Y/n's POV

We were sitting at the lunch table, I was pretty happy. Today was going good, no hiccups so far. I was sitting beside Adam, which was nice cause I only got to sit with him that first day here. Only two more class periods and I would be at practice. The only two things I was worried about was, no Charlie and Fulton, and I planned on talking to coach about the captain deal. I don't really know how it was gonna work out to be honest, but he could give the captain spot to Averman or Goldberg for all I care. I just wish Charlie and Fulton would come back.....

We came out of the locker room in our gear. We began our warmups when Coach walked in. He went to his office for a second and came back out. He stood in the middle while we were warming and I decided to go up to him.

"Hey coach." I said.

"What's up." He said.

"I was just wondering if I could talk to you after practice if you have the time?" I asked.

"Sure, I'll be in my office for a little bit after." He said.

"Ok, thanks." I said.

"No problem, now get back to warming up." He said. I nodded and got back in line. Coach wasn't actually rude if you talked to him. He was a halfway decent dude to be honest. I skated around and we were finally done with warmups. We did everything we've done at practices. Worked on defense, pretty much the same things. The team was pretty weird today, mostly cause everyone was thinking about Charlie and Fulton. It was destined to happen sooner or later. That day I told charlie that either him or Coach was gonna quit he said, I doubt I'll be quitting anytime soon, that changed a lot. I stuck beside Adam most of the time. There was only about 20 minutes of practice left when coach's phone went off in the office. He told us to ignore it. It went off again. Ignore it. Went off again. Ignore it. Went off again. He decided to answer it. He told us to take a knee while he went the office. As he was talking we waited, talking a little bit. After a minute or two coach came out to us. Something looked wrong, but I don't know what. He stood in front of us for a moment looking.

"I was just on the phone with your old Coach... I'm sorry to be the one to tell you all, but Hans, the man who ran the local hockey shop where many of you are from, passed away today. Practice is over, you guys can go to the locker room." He said. You know that feeling when your stomach drops and you feel it in your throat? Yeah that just happened. I looked to Adam and he had the same look. The whole team looked sad. Even the ones who didn't even live around Hans were. Hans was like a cheerleader for us towards the end of the Goodwill games. Slowly everyone got up and went to the locker room. No words were said as we changed. I walked out of the locker room with Adam, I only got a little further when I heard coach.

"Y/n, do you still wanna talk to me, or another day..?" Coach asked.

"Uh.... might as well do it now." I said.

"Want me to wait for you?" Adam asked.

"You don't have to, you can go ahead and go to your dorm if you want." I said. He nodded and I turned and followed coach to his office. I didn't feel like talking considering what just happened, but I might as well get it over with.

"So what did you wanna talk about?" He asked sitting down.

"Um, about me being captain. This might be a bad time to tell you, but it's just not what I want to be. Being captain just isn't something I've ever wanted to be, don't get me wrong I'm grateful you thought I could do it, but I just don't really wanna do it anymore." I said. I let out a nervous breathe while he thought for a second.

"Why do you not want to be captain? Almost everyone I've ever met wants to be captain." He said.

"I don't know exactly. I just wanna play, I could care less if I have titles like captain or co captain anything like that. Captains are usually what people think represent the team, and I know I'm not someone who needs to be representing the team." I said.

"Why shouldn't you be representing the team?" He asked confused.

"Because I'm not like the star player or the picture perfect hockey player or anything near that. I'm not even from the original team, it just doesn't feel right to me." I said.

"Listen y/n, the reason I made you captain because I seen you as someone who would do a good job of representing the team. I was gonna keep Charlie as captain, but his attitude just wasn't what I thought of as a captain. You on the other hand have been a good player to me. You aren't bitter with me, you work good with the team, and you're a hell of a player." He said.

"I get that, kind of, but I just don't think I'm the best option for captain. Anybody would be better, like Connie, Julie, Guy, any of them. Charlie worked best as captain, but he ain't really a option right now." I said.

"I know, I would've liked having Charlie as captain. I was promised a lot from him when I was told I was getting to Coach Team USA. He just reacted poorly to me and that wasn't who I needed as captain." Coach said.

"Yeah I know....... what if Charlie magically comes back and is the Charlie we had before, will you make him captain?" I asked hopefully.

"Alright we can do that, if Charlie comes back, and he has magically changed, I'll make him captain. It would only make sense, since you don't want to be captain." He said. I knew he was trying have me second guess being captain or not, but I have my mind made up.

"Sweet, it's a deal. I bet he'll come back. Somethin will change and he will be back." I said.

"If you say so." Coach said.

"Well thanks for talkin with me, I'll get out of your hair now." I said getting up.

"No problem, you can talk to me whenever you need to." He said. I smiled with a nod and walked out of the office. Charlie better get his butt back here. I walked for a moment and noticed someone walking. I looked in the bleachers to see Adam.

"Why'd you wait on me?" I asked as he joined me.

"Cause I wanted to." Adam said smiling.

"You realize when I said if you want, I meant go to your dorm right?" I said.

"Well you never said specifically so." Adam said. I rolled my eyes at him. I was happy til I remembered why we were leaving this early. I can't believe he's gone... Hans was like my old person. I mean that in the nicest way, he was my oldest best friend. I stopped by the shop every weekend whether I had Adam or not.

"What's wrong, did coach say something?" Adam asked snapping me out of my thought.

"No, it's Hans." I said.

"Oh... he's in a better place now. I know it sucks that he's gone, but he's gonna be watching over us through all of this. You meant a lot to Hans, you were like a granddaughter. He won't ever be fully gone, you still have his memory and spirit. And besides Hans wouldn't want you being sad over him." Adam said as he put his arm over my shoulders pulling me towards him.

"It's not just him, it feels like I loose everyone important to me. I lost my Nana, my best friend, my parents, and now Hans. And Charlie left while he was still mad at me. I just feel helpless ya know?" I said. He looked at me for a moment. His face was a mix of sad and debate.

"Why do you feel helpless?" He asked.

"I feel like I should be there to stop it from happening. It feels like it's my fault. Why wasn't I there when my Nana fell, why wasn't I there to talk to my bestfriend when she was in the hospital bed, why didn't I talk my parents into staying home, why did I visit Hans or be there to help him. Why couldn't I just be there for them." I said. I could feel the tears brimming my eyes, I don't like crying one bit. I hate crying in front of people especially.

"None of its your fault. You couldn't of known any of that was gonna happen. You were there with them to make their lives better while they were here. You couldn't have stopped it, it was their time. I know if there was a way for you to help them, you would be doing it. Don't blame yourself y/n, that's the last thing you need to do." Adam said. I thought about what he said as a tear slid down my cheek. I wiped it off and stayed quiet for a moment.

"I can't just stop from thinking it's my fault... I don't know why I do, I just can't stop thinking it is. I can't explain it, all I know is I feel horrible." I said.

"All I can say is none of it's your fault. You can't prevent it, it's just how life goes. Blaming yourself is the last thing you need to do." Adam said. I didn't realize we were at our hall already. Adam stopped outside his dorm and pulled me into his chest.  I wrapped my arms around his back as he held me. I don't know what it was about him holding me, it made me feel safe. We stood there for a little just hugging.

"Do you want to hangout in my dorm, whatever his name is said he was gonna be out with his girlfriend tonight." Adam said.

"Sure." I said. He opened the door and we walked in. He took his jacket off and laid down in the bed. I crawled in next to him and snuggled up to his side. Adam had this mini tv at the front of his bed he had turned on. Shocker, he had it on Fresh Prince of Bel-air. It was only like 4 but I was tired. I tried staying up, but that never works for me.......