forty five . . . downpour from hell
( march 20, 2150 — arkadia )

PEOPLE WERE DYING. No matter how much they scrubbed their skin, or followed the directions that Abby had left them, they were still dying. No one had died yet, but as Cullen made her rounds, ensuring everyone had everything they needed, she came across where the Guards had taken Louis. He had gotten it the worst, his entire skin blistered and peeling like all the times Cullen saw the effects of radiation exposure in Mount Weather. There was no cure for this — the radiation that Skaikru wasn't immune to — there was only death.

The sight of Louis's blistered skin brought tears to Cullen's eyes. It reminded her of Maya, and Jakob, and everybody else in Mount Weather that died the same painful death. She supposed this is what it looked like to the sky people when the radiation entered into the mountain; they saw what the radiation could do, but they couldn't feel it. They couldn't feel the agony, and the pain that they could only wish would morph into their deaths. It was the third time Cullen had to experience it happening, and it didn't get any less painful.

She sucked it up, blinked away her tears, and took a seat next to Harper. The McIntyre girl hadn't left Louis's side since she had found him, tending to his burning skin the best she could, mind hoping for a miracle. As Cullen sat, she quietly asked, "How are things going here?"

"He's dying." Harper choked out, tear filled eyes turning to look at Cullen. "And it's my fault."

"What? Harper—"

"He reached for me, and I didn't help him." She whimpered, short sobs rocking her body as she turned back to Louis, who was wheezing for his last breaths. Harper mopped an oozing blister, body visibly shaking as she reached out and then retracted her hand.

Cullen placed an arm around Harper's shoulder, comfortingly embracing her as she said, "We save who we can save today." Cullen's forehead touched Harper's temple, and as the younger female continued to cry, their bodies rocked, all Cullen being able to do was sooth Harper softly. "Louis wouldn't blame you, so you shouldn't blame yourself. You're alive for a reason. Please don't forget that."

As Harper continued to cry, Cullen's eyes wandered around the room, looking over the dozens and dozens of people that had been affected by the black rain. In a few short weeks, it'd be the wave of death, and no one would be safe. Their casualties now were heartbreaking, because in no case was it all right to lose a man, but they would triple in size when the heat of Praimfaya came. It seemed like a distant thought, or a bad dream, but it was neither. It was their reality, and that hadn't hit them harder than right now.

Her eyes had just left a woman tending to a young girl when she spotted Kane dashing from the room, his steps too panicked to not raise Cullen's suspicion. She squeezed Harper's shoulder gently before withdrawing her arm, slowly standing from her seat so as to not to disturb Louis. "Keep doing what you're doing, and make him comfortable. It won't be long." Was all Cullen said before she was walking hastily from the room, following after where Kane had gone.

She jogged lightly in the direction of the exit when she pulled to a startling halt at the end of the hallway lined with barrels full of water. At the end, Bellamy stood in a taped together hazmat suit, Kane only a few steps behind him — the sight struck her motionless for several seconds, Cullen blinking as though the idiotic situation would just disappear.

"Don't let Cullen follow me." Bellamy asked of Kane, before he walked out into the black rain.

"No!" Cullen screeched, suddenly finding her movements and beginning to sprint forward. Kane snapped around, arms already outstretched to stop Cullen from exiting out into the rain after Bellamy — both of them knew it was going to take more than Kane's arms to stop Cullen from following Bellamy, but the man was willing to try anything. "Get out of my way, Kane."

"Cullen—" Kane started, taking hold of Cullen's arms as she pounded towards him.

She tore away from the contact, eyes of fury blazing into Kane's consoling ones. "To stop me, you're gonna have to kill me."

"Remember what I said about thinking before you do. Your head over your heart." Kane rushed out, desperately trying to take hold of Cullen once again.

"Bellamy is my head, and my heart. Now get the hell out of my way." She commanded, swiping three water bottles from the floor as she shoved past Kane, and out into the rain.

She squinted past the heavy droplets, eyes finding Bellamy just as he was reaching the back of the rover — his frame was wobbly, jaggering as he fell violently into the frame, fumbling to open the back door. It broke her out into a panicked sprint, slipping on the mud as she skidded to a stop at the back of the rover, where Bellamy was able to lift himself inside and begin to tear his taped together hazmat suit from his body.

Cullen climbed in behind him, slamming shut the door and turning down the lock before she threw the water bottles and began tearing away Bellamy's suit. She shoved it past his shoulders and completely down his arms before reaching for a bottle, dumping the contents onto his bare skin as her hands began scrubbing off the acid.

"You stupid asshole!" She wailed, tears welling and blurring her vision as she continued scrubbing, the sound of Bellamy's groans of agony only paining her more. "You stupid, stupid son of a bitch! What the hell were you thinking?"

"The people... The two men out there... I know them." Bellamy gasped through intoxicated breaths, moving to pour water down his back. "I have to help them."

"Bellamy, what the hell happened?" Kane's voice spoke through the radio in the rover.

"You can't do things like this. Do you understand? Do you understand how much you just scared me?" Cullen was willingly crying, tears slipping down her cheeks past the rain that had soaked her skin. She was also shouting, voice cracking as she panted out, "You could've died! You could've—" she cut herself off, lips quivering as Bellamy used some of the water to clean off Cullen's hands so he could touch her, "If something was to happen to you, I physically wouldn't be able to handle it. I—"

"I'm ok." Bellamy coughed out, wanting desperately to take hold of her face and stop her from crying, but settling for bringing her radiation-free hands to his own face. "I'm ok."

She breathed out shakily, looking to him and seeing nothing but the soul person she would die for. "You scared me half to death."

"Cullen, come in." Kane's voice spoke again.

Bellamy reached over the seats and took hold of the radio, saying, "You were right. The suit's useless."

"You gotta come back in. Bring the rover to the door." Said Kane, Bellamy dropping the radio so he could remove the rest of the suit.

Cullen moved out of his way as another voice spoke over the radio, "Bellamy, it's Mark. Are you there?"

"Right here." Cullen answered while Bellamy tackled throwing the suit to the very back of the rover.

"Are you on the move yet? Peter doesn't look so good." Mark answered, sparking a memory in Cullen's mind; Peter had stayed with her and Julian the night they were able to rescue the delinquents from the bone marrow extractions.

Once the suit was completely removed, Bellamy took the radio from Cullen. "He's been through worse, and we'll get through this, too. I'm on my way."

"Copy that, Bellamy. Thanks." Peter's voice spoke over the radio.

"Bellamy, go to the private channel." Kane's voice requested, Bellamy huffing before climbing over the seats and into the driver's seat — Cullen followed, careful not to let her body too near Bellamy's as she dropped into the passenger seat, and reached to switch the channel over.

"No more lectures. I can't find my sister, but I do know where they are." Bellamy answered, before his eyes moved across to Cullen's. They were torn, as though asking himself a mental question about the status of the female that sat in the seat beside his own; with one encouraging look from Cullen, Bellamy started up the rover, and began reversing it out of Arkadia's gate.

"Bellamy, stop. Listen to me." Surprising Cullen, Kane, and Bellamy, the Blake man stopped the rover from reversing any further, both of them turning to look out of the bared windshield and towards where they could still see Kane's figure standing at the exit. "No unnecessary risks. Both of you come home safe."

Cullen took the radio from Bellamy's hand, clicking on the responding button to say, "We've got this, Kane." She assured, and smiled halfheartedly across to Bellamy. "We'll keep each other safe."

They drove the rover straight to Factory Station, with Bellamy telling Cullen that Mark and Peter were trapped beneath an overhang, and that while it would protect them for a certain amount of time, they couldn't camp under there until the rain stopped. They were nearing Factory Station when Cullen shifted in the passenger seat, casting Bellamy's eyes on her for a second, before he looked back to the deadly road in front of them.

"When we get there, I'm going to get them." She stated, framing her tone around not wishing to argue.

However, Bellamy still argued. "We get them together."

"And how do you pose we do that? The only suit we have is duck taped together, and even before it was drenched it didn't protect you." Cullen disputed. "And, the last time I checked, you weren't immune to the acid rain."

"Cullen," Bellamy said through a sigh.

"Bellamy," she copied his tone, "let me do this. Peter will remember who I am, and if I take them one at a time back to the rover, I can get them in here without exposing them to too much rain." With his lips clamped together, turned down slightly, he turned to look at her with forbearance in his eyes. "I'm not letting you go back out in that rain, so your only option is to agree with my plan."

After several seconds of contemplation, Bellamy nodded. "Ok. Your plan it is." He agreed, and only looked away when Cullen smiled in appreciation, before he took hold of the radio and brought it closer to his mouth. "Mark, come in. Coming up on Factory Station. Almost to you. Over." He waited a few seconds, eyes squinted out the windshield before asking, "Guys, you read me? Don't go quiet on me now. Gonna need help navigating once I'm past the wreckage."

To herself, Cullen whispered, "Please don't be dead. Please don't be dead."

"Yeah, we're here. We're Northwest of the salvage area at about fifteen degrees. Just follow the— Peter!" Groans followed Mark's call for his son, sounding more pained than they did when Cullen and Bellamy left Arkadia.

"What's happening? Are you ok?" Asked Bellamy, pressing harder on the accelerator.

"Peter, get below me. Bellamy!"

"Mark, what's going on?"

"The wind shifted. The rain is blowing in." Said Mark's cracked voice, resulting in Cullen reaching forward to retune the radio for closer frequency.

"Ok, you need to find something to use for cover." Bellamy instructed, looking hastily across to Cullen as she continued fiddling with the radio, trying desperately to remember what Monty had taught her.

"There's nothing here. Look, I'm blocking it from Peter as best as I can. Just hurry, please!"

"Look South. You'll see my headlights in two minutes. I'm—" A loud clap of thunder and a flash of lightning that struck too close to the rover halted Bellamy's words, the man jerking the steering wheel in order to avoid the bolt. Cullen's hand flew out to catch herself on the dashboard, steadying her rocking body as the rover skidded to a stop several feet from a tree. "Are you ok?"

Cullen looked across to Bellamy, securely nodding her head. "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." She assured, readjusting herself in the passenger seat. "Come on."

Bellamy switched gears and craned his neck around, foot pressing on the accelerator to start moving them backwards and back onto the road — the engine began to rev, the sound of tires spinning uselessly against mud filling the atmosphere. Bellamy cursed to himself, switching gears again and pressing harder to move either forwards or backwards; like before, they remained in place, tires spinning deeper into the mud they were mired in. They were stuck, helplessly looking around themselves for a way out of the situation — the first thing that came to Cullen's mind was her getting out and walking to where Mark and Peter were.

After a moment of them sitting there, silenced by their own thoughts, Bellamy tried to move the rover again, only to be met with the same outcome. As he was trying for a fourth time, Mark's voice came through on the radio, "Bellamy, I don't see the lights. Where are you?"

He was frozen, knuckles turning white around the steering wheel. Cullen forced her eyes away from the lightning lighting up the sky to look across at Bellamy, who was making no move to retrieve the radio. Instead, she reached forward, trembling fingers clicking on the responding button before she stuttered out, "Just—just a minor delay. Just hang on."

"No! No! No, we can't! We can't! How long?" Mark screamed over the radio.

"Cullen, Bellamy, what's happening?" It was Kane's voice speaking over the private radio, only sparking more emotion on Cullen's behalf. "Answer. What minor delay?"

Seeing that Bellamy wasn't going to reach for that radio, either, Cullen did. "We're stuck in the mud. The rover won't move." Said Cullen, before her neck turned in the direction they were headed — she could make two minutes down the road. She could make two trips, and hopefully they'd both still be alive when she got them back to the rover. "I could try and get them, but the rain..."

"Negative. They won't make it without covers." Kane answered.

As Cullen opened her mouth to stutter out another suggestion, Bellamy took the radio from her hand. "Gonna use the wench to get us out."

"What? No." Cullen refused, throwing her body forward to stop Bellamy from moving into the back of the rover.

"Negative. Bellamy, you have no suit and I can hear the rain over the radio. Please, just wait for the storm to pass — both of you. Is that clear?"

On the other radio, Peter's loud choking came through, followed by Mark's desperate voice saying, "Bellamy! Peter needs help now, right now! He can't breathe!"

"If you go into that storm, three people die instead of two." Said Kane, Cullen's wide eyes moving to watch Bellamy's face crumble. The realization he couldn't save two more lives dawned on him, glistening in his eyes as tears pricked at his waterline. "You're out of options. It's time to let go."

"You said you'd be here. Where the hell are you?" Mark's voice demanded.

Instead of moving out the rover like Cullen expected him to do, Bellamy clicked on the private radio. "What am I supposed to tell them?"

"The truth." Kane answered, Cullen's head beginning to slowly shake as she slipped back into the passenger seat, face falling flat as she watched the rain hit roughly down on the windshield.

"I can do it." Cullen whispered, keeping her eyes forward.

But Bellamy didn't answer her. His left hand reached out for the radio that connected him to Mark and Peter, while his right sought out Cullen's grip in her lap. Both of her hands coated his trembling fingers, squeezing his palm before bringing his knuckles up to her lips, kissing them tenderly as he said, "Mark. Peter. I can't get to you."

"What? No. We'll come to you. Please, I can carry him."

Tears began blurring her vision as she continued to comfort him through this little bit of touch — a little bit that Bellamy leaned into, biting back the frown that threatened to unleash his tears. "It's too far, Mark. You won't make it."

"We won't make it here!"

"Look. I—I am sorry. You just—" Bellamy cut himself off, lowering his head as he choked out, "Your only chance is just to wait a little longer, and when the rain stops, I can dig out."

"My son is dying!" Mark screamed through helpless sobs. "He's dying right now! You said that you would help us. Please!"

They were beat. There was nothing else either of them could do to help Mark and Peter except sit there and hope they could survive the rain. It was an ironic thing how hope could change drastically according to a situation; you could hope to survive, or you could hope that if death came, it wouldn't be painful. It was why Cullen allowed her tears to fall, and that when Bellamy pulled his hand away from her lips to start punching the steering wheel in frustration, she let him.

He cried out loudly as she sat there in silence, him hoping for any solution to come through brightly, and her hoping they wouldn't suffer too much on their lead up to death. She hoped that death wasn't painful for them, and that in whatever form of afterlife was offered to them, they could find each other and spend the rest of forever together. Of course, Cullen knew Bellamy's way of hoping was much more rational than hers, but he hoped with his heart, and she hoped with her soul.

Eventually, she reached out and caught his fists, stopping them from beating on the steering wheel further. He was crying as the rover died down, the loud rumbles of thunder not being enough to mask the defeat that fell from his lips in tortured sobs.

"You tried." She said after a while, thumbs running over his knuckles as a soothing mechanism — it wasn't working, but he hadn't told her to stop. "You tried, and you can say that with confidence. It's impossible to save everyone, Bellamy."

Bellamy shook his head. "I made a promise. I promised to protect them, no matter what. So, not only am I failing myself, I'm failing them, too."

"Two died, but more than four hundred survived. You can't blame yourself for things that are out of your control." She finally looked across to him, seeing a broken man just trying to duck tape himself back together. He didn't deserve this torture — he didn't deserve to be the person who people constantly relied on, then blamed him when he wasn't able to deliver them the sometimes impossible things they asked for. He didn't deserve to have to duck tape himself back together, just to be