The noise from the dining hall faded as I sat back in my chair, watching Caitlin across the table. She was playing with her water glass, fingers absentmindedly tracing the rim. Everyone had cleared out after dinner, but I stayed behind, knowing this conversation needed to happen.

And I needed to be the one to start it.

The kiss at the FA Cup final was still fresh in my mind—the way it felt like everything and nothing had changed all at once. The way it stirred up emotions I thought I had locked away for good.

But things were different now. I'm different now. And there's a part of me that isn't ready to dive back in, not without talking first.

"Hey," I say, my voice cutting through the comfortable silence. Caitlin's eyes lift to meet mine, and just like that, the familiar spark flares between us. But this time, I steady myself. "Can we talk?"

She looks surprised but nods quickly. "Of course."

I push my chair back and stand, feeling the weight of what's about to be said press against my chest. "Let's get some air. I don't want to do this here."

Without a word, she follows me outside. The evening air is crisp, and the sky is littered with stars. I shove my hands into the pockets of my jacket, walking toward the quiet training grounds. We settle on a bench, and I take a deep breath, trying to steady the whirlwind of thoughts that have been racing through my mind since the kiss.

I glance at Caitlin. She's waiting, patient as ever, but I can see the tension in her shoulders. She's probably wondering what's going on in my head, and I owe it to her to be honest.

"I've been thinking a lot about us... about the kiss," I begin, looking down at my hands. "It's not that I regret it, because I don't. Not at all." I pause, feeling the weight of my words hanging in the air. "But I can't just pretend like everything's suddenly fixed between us."

Caitlin doesn't interrupt, but I can feel her eyes on me, her silence urging me to keep going.

"I've been hurt before, Cait," I say, my voice wavering slightly. "Not just by you, but by everything that happened between us. And I guess what I'm trying to say is... I need time. I want to take it slow."

Caitlin's quiet for a moment, and I brace myself for her reaction. I'm half-expecting her to be frustrated, to want more than I can give right now, but when I finally look at her, she's just nodding, her expression soft.

"I get it," she says gently, her eyes never leaving mine. "You don't need to explain. I've been thinking about it too. I don't want to rush anything either."

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. Somehow, hearing her say that takes a huge weight off my shoulders.

"I missed you," I admit softly, my voice barely above a whisper. "And I don't want to lose you again, but... I'm scared. Scared that if we rush into this, it's all going to fall apart again."

Caitlin shifts closer, her hand reaching for mine. Her touch is warm, steady, and for a second, it feels like the rest of the world melts away, leaving just the two of us in this quiet corner of the training ground.

"I missed you too," she says, her voice low and honest. "And I don't want to mess this up. If taking it slow is what you need, then that's what we'll do. No pressure. No expectations."

Her words are so simple, so sincere, that I feel the tightness in my chest start to ease. I smile, a small one, but it feels like the first real one in a while.

"Thank you," I say, my voice soft. "I know it's probably not what you were expecting to hear."

Caitlin shakes her head, squeezing my hand lightly. "You don't have to thank me, Els. I'm in this for the long haul. Whether that's slow or fast, it doesn't matter. As long as it's with you."

I feel a lump rise in my throat at her words, and I have to blink back the sudden rush of emotion. It's crazy how someone can say exactly what you need to hear at the exact right moment, and Caitlin's always been able to do that.

We sit there in silence for a while, just holding hands. Caitlin had noticed me wearing the bracelet she got me for my birthday last year again and a smile played on her lips. The night air is cool, but her presence beside me is enough to keep the chill at bay. For the first time since the FA Cup final, I feel like maybe this isn't so scary. Maybe we can figure this out, one step at a time.

Caitlin's voice breaks the silence, quiet but playful. "So... slow, huh? Does that mean no more surprise kisses on the pitch?"

I laugh, rolling my eyes. "We'll see," I say, bumping her shoulder with mine. "No promises."

She chuckles, and the sound is warm and familiar, like the Caitlin I knew before everything got so complicated. For a moment, I let myself lean into that—into the possibility of us finding our way back to each other, without the fear of what comes next.

Caitlin's thumb brushes over the back of my hand, and I turn to her, our eyes meeting in the dim light of the floodlights. "I'm glad we talked and I also told Jonas I want to renew my contract here," I tell her, feeling lighter than I have in weeks. I snuggle into her side, feeling the cold wind rush around us.

"Me too. I'm happy you're staying. This club really needs you. I need you." she replies, her gaze softening as she pulls me closer with her arm around me. "We're gonna be okay, Els. I know it."

And somehow, with her sitting next to me, her hand still holding mine with her other one around me, I believe her. We'll figure it out, step by step, slow or fast. As long as we're doing it together.

That's all that matters.