tw // mentions of blood, injury, car crash

+

sirens rang and the voice of a man and woman spoke loudly. ricky felt his body moving roughly and a pain on his head and torso.

he opened his eyes to see a white shiny ceiling and a man with his hands writing something down on a clipboard in front of him.

"the boy's awake!" he yelled.

he tried lifting his head, "what-what's going-"

"sir, you're going to have to keep your head down, okay?" the man told ricky. "what's your name?"

"um, ricky bowen. where am i?"

"okay ricky bowen, you are in an ambulance on the way to the hospital. do you remember what happened? what is the name of the young lady that was with you?"

then he remembered everything that happened. he was looking at her as he drove her home. the glow shined brightly in her dark brown eyes as he felt himself falling harder and harder for her.

but the shine was abruptly interrupted by a brighter one behind her that came closer and closer as the person honked in one long continuous time in the middle of the instersection.

nini.

he disobeyed what the nurse had told him and he quickly shot up in the back of the ambulance.

"sir, please-"

"nini!" he yelled as he looked to his left to see the small brunette covered in blood from the open wounds all over her body.

the male nurse tried to push him back down but was too weak against ricky's strength,"excuse me-"

"nini, wake up. it's okay. i'm right here, i'm never going to leave you," he said to the girl, tears starting to stream out of his eyes uncontrollably.

"you're going to have to lay back down. your injuries cant handle the sudden movement," the woman told him.

"nini," he cried, "wake up!" he grabbed her hand.

"sir-"

"please," he pleaded before he felt a needle go into his arm and he started getting sleepy again. he laid back down next to the girl with their hands interlocked. "no," he slowly said before falling into a deep sleep.

+

ricky woke up to the beeping of the machine next to his hospital bed. he slowly opened his eyes and looked down to see an iv on his arm.

"hey, you're awake," lynne smiled as she walked closer and moved the hair out of his face.

"what happened?"

"you don't remember?" mike asked.

"we were driving-" a look of realization struck. "where's nini? i need to see her. she wasn't waking up in the ambulance."

"ricky, calm down," lynne told him.

a sharp pain grew on his forehead and as he put his hand up to it, he felt a bandage wrapped around.

"does it hurt?" mike asked.

he nodded a little as he put his hand down.

"is nini awake?"

his parents looked at each other before lynne shook her head slowly.

"can i uh- can i see her?"

"i'll ask the nurse," mike said before leaving the room.

"i'm sure she's gonna be fine honey," lynne smiled as she rested her hand on his head.

mike came back a couple minutes later letting them know he was allowed to go see her. he quickly got up, wanting to see her as soon as possible

he had trouble getting up as his abdomen area pained him as he moved, his parents helped him walk to nina's room and once he got in he couldn't help but let the tears fall.

she looked so small and fragile. almost her whole body bandaged, blood seeking through in some areas.

he walked faster and his parents sat him down in the hospital chair next to her bed. he leaned forward and grabbed her hand, careful not to move her too much so she wouldn't have to go through any more pain.

"um, we're gonna head to the cafeteria, do you want anything?" mike asked ricky.

he kept his eyes on the girl as the tears kept falling.

"ricky?" lynne said, grabbing his attention, "do you want anything?"

he shook his head lightly and turned back to face the girl. with both of his hands wrapped around her left hand.

"nini, i'm so sorry. this is all my fault," he whimpered. "i just wanted to spend more time with you. if i had just let you go home with ashlyn this wouldn't have happened."

he waited for a reply, knowing that she wasn't going to. he brought her hand up to his lips and kissed her knuckles as it started to get wet from the tears falling from his eyes.

"please wake up," he whispered, "i need you. we have a couple more months right? let's go back to the field and look for fireflies like that night we got closer. please."

he watched her with his blurry eyes and saw the amount of machines attached to her.

"remember, i promised it was going to be okay? it will. just wake up," his voice cracked, "we could go out. we could go to a drive in, we could go rollerblading, to an arcade, bowling. or-or we could stay in and bake cookies or watch tangled. we could do all your favourite things," he smiled.

still nothing.

"give me something nini. please," his smile dropped and he pleaded. "can- can you move your hand? move your hand if you can hear me."

he set his eyes on her small hand being held by his own. nothing.

"this is all my fault," he cried more. "wake up nini, let's go find fireflies, yea? they always show up at the best times, remember?"

she still stayed in the same position, asleep as she laid on her bed and both her arms by her side.

"please don't leave me, i love you."

at this, he hoped she would do something. he hoped she would move, wake up, anything to give him a sign that she was listening, that she loved him back.

but still, nothing.

he let out louder sobs that could be heard in the hallway outside her hospital room as he got up to wrap his body around hers.

"i'm sorry," he practically yelled out. "blame me, get mad at me, scream at the top of your lungs and tell me how much you hate me!" his voice cracked, "anything. just wake up."

"ricky," mike said as he walked back into the room, "we need to go back to your room. nini's moms are here."

he widened his red, puffy eyes and looked back towards nina.

"no. i can't leave her," he said, sitting back down on the seat, shaking his head.

"ricky-"

"please dad. let me be with her."

mike let out a breath of air before turning around and walking back into the hallway.

"i'm always gonna be right-"

"nina!" carol yelled as she barged into her room, followed by dana who already had tears in her eyes. "nina, oh my god," she gasped at the sight of her daughter.

"honey, no," dana quietly said as she went to her side and put her hands on her face, "no."

"you need to leave," carol raised her voice and pointed to ricky.

"no, please, just let me stay," ricky pleaded, "let me help."

"you've helped enough. just go."

"i didn't mean for this to happen, i just-"

"ricky," dana spoke, "please go."

he looked at dana who was looking at her daughter with a tear stained face, and then at carol who was glaring at him. he turned his head to face the brunette who lied helplessly in bed.

"now," carol said in an angry tone, her voice cracking.

he nodded his head before giving nina's hand a tight squeeze and getting up to slowly walk out of the room.

"ready to go back?" lynne asked as she placed her hand on his back.

he turned around to look into the room nina laid unconscious in. carol went to sit where ricky was just sitting and he heard her let out tears as she held her hand.

i'm sorry.

he looked back to his parents and nodded letting them know he wanted to go back.

and so they did. they went back into his room, a couple rooms down from where he left the love of his life slowly dying, all because of him.