Copyright 2013 © Rosesareforever

A Fight without Remorse

Chapter 21

*Two months later*

Time seems to fly by when you are enjoying yourself, when you’re in the company of loved ones or when you’re enjoying a quiet moment to yourself. Unfortunately, when that special someone is no longer in your life, time seems to stand still. Minutes pass like hours, hours like years till you're no longer soaring, but crawling. 

It had been two months, two freakishly long months since Alexis had walked out of his apartment, her eyes filled with rage and hatred. She hadn't bothered to return any of his calls and refused to come to the door when he'd tried to visit her at Jade's home. He had tried to contact her in every way imaginable, so far his attempts had been useless. 

Two days after she fled his apartment, Marcus had gotten a termination notice in the mail. He was no longer needed at the company and didn’t have to come back to sit out his contract. According to the letter, he had been fired because of economical downfall at the company. 

Not wanting to pressure Alexis in any way, there was nothing he could do right now. He deserved his plight. If he hadn't lied to her in the first place, they'd be together right now. Shame and regret filled his gut whenever he thought about the woman he loved. It had been a colossal fuck up on his part. He had no idea what to do about it or how to fix it.

Marcus wasn't known for being a quitter. He wasn’t planning to let the love of his life slip away from him. No matter how hard she tried to shut him completely out of her life, he wasn't about to give up. Even if it meant they couldn't be lovers, he would still do everything humanly possible to put a smile back on her face.

“Jade Johnson speaking,” Alexis’ sister answered as she picked up her phone.

“Hey, this is Marcus. I was wondering if…” he trailed off when she disconnected the call and the line went dead. He sighed as he tossed his brand new phone aside. It had been the third one he bought this month. The other two shattered when he, in his frustration, threw them against the wall. 

When it was clear that Alexis wouldn't speak with him, he tried reaching out to Jade instead. He needed to convince her that he never deliberately set out to hurt her sister. Yes, initially that had been his goal, but after he removed the blinders about Peter, he did everything in his power to help her make HEHG successful. Even Alexis had to admit that they made a very adept team.  Marcus couldn’t live without Alex in his life, somehow he had to find a way to win her back. Even if it meant swallowing his pride and begging for her forgiveness. 

He dialed the number again and again, praying Jade would pick up. He blocked the number recognition, but was pretty sure Jade knew exactly who was calling incessantly. The phone rang three times, before the middle Johnson sister finally picked up. 

“Don’t hang up on me, please,” Marcus begged, his voice strained. He heard a loud sigh echoing on the other end of the line. When he didn't hear the call disconnect, a bit of hope strengthened his resolve.  

“What. Do. You. Want?” asked Jade, seemingly having difficulties remaining calm. 

“I need to talk to you. I know when I hurt Alexis, I also hurt you, but please give me a chance to explain. I promise I will quit bothering you if you'll just provide me with the opportunity," Marcus pleaded, knowing it was probably futile. Jade wasn’t easily convinced. She would be a tough shell to crack.

“So talk,” she replied, her voice even. 

“I need to see you, Jade. This isn’t something that can be done over the phone,” Marcus spoke, praying she could see the truth in his statement. They couldn’t have a serious conversation like that over the phone, it was something that needed to be done in person. 

“You are wasting my precious time, Mr. Jordan. I do not wish to speak to you, let alone see you. If that was all…” 

“Wait!” he interrupted before she could disconnect the call. “I know I’m an asshole, but I can't not try. I know I don’t deserve your sister’s forgiveness, please Jade, just give me a chance to explain myself. I want Alexis to know the whole truth. When she has all the facts, she can decide for herself what she wants. If, after she knows everything, she doesn't want me in her life, you have my word, I will leave you and your family alone," Marcus pleaded with desperation.  

“Do you even know what you are asking, Mr. Jordan? Do you even realize you're asking me to betray Alexis? You didn’t just break Alexis’ heart, you crushed it and stomped it in the dirt. How can you expect me to come and talk to you?” Jade questioned furiously, lacking understanding. 

“Jade, I'm not asking you to do this for me, but for your sister. She deserves to know the whole truth and the reasons I did what I did. She won’t find peace if she doesn't understand, I need to clear the air,” he clarified, hoping his explanation would suffice. 

“You’re asking too much, Mr. Jordan. Do you even realize what you've done? She's devastated beyond measure,"  Jade retorted, clearly not convinced of his intentions. 

“I fucking love her. Believe me, I know I fucked up big time. I don’t deserve someone as pure and good as your sister, but I’m begging here, Jade!” he cried out, her coldness only amplifying his desperation. He needed a chance to explain. Alexis needed to know just how much she meant to him. She walked out before he had the chance to tell her how deep his feelings for her really were.

“You have a funny way of showing it,” Jade taunted, less detached than seconds before. “I honestly don’t know what to do here, Marcus. In my opinion, you’re lucky my sister didn’t send you to jail along with Peter. Criminal collaboration is a serious matter. My forgiving side tells me to hear you out, however, I sincerely doubt anything you say will change my opinion of you,” she went on.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me, Jade. I simply want a chance to explain my motives and tell your sister I love her. I know I wasn't the best at showing my emotions, but she means fucking everything to me. I'm absolutely miserable without her."

“You deserve everything that's happened, Marcus. Even if you didn't know the extent of Peter's treachery, working with him was a very big mistake. Keeping my sister in the dark only compounded the problem. If you would've told her about your duplicitous plans straight away, she might have at least listened to your explanation. She may or may not have forgiven you, I don't know. I do know one thing, she wouldn't have allowed her feelings for you to develop. You wouldn't have been able to break her heart because she would never have given you entrance to it.”

“I can’t begin to apologize enough for what I have done, but I promise you it was never my intention to hurt your sister. In some fucked up way, I was trying to protect her from myself. I have known all along that my betrayal would cut her deeply, but I didn’t realize I was making things worse by waiting,” Marcus trailed off, not knowing what else to say to convince Jade he was sincere about his feelings for Alexis. 

“You’re full of shit, Marcus. Meet me at Madison Square, seven PM. Don’t be late.” With that the line went death and the call disconnected. This victory should have been sweet, yet it only intensified his anxiety. If he fucked up tonight, he would lose Alexis for real. There was no way he could contact her without the help of her younger sister.

***

At seven PM sharp, Jade arrived at the prearranged spot. Marcus had arrived a half hour before they were due to meet, afraid of missing her. Knowing damn well this was his only chance, he was bound and determined not to fuck up again.  

“Can we go to some place quiet?” Marcus proposed as Jade came to stand next to him. She nodded her head once, her posture collected and fierce. Jade clearly wasn’t in a forgiving mood, which would make convincing her all the more tricky. 

They walked towards Central Park, their pace fast. Neither of them said a word to the other until they arrived at a serene spot without many spectators. Jade sat down on the nearest bench, impatiently stomping her foot against the concrete. 

“The clock starts now. I’m giving you ten minutes. My time is precious, so you need to get on with it,” Jade stated, pointing at her Rolex. Marcus resisted the urge to smile at her remark. Jade reminded him so much off Alexis, they were the most stubborn, pigheaded women he'd ever met.  

“Look Jade, I know you hate me and would just as soon eat dirt as talk to me, but please keep an open mind,” Marcus began, looking her straight in the eye. He needed to get a hold of this situation before he started begging like a pussy again. 

“You got that right. I’d much rather eat a pile of garbage than be here. Consider yourself lucky that I honor my promises and showed up,” Jade retorted, her face turning slightly red. 

“I want you to know that I love you sister very much. I haven't always shown her my true feeling. You have my word, I never meant to hurt her. I know I have and believe me, I feel terrible about that. I can't change the past, Jade, what's done is done. It doesn't even matter how bad I feel, it doesn't change what I've done,” Marcus explained, looking sorrowful. 

“I know that. It really doesn't matter what your intentions were, you broke Alexis' heart. You lied to her, deceiving her horribly. You knew the company is her life's blood. How could you hide some so monumental from her? How can you live with yourself knowing you ripped her to shreds?" Jade questioned, raising an eyebrow.  

“Peter told me all these stories, bad stories, about you and your family. I felt a loyalty to Peter and was blinded by that loyalty. I felt I needed to avenge the wrongs that had been done to him. All I wanted was for him to be proud of me. I thought I would accomplish that if I succeeded in taking down HEHG. I believed all of his stories and I learned to hate your family with a passion,” Marcus narrated. 

“Why are you telling me all of this?” Jade asked him, sounding bored. 

“Just listen, okay?” he told her. When she nodded, he went on with the story. “When I met Alexis and really got to know her, it made me question the veracity of Peter's claims. As cliché as it sounds, she made me see how wrong it was to only listen to Peter's side of the story. I soon realized I was probably hurting someone entirely innocent. I told Peter I didn't want to go through with the plans he concocted." 

“Alexis opened my eyes. Before I even realized what was happening, I had fallen in love with her. I wanted to tell her then that my intentions hadn’t commenced honorably, but our relationship was still so fragile. I didn’t want to lose her. I know it was incredibly selfish of me to keep the truth from her, but I honestly didn’t want to hurt her.”

As Marcus finished his speech, he looked at Jade. She didn’t say a word. He could tell she was trying to make sense of and process everything he'd thrown at her. Nervously he fiddled with the fabric of his shirt, his heart sinking with every second that passed. Jade was his last chance to reach out to Alexis and beg for her forgiveness. 

“I kind of understand what you did a little better than I did before, still that doesn't diminish how wrong you were not to tell her the truth, Marcus. How can I be sure you're not going to hurt her in the future?" Jade questioned, sounding a bit torn.

“You don’t. You will have to trust your gut. Either you take a chance and have some faith in me or you don't," Marcus complied. It was as simple as that. He could promise Jade till he was blue in the face. In the end, there was nothing solid to give her to prove that he wouldn't hurt Alexis in the future. 

“What have I gotten myself into?” Jade asked rhetorically, crying out in frustration and pulling at her hair. Hope started accumulating in his chest as he watched Jade stand up and begin to pace. She hadn’t thrown her purse at his head nor had she told him to take a hike like he’d expected. 

“I can’t believe I’m about to say this,” she mumbled under her breath as she turned around, clearly upset. “I will arrange a meeting between you and her. I won't tell her who she's meeting with. From then on, it up to you to try to win her back. Either you'll kiss and make up or she'll rip both our throats out," Jade stated.

Marcus sighed in relief. “Thank you for doing this, Jade. Thank you so much,” he said, wanting to pick her up and spin her around. The threat of a kick in the groin was the only thing that stopped that notion in its tracks.  

“Don’t thank me yet, mister. Besides, I’m not doing this for you. My sister deserves an explanation,” Jade said, rolling her eyes. “Now shoo. You already ruined twenty minutes of my evening. I will call you later.” 

Marcus laughed and nodded before turning around and making his way towards the park's exit. Their conversation went much better than he had anticipated. He could only pray that it hadn't been in vain. Convincing Jade was only a small obstacle in his mission. Convincing Alexis would be a much bigger challenge but he was determined to win her back.

***

“Jade, seriously, I don’t feel like going out today,” Alexis whined, shaking her head. These days she only left her apartment to go to work, otherwise she'd practically become a recluse, hiding from the outside world. She couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her apartment, afraid of having an emotional breakdown.   

She had become a shell of herself, no longer the strong, fierce woman who didn't let other's opinions sway her beliefs. Now, she was completely wrecked, barely taking care of herself, not eating, not sleeping, a shell of her former self. Her family was worried about her, she knew it to be true, but she couldn’t help herself. 

After years of being the untouchable ice queen, she finally let a man in, only to have him ruin her life. She was cursed, she had to be. Every time she thought she was on the cusp of winning the lottery, something always came along to muck things up, leaving her heartbroken. Life was cruel. How come everyone around her seemed so happy when she was so miserable? What had she ever done to deserve being on the receiving end of such misery? 

“Girl, you've been living like a hermit for nearly two months now. It's time for you to start living again. I know you're devastated by everything that went down with Marcus, but you've sulked for long enough now. I will no longer tolerate this behavior, lady!” Jade shouted, sounding more and more like their mother with each passing day. 

“You’re not my keeper,” Alex answered simply, stubbornly stomping her feet. Jade shook her head, annoyance written all over her features.

“I will not let you throw your life away because some asshole decided to screw you over. What happened to my big sister, that fiercely proud woman that I admire so much?” 

“She realized how fucked up her life is so she hid in the corner, never wanting to come out," Alex replied emotionlessly.

“You’re acting like a stubborn toddler, worse than a drama queen. Life doesn't end just because Marcus deceived you.” Alexis shook her head, a humorless laugh leaving her lips. Jade didn’t understand and probably never would. She felt like she'd been ripped apart, her insides twisted and burned. How did she move on when she gave her heart to the very man who ripped it from her chest?

“I’m not telling you to start dating again. I’m simply asking you to leave the house for one night,” Jade added, her voice softening as she watched her sister break down. “Hey, don’t cry now,” she said as she noticed a tear escaping Alexis’ eye. 

“I don’t know if I can,” Alex sobbed, feeling like a weakling. Urgh. She was crying over a man. Again. Long ago she promised herself that she'd never again lose herself to a man. What a massive failure that had been. 

It was now or never. “I will be there every step of the way,” Jade stubbornly insisted.  She had to convince Alexis to leave the apartment in order for her to meet up with 'that' man. 

“Where are we going?” Alex sighed, finally giving in. She didn’t like leaving her safe spot for even one minute, but understood where Jade was coming from. A breath of fresh air wouldn't hurt, plus the solitude was slowly choking life out of her.

“The Highline. Nothing is better for clearing your head than taking a walk across the Highline,” Jade clarified, sounding enthusiastic. Alex didn’t feel the same, but eventually decided the idea didn’t sound too bad. It was certainly a better option than going to a restaurant or shopping. A simple walk might actually feel refreshing. 

“Okay,” she replied slowly, a brief smile appearing when Jade cheerfully started to dance through the room. Gosh, she couldn’t believe she was doing this. It had been such a long time since she had been outdoors. 

“Let’s get you dressed properly,” Jade announced, giving her elder sister a once over. Alexis looked down at her outfit. She was currently wearing a grey sweatshirt and an old pair of yoga pants. 

“Add a shower to our to-do list. I’m sorry, sis, but you look horrible. Your hair looks like a rat's nest.” 

“Gee, thanks. You really know how to flatter a girl,” Alex replied sardonically. She hadn’t looked in the mirror for the past week, so she couldn’t exactly deny how she looked. She simply hadn’t felt the need to clean herself up.  

Jade took a step closer and shook her head in amusement. “When was the last time you even took a shower? You stink!” she exclaimed, not even hiding her disgust. 

“Okay, okay! I get it. Take a shower, get dressed and put on some makeup,” Alexis mentally listed. Jade nodded. “I’ll be ready in half an hour.” 

“Take as much time as you need!” Jade called out, but Alex had already disappeared into the bathroom. 

***

Two hours later, the two of them were strolling down the New York Highline. Birds were chirping cheerfully as the sun warmed Alexis’ pale skin, her tender flesh glowing. She inhaled deeply, immensely enjoying the amount of fresh air that filled her lungs. It had been too long since she’d been outside. She should have never locked herself away like that. It wasn’t healthy, not to her mind and certainly not to her body. 

“Let’s sit down for a moment,” Jade proposed, suddenly interrupting her peaceful bubble, pointing to a bench a few feet away. Alex nodded and walked closer to the wooden seat. 

“Thank you for pushing me to go out for a while. I might not show it, but I appreciate your concern. I needed this,” Alexis stated, thankful to have such an amazing family. She didn’t know what she would have done without her sisters by her side.

“It’s in the job description, sis. I’m not doing anything special,” Jade replied, shaking her head as she patted her sister on the back.

“It is special, Jade. Not everyone would do this for a sibling. You’ve always been there for me when I needed you most. I honestly can’t thank you enough for not giving up on me,” Alexis clarified seriously.  

“I wouldn’t have changed a thing,” Jade smiled brightly, wrapping her arm across Alex’ shoulder, pulling her closer. “I want to see you happy, sis. You deserve it more than anyone I know,” she added softly. Alexis nodded and attempted to give her sister the broadest smile she could muster. 

She wanted the exact same thing for her