FOR THOSE WHO WANTED KAZUHA POV, IT IS HERE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!
*Kazuha POV*
During the whole lunch, I felt like Scaramouche was preoccupied by something. I can't say I know what it is, since I just met him, but he isn't usually like this.
It makes me want to ask him about it, but I don't want to recreate the same events as the last lunch we had.
He looks like the kind of person that shows one side of himself only as a defence mechanism. But then again, I can't say I'm sure. I don't know him too well.
The bento I brought with me today didn't look as elegant as usual. My job really drains most of my energy and time. Still, that's what my parents want. I'm in no position to be against them.
Actually...
Scaramouche did ask me if I was okay. Maybe he's worried about how I'm doing?
I didn't think I acted in a different way today. Maybe I'm just really obvious and I suck at lying?
I took a bite of the eggs in my plate, but felt like spitting them out.
They tasted really awful. I screwed them up.
"Here. It can help, maybe."
Scaramouche handed me a bottle of juice.
"Won't you drink it?"
"No, I don't like juice that much."
I took the bottle and drank some as fast as possible. The taste of the eggs eventually faded.
"Ugh, this lunch is done for..."
"Wait, I think I have something in here."
Scaramouche took out a plastic bag with a sandwich and some crackers in it.
"My mother thinks I have a big appetite, which I don't, so she makes spare lunches and things like that. You should take it."
"No way, I won't take your lunchโ"
"First of all, I already ate. Second of all, I wouldn't want you faint in class or something because you're too hungry."
Why is he helping me out so much?
No, it's not that he's helping.
It's that he cares about me.
When was the last time I knew someone who actually cared for me?
There was Gorou, but I transferred at the demand of my parents. That was years ago. And even before, there was Tomo...
I think he's the reason my parents started being so harsh on me.
"Thank you."
When talking to Scaramouche, I feel the same way as when I talked to Tomo. As if what I'm saying and doing is forbidden. But also the care I showed Tomo...
Oh please, I don't want it to happen again.
I felt like tearing up. As much as it hurt to realize, it was worse to actually feel like that.
"Kazuha, are you okay?"
Scaramouche had a worried look on his face. I felt like crying. Actually, maybe I was crying.
Before being able to embarrass myself, Scaramouche picked up our lunch bags and dragged me outside the school. There was a small spot, a bench, behind some trees. He got me on the bench and sat besides me.
I didn't want to show him my weaknesses, my vulnerable side. I wanted him to think of me as someone strong who can handle pressure and school and work and relationships all at the same moment.
But I easily realized it wasn't possible to be perfectly balanced.
When he saw I stopped crying, he brushed my hair. I looked at him, he was smiling and he was handing me a handkerchief.
"I really knew it. When you're feeling down, you need to talk about it to someone. It doesn't have to be with me though, I know you probably don't trust me much since we just met."
"A-actually, I'd prefer talking about it with you. I don't trust my parents enough with those matters."
Scaramouche had a surprised look on his face. As if he didn't believe me.
But I was honest. I couldn't risk talking to my family.
"So..."
"What happened?"
I used the handkerchief to dry my tears and started talking.
"I'm not ready to talk about every single detail, but I think you need to know a bit more about my family and I."
"You know, Kazuha, when you'll be older, we hope you will continue the Kaedehara bloodline."
When my father told me this, I was in my first year of middle school. Maybe they thought it was better to talk to me about it earlier.
"Why is it so necessary?", I asked him.
"The Kaedehara family is one of the most renowned in the region. I wouldn't like if all of your ancestors' efforts were unnecessary. That's why you must have at least one boy. One boy to uphold our family's name."
"Why a boy, though?"
"If you have a son, he'll be able to continue the family with the Kaedehara name. If you have a daughter, though, her husband's name will be the one of their child."
That is the question I never should've asked. The face my father did when he heard me... I swear he thought about killing me.
He got up and gave me a sinister smile.
"I think that's enough questions for today, alright?"
He brushed my hair with his hand and I left.
Well, I left after he told me one single thing.
"You know, you should start searching for an ideal partner, now. I assigned you to a workplace, you shall work there and make contact with the ladies. If you find one that you are interested in, start dating her. That's the only hope you have of marrying the partner of your choice."
"My life changed in an instant. I wouldn't have any choices now. My parents were the one taking control of my life and I wouldn't be allowed making my own choices now. When a problem occurred, my parents made me switch schools. It happened quite frequently, too. These last few days, I've felt very anxious and unbalanced. I guess you could say I would like to spend more time around you than working."
Scaramouche looked at the horizon. I know it may seem as if he didn't listen, but he did. I'm sure of it.
"You know, parents are here to guide their children in their childhood. When they reach a certain age though..."
"...their children have the choice of living life like they want it. If you have a dream in life, you should just listen to your inner voice. Don't let anyone stop you."
"Y-yeah, you're right."
If I did go against my parents, I think they would make me transfer schools again. I don't even have anywhere to go if I'm in trouble or I run away from home.
"Also, if you feel like running away or cutting ties with your family, you can come over to my place. My mother wouldn't mind and I don't think her girlfriend would, either."
"Oh..."
He really is trying to help me out. I should count on him more.
"Thank you, Scara. I will when the time comes."
"No worries. All I wish is that you're feeling better now."
I only just realized that the sky became darker. I felt little droplets falling on my hair and face.
"Looks like it's gonna rain. We should get inside and finish our lunch.", concluded Scaramouche.
"Yes, let's go then."
Scaramouche dragged me to the school. Problem is, the door didn't open.
He kept knocking on the door, but no one noticed.
"Since when do they lock the doors during lunch...?"
I swiftly looked over to my phone and saw the time. We're too late to class. Well, we still have 5 minutes.
"Classes are going to start."
"Oh shoot, my mom's gonna kill me."
Scaramouche looked surprised when saying this sentence. I don't know why, only he did.
The rain started falling ever faster than usual. We're gonna be soaked.
Scaramouche decided to take off his jacket and he put it on my head.
"I don't mind being wet, but I wouldn't like for you to catch a cold."
That stupid smile.
I swear, I would do anything for him to smile like that all the time.
I'm scared that I'm falling for him. I'm scared that I'll have to isolate myself from him in order to keep him safe.
But I know I'm already falling in love with him. So, when the time comes...
...I hope Scaramouche will be there to free me from this cage I live in.
Helloooooo~ people!
Finished this chapter rather fast and I GOT SOME INSPIRATION BACK~!! I'm really happy about how this is turning out (and happy I won't kill a character yet since this is modern times AU).
Also felt happy writing in Kazuha perspective but idk if I'm good at it? I feel like I can relate to the side of Scaramouche I call Kunikuzushi so it feels easier to write when in his perspective but Kazuha's... hard, kinda. Maybe bc he doesn't have enough screentime? (same with Scara but let's not talk about that~)
Anyways, hope you all enjoy!
Until next chapter~
-Author-chan
20th of February, 2022
(1594 words)
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