𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐄 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐊

04 ‒ weakness of the soul

Sakura decided that she wasn't strong enough.

When did she realise this?

From the very beginning.

It was obvious in the way she lacked grades in taijutsu and ninjutsu.

The way her chakra levels were so low that they could be compared to Konohamaru - the third hokage's grandson.

Despite having precise chakra control, she couldn't do anything about it, not without a guide.

Sakura hated how much the whispers of the people around her affected her.

The way people talked about a civilian being in a team with the prodigious Kakashi Hatake as her sensei, with a jinchuriki whose surname was Uzumaki and with the sole survivor of the Uchiha massacre.

The team was bound to be in trouble, Sakura knew.

She knew from the moment the teams were announced, the way Ino's face wilted when she realised that she wasn't going to be in a team with her precious Sasuke.

But Sakura was so jealous of Ino.

She had a clan behind her, so she had a nice comfy path laid in front of her.

Ino's team was a generational one - Ino-Shika-Cho team, their parents were in the same team and their ancestors were as well.

The other prominent team was the sensory team which would be good for scouting and information gathering, with their sensei being a genjutsu expert, and their clan techniques being so good.

Sakura always held envy deep in her heart, never revealing but always existing.

Then there was Guy-sensei's team, they were an aggression-focused team with close-range, middle-range and a long-range fighter.

She admired everyone for their qualities but at the same time, she wished that she could also have something special.

So what if her genjutsu was good? So what if her memory was even better? So what if her chakra control was the best?

Why did it matter when she was just Sakura Haruno.

It didn't matter in the ninja world what a civilian could do.

In the end, was it bad that she too wanted to bloom like the beauty her name held?

Sakura decided that she wasn't strong enough.

When did she realise this?

From the mission in the Land of Waves.

It was obvious in the way her hand was shaking as she stood in front of the bridge builder Tanzuna when she tried to protect him.

The way that she was dismissed for doing chores by her sensei even when she bested both her teammates - the two people who were basically destined to stand on top of the ninja world.

This dismissal from Kakashi made Sakura very bitter in her heart.

Why did she have to help with the chores when Naruto and Sasuke could train for a long time?

Sakura hated how much the whispers of the people around her affected her.

They never stopped whispering, like a ghost clinging to her soul.

The way people in the Land of Waves reacted to her being a ninja, saying how she should not be doing such harsh work and should focus on remaining pretty.

Was she really worth nothing more than a porcelain vase?

The team was bound to be in trouble, Sakura knew.

She knew it from the moment neither of her teammates paid attention to the puddle on the ground when it hadn't rained in recent days, the way the two had a rivalry that went beyond limits many times.

And yet they were the ones who continued growing, they continued improving like they were beasts.

That moment she realised how out of place she was.

Because in the world with talented prodigies, techniques passed down to you and clan connection, she wasn't even a speck of dust.

Sakura always held the bitterness deep in her heart, never revealing but always existing.

Nothing she did mattered.

So what if she climbed on the top of the tree on her first try while Naruto and Sasuke were struggling?

It wouldn't matter in a world where she was Sakura Haruno.

It didn't matter in the ninja world what a pretty face could do.

In the end, was it bad that she too wanted to fight alongside her teammates rather than standing in the back?

Sakura decided that she wasn't strong enough.

When did she realise this?

From the moment the chunin exams were announced.

It was obvious in the way Kakashi-sensei was surprised to see her there when he expected her to back out due to fear.

The way her concerns of staying lowkey were dismissed, the way Sasuke eyed her warily when she knew Neji Hyuga and how Naruto was surprised to find that she trained outside their team training.

Sakura hated how much the whispers of the people around her affected her.

They didn't stop affecting her ever since she could understand them.

The other genins were judging her for 'dyeing' her hair such a bright and girly shade of pink, focusing more on beauty rather than training.

How was it her fault that her face could sway hearts while their faces could only sway someone's stomach into puking their guts out?

The team was bound to be in trouble, Sakura knew.

She knew it from the moment Sasuke ignored her warnings, fought against Rock Lee and lost, the way Naruto couldn't memorise the line said by the same bitter ravenette and the way they were facing a criminal.

Orochimaru was someone who was considered a huge criminal with an even bigger bounty on his head.

The team was now in trouble.

As expected, Naruto was knocked out by the snake, Sasuke got a curse mark that made him high with fever and her being weak yet conscious.

Sakura had to protect her teammates, because...

That was the only thing she was taught.

Yet in the end, she lived through the favours of her best friend Ino who despite being jealous of not being together with her crush helped her and her new friend and training partner - Rock Lee who was fulfilling his promise to protect her.

Hah, Sakura laughed bitterly at Naruto who kept on asking her questions about her short hair and Sasuke who kept his eyes on her, not one moment did he sway his attention away from her the moment he woke up and got all crazy.

She knew why she didn't die that day.

It wasn't because she was strong or cunning, nothing like that.

She lived solely because she was protected, like always.

Her training with Team Guy only made her average, average enough that she could defeat a loser belonging to Team Sound.

There was no use in crying tears, no point in holding envy and bitterness in her heart.

Because she was weak.

Sakura knew this fact very much.

It wouldn't matter in a world where she was Sakura Haruno.

It didn't matter in the ninja world what a weak ninja could do.

In the end, was it bad that she wanted to be the one to protect herself at least once?

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒

‒ This book is kind of the improvement I would give to Sakura because she was messed so much in canon.