﹙ TAKE A BITE ★ ﹚

CHERRY SPUN AROUND IN HER STOOL!

Her phone died a couple of minutes earlier and she wasn't in the mood to talk to Colby. She wasn't ever in the mood to talk to Colby. She had nothing against him, he just seriously got on her nerves whenever they spoke.

He didn't even have to try. He was just naturally born annoying. If he didn't use that to bother her, she might've thought it was a little impressive.

"Do you need anything?" Hartley asked the boy inside the machine.

"Yeah, actually, I'm kinda thirsty. Could you grab me that water?" Colby pointed towards the counter.

Hartley smiled and snatched up the bottle, spilling the contents everywhere. The keyboard with all the controls that Vic used to turn Colby back to normal was destroyed.

"Jesus! Hadley!" Cherry yelped, both girls searching the room for something to clean up the mess with.

"What kind of evil lair doesn't have paper towels?" Hartley began to panic.

Both girls backed up when the machine started to glow. The water shorted out the console and turned Colby into a frat-aged guy.

Colby used the metal of the machine to stare at his reflection. "That's me? Whoa, I'm a major hottie!"

"I gotta fix this!" Hartley returned to the control panel and began to smash every button.

"Hartley, that'll make things worse." Cherry warned, joining her friend's side.

"Good idea, Hartley! If things take a bad turn, just start hitting random buttons." Colby nodded in support.

The machine started up again, except this time, he was way older.

"Why do I have the sudden urge to question all my life decisions and spend all my life savings on a sports car?" Colby looked over at the pair.

"Probably because of this?" Hartley tossed Cherry's phone into his lap so he could use the reflection as a mirror.

"Now I'm old!" Colby groaned, lifting a hand to his cheek. "What happened to the hottie?"

"Let's keep pressing buttons." Cherry suggested, smashing the keyboard again.

"I thought you said it was a bad idea!" Hartley reminded, leaning against the counter.

"It's our only idea!" Cherry retorted.

"Aging 30 years in a day has me so confused." Colby laid back on the couch. "I don't know whether to play Little League or coach it."

"You're older than your dad." Cherry reminded him.

Eva and Vic pushed the front door open, holding a tray in their hands.

Harley stood up, crossing her arms like a worried parent. "There you are! Where have you been?"

"You left me with this senior citizen. With this-" Cherry paused, trying to think of an insulting word for old. "With this senile man!"

"I can't Google that but I bet it's mean." Colby scowled.

"Well, Gara's retirement bash got canceled, so we had to improvise and steal a cake from some kid's birthday party," Eva informed Hartley, holding out the tray."

"Won't be a happy birthday for you, Johnny!" Vic read out the name on the cake and then looked up at the old man. "Who's this?"

"It's me, Colby!" Colby said.

"I kind of spilled water on your console, and then everything sparked, and then he turned 20, and then he turned into that." Hartley motioned to Grandpa Colby.

"He's gonna be on life support soon." Cherry patted his shoulder. "Everyone get ready to say your goodbyes."

"Mom, can you please make me a sandwich? And don't forget to cut off the crust." Colby made a motion of using a knife.

Eva gasped at the specifics and looked up at her husband. "It is Colby! My son is older than me. Fix this."

"I'm on it! I'll be in the lair!" Vic yelped, rushing towards the kitchen. He immediately backed up into the living room. "Hello, Celia. Robert, you really don't have a problem with your lady just waltzing into tenants' homes?"

"Hey, I may be the chief of police, but she's the chief of everything else!" Robert grinned, wrapping his arms around the woman.

"Taught him that on our first date." Celia smiled with pride.

"I need a boyfriend like that." Cherry sank into the couch.

"What are you doing here, Grandma?" Hartley asked, rushing to her grandmother's side.

"I came to tell you that Robert and I are going dancing! Salsa dancing! Things are gonna get hot tonight." Celia gave a preview of one of her dances.

"Okay! Now you two have fun, bye!" Celia tried to usher her out the door.

Celia pointed at Grandpa Colby, who was seated beside Cherry. "Who's this? You don't have someone else living here, do you?"

"No, he's actually-" Vic began, trying to come up with a believable lie.

"The plumber!" Hartley interrupted. "He's a plumber! That's his job. That's what he does for a living. Yup, he plumbs!"

"I know you're new at lying, but that was more lie than we needed," Eva whispered as Cherry buried her head in her hands.

"I didn't call a plumber." Celia narrowed her eyes.

"It was an emergency. A leaky faucet emergency," Hartley explained, the lie growing more complicated with every word.

"Why didn't you call me?"

"Because I knew you were getting ready for your date with Robert!"

"Oh, okay. Did I mention we're going salsa dancing?"

"Yes! Have fun!"

Celia and Robert were almost out the door when Robert demanded to see Grandpa Colby's plumber's license, a license he definitely did not have.

Colby muttered something about having it left it back at the shop.

"There's a ring of scam artists around town pretending to be plumbers to swindle money out of people, and he could be one of them!" Robert pointed an accusing finger at Colby.

"No one scams me or my granddaughter!" Celia joined her boyfriend.

"No, I swear, I'm legit!" Colby sat up straight as if that gave him more credibility.

"I think we should stick around to make sure," Robert peered at Colby. "I think we might have to delay salsa dancing."

"That's okay. The only thing more romantic than salsa dancing is shaking down scammers," Celia said.

"Could I interest anyone in a young child's birthday cake?" Vic asked, holding up the tray.

Nobody was buying the cake distraction. Instead, everybody shuffled into the kitchen to watch Colby fix a faucet that wasn't leaky at all.

Colby kneeled on the ground with a box of tools beside himself. Cherry wanted to make a million different jokes about his situation until she remembered what it'd look like to be mean to a poor old man.

"I'm seeing too much looking and not enough fixing," Robert commented.

"I'm seeing hella ass right now." Cherry said. She was about to laugh at her own joke when she realized how people were looking at her. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me."

"Hurry up down there!" Celia demanded. "The salsa queen wants to dance. You know, some people say I'm the Shakira of Valley View because these hips don't lie!" 

"Lovely." Eva grimaced at the unnecessary information.

"Hey, I think I did it!" Colby said, after moving around a few knobs. 

Suddenly, the top of the sink popped off, spraying a solid stream of water everywhere. Hartley and Cherry ducked out of the way.

"Aha! I knew it! He's no plumber, he's a fraud! Come out from under there so I can book you for swindling these nice people!" Robert urged him.

Colby appeared from under the sink, except he looked much older.

"How long were you down there for?" Celia questioned rhetorically.

"You know the plumber we met earlier? This is his father!" Hartley lied, covering up the spray of water with her hand.

Cherry slid her phone onto the floor. Colby caught a glimpse of his reflection and immediately began to agree with whatever Hartley was making up.

Robert gestured under the sink. "That can't be! I know I saw the other plumber go under there, and he never came back out!"

"Well, to be fair, you have had a lovely distraction around you the whole time." Celia preened her hair back.

"What distraction?" 

"This distraction!" 

"Oh, right! Yes, I did. I guess that's why I didn't see them switch." 

Cherry turned around, pretending to shake her head with disapproval. She made eye contact with Hartley and both girls did their best to not laugh.

"You know, I'm sure the plumber's father does not take kindly to people calling his son a scammer. Isn't that right, sir?" Vic urged, slapping him on the arm.

"Start talking like an old man." Eva whispered as she walked past him.

"You bet your fanny that's right! I built my plumbing business with my bare hands back in the 1800s!" Colby sputtered, putting his hands on his hips.

"See? And he has dementia, too." Cherry said, elbowing him. "1900's."

"1900s!" Colby repeated. "I will not stand for anyone calling my son or my business a sham!" 

"With all due respect, sir, we were just trying to make sure-" Robert tried, but Colby interrupted. 

"The only crime my son ever committed was working too hard!" Colby narrowed his eyes and then faced his mom. "I'm hungry. When do I get pudding?"

"My apologies, sir. I certainly do respect my elders, and I appreciate the history you built here in Valley View."Robert apologized. 

"Well, good! And you-" Colby turned to Celia.

"Slow your roll, pops. You don't want to try that with me." Celia approached the back door, leading Robert behind her.

Vic waited until they were gone to let out a sigh. "Finally! Now I can get back down to the lair and work on getting our son back."