ˏˋ°•*⁀ ➷ 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗘𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧𝗘𝗘𝗡
─◌✰್ 𝗆𝗈𝗃𝗂𝗍𝗈
𝗺𝗼𝗷𝗶𝘁𝗼（𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗻）/𝗺𝗼̄ˈ𝗵𝗲̄𝗱𝗼̄/
❝𝖺 𝖼𝗈𝖼𝗄𝗍𝖺𝗂𝗅 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗌𝗂𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝖿 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝗋𝗎𝗆， 𝗅𝗂𝗆𝖾 𝗈𝗋 𝗅𝖾𝗆𝗈𝗇 𝗃𝗎𝗂𝖼𝖾， 𝗌𝗎𝗀𝖺𝗋， 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗍， 𝗂𝖼𝖾， 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗄𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗐𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗈𝗋 𝖼𝗅𝗎𝖻 𝗌𝗈𝖽𝖺．❞

Why is the grass wet when it hasn't even rained?

Felix could practically feel his socks getting damper and damper the longer he stood in the clearing outside the club. His friends were dancing to yet another slow song. Other than the music, the entire courtyard was quiet. Everyone was peaceful, content.

Everyone except Felix.

He stood a few yards away from where you and Minho were dancing, eyes narrowed as he followed your every move. Mostly, it was Minho holding you up as the two of you attempted to sway to the music. Despite you clearly being drunk, that didn't stop Minho from making you laugh. Felix could hear your genuine giggles mixed with Minho's soft chuckles all the way from his spot near the table that you'd just been sitting at, moments before.

It had been three songs since Minho had asked you to dance. Three full songs. And while that was technically only about ten minutes total, Felix felt like it had been at least ten hours.

Why had Felix been so stupid?

He could have asked you to dance. Minho had even given him permission to do so, practically admitting that he wasn't super into you. And yet Felix had handed you over on a silver platter. And here Felix was, standing all alone, torturing himself, while the rest of his friends had a great, romantic evening.

Did he want himself to be unhappy?

No, of course not. Those would be the thoughts of an insane person.

But as Felix thought long and hard about why he could have possibly passed up the chance to dance with you, he drew a blank. Apart from being crazy, which Felix didn't think he was, he couldn't understand why he didn't just man up and ask the girl he liked to do something as simple as dance for a few cheesy songs.

He could lie over and over and say that Hyunjin being his best friend, and your older brother, was the only reason he struggled against the idea of making a move on you, but that wasn't true. You'd grown, changed. You were no longer just Hyunjin's rebellious little sister, you were your own person. Grown.

And besides, if Minho could ask you to dance, then Felix could too.

He could also tell himself that he just wanted you and Minho to be happy. That he thought you two would be better together. And while he did feel insecure about the fact that you two had been spending a lot of time together, he now knew that Minho's feelings towards you were not as strong as he'd once thought. And honestly, Felix was beginning to suspect he didn't care so much for Minho that he would just exchange his own happiness, if Minho didn't even care that much.

No, the reason was something much deeper, something that only Felix could take the blame for. And that was why it was so hard to admit it to himself.

And it wasn't like he was in love with you. Hell, he'd barely reunited with you earlier today. But what he did know was that when he thought about you leaving or hanging out with someone else, he wanted to punch something. Which definitely wasn't something he would usually do. Why was that?

But before Felix could take more time to ponder the answer to that question, the song ended. Felix focused on you and Minho again, wondering if you would dance for a fourth song.

Minho leaned down so he was mere inches from your face, and for a short, heart-wrenching, eyeball-exploding moment, Felix thought he was going to kiss you.

Thankfully, he didn't, or Felix might have forsaken all notions of friendship and socked him in the nose. It was probably for the best anyway. Felix wasn't the greatest fighter, and he knew Minho would have laughed at him, before beating him easily.

Instead, Minho placed his mouth close to your ear and whispered something to you. Felix focused hard on your body language to see if you'd give away anything about what he was telling you.

Felix could have sworn he saw your showers sag, as if you were disappointed by what Minho said, but when he blinked, you were back to normal. Well, as normal as was expected, as you were still quite wasted. He must have been imagining things. It was getting late, afterall. He was probably tired, as he wasn't used to staying up so late.

Minho embraced you, and Felix's heart squeezed so tight he couldn't breath as he attempted to prepare himself to watch yet another song's worth of you slow dancing with someone that wasn't him.

But then Minho let go.

And he walked away.

Felix thought he saw Minho send a sly look his way, but again, he was tired. He was definitely reading too much into this whole interaction.

For a second time that night, Felix's attention landed on his shoes. They were definitely getting wetter, and he'd never liked the sensation of wet feet. It was probably time that he follow Minho, who he assumed had already headed back to the beach house, and go to bed.

Not a very exciting night, but it was what he deserved. He'd forced this situation upon himself.

But just as Felix was turning away to go back home, he heard a sound come from where you and Minho were just dancing.

It almost sounded like a sniffle.

Felix reacted with his heart rather than his head. He knew this because if he had reacted with his head, he wouldn't have whipped around and headed straight towards you. Because if he had used his head, he would have known this was walking straight into the lion's den. Straight into what he'd been afraid of the entire time.

But were you worth it?

As he got closer, he saw that you were crouched in the grass, facing away from him, seemingly not caring if your dress got wet or stained. You were wiping your nose with the back of your hand, snuffling over and over again. Were you... crying?

"Hey, what's wrong?" Felix approached you cautiously, so as not to surprise you.

Turning around, you looked up at him with bloodshot eyes. Clearly, you were at least holding in tears, if you hadn't been crying already. He wondered just how much you drank that night.

"Heyo," you said, wiping at your nose one more time. Your voice was hoarse, like you'd been yelling the entire night. He supposed since you'd been at the club for multiple hours, that wasn't too far off from the truth.

"Are you okay?" Felix asked, offering a hand to you. You tried to grab his hand, but missed, your arm flopping into the grass at your side.

"My dress is all wet," you commented casually, like you were discussing the weather, or in your case, paint samples for a living room. "Maybe I should take it off-"

"No!" Felix exclaimed a little too loudly. You winced, covering your ears, and Felix instantly regretted yelling. Your entire mind and body must be a little sensitive from all the alcohol you drank.

"Sorry, I mean, here, let me help," Felix leaned down and grabbed your hands, tugging you to your feet. You groaned, immediately falling to rest on his shoulder. Your body was hot, radiating much-needed heat onto his skin.

"I need to do laundry," you mumbled under your breath, not letting go of his hands. "Do you have a laundry cleaner-upper? What are those called... cleanly... cleans, soap... boxes..." you trailed off as you hid your face in the front of his shirt, your breath coming in loud, deep gasps.

Felix stared down at you, unsure of what to do or say. This entire day had been long, so long. It was filled with his fuck-ups, so many of them. He'd sat there pushing down his feelings for you, thus hurting you and him in the process. And through it all, here you were. Holding him. Or rather, he was holding you. Maybe you were both holding each other, he wasn't quite sure.

He could feel all of the stress from the day washing off him like a hot shower after a day at the beach. The granules of regret and anxiety disappearing. Despite the fact that you were drunk and might not remember any of this in the morning, for the first time on this trip, Felix was content. His shoulders relaxed as he took you in his arms.

You fit perfectly.

While Felix wouldn't consider himself a big or tall man by any means, you were even shorter. Nearly a head shorter than him if he stood up straight, he could almost put his chin on top of your head. He decided this was even better than he had imagined it would be.

You clung to his shirt, burying your face deeper into the fabric. Felix supposed you must have had an even rougher night than him, if that was possible. You'd always been such a spunky, positive girl. He wondered what the hell could have brought you down to this state.

As placed his hands on your back, he could feel you shaking and quaking under his grip. Then he heard the small sniffing sounds start up once more.

Yeah, you were definitely crying now.

Felix immediately started rubbing a circle on your back with his right hand, frowning down at you in concern. When was the last time he'd seen you cry like this?

He felt his other hand clench into a fist without his permission. His heart was pounding so hard he could feel it in his throat all the way up, into his teeth. Who or whatever did this to you was going to pay.

Was this what it felt like to care about someone? He wondered as he continued to rub your back. He wasn't sure if it was making you feel better at all, but seeing as you weren't pulling away, he decided to keep going.

How much did he care about you? And in what way?

Rather than doing some deep reflecting about those feelings (he'd gotten very very good at ignoring those pesky emotions lately), Felix decided to try and talk to you.

"Erm, where is your brother?" He asked as gently as he could. Maybe distracting you from whatever was making you sad might work.

Besides, he really hadn't seen Hyunjin at all since he'd left with the rest of the guys to head to the bar. Felix knew Hyunjin was all for a good time, so he was surprised that he'd leave before everyone else.

You sighed, lifting your head from his shirt. Your makeup was smeared across your eyelids and your lower lash line, giving you the appearance of a lost raccoon, or a dog with spots around both of their eyes. His heart twisted at the sight, and he had to look down at his shoes.

"Jinnie is drunk," you sighed, wiping at one of your eyes, causing your makeup to smudge even more. "He went home with Minnie."

Felix raised his eyebrows. With a curory glance around the yard, Seungmin, too, was missing.

"They went home before everyone else?" He asked, trying to keep the surprise out of his voice.

You nodded, your mouth twitching. Felix knew that was a telltale sign of you attempting to hide a smile. He took that as a good sign, so he let you continue talking.

"He was flirting with the hot bartender and got so drunk he passed out!" She let out a watery giggle. "I have pics, wanna see?"

Before Felix could reply, you started to fumble for your phone, which was in the small crossbody purse you donned with your dress. He purposely averted his eyes from your figure, which he'd somehow managed to avoid noticing until this moment. It was nearly impossible to ignore now. Damn testosterone. He cursed himself.

As you struggled to grab your phone, grumbling and cursing slurred words under your breath, the device nearly slipped out of your fingers and onto the ground.

Felix reached out and snatched the phone at the same time you tried to lunge for it. Of course, just like a fucking k-drama, he managed to grab both the phone... and your hand.

Dammit, dammit. Felix cursed himself viciously. Why couldn't he have let you grab it on your own? Even if your phone had fallen, it would have just landed in the grass.

Your hand was just as soft as it was on the plane. Only now, it wasn't as sweaty, and just... warm. Comforting, firm.

A sensation he wouldn't soon forget swept over him, and he didn't want to let go.

Resisting the urge to squeeze your hand, or even worse, kiss it (who did he think he was, a prince?), he let go with a bit too much zeal.

Thankfully for him, you were still much too drunk to notice his discomfort.

"Thanks, mate," you shot a sloppy but heart-stopping grin up at him. "I'm Alaska by the way, I don't know if we've introduced ourselves yet."

Felix cleared his throat, unsure of what to say. Clearly, you didn't even know it was him who you were dancing with moments earlier. No wonder you weren't absolutely furious with him. He should have known something was off the moment you said something nice to him. You never would have danced with him if you were at all sober or coherent. He cursed himself yet again for his stupidity that night. That day, really.

Handing your phone back as hastily as he could, Felix nodded stiffly. "It's nice to meet you, Alaska."

You sighed, resting your head on his chest once more. "Thanks."

"Would you like to go home?" Felix asked this time. Despite wanting to detach you from his shirt, he couldn't force himself to do it. Even though his face was burning with the humiliation of getting his hopes up, the sensation of you resting on him, needing him, even if you didn't know it was him in the first place, was a completely new feeling. And he didn't want it to stop.

You shot off his chest immediately and glared up at him, the venom nearly causing him to flinch. "No! Of course not!" You put your hands on your hips and shot him your signature look that said, "I would rather die than listen to you no mattter what you say."

Felix put his hands up, trying to hide a smile. "Okay, okay. Can I ask why not?"

"For one thing, my brother is gone for the night, and I wanna have fun!" You announced loudly, causing your friends, Mya and Riley, who were still dancing with Jeongin and Chan, to turn around.

"For two, I'm super pissed off at one of his friends!" You continued.

Felix felt his cheeks heat up. Oh no, were you about to rant about him and how much of an idiot he was? He wasn't sure if he could stand to hear it, especially if you didn't know it was him listening. You certainly weren't known to hold back how you felt.

"Ah, no you actually don't have to explain-" Felix began desperately.

True to form, you didn't listen. Wiggling your pointer finger at him in a "come here" motion, he felt as if a magnetic force was drawing him in as he stumbled towards you despite his will. Clearly, he was becoming weak to you.

You glanced around you as if someone might listen in. In a semi-hushed voice, you hissed, "I'm gonna tell you a seeky secret! Can you keep a secret? Like a real big one?"

"Uhh... sure?" Felix said hesitantly. He was equal parts terrified and intrigued about what this secret could be. Did it have to do with Hyunjin? Him? Someone else entirely? Knowing you were still unhealthy levels of drunk, it could be any of the above.

"I have a huge crush on one of my brother's friends!" You were so close, he could feel your lips brush against the corner of his ear. He shivered at the sensation, but hoped you would keep talking. "You probably don't know him... but he has seven hot best friends. And I like one of them! But he's so annoying! And he made me really mad today. I almost cried actually. And I wanna find him and give him a piece of my mind! Can you help me find him?"

Felix's heart was in his throat as he tried to formulate an answer. Did he hear you correctly? Did you really say that you had a crush on one of your brother's friends? And could it really be one of the seven here on this trip?

He could feel his heart lifting with a minuscule amount of hope. He tried to tamp it down, but it was too late. He couldn't control it.

But it had to be Minho, right? Felix swallowed the bile rising in his throat. He didn't want to know. He didn't want his hope - however small it was - to be dashed.

But as you gazed up at him with those hopeful brown eyes, he knew he was a goner. He had to know.

"Ah... yeah, I guess I could do that," he said uneasily, scratching the back of his neck. "What does he look like?" Felix was unsure if he wanted to hear the answer. Because even if you were nearly blackout drunk, surely you would remember what he looked like, right?

You frowned. "Why does it matter?"

Felix paused. "It would help me to recognize him, if I saw him," he said. His skin instantly turned hot and irritated as he lied to you, his throat closing up as he waited for your answer.

Shrugging, you replied, "he's got a nice smile, and nice legs. And... erm, I think he has dark hair...?" You looked up at him with a slightly confused, earnest expression.

Felix couldn't breathe, couldn't speak. He should have known inquiring would be a mistake. A mistake to question you, a mistake, once again, to get his hopes up. He wanted to run away, to leave you here by yourself so you could find Minho by yourself. Maybe your friends would help you. He didn't want to look you in the eyes anymore, knowing you didn't like him. Knowing you liked someone else.

But, true to character, he couldn't abandon you. Not when you'd asked for his help. "And now you're mad at him?" He tried to keep his voice calm, but it came out raspy and raw, as if he'd been the one at the bar all night.

You nodded, brows pulled together like fabric being sewed together. "Yeah, and now you're gonna help me find him! You can take me home now."

Felix cleared his throat, trying and failing to keep his heart beat steady. He should stop this. Stop asking more questions, stop hurting himself even further. But he couldn't stop. "And you're- you're sure you got the description of him right? Nice smile? Dark hair?"

You nodded furiously. "Yeah."

Felix, ever the optimist, knew he had lost. He didn't want to think about it anymore. He didn't want to think about you and Minho, how you clearly liked him so much that you'd get drunk because he wasn't there to dance with you.

It was with a heart full of lead that he said, "Then let's get you home."

Felix nearly carried you all the way to the beach house. You leaned on his shoulder, muttering things like, "I'll show him", and "When I get my hands on him" the whole time. Felix wasn't sure what had gone down between you and Minho, but it must have been something serious.

And yet, you still liked him. Felix couldn't help but let the bitterness seep into his