shinsou and i exchanged texts over the last few days. as december closed in, so did the party his mom was hosting.

in anticipation for the celebration, i frequented many stores looking for a present to give shinsou. i spent plenty of time up and down aisles but still couldn't find out what to buy him. it wasn't until i tagged along with my mom someplace to get one of her necklaces fixed that i figured out what i was going to give shinsou.

-

"are you sure you put all the presents in the car? you can't forget the one we got for dosei." my mom rushed downstairs.

"that one was in your closet, mom. i didn't go in there to check."

my mom turned back on the stairs while i headed out to the car. like she had told me, i checked to make sure all of the gifts were in the back of the car.

"mom!" i called from outside, seeing as she was already coming out of the house, locking it behind her. "hurry, we're going to be late. i don't know why you take hours to get ready, mom."

"i'm going, i'm going! now hurry up and start the car, girl."

-

"you're pretty dressed up tonight."

i glanced down at my mom. we had just run the doorbell. "mom, it's a party."

"i'm just saying. you rarely want to come to these things at hoshi's place. you leave for another semester at Yuuei and when you come back, boom, you're buddy buddy with someone you said you hated back in high school. and not to mention how you went out with him, at night."

i refrained from rolling my eyes at her. "mom, you're rambling. and plus, you spent all my childhood telling me to be friends with him and now that i am, you're questioning it?"

my mom became quiet for a moment and before she could respond, the door opened.

"hi, mai! come on in, hoshi's in the kitchen." a woman with dark red hair answered the door, i was entranced by the long ringlets her hair created.

"hi, i haven't seen you in forever. where have you been?" my mom swept the lady off in a flurry of conversation, leaving me behind.

i sighed, glad to see my mom was still as friendly as she was before i left for Yuuei. i closed the door behind me and wandered into the house, it's layout all foreign to me.

"y/n?"

to my right was a little boy, one i recognized to be tai.

"hey, tai. you look good, buddy."

the boy did a spin, nearly toppling himself over. "did you see that! i call it a ninja spin, what do you think?"

"wow, tai. you spun so fast, i could barely see you. it was awesome." i held out my hand to the boy, he slapped his smaller hand into my palm.

"i'm going to go find my friends, do you want to come?" the boy beamed with energy.

"i should go find your mom, kid. but i'll come back and find you once i'm done with that, okay?"

"okay!" tai bounded off to some corner of the house.

and like i said, i did try to make my way into the kitchen, where the lady mentioned hoshi was.

there was a cluster of people in different rooms of the house, they all seemed to be certain groups. with the kids all entertaining themselves in a separate room to a group of teens talking in another.

after a minute of searching, i managed to find the kitchen but there was no hoshi there. i sighed, wishing i had tagged along with my mom or at least followed from a distance.

"hey, pretty girl."

the greeting was welcomed now more than ever. shinsou made his way into the kitchen, carrying dosei on his hip.

"hey," seeing shinsou was calming, for some odd reason, and the nerves about being in his house dissipated temporarily. shinsou pressed a kiss against the top of my cheekbone before pointing out the kitchen.

"as much as i would love to keep you all to myself, my mom's looking for you in the backyard."

"ah," i nodded my head and was about to make my way to where i thought the backyard was but i decided against it. "uh, can you..."

a chuckle escaped the boy, low yet soft. "of course. here, follow me."

it wasn't that we couldn't hold hands, we weren't some silly lovestruck high schoolers after all, but our mothers were known to gossip and who knows what they'd come up with.

so in hope to minimize their suspicions, shinsou linked his pinky with mine and guided me.

i tried to commit the walk to the backyard to memory, in case i ever came back to shinsou's house. after walking through a glass sliding door, i immediately heard my name being called.

"y/n! get over here, honey."

hoshi was by my mom's side and was waving from a table surrounded by food.

"hi, hoshi." i greeted, noticing that shinsou had dropped his hand away from my own. it stung for a moment until he placed it on the small of my back, pushing me towards his mom.

"i'm so glad you could make it, doll. hitoshi here wouldn't stop asking when your mom was going to get here. let me know if he bothers you, hitoshi asking about you could only mean bad news." hoshi whispered the last part to me.

"thank you, hoshi, but i promise hitoshi has been a good host so far."

"mom, please don't talk shit about me to my-" the boy bit his tongue as his mom raised a neatly trimmed eyebrow.

"to a friend of mine." shinsou decided.

"it's my job to warn people about you, hitoshi. now, get your sister inside, i don't want her to catch a cold. y/n, do you want anything to eat, dear?"

"yes, please." i answered, grabbing a plate from the table in front of me.

"y/n, you can give your bag to hitoshi. he can take it inside while you eat, that way you're not carrying it all night."

"yeah, i can take it. i'm already heading back inside."

"um," hoshi had sprung the advice out of nowhere, "alright." i turned to hand my bag to shinsou.

through the exchange, shinsou snuck a quick kiss from me, laughing as he saw my eyes grow wide. slightly worried, i glanced back at our moms to see if they had seen anything only to find them huddled close and pointing at something (or someone) off in the distance.

"sorry," he said through snickers, "i couldn't help it."

the proximity of his whisper sent shivers down my spine.

"stop bothering y/n, hitoshi."

"yeah, yeah, mom." the boy waved her off, then he met my eyes. "come find me when you're done, okay?"

i nodded my head, no words for the boy as he dismissed himself with a wink.

"you okay, y/n?" my mom asked cashing me to snap my eyes away from the boy's retreating figure.

"yeah, i'm good."

-

i had found shinsou in the waiting room; it had been turned into a playroom, littered with toys belonging to both tai and dosei.

i plopped down on a couch close to the two boys in there. upon closer inspection, i realized shinsou was working on some sort of puzzle with tai.

we made small conversation, tai doing the most talking between shinsou and i, excitedly listing off all of the bug facts he had accumulated over the break.

"wow, i did not know that, tai. how do you know all these facts?" i asked, in awe after tai had informed us that grasshoppers had existed before dinosaurs.

tai shrugged, placing a puzzle piece down. "i don't know, hitoshi told me i had a big head so maybe i have a big brain."

"i did not say that, tai."

"did too. you said i looked like a praying mantis."

i shot a look at hitoshi, he replied with a sheepish smile.

"don't listen to hitoshi, tai. he's just upset he can't remember facts like that." i told the little boy. he smiled and went back to his bug facts while trying to finish his puzzle.

"are you going to the winter resort this year?" shinsou queried after tai quieted down.

"um, i'm not sure. mina mentioned it but i don't know if she's going, you know?"

shinsou raised an eyebrow at me, "and you'd only go with mina?"

"no, no! that's not what i'm saying. i mean if you wanted, we could go together." i waved my hands in the air like a lunatic.

"i was joking, y/n, but i would like to go to the resort with you. if you wanted."

i squinted at shinsou, he was sneaky for turning the decision to me.

"i'd like that, hitoshi. let's go together."

the boy grinned at me before turning back to the puzzle.

-

the number of party guests started to dwindle down a little while past midnight. a few, which i guess had been family to the shinsou's, came into the waiting room to say bye to tai and hitoshi.

i waved awkwardly to a few who acknowledged me in the room too.

tai had suggested we watched a movie, it was one about ants rebelling against grasshoppers or something.

the younger boy watched from the floor while shinsou and i took the couch. i tried to convince tai to join us on the couch but he said he preferred the floor.

a good thirty minutes into the movie, a ladybug who was actually a man confronting some flies on screen, shinsou absentmindedly began fiddling with the hem of my dress, fingers caressing my thighs.

the touch was innocent, no evidence of a lustful motive behind it as he laughed at a misunderstanding between the bugs in the movie, but it made it hard for me to focus.

i shifted slightly, trying to pay attention but getting distracted with tai's giggles coming from the floor.

"you okay?" shinsou whispered, eyes peeling away from the screen, opting to watch me instead.

"yeah, i'm fine." i simply nodded.

a moment of silence passed between us, an ant asking a crew of bugs for their help in the movie, before shinsou spoke up again.

"here, let's get you out of those clothes." shinsou suggested casually as he got up from the couch and i felt my face burn in response.

"hitoshi!" i turned away from the boy, "how can you go around saying things like that? your brother's right there." i whispered the last bit.

shinsou stared at me confused but then he realized, "i didn't mean it like that, pretty girl." he laughed and i watched as his shoulders shook with humor. "i just meant that you'd be more comfortable if you weren't in those clothes. come on, i'll lend you some."

shinsou tugged on my hand to encourage me to follow him down the lengths of his house. i could count the amount of times i had been there on one hand so i definitely needed his leading.

we went upstairs and went down a dark hall, shinsou didn't bother to turn on the light. at the end of the hall was a door and shinsou turned the doorknob to open his door before flicking on the switch on the side of the wall.

illuminated by lights that he had just powered on, shinsou room fell into view and i took a moment to take it in.

it was clearly a room that housed a young adult at some point and a teen at an even further point. similar to the few things i had left in my room, shinsou had a few drawers with clothes and littered on top of those were picture frames alongside other trinkets.

shinsou went to rummage through a drawer of his, pulling out articles of clothing.

"there's a bathroom right here to your left," shinsou pointed across the room before handing me the clothes.

"let me know if you need anything else, okay?" he gazed down at me before placing a kiss on my forehead.

i nodded and opened the door to his bathroom, locking the door behind me before shimmying out of the dress i was wearing. i put the shirt on first, noticing that it smelled like shinsou, and after i hopped into the sweats, i made use of the drawstrings to make sure they wouldn't be slipping.

i collected my dress from off the floor, folding it before i clicked the door's lock again and opened it.

shinsou was waiting outside, sitting on his bed and scrolling through his phone, he lifted his head at the sound of the door opening.

"hey, where can i put this?" i asked, shaking the dress in my hands.

"oh," shinsou got up from his position. "just place it on top one of the drawers. there should be space on top of one of them."

like he directed, i did find a space to place my dress but on top of the drawer, a photo caught my eye.

"this photo," i whispered to myself before grabbing it and turning to shinsou. "where was this photo taken?"

shinsou lifted his head and squinted at the frame. the boy looked slightly flustered upon recognizing it. "oh, um, i took it with a couple of friends after a performance at our high school. it was the summer after we graduated."

the scenery in the photo was too familiar, i know i had done a performance there that same summer.

"you went to school performances?"

shinsou ran a hand through his hair, "normally, i didn't really bother. but a few of my friends had convinced me. the one of the right actually had a crush on one of your dancemates so he wanted to go."

i put the picture back down before joining shinsou on his bed.

"i had seen you perform a few times before that, mostly because my mom dragged me along when she went with your mom but this time i went because i wanted to see you."

there was a prolonged moment of silence after shinsou admitted that. we both waited for the other to speak up, but shinsou was the first to. "at that point, i had decided to ignore all of our history and just see your performance. you became a different person when you performed and i enjoyed seeing you like that."

it was an intimate topic and i understood our precaution around it. "i didn't know that."

shinsou laughed quietly, "of course you didn't, pretty girl. it would've hurt my ego if you ever found out."

"but you're telling me now," i pointed out.

"that's because," shinsou cupped my hands in his own before kissing them, "things are different now, right?"

i stared up at the boy, "right."

a smile bloomed across shinsou's face. "god, you're so pretty."

at his compliment, i pulled the boy down for a kiss, feeling him smile into it.

"before i forget, we should exchange presents."

shinsou hopped off his bed and opened the closet door. he reached into the storage area on top and pulled down a present.

"oh, right. i left mine downstairs, i'll be right back."

"wait!" shinsou exclaimed before i stepped out of his room. the volume of his exclamation shocking me a bit.

"what happened?" i asked, watching as shinsou padded across the room towards me.

"you look so, so good in my clothes." he cupped my face, making my heart swoon with his soft kisses.

"jeez, hitoshi. you nearly gave me a heart attack." i claimed dramatically before heading downstairs.

when i returned from fetching my gift, shinsou was waiting by his window, cool air blowing into the room.

"what's up with the window?"

"come on," shinsou waved me over, "let's open the presents on the roof."

"on the roof?!"

"yeah, don't worry. i've done this a million times before." shinsou's experience didn't scare me, it was the fact that i had never done that.

"hey," shinsou pulled me out of my worry. "i won't let you fall. okay, pretty girl?"

i nodded hesitantly, but i trusted shinsou. "okay."

the boy guided me out of his window out onto the small incline of the roof below it. he told me where to put my feet and how to push up from the incline all while holding my hand to keep me balanced. as i made it to the roof, i sat as still as possible to reduce my chances of falling off.

i watched as shinsou lifted himself up with ease and then came face to face with me. "okay, now, we have to scoot over to the middle of the roof so we don't immediately fall. is that okay?"

the soothing tone in which shinsou spoke reassured me more than the idea of not falling but i, again, let him tell me where to make my way over to. he stayed close, hands out and ready to catch me if i slipped.

we settled down on the roof, why we couldn't just open them in his room like normal people was beyond me too.

"okay, who goes first?" shinsou prompted.

"oh, right. do you want to go first? or do you want me to?"

"hmm, something tells me i should go first. but that means you have to have the better present." shinsou joked but it only worried me, i hoped he was okay with the present i got him.

"alright, here you go." shinsou handed me a box, wrapped in intricate paper, tied with a neat bow.

with wary fingers, i untied the bow and set the ribbon aside. following that, i teared through the wrapping paper. i placed the paper to my right, hoping it wouldn't tumble down the roof.

the present was in a cardboard box and i gently lifted the top open. surrounded by bubble wrap was a reflective music box, with intricate designs i could only just begin to see.

i removed it from the wrap and lifted its lid. a soft melody carried into the stillness of the night and i knew its tune was familiar, i had heard it somewhere.

just as i remembered where it was from, shinsou spoke up. "it's the song from your solo, from earlier in july. it was your first solo at Yuuei and i thought you might want to keep some sort of memory from it."

my heart skipped some sort of beat, stomach fluttering.

"thank you," i whispered, holding the gift closely and kissing the boy.

"i'm glad you like it." shinsou spoke into the kiss.

pulling away, i fumbled out shinsou's own gift. it was a smaller box, wrapped in navy blue paper.

i handed it to shinsou and watched as the boy unwrapped the gift.

as the boy took the top off the box, i bit my lip in anticipation. shinsou hadn't said anything and it was driving me crazy.

"they're rings."

i sucked in a breath, it didn't sound like he hated them but it was hard to tell if he even liked them. "yeah, i wasn't.. i mean, you don't have to wear them.. but they're-"

"no," shinsou cut my rambling short. "i like them. i love them. thank you." the boy cupped my face with one hand, the other hand still holding the box.

i hummed and leaned into his touch. "i'm glad, i was kind of afraid it was too little."

"i think it's perfect."

shinsou dropped his hand to my own and he lifted it up. "can i?"

shinsou signaled to the ring he was holding and i nodded my head, feeling warm from the intimacy of his suggestion. shinsou slipped the ring on my pointer finger before brushing a kiss against my knuckles.

i stared down at the band, winking at me in the faint moonlight.

i took the other ring from its velvet cushion and repeated shinsou's steps. 

we held our hands up, into the night front of us, and looked at the matching rings.

"maybe someday, we can move them over two fingers." shinsou said, voice quiet.

i thought about it, replacing these rings for others to adorn our ring fingers.

"someday." i decided.

-

"are they dating?" hoshi and mai stood at the doorway looking into the living room.

"well, when have they ever been able to even stand being in the same room together? much less be that close." mai gestured at the couch, the two Yuuei students sprawled there, legs intertwining.

shinsou was holding y/n as close as he could to his chest, ensuring she didn't go rolling off and y/n had a hand draped over the boy's shoulder, fingers grazing the dyed purple locks. they were too big for the couch, to say the least, but that didn't seem to stop them and it seemed that they were using that to encourage their proximity.

"y/n has been acting real suspicious an awful lot lately. always on that phone of