oh boy

The scorching sun rays pierced through the thin curtains. as he took each breath the humidity captured his lungs like a flame. he got up off of the floor and looked around, his white button down, dirty and clinging to his body with every bead of sweat in his being.

Phil walked around putting his sunglasses on trying to recuperate while looking for any sign of a memory.

he heard a sharp thud and looked behind him to find alan rolling over on the floor. his shaved head looked up at him and started to gather his thoughts.

he got up and walked to him. "phil" he sighed "i think it happened again"

phil turned around. "alan what the fuck did you do?" he seethed looking him up and down.

"i didn't do anything i swear" his puffy eyes gazed for some recognition. he rubbed his face and looked behind him. "where are they"

phil shoved past him and turned the corner harshly. "babe? stu? doug?" he entered the bathroom to find stu knocked out, yet again pantsless, in the tub.

he hit his shoulder to wake him up. "stu wake up we got a situation" stu turned over slowly trying to acclimate but at the same time revealing an identical mike tyson tattoo on his face.

"holy shit." phil slapped his hand against his mouth in shock. "okay stu you're gonna freak out, but everything's gonna be okay i promise." stu got up out of the tub and stumbled to the mirror and to his horror revealed the new permanent marking.

"what the fuck!" he breathed heavily. "what the fuck is going on, where are we? where's doug"

alan walked in the room. "more importantly, where's liv?" he crossed his arms and suddenly a monkey fell on stu's shoulders and bonked him on the head.

he screamed and threw his head around trying to get it off. the monkey jumped on to the shower curtain rack and chirped. the boys stepped back to look at it while making sure it wasn't going to try anything else.

"phil?" they heard someone from the other room and they ran towards the sound. phil darted into the next room to find olivia on the couch with blood starting to crust around her forehead.

"oh baby are you okay?" he ran over to her cradling her in his arms. he brushed the hair out of her face and she felt around her head feeling the blood. she slowly tried to sit up and the boys examined her trying to determine what happened.

"my head fucking hurts" she strained her eyes and phil took off his sunglasses and put them on her. "what the hell happened" she looked to stu.

he was rubbing the area of his face with the new tattoo and she noticed it. "holy shit hon. your face"

"yeah i know my face damn it" he rolled his eyes and noticed her outfit. "what are you wearing"

it definitely wasn't the dress she had on last night. it seemed to be a pair of men's boxers and a black sports bra. "i uh" she examined herself. "i don't know"

"who's are those" alan asked touching the boxers she was wearing.

"they're mine i'm trying a new style." she sat up straight and gave phil his glasses back rubbing his face and thanking him for the gesture.

"really?" alan wondered.

"no dipshit, i have no idea" liv glared at him and looked back down to her legs, which seemed to have bruises on them. "uh oh" she looked at her husband. "phil" she traced the marks on her legs showing him what she meant.

"fuck liv, whats that from?"

"you hopefully" she whined hoping it wasn't something super serious.

he chuckled and licked his lips. "yeah buddy" he put his hands behind his head and laid back before she slapped his exposed stomach.

"i'm serious, if it's not from you phil that means it's from someone else." his smile faltered and he sat forward.

alan had been admiring something he had found on the ground and poking at it. liv got up to go to the bathroom and was suprised when she walked through the door. "well hello" she said reaching her hand out to the monkey.

the monkey puttered and sweetly climbed onto her shoulder. "aww" she said laughing. olivia walked over to the mirror to look at her forehead. phil walked in as she admired the gash. she got a towel and found the water not to be working but proceeded to clean it anyway with what she could.

"honey be careful with the monkey, we don't know where it came from."

"he likes me" she said scratching its chin.

just then a phone rang and olivia scrambled to get it as fast as she could. she turned to phil picking up the phone. "doug isn't here is he?" she asked.

"yeah how did you-

"he's my brother i would know if he was here or not- Doug?" the dial tone stopped. "doug?"

"hey livvy"

"oh Doug thank God!" she sighed in relief grabbing phil's arm.

"what's up? where are you guys?"

"i don't fucking know dude. i'm pretty sure we are in a random city. definitely not where we're supposed to be right now but who cares about us are you okay?"

"yeah yeah i'm back at the hotel eating breakfast. is teddy with you guys? no one can find him."

"teddy?" phil walked, looking around the room. "no i don't think he's-

"AAGGHH" Phil yelled throwing something across the room.

"hold on doug" she covered the phone with her hand. "the hell was that?" she stared at phil.

"i just found teddys finger" he breathed. he didn't want to stress out but he also at this point didn't have a single fucking clue what to do.

"shit" she whispered. she held the phone back up to her ear astonished. "yeah um, he's probably fine, we'll find him."

"so you don't know where he is?"

"it's fine doug, don't worry." she looked at phil. "listen i gotta go, i'll call you if we figure something out okay, just keep this on the down low for now alright."

"will do. be safe okay?"

"i will"

"okay i love you, bye."

"love you too" she hung up the phone in utter shock. "what do we do?"

a loud couple of bangs and thuds were heard from the room behind them. they rushed out to find a man, mr chow, to be naked in the living room laughing with alan.

stu watched as they walked out of the bathroom to gauge their reaction. "i guess we know who's underwear your wearing liv" stu laughed.

"mr chow?" phil questioned.

mr chow stumbled to his feet and laughed abruptly. "that's not mine girly. you know i go commando." he pulled some jeans on and found a button up on the couch where liv was laying.

the monkey climbed off her shoulders onto the chair next to her. "chow what happened"

"you guys texted me said you fucked up looking to party." he smiled. and sat down next to the monkey grabbing a bag off the table. "i picked you up in my boat, we came to bangkok and we had a sick night bitches"

"woah woah woah, we're in Bangkok?" phil stuttered.

"yeah we party all night with little kid, he so fucking crazy" he lined a bump on his hand and snorted hit. chow immediately fell on the table unconscious.

"oh shit" Stu said reaching over to him. he felt his pulse and looked up dazed. "fuck" he paused starting to breathe quick. "he's dead" he started to panic and got up.

"well that was unexpected." olivia said unfazed. "who knew with all the drugs and alcohol in his system, that he wasn't a healthy guy"

alan looked at her teary eyed. "hey! he ate his vegetables"

she patted his shoulder. "i'm sure he did al. not as much as he ate some ass if you know what i'm sayin"

"liv this isn't funny we need to call an ambulance" stu paced around.

"stu this guy tried to kill us. and when we show up in an unfamiliar area yet again with no memory of last night and he just happens to be here too i would maybe start to think that he's not the best guy to have around." she stood up looking for some shoes.

"he's dead." alan cried even louder.

"would you stop it!" phil yelled.

"no shit sherlock, im just saying he can't ruin our lives anymore."

"but he probably knows- knew where teddy is"

"who cares, we found doug before then we can find teddy. would you relax" she picked up some black converse she found behind a closet door, assuming they were hers.

stu walked right up to her. "you need to be more worried about this" he pointed a finger at her. "he's your brother in law too"

she looked at him and her stare turned into a sympathetic gaze. "we'll find him stu."

phil put his hand to his sweaty forehead. "we need to get rid of this body." he gestured to chow and turned around to look at his wife. "honey, why don't you give doug another call and try to figure out who's boxers those are and we will deal with this."

she nodded. "you sure these aren't yours?"

"yeah i don't wear those. i'm a briefs kinda guy, you know this." he kissed her on the head and tried to lead the other two boys with the chow situation.

liv grabbed the phone and the monkey and walked into the other room. "hey doug"

-

After dealing with chow and finding out that teddy was with the police, they wandered around Bangkok to the station. bustling around them were annoyed groups hurrying to places and shoving their way through the streets.

They had stopped to find alan a hat and something to drink in which naturally he found a bag of fanta, to his enjoyment.

stu put his arm around olivia for balance after throwing up in a basket. "you okay bud?" she asked as the monkey jumped from her shoulder to phil's.

"who's underwear is that" he wondered looking at them.

phil walked closer to the pair. "i was wondering the same thing cause whoever it was probably saw you naked."

"guys if i knew i would tell you." she leaned back and grabbed alan's arm stopping him in his tracks as she took a sip from his fanta. he smiled. "and phil i'm sure it was you."

"babe do you want a shirt or something" he looked at her black sports bra and started to unbutton his shirt. "you're getting about one too many looks for my liking"

she looked around and then put her hand on his chest as they walked to stop him from removing his clothes, as enjoyable as that would be. "i'll find something later, we don't have time for that right now."

"fine" he grabbed her stomach and held her close as they walked through the busy city trying to slyly keep her away from prying eyes. being in such close proximity to so many people was not helping the fact that it was 112°

-

they sat in the scorching heat, each displaying a different posture of discomfort. they shifted uncomfortably in their seats, waiting for answers. and when phil walked back to them and nodded his head while smiling, they knew they were in the clear.

the rays of the sun bled through the prison windows. creaks of metal could be heard as the bars of a cell were opened. a guard and a strange old man rolled out on a wheelchair.

"here he is" the guard said, sliding the chair to the group of individuals. they stuttered in disbelief. stu stepped up. "oh no excuse me sir, this is the wrong guy- you've got the wrong guy. we came for a Teddy Srisai. do you have him"

the short fused guard rolled his eyes and pulled out some cards. he held up teddys ID and gym membership card. "this is him, we found these in his pockets." the older gentleman didn't say a word while the officer proceeded to give the cards to Stu. he examined them. "does this look like him?" he asked rhetorically.

alan slurped up the last of his fanta and looked at liv who was sitting next to him, letting the other men deal with todays issues. "guess teddy's gone"

"you really don't like him do you." she asked and he shook his head. "no i get it."

"you do?"

"yeah of course. new people are scary" she smiled at him.

"this is why we are best friends" he put his arm on the head rest behind her and crumbed up the bag.

"so i guess we have an old man now huh." olivia stood up walking behind phil. she grabbed hold of his arm and she could feel his tense, worry in the way his muscles spasmed when she touched him. he turned around to acknowledge her.

she held his arm and phil continued to try and help stu reason with this officer. olivia watched and noticed that they really didn't get a say in the matter and now they were stuck with a random elderly gentleman, who apparently took an oath at a young age to not speak. ever. which was a huge help.

he grinned at her in a face of what seemed to be remembrance. she tilted her head. "guys i think he knows us"

the boys peered at the way the man examined her. it was in a gentle manor and he just smiled.

Stu continued to look through the stack of cards given to him by the other unhelpful man. he pulled one specifically out of the pile. "guys this is a drink card, from the white lion. does that sound familiar."

phil gave him a pat on the back. "it's worth a shot"

this was one of my favorite dialogues to write. hope you guys enjoyed!!