knew, but I asked to be polite. 

"Get in the car, it's time to interrogate some mfs!" I followed that crazy ho to the car,

"Sicko Mode or Mo Bamba?" She asked.

"Actually--" 

"Nah jk fam, y'allready know I only listen to Lil' Pump!"

GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG  GUCCI GANG--

"Ok, we here!" I stepped out of the car and shed a single tear.

Tf was that? I thought to myself.

Theodora walked up to the house in front of us and knocked on the door.

"IT'S OPEN" someone called from inside. Theodora opened the door and stepped inside, and I followed, ears still ringing from her awful music. 

I looked around the room, a small coffee table sat on top of the stained carpet next to a tan couch. On the table was a tube of lash glue and a single fake nail. The house smelled of smoke and cheap purfume, a terrible combination. 

A lady in sweats and a tanktop came down the steps, holding a screaming toddler in her arms. She handed the child a bottle of formula and set him down. Then she picked up the lash glue and started putting it on her eyelid. Theodora cleared her throat. The woman didn't look up from her tube of lash glue.

"I'm S. Theodora Markson, and this is my aprentice, Lemony." Theodora said, a bit louder than usaul.  

"Are y'all the detectives?" The lady asked.

"Well, no--" 

"What did you call us here for, ma'am?" I cut Theodora off.

"I can't find my babydaddy," she said, still aplying lash glue.

"What was he wearing last?" I asked.

"lmao that's gaaaayyyy!" Theodora whispered at me. I looked angrily at her. She avoided my eyes and looked instead at the lady, who had finally finished with the lash glue, and was now rumaging around under the couch,

"What's your name, Miss?" She asked. The lady pulled her arm out from under the couch, along with a hot pink bong,

"Joey." The lady said, as she lit the pipe. The toddler finished his bottle and started wailing. Joey pulled out an Ipad from in between the couch cushions, and gave it to her son. 

"You said that you called us becuase you needed to find a missing person?" S. asked. 

"Yeah, he missing," answered Joey. She took a hit from her bong. 

"What's his name?" 

"You think I know?" Joey laughed. Then she took another hit from her bong.

"OK, Snicket, I think we've learned enough!" Theodora started towards the door.

"But--" Theodora grabbed my arm,

"TIME TO GO!!" She said. Then we left.