"Everyone you may leave." Jonas finishes off our usual weekly team meeting. I let out a long sigh, thankful to be able to leave the room and finally be able to get physical and run around again. As I go to leave, Jonas stops me at the door. "Elena, may I talk to you in my office?"

"Oh, yeah." I nod and follow him down the hallway to his office. I have an idea what this interaction will be about. The room feels smaller than usual, the air thick with anticipation.

Jonas sits himself behind his desk and folds his hands together. "So, I wanted to talk about your contract. It's coming up to expiration, and we need to make some decisions. How are you feeling about staying at Arsenal?"

"I... I'm not sure yet." I hesitate, my eyes flickering to the window.

"Not sure?" He raises an eyebrow at me. "You've been doing well here. We'd love to keep you, but if there's something on your mind, now's the time to talk."

I take a deep breath before speaking. "It's not that I don't love the club. I do. But... I've gotten a few other offers."

Jonas leans back in his chair, nodding thoughtfully.
"It's normal. You're a great player; of course other clubs are interested. Do you have those offers with you?"

I pull the folder of papers out of my bag, my hands shaking slightly. "Yeah. Here."

I hand over the documents, and Jonas scans through them."I can see why you're considering your options. There are some good offers here. But... you know we value you, Elena. Arsenal wants to keep you, and I'm sure we can come to an agreement that's best for you." He says after a pause.

"I just need some time to think." I say, my voice quiet.

Jonas nods, handing the papers back to me.
"Take your time. We don't need an answer right now, but don't wait too long. We're heading into the transfer window, and I need to know where your head is at. You're important to this team."

I say, taking the papers and standing up. "Thanks, Jonas. I'll let you know soon."

I step out of his office, feeling the weight of the decision hanging over me

"You're really thinking about leaving?"

I freeze , looking up to see Caitlin standing there, hurt and confusion written all over her face.

"I don't know yet." I say, defensively. "I'm just... weighing my options."

Caitlin steps forward, her words trembling. "So, what? After everything, you're just going to walk away?"

"It's not like that, Caitlin. I have to think about my career. My future." I frown and clutch the papers tighter.

"Your future? What about us? Are you going to throw that away too?" Caitlin says, angrily.

My eyes widen. "There isn't an 'us' anymore, Caitlin. You made sure of that."

Caitlin flinches, her face tightening in pain. "I know I messed up." Her voice breaks. "But I've been trying, Elena. I've been trying to fix things, and you-"

"You think this is just about you and me?" I cut her off, shaking my head "It's not that simple. This is about my entire life, my career. I can't just stay here because of what we used to be."

Caitlin's eyes start to well up with tears, her breathing unsteady. I don't think I've ever actually seen her cry before. "You really think I'm the reason you'd leave?"

"No. But... you're part of why it's so hard to stay." I say, my voice faltering.

There's a long, painful silence. Both of us standing in the hallway, the noise from the rest of the team somewhere in the background, but in this moment, it's just the two of us. The weight we carried and our unresolved feelings pressing down on us both.

"I don't want you to go, Elena. Not like this." Caitlin says, tearfully.

"You don't get to say that." My tears spill over. "You don't get to act like you're the one hurting when you're the one who... who shattered everything."

"I didn't mean for any of it to happen. I've been trying to make it right, I swear." Caitlin reaches out, her voice desperate.

I step back, my voice raw. "But it doesn't change what you did. It doesn't change the fact that I don't know if I can trust you again. Caitlin, I can't keep doing this."

Caitlin's tears finally spill over, and she wipes at her face, frustrated with herself. "I'm sorry, Elena. I'm so sorry."

"It's not enough. I don't know if it'll ever be enough." I shake my head, my tears falling uncontrollably now.

We stand there, both of us crying, the hurt between us too deep to fix with just words. I look down at the papers in my hand, the future uncertain, not just for mu career, but for the fractured relationship I'm still struggling to process.

"Please don't leave because of me." Caitlin whispers.

"I don't know what I'm going to do." I say quietly, my voice broken.

And with that, I walked away, leaving Caitlin standing in the hallway, heartbroken and helpless, watching me go.

I lie in bed, staring up at the ceiling, not being able to sleep after my interaction with Caitlin today. I knew she was trying. I was trying too, but for some reason I couldn't fully open myself up to her again.

I wanted her arms around me. I knew if they were, I'd actually be able to sleep right now, but I just couldn't do it. I was scared I wouldn't be able to again either.

My phone buzzed on the bedside table and I groaned as I rolled over and grabbed it. I didn't expect the messages, however.

𝘾𝙖𝙞𝙩𝙡𝙞𝙣
𝙃𝙚𝙮... 𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙡𝙡 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨. 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙄 𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙥 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙧, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙖𝙮 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜. 𝙄 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙄 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙪𝙥, 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣.

𝘾𝙖𝙞𝙩𝙡𝙞𝙣
𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙡𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙅𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙨' 𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙨... 𝙞𝙩 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙝𝙞𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙩 𝙤𝙣𝙘𝙚. 𝙄 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙𝙣'𝙩 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚. 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝘼𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙖𝙡-𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙚𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙙-𝙞𝙩 𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙨𝙤 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝. 𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙄 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬, 𝙄 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩'𝙨 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙙. 𝘼𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄 𝙙𝙞𝙙.

𝘾𝙖𝙞𝙩𝙡𝙞𝙣
𝘽𝙪𝙩, 𝙀𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙖, 𝙄 𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙖 𝙤𝙛 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙛 𝙬𝙚'𝙧𝙚 𝙣𝙤𝙩... 𝙩𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚. 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙣 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙡𝙡 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬. 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨𝙣'𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙥𝙖𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨, 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚. 𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙄 𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙪𝙩. 𝙄 𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙮 𝙗𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄'𝙢 𝙨𝙤 𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙮.

𝘾𝙖𝙞𝙩𝙡𝙞𝙣
𝙄 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙇𝙞𝙖, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙣𝙤 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙞𝙩 𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙩. 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙄 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪. 𝙄𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚, 𝙖 𝙨𝙩𝙪𝙥𝙞𝙙 𝙤𝙣𝙚, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙢𝙮𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙞𝙩. 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙨𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪. 𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙄 𝙢𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙨.

𝘾𝙖𝙞𝙩𝙡𝙞𝙣
𝙄 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙨𝙥𝙖𝙘𝙚. 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚, 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙬𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙠? 𝙉𝙤𝙩 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙨. 𝘼𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙪𝙨. 𝘼𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣'𝙩 𝙗𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙖𝙮. 𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨.

I stare at the messages, unsure of what to do. I continue staring at them as the light begins to peak through the curtains and the day begins to shine upon us.

I don't know what time I fell asleep that night, but I seriously didn't get enough sleep for the long day of training ahead.