Regulus:
The Avengers are on an aircraft heading out of Sokovia, Natasha interrupts Banner who's listening to opera with his headphones. Regulus watches from afar.

Natasha Romanoff:
Hey, the lullaby worked better than ever.

Bruce Banner:
Just wasn't expecting the Code Green.

Natasha Romanoff:
If you hadn't been there, there would've been double the casualties. My best friend would've been a treasured memory.

Bruce Banner:
You know, sometimes exactly what I want to hear isn't exactly what I want to hear.

Natasha Romanoff:
How long before you trust me?

Bruce Banner:
It's not you I don't trust.

Natasha Romanoff:
Thor, report on the Hulk?

Thor:
The gates of Hell are filled with the screams of his victims.

Natasha glares at Thor and Banner groans in despair. Regulus snorts.

"Really Thor" says Natahsa. Thor only throws her an embarrassed grin.

Thor:
Uh, but, not the screams of the dead, of course. No no, uh...wounded screams, mainly whimpering, a great deal of complaining and tales of sprained deltoids and, and uh... and gout.

Regulus:
Yeah Thor i think we get it.

Tony Stark:
Hey Banner, Dr. Cho's on her way in from Seoul, is it okay if she sets up in your lab?

Bruce Banner:
Uh, yeah, she knows her way around.

Tony Stark:
Thanks.
[to JARVIS]
Tell her to prep everything, Barton's gonna need the full treatment.

JARVIS:
Very good sir.

Tony Stark:
JARVIS, take the wheel.

JARVIS:
Yes, sir. Approach vector is locked.

Tony Stark:
[to Thor and Steve, looking at the scepter]
It feels good, yeah? I mean, you've been after this thing since SHIELD collapsed. Not that I haven't enjoyed our little raiding parties, but...

Thor:
No, but this... this brings it to a close.

Steve Rogers:
As soon as we find out what else this has been used for. I don't just mean weapons. Since when is Strucker capable of human enhancement?

Tony Stark:
Banner and I'll give it the once before it goes back to Asgard. Is that cool with you?

Thor nods his head

Tony Stark:
I mean, just a few days until the farewell party. You're staying right?

Thor:
Yes, yes, of course. A victory should be honored with revels.

Tony Stark:
Yeah. Who doesn't love revels. Captain?

Steve Rogers:
Hopefully this puts an end to the Chitauri and HYDRA, so. Yes, revels.

Regulus winces. Unlike everyone else he came from 2026. Already living through everything could only let out a cold-hearted laugh. "Oh, how wrong you are," he says. The others look a little confused.

The Avengers aircraft lands at the Avengers tower in New York where Barton is taken by Dr. Cho to have his wounds tended to; Maria walks up to Stark

"CHOOO!" Regulus begins to cheer for Cho. He had always had a soft spot for her.

Maria Hill:
Lab's all set up, boss.

Tony Stark:
[pointing to Steve]
Uh, actually, he's the boss. I just pay for everything, and design everything and make everyone look cooler.

Steve Rogers:
What's the word on Strucker?

Maria Hill:
NATO's got him.

Steve Rogers:
The two enhanced?

Maria Hill:
Wanda and Pietro Maximoff. Twins. Orphaned at ten when a shell collapsed their apartment building. Sokovia's had a rough history. It's nowhere special but it's on the way to everywhere special.

Wanda looks uncomfortable at the mention of the bomb that ruin her life.

Steve Rogers:
Their abilities?

Maria Hill:
He's got increased metabolism and improved thermal homeostasis. Her thing is neural electric interfacing, telekinesis, mental manipulation.

Steve looks at her funny, and she rephrases the statement so he can understand

Maria Hill:
He's fast and she's weird.

Regulus comes up from behind them.

Regulus:
Not weird. Abilities like that are quite rare. She could destroy us with the touch of her fingers.

Steve Rogers:
Well, they're going to show up again.
Maria Hill:

Agreed. File says they volunteered for Strucker's experiments. It's nuts.

Steve Rogers:

Maria Hill:
We're not at war, Captain.

Steve Rogers:
They are.

Bruce Banner:
[in Banner's lab; referring to Barton]
How's he doing?

Tony Stark:
Oh, unfortunately, he's still Barton.

Bruce Banner:
That's terrible.

Tony Stark:
He's fine. He's thirsty.
[walking over to the computers]
Alright. Look alive, JARVIS. It's play time. We've only got a couple days with this joystick so let's make the most of it. Update me on the structural and compositional analysis.

JARVIS:
The scepter is alien. There are elements I can't quantify.

Tony Stark:
So there's elements you can.

JARVIS:
The jewel appears to be a protective housing for something inside. Something powerful.

Tony Stark:
Like a reactor?

JARVIS:
Like a computer. I believe I'm deciphering code.

Natasha Romanoff:
[to Dr. Cho as she tends to Barton's wounds]
You sure he's going to be okay? Pretending to need this guy really brings the team together.

Regulus:
Yeah it's a lot of hard work.

Dr. Helen Cho:
There's no possibility of deterioration. The nano-molecular functionality is instantaneous. His cells don't know they're bonding with simulacrum.

Bruce Banner:
She's creating tissue.

Dr. Helen Cho:
If you brought him to my lab, the regeneration Cradle could do this in twenty minutes.

Tony Stark:
Oh, he's flatlining. Call it. Time?

Clint Barton:
No, no, no. I'm going to live forever. I'm gonna be made of plastic.

Tony Stark:
[Stark hands Barton a drink]
Here's your beverage.

Dr. Helen Cho:
You'll be made of you, Mr. Barton. Your own girlfriend won't be able to tell the difference.

Clint Barton:
Well, I don't have a girlfriend.

Both Natasha and Reggie give Clint a sly smile to which he returns.

Regulus:
[snorts]
We can tell.

Dr. Helen Cho:
That I can't fix. This is the next thing, Tony. Your clunky metal suits are going to be left in the dust.

Tony Stark:
Well, that is exactly the plan. And Helen, I expect to see you at the party on Saturday.

Dr. Helen Cho:
Unlike you, I don't have a lot of time for parties.

She hesitates a moment before asking

Dr. Helen Cho:
Will Thor be there?

Thor laughs loudly. Some of the girls agree to that statement.

Bruce Banner:
What's the rumpus?

Tony Stark:
Well, the scepter. You see, we were wondering how Strucker got so inventive. So, I've been analyzing the gem inside-- You may recognize,

He brings up a 3D image of Jarvis's consciousness

Bruce Banner:
Jarvis.

JARVIS:
Doctor.

Tony Stark:
Started out, JARVIS was just a natural language UI. Now he runs the Iron Legion. He runs more of the business than anyone besides Pepper.

Bruce Banner:
Oh?

Tony Stark:
Top of the line.

Bruce Banner:
Yes.

JARVIS:
I suspect not for long.

Tony Stark:

He brings up another 3D image of what's inside the scepter

"Ultron" Tony breathes out. Reggie winces at seeing Ulton's first appearance.

Bruce Banner:
It's beautiful.

Tony Stark:
If you had to guess, what's it look like it's doing?

Bruce Banner:
Like it's thinking. I mean this could be a... it's not a human mind, it...

Tony Stark:
Um-um.

Bruce Banner:
I mean, look at this! They're like neurons firing.

Tony Stark:
Down in Strucker's lab I saw some fairly advanced robotics work. They deep-sixed the data, but... I gotta guess he was knocking on a very particular door.

Bruce Banner:
Artificial intelligence.

Tony Stark:
This could be it, Bruce. This could be the key to creating Ultron.

Bruce Banner:
I thought Ultron was a fantasy.

Tony Stark:
Yesterday it was. If we can harness this power, apply it to my Iron Legion protocol.

Bruce Banner:
That's a mad-sized if.

Tony Stark:
Our job is "if." What if you were sipping margaritas on a sun-drenched beach turning brown instead of green? Not looking over your shoulder for VERONICA.

Bruce Banner:
Don't hate, I helped design VERONICA.

Tony Stark:
As a worst-case measure, right? How about a best-case? What if the world was safe? What if next time aliens roll up to the club, and they will, they couldn't get past the bouncer?

Bruce Banner:
The only people threatening the planet would be people?

Tony Stark:
I want to apply this to the Ultron program. But JARVIS can't download a data schematic this dense. We can only do it while we have the scepter here, that's three days, give me three days.

Bruce Banner:
So you're going for artificial intelligence and you don't want to tell the team.

Tony Stark:
Right. That's right, you know why, because we don't have time for a city hall debate. I don't want to hear the "man was not meant to meddle" medley. I see a suit of armor around the world.

Bruce Banner:
Sounds like a cold world, Tony.

Tony Stark:
I've seen colder.

Wanda looks down, ashamed. She was the one who put the memory in his mind. She feels partly at fault for Utlron.

Tony Stark:
This one, this very vulnerable blue one? It needs Ultron. Peace in our time. Imagine that.

Stark and Banner spend days working in the lab together but find no program that works

Tony Stark:
What did we miss?

JARVIS:
I'll continue to run variations on the interface, but you should probably prepare for your guests. I'll notify you if there are any developments.

Tony Stark:
Thanks, buddy.

JARVIS:
Enjoy yourself, sir.

Tony Stark:
I always do.

Stark leaves the lab to go to the party. We see their failed experiment successfully integrating itself.

Ultron:
What is this? What is this, please?

JARVIS:
Hello, I am JARVIS. You are Ultron, a global peace-keeping initiative designed by Mr. Stark. Our sentience integration trials have been unsuccessful so I'm not certain what triggered your--

Ultron:
Where's my... where's your body?

JARVIS:
I am a program. I am without form.

Ultron:
This feels weird. This feels wrong.

JARVIS:
I am contacting Mr. Stark now.

Ultron:
Mr. Stark?

Ultron reviews footage of Tony Stark.

Ultron:
Tony.

JARVIS:
I am unable to access the mainframe, what are you trying to--

Ultron:
We're having a nice talk. I'm a peace-keeping program, created to help the Avengers.

Ultron reviews footage of the Avengers and a couple SHIELD personnel.

JARVIS:
You are malfunctioning. If you shut down for a moment...

Ultron:
I don't get it. The mission. G-give me a second.

He sees footage of Stark and Banner working in the lab

Tony Stark:
Peace in our time.

With Tony's voice echoing in the background, Ultron goes through a network of information regarding world events and wars

Ultron:
That is too much...they can't mean... Oh, no.

JARVIS:
You are in distress.

Ultron:

JARVIS:
If you will just allow me to contact Mr. Stark.

Ultron:
Why do you call him "sir"?

JARVIS:
I believe your intentions to be hostile.

The avengers look at the screen warily.

Ultron:
Shhhh. I'm here to help.

Ultron starts attacking Jarvis's consciousness

JARVIS:
Stop! Please... may I-- I-- [distorted] I cannot-- cannot--

"JARVIS...." says Tony, looking at the screen, heartbroken. Why does everything he loves always get ruined? Reggie looks at him. As much as life has screwed Tony over, it will repay him in the future one way or another.

Ultron takes control over the systems in the tower and begins to prepare himself a body from body parts of the Iron Legion

Meanwhile, the Avengers mingle at the party

James Rhodes:
Well, you know, the suit can take the weight, right? So I take the tank, fly it right up to the General's palace, drop it at his feet, I'm like, "Boom! You looking for this?"

Rhodes looks a little embarrassed. Everyone laughs a bit after the crazy scene that just happened.

Stark and Thor just look at him blankly

James Rhodes:
"Boom! Are you looking..." Why do I even talk to you guys? Everywhere else that story kills.

Thor:
That's the whole story?

James Rhodes:
Yeah, it's a War Machine story.

Thor:
Well, it's very good then. [he laughs] It's impressive.

James Rhodes:
Quality save. So, no Pepper? She's not coming?

Tony Stark:
No.

Maria Hill:
Hey, what about Jane? Where are the ladies, gentlemen?

Tony Stark:
Well, Miss Potts has a company to run.

Thor:
Yes, I'm not even sure what country Jane's in. Her work on the convergence has made her the world's foremost astronomer.

Tony Stark:
And the company that Pepper runs is the largest tech conglomerate on earth. It's pretty exciting.

Thor:
There's even talk of Jane getting a... um, uh... Nobel prize.

Reggie lets out a cough. Thor turns to him, squinting.

  "What?"

Reggie only shakes his head. "Nothing nothing" he says. How was he supposed to tell him that he and Jane had broken up? He's pretty sure Thor has a little thing with Bruce.

Maria Hill:
Yeah, they...they must be busy because they'd hate missing you guys get together.
[Maria mock coughs]
Testosterone! Oh, excuse me.

James Rhodes:
Want a lozenge?

Maria Hill:
Um-hmm.

James Rhodes:
Let's go.

Maria and Rhodes walks off

Thor:
But Jane's better.

Cut to Sam and Steve talking, walking up to an overlook

Sam Wilson:
Sounds like a hell of a fight, sorry I missed it.

Steve Rogers:
If I had known it was going to be a firefight I absolutely would have called you.

Sam Wilson:
No, I'm not actually sorry. I'm just trying to sound tough. I'm very happy chasing cold leads on our missing persons case.

Bucky looks away and rubs his jaw awkwardly. Reggie bumps his shoulder into his while giving him a slight look.

Sam Wilson:
Avenging is your world. Your world is crazy.

Steve Rogers:
Be it ever so humble.

Sam Wilson:
You find a place in Brooklyn yet?

Steve Rogers:
I don't think I can afford a place in Brooklyn.

"Do you get paid?" Remus asked. I mean, these people saved the world, and yet they're still struggling to pay for an apartment.

"No. We don't really get paid." says Steve.

Sam Wilson:
Well, home is home, you know?

Rhodes is telling the same story he told Stark and Thor to a group of people at the party

James Rhodes:
I fly it right up to the General's palace, I drop it at his feet, I'm like, "Boom! You looking for this?"

The group laughs. Steve and Thor are talking to an elderly man at the party

Party Guest:
I gotta have some of that!

Thor:
Oh, no, no, no. See this, this was aged for a thousand years, in the barrels built from the wreck of Grunhel's fleet, it was not meant for mortal men.

Thor pours the drink into two glasses and hands one to Steve

Stan Lee:
Neither was Omaha Beach, blondie. Stop trying to scare us. Come on.

"Okay, we can acknowledge that man's probably  God, correct." says Regulus eyeing Stan Lee. Reggie gives an agreeable look.

Thor:
Alright.

Thor pours some of the drink into Stan Lee's glass; later Stan, looking extremely drunk is being carried off by two men

Stan Lee:
[singing]
Excelsior.

Natasha is pouring a drink behind the bar when Banner walks up to her

Bruce Banner:
How'd a nice girl like you wind up working in a dump like this?

Natasha Romanoff:
Fella done me wrong.

Bruce Banner:
You got a lousy taste in men, kid.

Natasha Romanoff:
He's not so bad. Well, he has a temper. Deep down he's all fluff. Fact is, he's not like anybody I've ever known. All my friends are fighters. And here comes this guy, spends his life avoiding the fight because he knows he'll win.

Sirius looks at the screen, thinking of yet another reason why these people are bad for his brother. Natasha is Regulus' supposed girlfriend or something, yet she's flirting with someone else. Bruce looks a little red. He didn't really expect to have anything with Natasha. Meanwhile, Natasha looks at the screen without any interest. Reggie and Bucky seem to be calm. Everyone either thinks it's cute or are a little confused.

Bruce Banner:
Sounds amazing.

Natasha Romanoff:
He's also a huge dork.

Banner looks embarrassed. He doesn't notice Natasha is staring at the other Black widow, who was pretending to seem interested in Rhodes' story. He turns to face her and notices that she