did you deserve it? no. did they trick you into thinking it? yes.

it was always... "y/n it's your fault!" "they are dead cause of you!" those words always made you doubt yourself. made you think where the actual y/n was.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

another day where you decided to neglect yourself. you didn't want to give in, you wanted to be lifeless. you were more miserable than before.

"y/n please..." bokuto sobbed as he cuddled your hand.

you wanted to tell them, 'it's your fault. you did this. you never learn.' but you were too weak, and also too scared. scared? why? because you were so ready for death, but you wondered what was life after death?

akaashi sat back in regret. he hoped you didn't die, or else he did the opposite of what he planned to do in the beginning. akaashi wanted to free you. he was a cop, he was paid to do all of this. akaashi wanted to save you. he wasn't inlove with you like he says he is, he knows you want to go home.

"akaashi... if she fuckin dies..." kuroo growled.

"is she going to be okay!?" bokuto turned.

you moved your pupils around. the windows. the windows were your escape. like last time, with kenma.

you waited for the boys to leave the room. that they did....

"i'm coming home..." you whispered to yourself as you weakly got on your frail legs. your stomach growled and your skin was paler. you opened up the window and looked down. it wasn't a deadly fall, but it was definitely nerve-racking.

"be careful," akaashi said from behind you. you were startled and you froze.

"uh- i'm-" you stuttered.

"i see what you're doing. do it. i'm not stopping you."

you turned and gave him a small smile as you threw one leg out and tossed your body out the window, hoping you were to fall on your feet.

you did it. you did it!

"ah..." kuroo said while leaning on the wall next to you.

"ouch, look at your ankle!" bokuto said as he brought a fist to his mouth. you glanced down to see your ankle quickly flowing purple and looking how it's not suppose to look. and you relaxed. you shouldn't have but you did. all the adrenaline came down that was masking your pain. you felt it, the stinging and the soreness.

bokuto quickly ran up to cover your mouth as you let out loud screeching.

"don't worry, gorgeous... you'll get better soon," kuroo placed ice on your swollen ankle as bokuto carried you inside to treat you.

it's a reoccurring loop. never-ending. you're slowly losing faith. you'll never escape.