A/N: Someone pinch me because earlier this week I genuinely had to reload the Wattpad app to check whether what I was seeing was true. BUT IT WAS. I actually gained 1 MILLION freaking reads and I just sat there at the table for a while and I was just well... shook to my core. I can't believe I hit the big 1 Million and I'm honestly just waiting for one day to wake up and realise that maybe Wattpad screwed up but no, it actually happened and I'm so happy :( I never expected to grow this big or to garner so many reads but somehow it happened and I will forever be grateful for all the support you guys give. In the same week, I somehow managed to get 700 followers and that means so much to me, you guys can't even understand, I'm so honored to the 700 of you that deal with my announcements and my posts. Every single read, vote or comment really means a lot to me and I'm so so thankful to you guys everytime I update a chapter or I get a DM asking for a request. 

AGAIN THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE WHAT IS HAPPENING THANK YOU, THANK YOU :( 

P.S: I don't know if I mentioned this before but, I'm doing a collaboration with a Wattpad user and we're actually halfway done with the story, and I'm actually pretty excited for you guys to read it when it finally comes out so please stay tuned! (Side note: All requests are still open since I finished most of them, and I only have two left!)

P.P.S: How do you guys find the last part of this series?? Leave your comments below! 

xoxo, 

ASH

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The Next Day

JB: I'm going out

Jackson: Where?

JB: the hospital

Jackson: WHAT?! WHY?! ARE YOU HURT????

JB: Chill Jackson, I'm just going to visit someone

Youngjae: don't we have rehearsal today?

Mark: yeah, don't we?

JB: it'll be fast i promise, besides it's our week off

Bam Bam: who are you and what have you done with our leader???

Jinyoung: guys, just let him go

Yugyeom: but??

JB: I'm going to go and see (Y/N)

There was a brief silence in the KakaoTalk and that was how JB knew that his members had realized the impact of him going to go and visit her in the hospital, if he was willing to use one of his off days which would actually be better spent practising.

Turning off his phone and putting it on silent he borrowed one of the company's cars before driving off to Seoul National Hospital.

Seoul National Hospital

'Hey I'm looking for a (Y/N L/N) please,' JB said while taking off his mask which was muffling his words.

'Do you know what ward she's in?' the nurse asked as she flipped through several sheaves of paper on her clipboard.

'I-,' Jb was cut off when he realised that, no he didn't know what ward she was in.

'I'm sorry but I don't know,'

'Can you describe what she looks like?" the nurse asked, heading to her laptop this time, searching through the system's database.

'Um long ish (H/C) hair? (E/C) eyes?' he mumbled lamely, knowing that there could be so many girls with that description.

A couple of nail-chattering clicks and the nurse finally got back to him.

'It says here, she's in the emergency wing now,' the nurse reported and JB could genuinely feel the blood leaching out of his face. It was as if all the warmth had suddenly been sucked out of the room.

'Sir are you okay?' the nurse asked as he staggered slightly under the weight of the news.

'Yeah, yeah,' JB waved away her helping hand. 'I'm fine, just kind of shocked. I saw her yesterday and she seemed fine so I was kind of shocked when you said she's in the ward, am I allowed to see her?" he asked in an almost desperate tone.

'Are you a family member?" she asked.

Mind working at light speed, JB concluded that it would be better to lie and say he was her brother or something, because he knew of cases where they wouldn't allow anyone except the next of kin and the family into the ward.

'I'm uh-her brother,' he said as fast as lightning, as the nurse let out a small sound of surprise.

'That's well....' she muttered, handing him the registration form and a pen.

'Surprising?" he fought to keep a straight face as he handed her the clipboard back.

'Indeed, for as long as I've worked here, (Y/N) has never had family, in fact there was a time she said that she had no family left. Died of cystic fibrosis every single one of them, poor things, of course it's an inherited disease, all has to do with genetics. The doctors are puzzled at how long (Y/N) has somehow managed to survive with this condition, nearly half her life. In fact, in the past few months she was making some form of progress which astounded her Head Doctor, but ever since maybe... last month? Her condition has deteriorated... for the worse.' the nurse shook her head sadly, as if she had seen too much death...which was not surprising given her job.

'Well, it's nice to know that she has a brother out there to look for her,' she smiled once, glancing over at the details he had given.

'Right down the hall and turn right, the emergency ward will be at the end, she's number 4573,' the nurse pointed down the hallway as JB nodded, bowing once in thanks before nearly sprinting down the hallway.

Creaking the double doors open to let him in, the first thing he felt was the utter silence of the entire ward. It was like a thick heavy coat that was enveloping everything, lodging his voice in his throat, making him unable to speak. Maybe it was the grief of others that stayed his tongue or maybe it was nerves but he shut up nonetheless.

Heading to the left, he quickly found the room number, and he stood out there for nearly 5 minutes, trying to convince himself not to be scared, that it was just (Y/N), that he had to be there for her like how she was for him.

No matter how much he prepared or how much he steeled himself for what awaited, seeing her delicate figure on the bed was still like a punch in the gut, knocking him breathless. Was this really the same girl he had seen just yesterday? That one been full to bursting with life, the shine in her eyes the glint of her smile. He could not reconcile that girl with this broken one that laid before him. Her skin was so pale it was almost see-through her veins stark against her skin and he was almost afraid to hold her hand as he sat down next to her, afraid that if he did, she would break like a porcelain doll. He did it anyway, handling her like how he would glass.

'Hey (Y/N),' he sort of whispered, his voice the only break in the silence that was merely filled with the monotony of the heartrate monitor and the hissing sound of the oxygen mask that was helping her breathe.

'I came today cause I was sort of worried about you know...you, I was sort of looking forward to seeing you after the concert, but I can guess why you left. All this time I didn't know what you were going through, mainly because well, you never wanted to tell me,' he felt the tug of his lips as he imagined her snarky response.

'But hey,' he gripped her hand tighter as if by doing so, he could somehow infuse some life back into her. 'I'm right here okay? Just like hang in there, I'm going to be sitting here every day, waiting for you to wake up and like it or not this face is probably going to be the one you see when you wake up. Whether you like it or not, you're stuck with me for life (Y/N L/N), have always been, will always be ever since you came rushing in to my room with that dumb chocolate bar,' he could feel the tears he was trying to hold back drip down silently on his face.

'Just,' his voice broke off and he took a deep breath before continuing. 'Stay with me. Hold on for me okay?'

'Sir?' a voice interrupted him from the entrance of the door.

'Yes?" he asked as he got up, letting go of her hand.

'This room is for family only,' the attendant said sternly.

'O-of course,' JB bowed before nearly running out of the room.

Time Lapse

He visited her whenever he could, spent all his days into just sitting there, waiting for her to hopefully open her eyes. He became known to most of the staff as the 'fake brother' that they were overjoyed to have found. He kept his identity mostly a secret, glad that he had been able to visit her at all, every moment feeling like it would be his last with her. He waited and waited and waited for her to open her eyes and to greet him with that sarcastic smile he had grown to love, and to tell him off with her sharp wit.

But still, she slept in her induced coma that no prince, even JB could kiss her awake from.

2 weeks later

'JB,' Jinyoung popped his head into the vocal room where his leader was tapping his pencil to a beat that he had composed, trying to come up with lyrics to their new comeback song, but all he was staring at was a blank piece of paper, his mind was somewhere else in the hospital still waiting for her.

'Hmm?" he hummed, looking up to see Jinyoung who was holding his phone that he had left in the practise room because he had not wanted to be disturbed by any messages during his composing process.

'There's this number that's been calling you it keeps asking about (Y/N)?" Jinyoung asked thrusting the phone into JB's hand.

'Mr Jaebeom?'

'Yes?"

'The doctors... they're taking her off the machine,'

The pencil he had been tapping against the table fell to the floor, the sound of it clattering on the floor like a gunshot.

'They can't'

'They wanted to ask your permission, seeing as you're her only living relative,'

'I-well... fine, I'll be there in 20 minutes,'

Groaning, JB put his head in his hands, tempted to chuck his phone at the wall and watch it shatter into pieces. He gave himself 2 minutes to gather his composure although on the inside he felt like he was falling apart.

'I need to go,' he muttered, grabbing his jacket off of the chair.

'Go where? You know we have a flight tonight? World tour? Sound familiar?" Jinyoung asked, blocking JB's way.

'Jinyoung, this is important,' JB glared at him, clenching his jaw daring Jinyoung to continue to barricade his way.

Relenting, he sighed, releasing his hands from the door frame, stepping away.

'Just... get back on time,' he shook his head, of all people he had to say this to JB.

Ignoring his fellow bandmate, he shouldered his way through, not caring what he thought, for now all that was important was her.

Hospital

Hands on his knees, body bent over, JB sucked in several deep breaths as the doctors were startled by his sudden appearance in the room. He had run all the way from the entrance, barely stopping for other people.

'You're her brother?' her head doctor peered from the top of his spectacles and JB had the uncanny feeling that he was being X-rayed.

'Y-yes,' JB gulped, trying to swallow the lie.

'Hmmm,' was all he said before turning back to (Y/N) who looked like she was fading away. He knew they had been feeding her with liquid nutrition, but apparently it wasn't enough. She looked so tiny, so fragile, so different from the wild-eyed, laughing girl he knew.

'She's been under for about 3 weeks,' the doctor said somberly. 'We can't afford to keep her under for even longer, usually patients at this stage, their lungs are basically failing, she can't live without the machine... and it would be more merciful if we just let her go,' he said very matter-of-factly as if he wasn't breaking JB's heart in the process.

'C-can I have a moment with her?" JB stuttered, not even looking at him as he raised an eyebrow.

'Of course you can,' the doctor said, his voice warming up as he saw the distraught look on JB's face.

As soon as the doctor left, JB collapsed into the chair, his tears finally spilling over. He didn't know how many tears he had wasted on this girl, but everytime he saw her they came afresh all over again.

'I know,' he gasped slightly. 'That I should let you go, I know it's what you want. But I can't (Y/N), I can't. You were the only thing keeping me sane while I was in here, and I can't imagine what I would be with you. You fixed me when I didn't want to be fixed. You forced me, pushed me back piece by piece, and you somehow made me a better man than I was. You let me dance again, even when everybody told me I could never do it again,' he was really crying by now, sobbing so hard, he could barely see past his tears.

'But that's the thing I love about you (Y/N), you live life. You don't care what people say. You don't care that you shouldn't be eating chocolate or be bursting into other patients' rooms or attending concerts you aren't supposed to,' he smiled a small watery smile as he said so, somehow managing to laugh. 'See? Even thinking of your stupid actions can make me laugh and you're not even saying anything,' he shook his head, wondering how she could affect her so badly.

'And I know,' his voice dropped to a whisper as he looked at her, the rhythmic breathing as air was forced in and out of her lungs that were filled with fluid. 'That exactly because you love life, that you wouldn't want this one. I want to be selfish, I want so badly to say no and hope that one day you'll open your eyes again. I don't want to give up on you, but, I know if it was me on this bed, you would do the same... and you would let me go,' he whispered, wiping away the tears with the back of his hand.

Standing up on legs that had somehow magically turned to jelly, he kissed her once on the forehead, wishing somehow he had done it sooner. They would have had so much time.

'I love you, you know? I don't know how, but I do,' JB sighed as he pressed the call button for the doctor, turning away to the drawer that was slightly open as if someone had been a hurry to close it.

Cringing at the squeaking sound it made he opened it to see a folded up crumpled up letter and a few dollar bills that looked as if they had been gathering dust in there from the past millennium.

Crumpling up the paper and the money he shoved them in his pocket and nudged the drawer back closed with the side of his hip.

The doctor came in with the exhausted face of someone who has seen too many deaths similar to this.

'Here,' he gently handed JB a sheaf of paper and a pen on a clipboard. It was an agreement regarding the termination of the patients' life, to be signed by the next of kin or in this case, the only 'family member', which was Jaebeom.

His hand trembled as he picked up the pen, the words on the paper blurring into a meaningless jumble of words. He scrawled out a shaky signature in his messy hand and nearly shoved it back to the doctor who read through everything and checked it one more time as if to prolong the inevitable.

'Mr Lim you're sure you have read everything-,' the doctor was about to ask but JB cut him off.

'Yes. Just... do it. Please,' JB sat back down, taking her hand in his again as the doctor heaved a heavy sigh, flipping the paper on the clipboard before placing it on the table.

Fiddling with the machine JB felt as if each second lasted like a millennium, the doctor's hands moving in slow motion as he unplugged this and pressed this button and adjusted this or that wire. JB wondered why the hell he just couldn't get along with it.

Finally, his finger was hovering over the button that would determine whether (Y/N) would live or die. JB closed his eyes as his finger came down, flicking the switch and turning off the ventilator that had been turned on 24/7 to keep her alive. He heard her breathe in once. Twice. And then with the final sigh, she heaved her last breath and her chest fell still.

It was all over. The girl he had come to love without knowing was gone. Just like that. There were a million and one things that he wished he could have said to her.

'I'm sorry for your loss,' the doctor said, his hand falling heavily on JB's shoulder as he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him, maybe giving the young man some more privacy to mourn without prying eyes.

As JB sat down he heard the crumple of paper in his back pocket. Taking out the rumpled, crinkly paper he unfolded it and smoothed it out against the surface of his leg. It was written in different colors of ink and some were neat while others were a messy scrawl, it looked as if she had written it over a span of several days.

I don't know if the person I want is going to find this but I'm going to write it anyway. Maybe the nurse will give it to me when I'm gone and when they check the drawers and clean them out and they'll find this paper and give it to him. I mean they wouldn't want to piss off a dead girl now would they? I'm joking. I don't like to talk about dying. My dad died before I was born so it was like death sort of foreshadowed my family. And then when I was born, my mom got sick, it's the same disease that's killing me now and building up this disgusting fluid in my lungs which makes it so hard to breathe that the more I do it the more I feel like I want to die.

But enough for death. As if my entire life hasn't been tainted with it by now. So I go in and out of hospitals all over the country and they finally chuck me in this place saying that there's this new revolutionary treatment that will save me. Yeah right. All the medicine did was give me more time, and I'm not sure if I wanted that.

But I did it anyway. And then after months of being cooped up like some sort of prisoner, I got tired of going through the motions. I thought:

Hey if I'm going to die, then at least let me cause as much trouble as I can and live as much I can.

So I did it. I sneaked out of rooms, I broke into vending machines, I tried to creep out of the hospital but somehow always ended up caught. I played tricks on the nurses and snuck food into my diet which I was definitely not allowed to.

One of them was a chocolate bar. I had broken into another vending machine in the efforts of curing the much needed craving I had for something sweet. But of course, I got caught. Not before I made the strategic move to run and hide in someone else's room ( hey I was desperate ) and eat it there, buying me at least a few minutes.

So I did that. And there was this guy in the room. He was lying on the bed and he had this terrible scowl on his face and a distant look in his eyes, as if he wanted to be anywhere but here. I could understand that. Sometimes I wanted to run out and never come back but my crap lungs would never even let me get past the elevator.

So there he was, this angry, broken shell of a man and then there's me this wack girl that just pops in his room and eats chocolate right in front of him and he has this sort of surprised look on his face and its hilarious because it looks like he hasn't moved a muscle in weeks.

Of course, they caught me in the end but not before I could see the room number. I didn't know why I wanted to come back but there was something intriguing about him. So, I went back and I got to know who he was, who he used to be and I pushed him