FILMED BEFORE A LIFE STUDIO AUDIENCE 

        CALLISTA walked into the kitchen that her and wanda shared, reading the newspaper. she was about to head off to work, dressed in her best blazer and skirt. she noticed wanda drying the dishes, and tried to put a dish on the dish rack, but callista blocked it before it hit her head, holding out her hand. the dish shattered at callista's touch. 

        callista looked up at wanda, who had a faint smile on her face. "my wife and her flying saucers," callista joked. 

        wanda shook her head, laughing. "my wife and her indestructible hands." callista walked closer over to wanda, leaning against the counter. 

        "aren't we a fine pair?" callista asked, in a good mood. wanda laughed and put the broken plate that was on the floor back together. 

        "what do you say to silver dollar pancakes, crispy hash browns, bacon, eggs, freshly squeezed orange juice, and black coffee." wanda asked, opening the fridge. 

       "i'd say we have no food in the house right now and i'm not hungry at the moment," callista replied. 

        "well that explains the empty refrigerator," wanda examined, making callista laugh at her wife. wanda closed the refrigerator back up, and smiled at her wife. callista noticed the heart on the calendar. 

        "wanda?" callista asked. 

        "hmm?" wanda replied. callista walked closer to the calendar. 

        "is there anything special about today?" callista questioned, putting her newspaper down on the little table in the corner of the kitchen. 

        "well, i know the apron is a bit much, dear, but i am doing my best to blend in," wanda replied, walking closer to callista. 

        "i mean, there's a mark on the calendar," callista made her statement more clear, pointing to the calendar. the two walked up to the calendar, so they could see it clearly. "someone's drawn a little heart right above today's date." 

        "oh yes, the heart," wanda said, confused on what it meant. wanda turned around to face her wife. "well, don't tell me you have forgotten, cal." 

        "forgotten? i usually never forget things, i wonder what it means." callista sighed, thinking for a minute. 

        wanda put her hands on her hips. "well, then tell me what's so important about today's date." wanda smiled, but sounded serious. 

        callista thought for another moment, but couldn't think straight. "what was the question again?" callista asked, trying to cover up the fact that she didn't know. wanda's eyes widened, and callista turned away from the girl, walking around. "oh well, perhaps we've both forgotten." 

        "me? heavens no, i've been so looking forward to it!" wanda lied, not knowing what the heart meant. 

         "i have too. today we are celebrating.." callista wasn't able to finish her sentence, still completely clueless. 

        callista leaned over the counter, wanda on the other side. "you bet we are," wanda smirked. "it's the first time we-" wanda stopped herself, not knowing how to finish the sentence. she finally thought of something. "-have ever celebrated this occasion before." 

        "it's a special day!" callista cheered.

         "perhaps an evening," wanda added. 

         "of something great!" 

        "to us both!" 

        "of course," callista finished, smiling. 

        "exactly," wanda sighed, then leaning in for a kiss. callista let a soft peck on wanda's lips before pulling away. 

        "all right," callista let put, grabbing her purse on the counter. "i'm off to work, then." callista grabbed her light jacket, and blew a kiss to wanda. 

        "have a great day hon!" wanda cheered. 

         callista smiled. "you too dear," she said, and she was out the door, on her way to work. 

***

        the radio played in the background at callista's office, as she was inputting numbers on her typewriter as fast as she could. the super soldier serum made everything she did much faster, but she tried to conceal them, not going the fastest that she can. 

or you don't go out friday night
yakety yak!
you just put on your coat and hat

        the typewriter dinged, showing that callista was done on what she was working on. she took the paper out and stood up quickly, flattening out her skirt. she put the piece of paper in a filing folder, and picked up a whole stack of them. "here are those forms you asked for, norm." callista said, as she put the pile on the desk next to her, where norm sat. "there you go." 

        norm looked amazed, and looked up, making eye contact with callista. "gee willikers, that was fast!" norm exclaimed. "hey, the music isn't bothering you, is it?" 

        "no, not at all, play whatever you would like!" callista put a huge smile on her face. callista continued to think about what was on her calendar earlier that morning and what they actually did at their job. 

        norm stood up to stand next to the girl. "is there something i could help you with, callista?" norm asked, in a friendly way. 

        "actually, there is. could you tell me what exactly we do here?" callista asked, confused out of her mind. "do we make something?" 

        "no," norm replied, a smile on his face. 

        "okay, do we buy or sell something?" callista continued. 

        "no and no." 

        "then what do we do at this company?" callista asked, not having a clue. 

        "all i know is, since you've gotten here, productivity has gone up three-hundred percent." norm smiled. 

        callista picked up one of the files, and started to go through it. "but what are we producing?" 

        "computational forms. and no one can process the data quite like you do. it's like you have superpowers!" norm exclaimed. 

        callista put down the file and faced norm. "what? i most certainly do not!" callista covered herself up quickly. "i'm a woman who just knows how to get the job done fast!" callista turned around, looking a little offended. 

         "hey! what's got your feathers all ruffled?" norm asked, curiously. 

        callista sighed and turned back to face norm. "i'm sorry, just something going on at home." callista told the man, sitting down on her desk. "apparently, there's something special about today, special to wanda, wanda is my wife. i can't remember at all on what it is." callista exclaimed, fiddling with her fingers. 

        the office door opened, making callista and norm jump and sit back in their seats. callista continued to work, not wanting any suspicion to come onto her. 

        "good to see you," mr. hart, the boss said to someone who walked out of his office. mr. hart walked up to callista's desk. "callista."

        "yes?" callista asked, stopping what she was doing and looking up at her boss. 

        "my wife and i are looking forward to this evening." mr. hart said sternly. 

        it then all clicked for callista. the heart on the calendar meant that her boss was coming over. "mr. hart, of course!" callista exclaimed out loud, not meaning to. she got up from her desk to face the man. "dinner with mr. hart and his wife, mrs. hart." 

        "that's what i just said. what's wrong with you?" mr. hart asked. "you got a screw loose?" 

        "no sir, everything is alright. screw's on tightly." callista laughed. 

        "yes, i should hope so. employee dinners are a rite of passage for the new hires." mr. hart continued on. callista put her hands on her hips. "jones over there failed miserably." mr. hart ushered over to the man who had a box of stuff in his hands, looking like he was leaving the building. "isn't that right jones?" 

         "the wife thought five courses would be sufficient." the man replied. 

        "and there was that paltry excuse for entertainment." mr. hart added. 

        "a string quartet?" 

        callista was getting uncomfortable with the conversation. "and then you had that embarrassing display of beatnik enthusiasm." mr. hart carried on. 

        "i wore a turtleneck," jones exclaimed, before walking out of the room. 

        callista sat back in her chair, facing her desk. "you know, i owe my success to being a keen judge of character. no skeletons in your closet, eh, callista?" 

        "no, definitely not sir." callista replied, smiling. 

        "glad to hear it. your future in this company depends on it." mr. hart walked away, and callista put her hands in her head, hoping to make a good impression at the dinner later that night. 

        callista picked up the phone on her desk, and dialed their house number. she put the phone up to her ear, hoping wanda would pick up. "maximoff-barnes residence!" a voice rang out through the phone. wanda's.

        "wanda, darling," callista whisper-panicked through the phone. 

        "callista, so lovely to hear your voice!" wanda said, cheerfully though the phone. 

        "listen, about tonight-" callista started, but was cut off by wanda. 

        "don't worry cal, i have everything under control." 

        callista sighed, while she fiddled with the phone chord in her hand. "oh, well that is a relief. i must say, i'm sorta nervous." 

        "nervous? whatever for?" 

        "you know wanda, i get nervous on big occasions like this," callista replied, assuring her wife. 

        "callista, after all this time." 

        "there's a lot depending on tonight, wanda. if tonight doesn't go as planned, this might be the end." callista said through the phone, sternly. 

        "well, it's just one night. there's no need to get dramatic." 

        "i think the best thing to do is impress the wife," callista explained to wanda. 

        "and i think the best course of action is to impress the husband of this relationship."

        callista smiled. "that's great! it's great to know we're on the same page. i'll see you tonight love." 

        "until tonight." 

        callista hung up the phone and sat back in her chair. "well, i think that went well," she sighed in relief to herself. 

***

        "here we are!" callista exclaimed, as she opened her front door for mr. and mrs. hart. the two walked in, and callista noticed all of the candles and the dimmed lights. 

        "oh!" mrs. hart let out. "how very atmospheric!" callista closed the door, and took a deep breath. 

        "what's going on here, callista? you blow a fuse?" mr. hart asked. 

        callista nervously laughed. "give me a minute and i'll just go and find my wife wanda." callista walked into the kitchen, looking throughout the room. she walked out, seeing wanda in a silky dress, covering mr. harts eyes with her hands. 

        "guess who?" wanda seductively said. 

        "wanda!" callista shouted. 

        wanda turned her head quickly, seeing her wife standing near the doorframe. "callista!" she gasped, noticing that she wasn't covering callista's eyes, but an older man's. she quickly pulled them off, and put them by her sides. 

        mr. hart turned around to face wanda, concerned by the way that callista's wife had acted and how she was dressed. wanda tried to cover up her cleavage with her arms, embarrassed. "what is the meaning of this?" mr. hart asked, upset. 

        "well, wha-what is, yeah what is the meaning of-" callista started, before making up a lie. "oh the meaning of it! the meaning of that is this is the traditional sokovian greeting!" wanda walked up to her wife, and callista covered wanda's eyes. "uh- guess who?" 

        "is that my host behind me?" wanda played along. 

        callista uncovered wanda's eyes and smiled. "it is!" wanda then took callista's hand, shaking it. 

        "lovely to meet your acquaintance!" wanda continued. 

        "yes!" callista chuckled. "see, i forgot to tell you my wife is from europe." callista told mr. and mrs. hart, as her and wanda held hands. 

        "oh, how exotic!" mrs. hart said, trying to be friendly. 

        "we don't break bread with bolsheviks." mr. hart told callista sternly. 

        "oh, hush arthur!" mrs. hart scolded the man. "have you no culture at all." mrs. hart chuckled. she then turned to wanda. "and that dress-"

        "yes, it's so.. sokovian!" callista added, looking at wanda from head to toe. 

        wanda let go of callista's hand, and headed towards the kitchen. "can i see you in the kitchen for a little bit, cal?" wanda asked, motioning callista over to her.

        "oh, yes!" callista said, before she had time to process what had just happened.

        wanda and callista got into the kitchen, and the door closed. "who are those people?" wanda asked, worryingly. 

        "first of all, what are you wearing?!" callista whisper-shouted. 

        "why are they here?" 

        "what are you wearing?" callista repeated, her tone lower. 

        "well, it's our anniversary!" wanda exclaimed. 

        callista had a confused look on her face. "our anniversary of what?" 

        "well if you don't know i'm not going to tell you!" wanda fumed, walking to the other side of the kitchen. 

        "the man in  the living room is my boss, mr. hart! and his wife mrs. hart!" callista explained to wanda, pointing to the shutters. "the heart on the calendar was supposed to mean hart, my boss!" 

         "well i'm sorry i didn't know that! you should've remembered too!" wanda fussed, walking closer to callista. 

        "wanda listen, i love the candles, the music, that beautiful outfit. but right now-" callista started. 

        "your boss and his wife are expecting a home-cooked meal." wanda cut her off. 

        "exactly." 

         wanda sighed in distress. she then looked at the strawberry on the table. "any chance they would settle for a chocolate-covered strawberry split four ways?" wanda asked. callista gave her a disapproving look, before wanda brought something else up. "i may have a better idea." 

        wanda snapped her fingers, and her white silky dress transformed into a outing dress with a bow at her chest. "great! i'll go back into the other room and distract them!" callista sighed, walking out of the kitchen. 

***

        "so i said if we orient the forms horizontally rather than vertically, we can use twice the peper, we can bill twice the cost." mr. hart explained to callista, as them and mrs. hart sat on the couch. 

        callista started to laugh, not really knowing if she should or not. "you really are a pioneer. but the purpose of the forms is-" callista said, not knowing what to add. 

        "was to analyze our input and our output." mr. hart added. 

        "hmm," callista let out. 

        "you're awfully dense, aren't you callista?" mr. hart insulted the woman. a loud bang came from the kitchen, and callista sprang up off of her seat and headed towards the kitchen. 

        "do you think wanda needs help in the kitchen?" mrs. hart asked, also getting up from her seat. "we haven't any tidbits or tardets out here." 

        callista turned around to face the older lady, and shook her head no. "that is so nice of you mrs. hart, but i'm sure that wanda is doing just fine in the kitchen!" callista told the woman, yelling the last part so wanda could hear. 

        callista ushered mrs. hart back to the couch, and sat down with the two. the clattering started up again, and mrs. hart got up again. "you two stay put. i sense a domestic emergency so-"

        "mrs. hart, if i could kindly ask you not to do that!" callista exclaimed, getting up from her seat. mrs. hart opened the shutters, and callista didn't know what to do, so she started to sing. 

        "so kiss me once then kiss me twice then kiss me once again!" callista sang, making mr. and mrs. hart turn to the woman. the shutters were open, revealing wanda making dinner, all of the pots and pans floating in the air. "it's been a long, long time!"  wanda gave her wife a weird look, and callista continued to sing. "haven't felt like this before since way back when. it's been a long, long time!" mrs. hart smiled at the music, and wanda closed the shutters back up with her powers.

        callista chuckled nervously, afraid since her and wanda's secret had almost been exposed. "what if we all sing a song together, it would be fun!" callista brought up, still trying to distract the two. she grabbed the little ukulele that was right on the ground next to her and smiled. 

        callista sat down on the couch next to mr. hart, and mrs. hart sat next to her. she started to strum to the song. "old macdonald had a farm."  

        "ee-i-ee-i-o!" mrs. hart sang along. 

        callista continued to strum while she sang. "and on that farm he had a-" she stopped, turning to mr. hart to sing along. mr. hart stared callista down, and didn't answer. "pig," callista answered glumly for him.

        "ee-i-ee-i-o!" callista and mrs. hart sang at the same time. 

        "with a-" 

        "oink-oink."

        "here and a-" 

        "oink-oink."

          "there."

         "here an oink, there an oink." 

        "everywhere an oink-oink!" the two sang together. "old macdonald had a farm, ee-i-ee-i-o." 

        "daniel!" wanda yelled, cutting off callista and mrs. hart. 

        "yes?" callista yelled, as she stopped strumming. "oh, that must be wanda calling for me."

        "she calls you daniel?" mr. hart asked, clearly annoyed. 

        "yes, it's her pet name for me." callista lied to mr. hart. "i'm just coming, fred!" callista yelled out to wanda. callista got up from the couch. "excuse me a moment." callista rushed into the kitchen, opening the door. 

        wanda had a lobster floating, and gasped, thinking it was mrs. hart. "oh no!" wanda exclaimed, throwing the lobster out the window. 

        callista ran over to where wanda threw the lobster out of the window, and turned to her wife. "how could i help you?" callista asked. 

        "well, the chicken is no longer a chicken and the lobsters just flew the coop, so the steak is the last man standing." wanda rambled, running over to the stove. callista walked over, standing on the opposite side. wanda picked up the card with the recipe on it, and started to read it. "it says here i can cut down the prep time with a meat