I. SCARAMOUCHE

Someone who wishes to be wanted is wanted by no one. At least, not anymore.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, YOU WORTHLESS-"

The rest of her words were muffled by the slamming of a door as Scaramouche stormed outside, gritting his teeth and pressing his palms to his eyes in an attempt to stop any tears from falling. The only thing that could've made the situation more depressing was rain. Still, it was dark and the stars shined in the sky. He glanced up at them, wondering why they would put him in such a situation. They smiled, as if they were showing him a happiness that he himself could not reach. The stars were making fun of him, and this was precisely why he hated them.

Suddenly, his phone chimed and he furrowed his eyebrows as he dug it out of his pocket, looking to see who messaged him.

Y/n♡
Hey, can you come over...?

He blinked away the tears in his eyes to read it properly. He was thankful; maybe the sky didn't hate him after all.

⊱✿⊰

He picked up a pebble from your yard and hurled it up to your window to let you know he was there. It wasn't the first time he'd done this, but you seemed amused by it the first time, so he decided to try again. He knew he was right when you opened the window with a tiny smile tugging at your lips. It wasn't too visible from where he stood, but when he looked closer, it was clear to see.

"Really?" You asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yep. You comin' down or what?" He smirked, tossing another pebble up in the air and catching it.

You nodded and left the window, making sure to close it first. Seeing that you left, he walked around the house to meet you at the front door. He clicked his tongue rhythmically as he waited for you until you exited  the house.

"Took you long enough," he said.

"Shut up, I took two seconds," you rolled your eyes in amusement.

He decided to take you to a nearby park, where his aunt used to play with him when no one else would. They always had to go once it was already dark, though, since none of the other kids liked him and any time he approached them, they'd either ignore him or hit him. So every weekend, he and Makoto would go together. He wasn't sure if you'd been to that park before, but he wanted to share it with you. He doubted he'd get the words out to tell you, though. Still, it made him a little happier to see you grin and jump onto one of the swings. He sat on the one beside you and looked over to identify how you were feeling through your facial expressions.

"Anything on your mind?" He asked.

You sighed, "I was just thinking about my dad."

Based on how you said those words, he suspected you told him and it slipped his mind. He felt guilty, and also confused how he could forget something that seemed so important to you. He thought hard about it until he realized.

"I'm fine, I was just... thinking about family stuff."

"Like what?"

"Um... Well, my dad left when I was little. Mainly that."

"Do you... wanna talk about it?" He offered. He had his own troubles with both his parents, and it was a bit painful to know you were going through the same thing. He was still bitter that he never had anyone to talk to about his distress.

"Not really," you shrugged. "Just frustrates me that he didn't even tell me he was gonna leave. He just walked out the door and poof, gone."

He could definitely understand that sentiment. He figured you wanted a distraction instead, so an idea popped into his head.

"Well, I know how I can cheer you up."

"And how's that?"

He stood up and moved in front of you, causing you to stand as well. He wrapped one arm around your waist, pulling your body against his. He enjoyed the feeling of your warmth, it almost caused him to smile genuinely. Instead, his lips formed a mischievous grin to hide his true feelings as he spoke his next words.

"How about I tire you out so you can rest easy?"

He really didn't plan on having sex with you that night, but he knew it probably came off that way. He got a bit carried away in the moment. The way you kissed him as if he were your whole world made him crave more. He was glad you stopped him before he hurt you.

⊱✿⊰

He was scared of the fact that he loved you, so he always did things in hopes that you'd break up with him since he couldn't do it himself. He talked to other people and made it fairly obvious, he insulted you or gave you backhanded compliments, he ignored you, etc. But nothing was working. When he realized how broken you were, to stay in a relationship with him, he decided that he needed to break things off.

He chose to do this at the party, where he knew Mona would be attending. His plan was to introduce you to her and say that Mona was the reason he was leaving you. He didn't want to admit that it was because he was a coward.

When you got into his car, he turned his head to avoid you seeing him blush. You looked gorgeous. You weren't too dressed up, since that would be odd considering the type of party you were attending, but it was clear you tried at least a little. And it was more than enough; you were naturally beautiful.

"You look nice," you said, causing more warmth to rise in his skin.

"Thanks," he choked out.

He was too nervous to say anything for the rest of the ride. The anxiety was like a pool of acid melting his stomach even more with each passing moment. He didn't want to break up with you, but he knew it'd be the best thing to do. Especially for you. He knew he couldn't give you the love you seemed to need. He shouldn't have asked you out in the first place.

"Whose house is this?" You asked once you were both in the building with the other drunk teenagers.

"Not sure," he lied, glancing around the room to find Mona. He didn't want you to meet her before he talked to her in private. He also knew that it was Yoimiya's house, but he wasn't sure how you'd feel if you found out you weren't invited to your own classmate's party when pretty much everyone else was.

"Of course..."

After a while, he still couldn't find Mona, so he decided to check on the second floor. 

"I'm gonna go find a friend, I'll see you later," he said, hoping you'd stay in your spot long enough for him to find you again.

"Wait!" He felt your fingertips graze his hand, but he forced himself forward and left.

Eventually, he did find Mona and she was as annoying as ever.

"Excuse me? So you've been using me so you can break up with your girlfriend!?" She exclaimed.

"Yeah."

She scoffed, "I knew I shouldn't have associated with you. You're such a pig. I'm not doing anything for you, leave me be!"

"Mona, I need-"

"No."

He sighed, "If you won't do it for me, at least do it for her."

She stared at him for a minute, in shock from his words, "I don't even know her. Besides, you really can't do it on your own? You're a coward. If you truly care about her, then you'll break up with her yourself and tell her the truth."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can. You have a mouth. Go talk. Shoo."

She turned him around and pushed him out of the room, almost causing him to trip until he caught his balance. 

"Fine..." He mumbled.

He scoured the entire house to find you, but to no avail. You were nowhere. He was starting to panic; he didn't want you walking home so late. He tried not to think of the things that could've happened to you. But he couldn't stop himself, and he started to hyperventilate. All he could think of was what happened to Makoto, and he desperately didn't want the same fate to come to you. He called you multiple times, and when you finally picked up, he was relieved to hear your voice.

But...

"What do you want!?" You groaned.

"Y/n, where the hell are you? I can't find you anywhere," he demanded, trying to steady his breathing so his worry wouldn't be so obvious.

"I left! Ha! How does it feel?! I left you this time!" You cackled.

Is she drunk...? He thought, though he didn't mention it. Even worse, you were alone at night and vulnerable.

"You left? Why?!" He asked, rushing out the front door to get away from all the noise.

"Because I'm not a party person and I didn't know anyone there!" You snapped. "Don't worry, someone better is taking me home!"

Someone better... 

"Are you serious? Y/n-"

And you hung up.

⊱✿⊰

He had no idea if you were actually with someone who'd take care of you, but he hoped so. He also hoped that was your way of breaking up with him. When he returned home that night, he did what he usually did. He turned on the shower and got in, sitting on the floor of it and thinking about everything. Having the water cascade down his body helped him focus, and it also assisted him in feeling. He had a hard time letting himself connect to his emotions on a normal basis, but for some reason, being in the shower aided him. Maybe it was because he couldn't feel the difference between his tears and the water.

Thought #1. Someone better.

He was face to face with the fact that you hated him. There was venom in your words, and it stung, but he deserved it. He was aware that he deserved it, and it made him hate himself even more. He hoped 'someone' would treat you better than he did.

Thought #2. Makoto

Makoto was everything to him. It was mainly a bunch of little things; going to the park at night to play, slipping kind notes and sweets into his lunches when Ei wasn't looking, or remembering his birthday when no one else did. She even tried to throw him a surprise party once, but no one showed up.

"I wonder what you would think of me now..." He whispered, his voice on the edge of breaking.

Thought #3. The way she died.

Makoto was murdered. A young woman, by herself in the middle of the night, was brutally murdered. She'd done nothing wrong; in fact, she did everything right. So why did the gods decide this fate for her? This is what caused Kunikuzushi's resentment toward the stars.

He had nightmares often because of her death. Of course, he wasn't present for her killing, but he always imagined how it went and each time, the picture was more cruel than the last. While his conscious mind showed his thoughts in still images, his dreams were a different story. And the worst part was his inability to move; every night, he was forced to witness Makoto's death right in front of him, but he could never do anything. Just like reality, he was helpless.

With the only person who loved him dead, he closed himself off and it made him scared. After all, she was the only one he loved as well. And she ended up dead. He was still a child when it happened, so some part of his brain told him that it was his fault for loving her.

Kunikuzushi never wanted to love again. But his wishes were denied, so all he could do was sob and hope that you were alive.