I woke up early this morning. I couldn't sleep. It was only 4am and one of the worst days of my life exactly 3 years ago. The day Audrey died.

Losing someone was the hardest thing I've ever gone through, especially since it was the only person who understood me. Who knew how to heal a brokenheart, or what dress looked better, what shoes I should wear, if i've eaten that day, or even just saying the right words when I needed to hear them.

Audrey and I first met in kindergarten and since then we'd been best friends for years and years. We were inseparable since the day we met. We would stay at each others house every other day. Some people would even assume we were sisters because we hung out all the time.

She was my platonic soulmate and there's not a day that goes by that I don't think of her.

I needed to clear my head. I tiptoed into Toppers room where he laid fast asleep and took a larger hoodie from his closet. It smelled of fresh linen and cologne.

Once I was out of his room, I carefully made my way downstairs and grabbed my moms car keys from the kitchen counter. Then locked the front door.

My favorite part about the Outer Banks was the ocean and how peaceful it was when no one was there. I didn't have to hear people yelling, kids screaming or whining, dogs barking, it was just quiet.

I got to the beach and pulled into the empty parking lot. I grabbed my backpack that had a blanket and coffee.

I walked through the hard sand and found the perfect spot. I opened the blanket and neatly dropped it onto the ground and sat down. I already felt a relief once I started walking on the sand.

"Do you usually come sit on the beach at night alone?" I turned my head around revealing the last person I would've thought to come to the beach.

"Rafe? What are you doing here?" I watched as he stood beside me and then proceeded to plop down on my blanket.

"Just...I don't know. I couldn't sleep." He shrugged.

"Oh." I looked back out at the ocean.

"Why are you out here?" He asked.

"I couldn't sleep. And also....it's the anniversary of Audrey's death." I sighed.

"Oh."

I stayed silent not sure of if I should carry on or just go home and sulk in my room but part of me wanted to talk about it to feel better. "I remember the exact day she died. I was here visiting Topper and my aunt. The last thing I ever said to her was 'I wish you could come'. I feel guilty, like there was something I could've done to convince her parents to let her come with me but they didn't. She would still be alive if she just would've come."

Rafe's eyes squinted like he wanted to say something to comfort me, but couldn't find the right words to say. "I'm sorry."

"No you don't have to be sorry." I looked at him still holding my legs to my chest.

"N-no not just for that but for making you drink." He stumbled on his words. "I made you drink."

"No Rafe you didn't. I did it on my own. You didn't force me. Even though the one thing that took a toll on me was alcohol, it doesn't mean I can't enjoy it anymore. It was just a coping mechanism. I've learned to control my intake so don't blame yourself." I gently placed my hand on his.

"I'm sorry for kissing you." Rafe blurted out.

Truth was, I didn't mind Rafe kissing me. I knew it was wrong to feel that way and would tear Zach apart if he found out but it felt good to be with someone and always having some sort of adventure. Rafe wasn't like Zach.

"Rafe, I already said it didn't mean anything." I took my hand off of his.

"Not a single spark?" I knew he was trying to joke around but I didn't feel like laughing or even smiling.

I shrugged my shoulders. "None. It was just a kiss."

Rafe looked at me turning my face towards his with his fingers gently resting on my jaw. My heart was racing and I felt the same butterflies I felt when he first kissed me. Our lips collided and fit perfectly like a puzzle. My body found its way closer to his as I found his hand trailing to the small of my back.

He carefully slid me onto his lap so I was straddling him. The sun started to rise and the birds chirped as our not so meaningless kiss turned into a makeout session.

He rolled us over and laid me down on the blanket. His body hovered over mine with his face close to mine. He leaned down getting closer to my neck and started to kiss my jaw and neck. I felt like my body was exploding. Everytime I felt his lips touch my skin, I instantly felt warm and fuzzy.

He paused and went back to kissing me. I slipped his shirt off as his hand trailed down my waist. We were both breathing heavy. I helped him unbutton his shorts as a smirk was spread across his face.

His chest puffed from his heavy breathing. "A-are you sure?" His words stuttered. Was I sure?

I looked into his blue eyes. The same blue eyes I couldn't help but stare at everytime I was with him. I bit my lip and nodded. Rafe's head leaned down as he raised my shirt revealing my bare stomach and kissed every inch.

"HEY! You two! What do you think you're doing?" Security.

"Oh my god." I pushed Rafe off of me and tossed him his shirt. "Hurry! Go! Go!" I laughed as we took off running to my moms car. I couldn't stop laughing once we got in the car. My laughter shortly turned into crying. I don't know what came over me but I couldn't stop.

Rafe leaned over the middle console and wrapped his arms around me as I cried into his shoulder. "Hey...it's okay. I got you alright?"

I almost had sex with Rafe Cameron.