Dedicated to _Mylifeisfiction_ for the cute drawing at the top, thank you so much💖💖

Chapter Thirty-Six: "Everything."

I'M NOT EVEN SURE how long we've been driving but I needed to stretch my legs fast. All I know is that the sun wasn't even on the verge of coming up yet. It was still dark and I was too lazy to check the time on my phone. It was freezing enough and I although the heater was on in the car, I kept my hands shoved in the pockets of my jacket.

"Why the hell are we doing this?" I grumbled, my eyes ahead of us as Sam drove along the road.

The entire drive had been quiet and tense, the complete opposite of how I usually felt whenever I was around Sam. I looked down at Soccer on my lap, sound asleep and wishing that I felt the need to sleep. Sam knocking on my dorm room rid me of sleepiness.

"We haven't spoken properly in weeks. We only got to see each other once in the past weeks and when we did it was off. We're not like we used to be."

Leaning my head against the window, I glance at him out of the corner of my eyes. He looked so tired but determined to get to his old town. He looked determined for us to work things out.

I've been feeling like an emotional wreck and seeing Sam focus like this, not even touching me but his presence alerting me that he wanted this to work made tears prick from my eyes.

My vision blurred as I looked outside, noticing how the scenery changed so many times over the hours. I took a bite out of the Pop-Tart wishing I had a toaster but now I didn't care, taking a bite out of it anyway.

"I want us to be..."

"Be together again?" I asked, my voice a little hoarse because I was speaking normally for the first time in what may be hours. "To be Macy and Sam?" 

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "To be us."

So his choice was clear.

"Why Bath?" I asked him a couple minutes after peaceful silence.

Sam slowed at a stop light, looking at me with tired eyes. "I just wanted us to get away. I know you're supposed to have work today and-"

"I know Zach can take my shift for me. Don't worry about it."

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright."

"You didn't have any test today, did you?"

"Not that I know of. Although, I'm certain that I have practice one day this weekend."

"Same."

"One day of missing university isn't going to kill you, is it?"

"No. The TA can just send me the things. But missing soccer practice is definitely going kill me."

"I'll explain it to your coach."

I stared at Sam. "What are you going to tell him? That you pulled your girlfriend out of her room and took her on a road trip to your hometown because we've been having issues?"

"I didn't pull you out of your room," He rolled his eyes. "You know lying can work too, right?"

I licked my lips, sighing. "Just continue explaining why we're going to Bath."

Sam took a deep breath, starting to drive again when the light turned green. "I thought that we should get a weekend away from everyone. No Matteo, No Alexis, no friends from home or from here, not media not even football. Just us. Alone time. I want to tell you when we get there."

"You're going to tell me your decision."

"Sure, my decision." He muttered.

"What does that mean?"

I knew what that meant though.

"It means that I will tell you when we get to Bath."

As demanding as he sounded the idea of being away from everyone was relaxing to me. Very relaxing. The air between us doesn't feel as suffocated as it was moments ago. I took a deep breath, my hands fiddling with my camera on my lap.

I leaned my head on the window, my eyes are the old buildings we passed. Buildings that had the architecture of so long ago, that possibly held so much history. "How long until?"

"Minutes. It's about four hours from Bath to Manchester."

My jaw dropped as I looked around. The sun was finally creeping its way through the sky and the moon was on the other side as the morning started.  "We've been driving for four hours?"

"When your mind is occupied with thoughts, it doesn't feel as long." Sam's hand gripped on the steering wheel and minutes later I heard him mumble. "Welcome to Bath Hazel."

He called me Hazel and I knew that we might be okay.

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Soccer was awake as we drove through the city. His eyes were looking on the scenery around like mine were. I don't think I've moved my camera from my eye since we entered the town. The buildings were so different I had to stop myself from telling Sam to pull over so I could take pictures of everything I saw.

Then a thought hit my mind and I put my camera down, looking at Sam. "Tell me."

"We aren't there yet." Sam mumbled, eyes focused on the road.

"You said when we get to Bath. We're in Bath." I pointed out.

Sam's eyes flickered over to me. "There wasn't really a decision. It's you. It's always has and is going to be you. You said it yourself. You're not going to be an option and I never thought of you as an option. The only issue was me having to let someone I called my friend go."

I slouched in my seat, playing with the strap of my seatbelt. "It sucked, didn't it?"

"Before I met you, Caleb was my only friend in town. I've known Alexis longer. I've known her since I was five because my grandmother used to baby sit Emma when she was younger. So, when I learned what she had been saying to you, what she thought about me, it was hard to realize it. She was one of my greatest friends and it was just tough to let go."

"Is that why you were with her the other day?" I asked quietly, 

"Let me guess? Matteo told you?" The way Sam said that let me know he didn't say it out of jealously but because he was really asking if Matteo showed me due to his love for celebrities.

"Yeah."

"She told me everything."

"Everything?"

I could hear Sam sigh as he took a left onto the next street, crossing over a large bridge. Before I knew it, the window moved down and my camera was already held into focus to take pictures of the view of the lake as we moved by. I put my camera down, letting the cold air hit my face and Soccer barked in my lap before settling and nudging my arm.

Sam rolled the window back up with the button on his side. "Everything. She told me how she felt about me and you were right."

"What was I right about?"

"That I always knew it but I just didn't want to believe it, I didn't want to lose a friend and that day I finally did. And when she tried to kiss me-"

"She tried to kiss you?" I asked and Soccer perked his head up on my lap.

"Emphasis on tried," Sam glanced at me briefly before focusing on the road. "And after I rejected her it was like everything she's been holding back for so long came out of her mouth."

"Everything?"

"Everything. She's been in love with me for almost three years. More than that. And I feel like I caused this because of one night that I claimed to be unimportant and it meant everything to her. I thought that we had an understanding. That it was a onetime thing that would never to happen again and we could go back to normal. I didn't realize I was playing with myself when I wasn't noticing or caring about how she was feeling after we had sex. If I could take that night back I would."

"What happened after she told you?"

"She started saying things about you. Things I don't even want to say out loud because I stopped her from even going on. I couldn't stand to look at her. Imagine someone you think you've known for years can talk so much shit- shit that isn't even true about someone's who is so important to you. I could believe it. And I realized that it's not like she's in love with me, it's more like she was-"

"Obsessed with you?" I suggested.

"Exactly." He sighed. "It was so weird. It's like in a split-second I saw her true colors and a part feels like I inflicted it upon her."

I took his hand, the one that wasn't on the steering wheel. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," He said quickly, squeezing my hand in return and I felt a rush of relief at the action. "I should be saying sorry for not seeing this fast enough. For letting her make you feel like you were doubting our relationship."

I kept quiet, staring him because I felt like he had more to say.

"And I'm sorry I didn't come to your game yesterday."

"Sam-"

"I was going to. I really was."

"No, I shouldn't have expected you to come. We were on a break and that included not going to one another games."

"I wouldn't have cared if we were on a break or not. It was your game and we have been talking but I would never miss one of your games. I was at an interview with some of the members on my team. Derek probably forgot to mention it to you. I just couldn't get out of it and it took longer than we hoped it would."

"It's okay."

"Did you actually think I wouldn't try to come just because we were on a break?" I almost rolled my eyes when I saw that smirk appear on his face and I felt a sense of normalcy between us. "Babe, I'm Sam Cahill. When do I follow the rules?"

I shook my head, hiding my smile by looking at the window.

"Me not coming to your game might be okay with you but imagine the conversation I had with Andrew when he called me."

"He called you?" My eyes widened. Why the heck would he do that?

Sam sighed, pulling up to a parking lot and parked the car. "So, imagine how I felt when he told me that you were crying. And I went to bed thinking that 'no, that's not possible. It's you.' And I packed, told Peter I was going away for the weekend in the middle of the night to which he almost slapped me for waking him up and then I went to you."

"Sam..."

"And I'm sorry. I'm sorry it took so long. I'm sorry you saw those pictures and if you saw what happened after you probably would have seen Alexis with a pissed off look on her face. I'm sorry for not trusting you with Matteo."

"So, you admit that you didn't trust me with my friend."

"I admit that after thinking about it, it was really stupid. It was stupid for me to think that I should have a problem with you being friends with other guys here in England. I was just being ignorant. I do trust you and if it'll make you feel better I'll put away my pride and actually hang out with the guy if you want me to."

"Really?" I stared at him if he was serious.

"Yeah." He nodded truthfully.

"Okay, but no competitions."

"Got it." He winked and I laughed, running hand over Soccer's smooth fur. He was looking up at me with his adorable eyes when I spoke. 

"You keep saying sorry like you're the only one in the wrong here."

Sam looked at me confused. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I don't-A part of me was jealous of you and Alexis."

"You had no reason to be."

"It's just-she's known you for a long time-"

"Time means nothing. We've only known each other for over a year yet it feels like we've known each other forever. You've known Maddy for a couple of months but we both know how great of a friend she is to you. And to me. But I know there's a part of you that even though you dislike Alexis you still want her to be a part of my life because she was my friend, don't you?"

"Oddly."

"She told me that you were ruining the picture. That you didn't belong there. That was the dumbest thing I have ever heard someone tell me about our relationship. She was trying to ruin us by getting under your skin Macy. Like I said, as hard as it was, I had to let her go. She getting between us and I couldn't do that to you, I couldn't do that to me- to us."

Soccer barked again in my lap and nudged his nose against my fingers. I looked down at him. "What did you tell her?"

"I told her that I wasn't in love with her and I couldn't be friends with her if she kept doing this to us-to you and me," Sam bit his lip, leaning his head back on the seat.

"And then she left?"

"And then she left." He said. "I felt bad that she had this attachment to me. I can only really hope for her to move on eventually."

I reached up, my hand tangling itself in his hair as I ran through the locks on his head. He grabbed my other hand. "You know I'm in love with you right? Just you."

"I know." A smile came to my face. "Although I don't say it often, I'm in love with you too. Only you."

"Are we okay?" Sam asked me.

"I think so." I said, pulling his hand so he leaned towards me.

He covered my mouth with his in a hungry kiss, as if he waited a long time to touch me. His fingers dug into my hair and due to my seatbelt I couldn't get into a comfortable position but I didn't care. I responded immediately, tilting my head as he deepened it almost showing me how much he missed me.

The movement of Soccer on my lap got me to break away first, panting and feel slightly warm despite how cold it was outside of the car. "Um."

Sam laughed quietly. "There's a bakery up front. I'll get something for us to eat, I'll be right back."

"Okay." I said and he got out of the car. I looked down at Soccer who was already staring up at me. "Buddy, you have no idea how much I missed that idiot."   

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My eyes were wide, staring up at the castle at the end of the long road. I knew the Cahill's lived in a bigger house than they had back home but I didn't expect this. It looked like something straight out of the history books, something that kings and queens lived in centuries ago.

"This place is so big. You didn't tell me that you actually lived in a huge castle!" I exclaimed, turning to look at Sam. 

"I swear I told you."

"No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did." He laughed. "My dad's family has lived here for so long. As the first born he inherited it and the family company which Ivan is about to take over."

"Wow." I said, sticking my head out of the window to look at the land.

"Right on your left is the forest where people like Ivan used to get lost in all the time." Sam laughed at the memory and a smile was brought to my face at the sound. The trees blurred by, all tall and grown with frost decorating the tips.

"Really?"

"Yeah," He glanced at me as he continued driving up the long road. "I'll take you there later on though. On your left here is the Cahill cemetery."

I turned to my left to see the graveyard that spread out, organizing the tombstones in proper order. I licked my lips, glancing at him. "She's there?"

"Yeah." He nodded, keeping his eyes straight on the house in front.

I kept looking, sticking my head out the window and looking back at the view. "This is insane."

"Yeah, it really is." He said, eyes on the castle in front of us as we continued driving up the pathway. When he drove up to the front of the house, he parked the car and got out. Before I could even get out, Sam went to the other side opening the door for me and Soccer jumped out the second it opened.

He grabbed Soccer before he could run off. Soccer licked Sam's cheek and I stifled my laughter when Sam cringed then smiled. He held out a hand. "C'mon Hazel. Let's go."

And without any hesitation I took his hand.

---

I update stories that feel like updating, the stories I'm motivated to write. I'm flattered to the roof that many of you want me to update. But then there are the people that make it extreme and make it seem like I don't like writing this book in particular and that I put it off on purpose. Like hello? Where on earth did it say that I didn't like writing a story with a character I related to for majority of my life? Where? Oh, that's right! NOWHERE.

And the funny part is that I got an offer with Radish months ago to put this story on there.

I could've.

I would've.

But then I started thinking about how you guys would have to wait a month for me to update next-not a week, or two weeks, or three weeks-A MONTH. And if you would have wanted to read it early, you would have had to pay.

But guess what people? I DIDN'T. TO THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK WHO CAN HEAR ME- I DIDN'T!!!

But seeing messages that tell me oh update this book, not the other one. Or oh you updated one book but you couldn't update this one? Or generalized messages such as 'we didn't need an update for that book, we wanted an update for this one'...okay, but I did I ask you on which book- me the author- wanted to update.

LOL.

No.

It lowkey makes me wish I could've just taken the deal with Radish and YO I STILL CAN BUT I'M HOLDING BACK FOR YOU ALL.

*sighs* I should start a rant book.

Anyway, rant over. Love you all anyway!

-nikki ✨