nineteen . . . testing your limits
( january 28, 2150 — ice nation territory )

          AS INDRA HAD ordered, their next destination was the trading posts bordering the Ice Nation territory. When Cullen found out their location from the Trikru woman, she was initially worried on their behalf — the Azgeda warriors she had already met did not seem friendly enough for Cullen to want to step foot onto their land willingly, never mind in search of the symbol their Queen was desperate to behead.

Nevertheless, she followed in after Kane when they reached a trading post where Indra was sure she'd be able to get some information. The woman they met, who Cullen distinctly remembered was called Niylah, was being beaten to a pulp by an Ice Nation bounty hunter in demand for the information she had on Wanheda's whereabouts. Fortunately, Bellamy had entered the trading post with enough time to shoot the man dead before he was able to amputate Niylah's hand — this seamlessly gained them enough leverage to ask if Niylah had noticed Clarke pass through.

According to Niylah, Clarke had been there the previous night, and disappeared while the woman was asleep. She stated very clearly that Clarke hadn't shared any indication as to where she was headed, but tipped them off by saying the bounty hunter Bellamy had shot dead had a partner, and he was of Ice Nation. Niylah assumed he had come back for Clarke, and that that would be where the sky girl was being taken. It hadn't taken much for Niylah to tell Skaikru and Indra whatever information had on Clarke, which Cullen was sure to thank her for before they left.

From there, Monty was able to find fresh tracks leading into the woods — two sets of footprints, one that seemed a bit distorted. Unfortunately, the tracks were surrounded by trees, meaning them having to leave the rover at Niylah's trading post if they wanted to continue their search for Clarke; they had come so far, and Bellamy more than anybody was not willing to give up.

They had been walking for a while, the January sun heating the back of Cullen's neck as she walked alongside Monty and Hannah, Bellamy and Pike not too far behind them, Indra leading the way with Kane close behind her. The Trikru woman was in full concentration mode, taking the lead above Pike, who had been asking Bellamy various questions since they left the trading posts.

Cullen hadn't spoken much — she was focusing on keeping herself awake more than anything. She, and everybody else, hadn't slept in over twenty-four hours, meaning their systems were close to crashing. And while Cullen didn't depend on sleep heavily, she could feel herself becoming more and more exhausted as they treaded through the grass plain.

Beside her, Monty and Hannah were speaking to each other in hushed tones, determined not to disturb Indra as she concentrated. Cullen didn't pay enough attention to them to hear what they spoke of, her ears pricking to scope out if Bellamy and Pike spoke of anything interesting. They didn't, Cullen noticed, until Hannah began to pick up her pace, Monty following quickly after her; the Vander female lagged behind, too tired to put effort into her steps if effort was not needed.

It was when Cullen heard Pike say, "Can I ask you a question?", that she began to intensify her eavesdropping skills.

"Last report we got on the Ark, you were under attack by Grounders. What changed?" Asked Pike, enabling Cullen's eyes to zone in on Indra.

She knew what incident Pike spoke of: the war against the Grounders at the dropship when the hundred delinquents first arrived on Earth. She had only heard two versions of the story, and from what she could comprehend, it was neither Trikru's, nor the delinquents' doings. There was a misunderstanding, involving territory, the burning of a village, and the massacre of three hundred Grounders. From what Miller had told her, the Grounders made the first shot by spearing Jasper through the chest — and from what Octavia said, it was subconsciously their doing, as the dropship had landed in the Woods Clan territory, and the flares they had sent up to signal to their people that they were alive had accidentally burned a village to the ground.

And the massacre: Clarke's doing. Apparently, she fried three hundred Grounders from inside the thing that cooked them. Cullen wouldn't be wrong in assuming that rose the tension between Skaikru and Trikru.

"Well, it turns out, we had a common enemy." Bellamy answered, eyes remaining on Cullen's back. He saw the way her shoulders tensed, and how her walking pace altered ever so slightly.

"What happened to them?" Pike further questioned, making Cullen pale.

"We won." The Blake man deadpanned, wishing for the conversation to be over. Similar to how Cullen had reacted, Bellamy's frame grew extremely rigid upon mentioning the events that took place in Mount Weather — he despised speaking of it as much as she despised hearing of it.

There was a pause, before Pike's voice lowered. "Is that where she's from?"

Cullen could feel both of their eyes on her now, watching her every movement. Pike's question made it evident he was as weary of Cullen as she was of him, though she couldn't think of what threat she posed. Pike was the one disguised as Ice Nation — Pike was the one with an obvious hatred towards the Grounders. Like Kane had said, Cullen was just somebody they had met when they landed; she knew she didn't have to prove her loyalty to Charles Pike, whomever he may be.

She wasn't the only person bothered by Pike's questions — it irritated Bellamy. Not for reasons one might think: that Cullen's existence reminded him every day of how many people he had killed inside of Mount Weather. That Cullen, though she had joined their population, was a liability because of who she was — the last of the Maunde Men, and a person who possessed black blood.

No — it irritated Bellamy because he didn't want people to question Cullen. She was Skaikru, whether or not she was born in space. She had proved her loyalty, and deserved to be of the title as much as the next person. It irked Bellamy, because despite them not talking properly in three months, this need inside of him that beckoned for him to keep Cullen Vander safe hadn't settled; not once, and it was extremely provoking to the Blake man.

"Cullen is Skaikru." Is all that Bellamy said.

The smallest of smiles curled against the corners of Cullen's lips, her catching herself before the emotion could blossom further. She knew she was Skaikru — she had been from the moment she decided to help Clarke get into Medical back in Mount Weather — but she couldn't deny the alleviation she felt when hearing somebody say it.

She picked up her pace then, returning to Monty's side just in time to hear Indra call for everybody to be quiet. In the near distance, the sound of drumming invaded the atmosphere.

"War drums?" Kane questioned in a whisper.

Indra nodded, and spat out the word, "Azgeda."

"You can tell it's Ice Nation from the sound?" Asked Monty, glancing around him. Cullen was doing the same, trying to determine which direction the noise was coming from, when her eyes settled on several dead warriors not too far from them.

"No. From them." Said Indra.

Everyone was moving, Cullen joining Bellamy in raising her rifle, looking through the scope and into the distance. She scouted as Pike said something from behind them, Kane's confirmation sending them across the grass plain and towards the bodies of the dead warriors. Cullen scoped South while Bellamy had North, their ankles touching in a way they hadn't recognized always happened when they were alert next to each other.

"Wait. Two people at twelve o'clock." Bellamy signalled, making Cullen swing around to look in the same direction.

It was Clarke, gagged, and chained to a man who was facing away from them.

"It's Clarke." Cullen murmured, unable to remove her eye from the scope. Unlike her frozen stance, Bellamy lowered his rifle and was suddenly sprinting, alarming Cullen to lower her own rifle. "Bellamy, don't!" She hissed, her pathetic attempt to reach forward and take hold of his jacket sleeve going amiss.

She scurried after him, almost slamming into his back as Pike struck an arm out to stop the Blake man from hurdling himself any further.

"You'll never make it in time." Pike roared, practically shoving Bellamy backwards into Cullen's body.

"He's right. Look." Monty appeared beside them, cupping Cullen's elbow in order to steady her.

Cullen moved around Bellamy, raising her rifle in line of his own. Through the scope, she saw a whole army of people marching along the plain of grass, a tight formation stretching for miles in a line. Her frown deepened, slowly lowering her rifle to pass Monty a look, before her eyes flickered up to watch the side of Bellamy's face.

"No way we get across without being seen." Monty told the man. Bellamy lowered his rifle, turned, and raised it again to look through the scope at where he had spotted Clarke.

"We should lay low, let the army pass. Then we find Clarke." Said Pike.

Cullen, hating to admit that she was agreeing with the man she had quickly accumulated a distaste towards, moved around Bellamy once again, and practically forced him to look at her. There was clear distress on his features, concern for Clarke's well being after noticing she had been gagged and chained to that man. Inside his blackened irises, there were more emotions flickering around them then Cullen could count on both of her hands, and that concerned her.

"We'll get her back, Bellamy." She assured, moving her eyes between his. She made the clear mistake of allowing her gaze to drop to his lips, where a frown was framing them sternly — she quickly looked away, and softened her stare in the hopes of easing his. "We passed a cave not far back. We'll wait there until the army has passed, and then we will go and get her. Until then, we'd be doing Clarke more harm than good barging through that army."

Bellamy knew she was right — and by the way his shoulders sagged and his grip loosened around the rifle, Cullen knew he knew she was right. It only took him nodding firmly for them to backtrack on themselves to the cave Cullen had spotted, where they'd lay low until it was safe for them to go after Clarke.

They began moving, needing to move the several dead warriors away from the Ice Nation army. Bellamy, Monty, Pike, and Hannah all moved to do so, while Cullen stopped herself between Kane and Indra, passing them both a look before saying, "There's a cave over there. We thought it best for us to wait there until the army has passed, then we'd go after Clarke."

Kane nodded. "Good plan."

"I can't go with you." Said Indra, looking at Kane. "Ice Nation has crossed the border. They're marching against my Commander. I have to warn her."

"We'll get Clarke." Kane assured her.

"You better. If the Ice Queen gets her first, she'll be dead, and we'll be at war." Indra finalized, nodding once more to both Cullen and Kane, before sprinting in the opposite direction of the army.

Cullen blinked, green eyes following Indra until she disappeared between the trees. "How encouraging." She murmured, before glancing up to Kane.

He frowned ever so slightly, eyes moving to see that the bodies of the dead warriors had been moved out of sight of the Ice Nation army. Kane sighed, placed a hand between Cullen's shoulder blades, gently nudging her forward. "Lets go to the cave."

They did just that, and it was two or three hours later, and daylight was still burning brightly in the sky, and the Ice Nation army was still marching along the plain of grass that separated them from Clarke. Cullen was sitting comfortably beside Monty on the ground, and every so often, her eyes would move to watch over Bellamy, who had done nothing but pace back and forth in front of the caves entrance. He hadn't let go of his rifle, and the defeated look she had hammered onto his features hours earlier still lingered there, just as painfully present.

It was odd for Cullen to think that at some time, she was able to anticipate Bellamy's actions just by watching how he held himself. In Mount Weather, if his body went even the littlest bit rigid, she knew they were in danger. If he was moving faster and lighter on his feet, they were trying to get the sneak on somebody, so they could have an advantage. Now, however, he just slummed, walking with tight shoulders and a firm grip around the weapon he was so willing to use. He wasn't radiating any signs that had Cullen worried, she just found herself temporarily upset by the fact Bellamy was a stranger to her now — her doing, of course, but she realized she liked knowing what Bellamy's body told her.

She finally tore her eyes away from the man when he marched his way to Kane, speaking miscellaneously to the Chancellor's second. When Pike moved to join them, Cullen angled her head in Monty's direction, and offered him a half assembled smile.

"How you doing?" She asked the question she knew would distract herself the most.

Monty shrugged. "As good as I can be doing." He said, and a few seconds passed before his gaze floated across to Hannah, who sat not too far from them. "With everything that's happening with Jasper, and now finding my Mom — I don't know what to feel."

"Relief?" Cullen offered.

"Confusion." He opted, looking back to Cullen. "Why wouldn't she tell me about my Dad?"

Cullen frowned. "I don't know, Monty. Maybe it's too painful for her to remember, and that's why she can't tell you. Telling you would mean reliving it, and if it's bad enough for her to not want to tell you, maybe you could find it in yourself to not make her relive it."

They fell silent shortly after that, Cullen's head finding its way onto Monty's shoulder, where she allowed her eyes to shut. She knew there wasn't a hope in hell that would allow her to sleep in their current circumstance, but resting her eyes seemed like the next viable option — that was, until, Hannah shuffled closer to them, and Monty couldn't seem to remember Cullen's words.

"I need to know what happened." Monty said to his Mother. Cullen cracked her eyes open in time to see Hannah's doubtful features beginning to refuse her son of what he wanted. "Please."

"We landed in the snow. Your Father said it absorbed some of the impact. That's why we survived. The snow looked so beautiful, it—" Hannah choked, tears of remembrance glistening in front of sorrowful eyes. "Charles?"

Cullen's eyes switched across to Pike, who nodded wordlessly to the Green woman. "The children were playing in it. They were the first to die." He wandered over, and took a seat in front of Cullen and Monty. "Fifteen of them. If not for your Father, it would've been more. He pulled four kids back into the ship, all four alive today. They got him when he went back for the fifth. Your Father died a hero, Monty. We've been fighting Grounders ever since."

Monty sniffled, neck craning towards the ground as tears brimmed his brown eyes. Cullen's arms wrapped around Monty's, thumbs rubbing circles against the bare skin of his wrist, her head still burrowed into the crook of his neck. Her body shook as sobs racked through his, his head shortly falling on top of hers, fingers squeezing in between Cullen's.

"That was Ice Nation." Kane said. "Not all Grounders are the same."

"They are to me." Pike finalized, and all fell silent.

From across the cave, Bellamy's eyes remained attached to Cullen and Monty's conjoined hands. He watched how she comforted him, from rubbing his skin soothing, to talking to him in a hushed tone for only the two of them to hear. Monty was nodding his head, the tiniest smile curling against his lips as the female beside him openly grinned, the expression twisting Bellamy's stomach uncomfortably. Even in the darkness of the cave, Cullen's undeniable beauty could be recognized, and Bellamy shortly found himself remembering the smoothness of her skin against his own, and the way her fingers squeezed between his comfortingly.

He lowered his head, shaking it to himself as he stalked back to the entrance of the cave. As his eyes scanned their surroundings, Bellamy forceably pushed all thoughts of Cullen Vander to the back of his mind.

♥️

          CULLEN WASN'T PAYING much attention to what was being said around her. She had since moved away from Monty's side and further into the cave, where she rested her head on her jacket she had balled up on the ground. It had been Kane who advised her to at least close her eyes for a while, the man being able to identify the female shutting down. She wasn't asleep — she couldn't sleep with everything that swarmed her mind — but she was pretending to do so. Pretending to be asleep meant nobody trying to talk to her, and not talking meant she was able to hear Monty explain the events in Mount Weather, per Pike's request to know more about it.

"Forty-three of us got out alive. We did what we had to." Said Monty, making Cullen smile. Only forty-two sky people were inside Mount Weather when the killings happened, meaning Cullen was the forty third person who escaped.

"You did the right thing. Kill, or be killed." Said Pike, the mere sound of his voice wiping the smile straight from Cullen's lips. "So Mount Weather is ours now?"

There was a pause. "No. Mount Weather is Cullen's. But we use it for supplies." Said Kane.

"It's Cullen's?" Pike repeated, the need for clarification in his tone.

"Yeah." Kane answered. The sound of shuffling introduced his next words, "Cullen's from there. It's hers."

It was an agreement Abby and Kane had set up with Cullen once every dead residence was taken out of Mount Weather. The supplies the mountain offered were too beneficial to pass up, and Cullen was more than aware of this, which was why she gave them the right to whatever was inside — with the agreement she'd never have to step foot inside again. Now, it belonged to Skaikru, under the rule of Cullen, the last standing man of her people.

She hated it. Cullen disliked authority, she never wanted to be in charge of anything, but Mount Weather was different. Abby and Kane felt guilty for what had to happen to Cullen's people in order for their people to survive, which was why them using the mountain's supplies went through her. As often as she told them she didn't