suna sat on his kitchen counter, watching as yn watched the boiling water with noodles in it. she didn't take her gaze away from the pot for a second. she promised suna that she could make the best ramen ever and watched every step as if it would cause a revolution if she didn't look at it for a second.

it was cute how eager she was to show off her cooking skills.

it caused him to slowly approach her and, after a moment of fighting his demons and wondering if it was okay for him to do so, he hugged her from behind. it was embarrassing how bad he was at keeping his hands to himself around yn, he usually held a hand on her back or, when he was trying to annoy her, he laid his elbow on her shoulder, just to remind her that he was a few centimeters taller. when the occasion called for it, he would place his hand on her knee or lightly brush her hair with his fingers. they hugged quite frequently, but each time it felt different, more intimate.

he was convinced she felt his beating heart on her back.

but she didn't say anything. she actually smiled softly when she felt suna's hands on her stomach. her face was warmer than usual.

suna leaned in slightly to rest his chin on her shoulder, causing her to whince slightly.

"try using the other shoulder."

"what's wrong with his one?"

he asked, softly laughing, but he changed the shoulder he put his chin on exactly as she asked. he guessed that yn had probably tried to carry too much in her bag on one shoulder again, causing her a bit of pain.

"are you okay, yn?"

suna expected her to brag about how strong she is and how she can carry heavy objects while nothing was hurting her. she always made excuses like this, despite the fact that she had clearly strained her shoulder with whatever muscles were in it. but she seemed off this time.

"ah... i can't think of a good excuse..."

her quiet voice made him take a step back.

"why would you need an excuse? what happened?"

"nothing much, really, don't get so serious."

she used that suna freed her from his warm and cozy hug to cast off the water from the pot. the ramen had to wait until she told him about the incident at school.

"one guy pushed me on lockers after... well, after nothing, he said really weird things, and i thought i could just ignore him and walk away, but apparently, not everyone can handle rejection."

Within seconds, yn felt hands on her cheeks and worried eyes on her face.

"a guy pushed you on lockers, and you say it's nothing?"

"i mean, there isn't much anyone can do about it, so it's nothing much."

"i can kick his ass, if you tell me who."

"i don't think you need to do it, you've already kicked his ass in his head."

"what do you mean?"

"ah, rintarou, don't look at me like that!"

she patted his hands away from her face and turned around because looking him in the eyes was already too much for her. suna had a really piercing gaze, how could she have missed it?

"don't change the subject."

"he walked up to me right after he saw us talking one day and the first thing he said was that you're the reason why i turn down every guy who tries to ask me out, and then he asked me what you have that he doesn't."

"am i the reason?"

yn opened her mouth to respond to him, but no good response came out, so she grabbed a random washcloth and hit suna with it.

"i was just joking!"

he laughed loudly before grabbing the rug from her grasp and tossing it away. he couldn't help but throw his earlier response because he was too curious about her reaction to something like that.

"what did you say to him?"

"i... eh, i just laughed at him."

"and he then pushed you?"

suna calmed down slightly, returning to the more serious tone of the conversation. she just hummed back, trying not to look at him. yn disliked serious conversations, no matter what they were about.

"did you talk about it it with anyone?"

"this girl, hayashi-san, from first year, she helped me then, and she told my teacher what happened when she walked me to class afterwards, but he just kind of brushed it off..."

suna sighed lightly, unsure how to help yn at that time.

"you know you can be upset, don't you? you don't have to act as if nothing happened, yn."

he said this while watching her eyes well up with tears.

"oh, yn..."

she was quickly pulled into a hug. suna held her tightly, one hand patting the back of her head.

"i was scared."

"you're safe now."

she nodded, but it didn't stop the sobbing she finally let out. she had no idea how badly she needed to cry in someone's arms.

yn always tried to be positive and see the good in every situation.

was daishou the worst boyfriend ever? yes, but because of her relationship with him, she gained suna, atsumu, and many more friends.

she lost every friend she had in a year? yes, but she has them back now, and their bond is stronger than ever!

she started to hate herself for becoming someone she was not and discovered a number of flaws in herself? yes, but finding herself and understanding who she is again is so much fun, exploring every aspect of herself all over again made her feel like a character in a book, which she enjoyed.

yn didn't let those negative things get to her, but she should finally do it and process everything she went through to heal and move on, than come back to them with everything good that happened to her. she needed to understand that good things can happen "just because," that they aren't some sort of reward for all the bad things that have happened, and that it doesn't have to be even. it's not like bad things have to happen before good things can come to her.

"i'm sorry."

with yn's words, a warm hug loosens up a little. suna gently took her face in his hands and raised it to look at her.

"for what?"

yn began wiping away her tears, which made her look even worse due to mascara smeared on her cheeks. her hands shook even more with each wipe, and her breath became heavier. suna grabbed her hands in his own and stopped her. he had no choice but take action because it appeared to him to be a panic attack. he had never seen one with his own eyes, but he had heard how it looked, so it was his best guess, and it led him to how to help her.

"shh, everything is okay, yn, you're safe. just try to breathe."

because of how loud her blood was pumping in her ears, she felt like suna's voice was coming from behind the wall. it wasn't the first time she felt like that, but it was the first time someone tried to help her and looked at her, which stressed her out. even with his gentle touch on her cheeks and caring eyes on her, it took some time for her to calm down.

"just like that, baby."

suna tried to explain that it had just slipped, but to be honest, he felt bad for calling yn with a petname for the first time in a situation like that, especially a bad petname, come on, he could use something better than basic ass 'baby'. he didn't want to make things awkward or stress her out again.

but it didn't seem that yn was paying attention to it.

"how do you feel?"

"better."

she responded with a heavy sigh.

"sorry for that."

"there's nothing you need to apologize for, yn."

"i just ruined our sleepover."

suna just looked at her for a brief moment, clearly disappointed by her words.

"you didn't ruin anything, you wouldn't ruin anything even if you cried all night, and it's not like we can only spend time together when we're both happy, we should also be there for each other in tough moments like this. it's good thing that you feel comfortable crying and sharing your feelings with me."

it was hard for yn not to cry again. she had to be a nobel peace prize winner in her previous life to deserve someone like suna. he was always patient with her, always reassuring when she needed it, understanding and caring... and on top of that, he was always fun to be around, even if they were just sitting in silence, trying to study, she had a smile on her face just because of his presence around, he always listened about every little thing she wanted to talk about, and when he wanted to tell her about something, it always felt like the most interesting story she had ever heard. she liked to watch him play or just look at him when she was sitting with the band. she adored everything about him.

"do you feel that way around me?"

"yes, yes i do."

he didn't even pause to think before responding. there is no hesitation or doubt.

if she only knew how much more he felt when he was around her.

"you look like you've cried."

suna pressed his finger against her cheek.

"very funny."

she laughed and pushed his hand away from her.

"do you have any cotton swabs? i brought micelar water with me, but i forgot to bring swabs."

"sure, come on."

he nodded and went to bathroom, while yn went to took her little bottle with micelar water from her bag. she expected suna to simply leave the swabs on the cabinet, but he was holding them and waiting for her.

"thank you."

yn attempted to take them away and finally take care of the mess on her face, but the hand just flew away from her before she could do so. next thing she noticed was that suna snatched the bottle from her hand.

"let me do it."

"i'm a big girl, i can do it myself."

she laughed softly, shaking her head, but sat on the edge of the bathtub as he suggested with his hand.

"i know, i just want to do it for you."

he began wiping down her cheeks with a wet swab, trying to be gentle while still being a real help and removing her makeup. it's not like he ever did it, he was just trying to do what he saw his aunt do, when she was taking off her makeup after work.

"you see, i'm better at showing than telling how i feel, and i'm feeling especially caring right now."

"but you're really good with words."

he expected her to say that. good thing to see what his attempt of being more open payed off.

"it's because i don't want you to have to figure things out on your own and leave you overthinking what i meant, or something..."

suna seemed to be a divine gift to her once more.

"how does it feel to be inside my head and know everything i've ever needed to know in my life?"

he chuckled lightly as he wiped her forehead with a swab.

"i like it in here, you think about little cats a lot, so it's nice."

yn gasped loudly and lightly punched him with her hand.

"how did you know that?!"

𓆩☆⋆｡°🏐✧♪˖°🎤°.•☆𓆪

THEY ARE SO FUCKING SAPPY I WILL KILL THEM OR MYSELF EUGHHHHHHHH RAAAAH sorry im normal again