it has been three days already since Mihrimah sultan arrived and ever since i couldn't live stress free , i was the only one who found the timing of her arrival unsettling , i wasn't against the idea of her coming but i thought that in this moment after her brother died she would want to be next to her mother not her half brother who was supposedly going to benefit from mehmed's death .

I was the only one who thought she was planning to do something but i couldn't figure out what it is but now it was late , very late to stop anything from being done because we were already greeting her for the last time before she leaves .

« Hope you go back safely , i've put a lot of guards in your disposition to ensure you arrive safely » Mustafa caressed his sister's face and she smiled widely before hugging him .

« I will miss you , i am sorry about everything » She said on the verge of crying and that didn't sit right with me , what was she apologising about ? or maybe she was apologising for her mother's behaviour ? my head was already spinning with many questions

« Don't apologise , i know we fight sometimes but nothing will break our bond » He patted her back slowly and broke the hug , soon after she left the room along with her daughter and Mustafa followed so he can attend to a meeting with some statesmen .

It was only me and mahidevran sultan in the room , the atmosphere was very tense because we couldn't talk after her confession .

« I feel bad .. but i want to thank you for keeping this a secret , Mustafa wouldn't want to look at my face ever again » She said looking at the floor visibly regretful.

« I never hide anything from Mustafa .. i honestly didn't excpect this from you but » i fell silent as i felt a shooting pain in my stomach . my face changed and i immediately took a seat to ease the pain .

« Are you good ? what happened ? » Mahidevran sultan got worried and helped me lay down  a little bit .

I took some few deep breaths , i didn't know what happened to me but whatever this was is because of her . the pain was escalating little by little .

« I have been stressed lately » i said trying to not make her worry further more , after all these events i didn't have time to take care of my health .

"You should be more careful , especially in the first months" Mahidevran sultan rubbed my hand gently as i calmed my pain down .

3rd person pov

Months have passed by , Hurrem sultan was in grief and has never been the same . the pain of losing her child was a big factor for her powerlessness and health issues. it had stripped her of her strength and purpose

After Mehmed's death she isolated herself from everyone even suleyman who had her exiled , he couldn't forgive her for what she had done.

She had spent years weaving a web of power , creating alliances and whispered promises . A spider never loses its webs , they only grow stronger her even in solitude .

After she sent her daughter to the crown prince. she didn't stay idle , in the contrary she brainwashed all of her children especially Selim who she was rooting for to take the throne .

It seemee impossible for him to be the sultan but with his mother being hurrem sultan it wasn't impossible .

She walked towards her desk counting her steps to reach the key of her salvation , the falsified letter . She opened the drawer slowly and opened it making sure no one got rid of it .

A smirk flared as she continued reading the letter written by rustem and sealed by mustafa , there was no way he could get away from this .

The only way he can do it is live in the afterlife , she knew how intolerant suleyman was and how serious he was about treason, and it being his weakest point . She used it in her favor and made her daughter travel all the way to Amasya , steal the seal and stamp on this falsified letter full of lies and hatred towards the sultan .

The letter was written to make it seem like Mustafa was plotting against his father with the help of the persian shah, his father's greatest enemy . Yet she didn't use this card yet , she was waiting for the right moment to strike .

Her door opened shaking her off from her thoughts , she glanced at the door and smiled as her daughter mihrimah approached her .

She looked at the floor and bowed down to her mother "Come inside" Hurrem sultan welcomed her in as she took a seat , her daughter joined her visibly uncomfortable as if she had something to say .

"You're reading it again" she looked down at her mother's hands and saw the letter hanging from her hand . "I shouldn't have done this" ..

Hurrem shoot her a malicious glare " I will get rid of people who killed my son which is your biological brother" mihrimah looked at her unsure " Mustafa wouldn't do this .. he can't kill someone innocent"

"You trust him too much , maybe go live with him in amasya and take his side" hurrem sultan said visibly annoyed by her daughter's emotions .

"He won't die right ? i mean .. what is the worst thing he can do ? exile him right ?" Mihrimah tried to make the situation sound less bad than it was making her mother chuckle .

"Do you think treason like this and threatening to overthrow the sultan will only get you exiled ? he will pay with his life" she folded the letter and got up to put it back to where it was .

" I am scared of my father's reaction , i can't even imagine how he will react to this » Mihrimah was starting to regret her actions but couldn't voice it out .

« the sultan's trust is a fragile thing mihrimah » hurrem sultan continued her speech as she sat down next to her daughter « Once a doubt is planted , it grows like a poison . He will not even give him a chance to defend himself »

Mihrimah looked away unable to meet her mother's gaze , she had always admired her mothers strength but now seeing her like this hungry for vengeance over something that's not confirmed made her anxious . Hurrem sultan was very certain that mustafa or his mother caused mehmed's death .

Hurrem placed a hand on her daughter's h cheek lifting her face up « you did well my daughter , you secured our future . do not let guilt cloud your judgement » Mihrimah could only nod but the pit in her stomach remained .

At Amasya - Sella's pov

Months have passed by and i couldn't deny that i was getting more paranoid and anxious about every little thing , i have been restless lately and i blamed it all on my pregnancy.

I was in mustafa's room keeping myself busy with embroidery while he worked on his desk too busy to talk to me . the only sounds in his chambers were soft scratching of his quill against parchment and the rhythmic crackling of the fire burning in the hearth .

the dim candlelight cast flickering shadows on his sharp features , i admired the way he worked and how dedicated he was .

« Mustafa » i finally said , my voice soft but enough to break the silence .

He didn't look up immediately , finishing the sentence he was writing before finally turning his attention to me « Yes my love ? »

« You've been working all day , you should rest a little » a faint smile tugged at the corner of his lips « i will soon , there is so much to do »

I sighed , setting the embroidery down on my lap « there will always be things to be done if you wait to finish everything you never will rest » He chuckled lightly and leaned back on his chair stretching his arms above his head .

« You should rest as well , it's clear you're due very soon and it's late » i shook my head .

« i couldnt sleep even if i wanted to » Mustafa's lips pressed together , he could tell why i was restless , he knew the weight i carried , the fear that plagued my mind.

« What troubles you ? » he got up and joined me on the cushions scattered on the floor . I looked down and hesitated , i didn't want to sound like a paranoid wife driven by mad suspicion.

« Nothing , maybe i am exaggerating » i picked up the embroidery and stared at the tulip already starting to form , he followed my every move silently before setting everything i had in my hands away .

« I know it , i know you're scared but you can't live like this forever right ? i am fine and i have a good relationship with my father if that is what worries you » he placed his hand over mine .

I exhaled shakily , my free hand resting against my belly as if to ground myself « it's not just that , you're too nice for them mustafa you have to stop being naive . Mihrimah is dangerous »

« Mihrimah is my sister , she will not plot against me »i bit my lip , this is what i feared not mihrimah herself but the influence her mother had on her .

« not even if she were acting under her mother's will ? » his gaze darkened but he shook his head « hurrem have tried for years , for 30 years already but the trust my father has in me is unwavering and he knows it »

I wanted to believe that but hurrem was someone who played the long game , she never struck without making sure the ground beneath her enemies was already crumbling .

Mustafa placed a hand on my belly, his touch was gentle as he felt the faint movement of our child « i don't want you thinking about things you can't control, i need you to be strong, for yourself, for me, for our children »

I nodded but a part of me still felt at unease « promise me one thing »

« Anything » he answered with no hesitation.

« if anything feels wrong , if anything changes between you and your father don't be blind to it , don't brush it aside just because you want to believe him »

I knew how much mustafa wanted to believe that his father still loved him the same way but love in that palace is fragile and can quickly turn into poison .

« i don't want you to turn your back on him , i want you to protect yourself even if that means » i hesitated « even if it means choosing yourself over him »

A long silence stretched between us « if that day ever comes  , i will do what i must » his words hung in the air between us , heavy with meaning . I swallowed the lump in my throat and decided to just go sleep and let him finish his work .

« Do you have anything tomorrow ? » i asked as he helped me on my feet , he smiled faintly as he steadied me «  nothing urgent for now , do you have something in mind ? »

I hesitated for a moment , it has been a while since we had shared a day without any worries , day where there'd be just us together .

« Can you free tomorrow just for me ? » i asked making him raise his eyebrow « you should be resting but i think i can do that »

« I rest plenty » I countered « i just want one day , no duties , no problems just us together » He reached for my hair and tucked a stray strand behind my ear .

« Alright » he murmured « i am all yours tomorrow » i smiled and with that promise hanging between us , i let him return to his work and retreated to my room to check on nergisşah .

The next morning , i woke up to the cries of nergisşah reaching her hands towards the ceiling . Before i could get up to see what was wrong , one of the servants entered my room to see what was wrong .

My hands flew to my eyes scrubbing my eyes feeling exhaustion travelling all the way through my body .

" What is wrong with her ?" i asked battling to open my eyes , the girl had already picked up my daughter trying to calm her down . "i don't know sultana , her clothes are clean and we fed her and earlier" she tried to silence her cries but it didn't seem to work .

I slowly sat down fixing my clothes as i reached for my daughter « give her to me » i held her in my arms and held her against my chest.

Her cries intensified and i didn't know what was wrong , i put her down on my bed a trying to look for anything that might have caused her distress .

« I can't see what's wrong, call the head doctor for me » i said ordering her to search for help , i her cries were echoing on the room that i didn't notice mustafa coming inside my room .

« What is wrong ? » Mustafa got alerted by the sound of nergisşah crying « I don't know she just started crying » i picked her up again walking towards him .

« She doesn't have a fever either i don't understand » i said already starting to panic, he took her from my arms and cradled her as her tiny fists grabbed his collar .

The doctor finally came and we let her take my daughter do examine her , she checked her head to toe but she didn't seem concerned about anything . lastly she pressed against nergisşah's gums and smiled .

« Your highness , our sultana is teething . She is growing her first teeth , it is normal for babies her age » The doctor said as she carried my daughter in her arms .

« her gums are likely sore , which is why she is restless » i nodded in comprehension as i took her away from her .

the doctor bowed « i will have the servants prepare something to help ease her pain » i nodded and sighed in relief .

As the doctor left , mustafa turned around and pinched her nose gently « Looks like someone is eager to grow up » she calmed down when she felt his presence .

« I don't know if i can leave without her » i said remembering that we were supposed to have our alone time , i sighed and sat down .

« There are a lot of servants that will take care of her , and you heard the doctor it's not very serious » he sat down next to me trying to convince me to leave the palace with him .

I looked down at her , he was right and i couldn't deny that i really needed an escape so i set her down after she calmed down .

« you won » i said getting up to open my closet , i tried to find a dress that'd fit me , as i searched my eyes fell on a dress i haven't worn since i was pregnant with nergisşah.

I changed as quickly as i could , fixed some imperfections on my face,  brushed my hair gently and turned around towards mustafa who was still keeping an eye on our daughter .

« I am ready » i said closing my cloak , he got up on his feet and grabbed my hand gently .

Soon enough i found myself outside the palace , to my surprise Mustafa had arranged a small boat to take us across the water away from the suffocating walls of the palace .

The breeze was crisp , carrying the salty scent of the sea as we drifted away from the palace . I leaned back against mustafa as his hand wrapped securely around me as we watched the blue stretch before us .

For the first time in a long time , i felt like i could breathe away from towering walls , the endless whispers and the weight responsibilities , i wasn't a sultana and he wasn't a prince fighting for survival .

It was just us .

« if i could take you away from all of this and hide from the whole world , i would » he broke the silence as he tightened his grip around me .

«You would hate it , you can't sit still for so long . always eager for something to conquer » i teased letting out a soft laugh .

« You're right , you see how destiny is funny ? our future was written right when we were born . we were destined to be serving our country » He said throwing a small rock on the lake .

« I wonder sometimes how life would be if we were just normal people » i said looking up at him . « Maybe we'd be farmers and own a big farm or even merchants who'd travel the whole world and discovering new places » He looked down at me and kissed the bridge of my nose .

« I would choose you in every lifetime that is for sure » he said looking at my eyes ,i chuckled softly as i felt my cheeks burning .

« you have your ways with words don't you » i said trying to steady myself, « it's why i like you , i love your honesty » i smiled as i faced him . the boat still moving .

The man that was guiding the boat docked on a secluded shore , a hidden stretch of sand untouched by the chaos of the palace .

Mustafa stepped off first helping me get off carefully , he led me to a shaded spot beneath the trees and helped me sit down on the sand .

« This place is wonderful » i said admiring the amazing view infront of us « it's one of my secret places » he answered pulling me close and reaching for my shoes .

He gently took the off and set them aside , i felt my feet touch the cool sand watching the waves  roll in as they neared us . the sound of the waves was therapeutic and him being next to me was more than enough.