"We had all these plans made to go to New Jersey, and then, at the last minute we have to completely flip it." Abby starts, "There's a lot of dance companies in this country that would have said: "Fine, we're not going", and we didn't do that. We went, some great things happened and some really bad things happened. Now, this week, we're going to Hollywood Vibe right here in Pittsburgh. I want to see a hundred percent from every single one of you. Remember, we're in our backyard. You have a target on your back. So do I. The group number is called "Private Eyes". I'm gonna arm you with a secret weapon. You're going to be using guns in your routine. When you step on that stage, I want you to kill it. Understood? You're gonna blow the competition away."

Pew pew?

"Mackenzie, you went from first to worst in one routine." Abby explains, "You always have to keep working."

She reveals the next headshot as Kenzie nods.

"Nia, you had a pretty dance. I thought you did well, no problem." Abby reveals the next headshot, "Kendall, I understand the costume was an issue. Jill, I'm sure you have something to say about it but I'll tell you what, it doesn't matter what you wear. Ultimately, at the end of the day, it's your technique, that's what you need to work on."

Jill looked annoyed, but Kendall looked a little satisfied.

"Next, Maddie." Abby reveals, "Maddie, you could've been seriously injured. Get the pout off your face, Maddie. You know that you made that mistake, and that's what you get. So, let that be a lesson to everybody: don't change your mind in midair.

Abby reveals the next headshot as a very confused Melissa literally "steals the cameras".

"Chloe, it was good, but obviously, not good enough." Abby explains and moves on, "Next is Genevieve. You were good, but you weren't great. You were probably just scared of the gym floor, but that was not a performance from a national winner."

I was literally first place in the category and I beat Maddie.

Paige

Giselle    Brooke   Genevieve    Chloe

Maddie   Kendall    Nia   Mackenzie

"All right, ladies, the group number, everyone will be dancing except Mackenzie." Abby announces, "I'm gonna enter a trio. Chloe, Maddie, and Genevieve. Paige will have the lead in the group dance for being on top of the pyramid. Kendall, get the look off your face. I can't take any chances this week. I. Need. To. Win."

I. Need. To. Win.

- Abby Lee Miller, 2012

~~~

"I, I love you like a love song, baby." Paige and I sing as we walk to the studio, "I, I love you like a love song, baby. I, I love you like a love song, baby."

Our "singing session" was then interrupted by a bench by the entrance, one that Paige didn't seem to notice.

"And I keep hitting repeat-peat-peat-peat-bench-bench-bench." I stop walking, "Why is there a bench here?"

"It says: To Abby Lee. Love, Jill and Kendall." Brooke reads and we look at each other.

"Typical." We say at the same time and continue our way to the dancer's den.

Later, we rehearsed the group dance with a pretty indecisive Abby.

"Brooke and, um, Nia, switch places." Abby says, "Five, six, seven, go."

We all then started doing turns until Abby tells us to stop. As she continues talking, I stood next to Maddie, arms crossed.

"Did she bend her knee?"

I look at Nia's reflection in the mirror.

"Ten push-ups." Abby tells her, "Figure it out. Go."

I turn around to face Abby as she rolls her eyes.

"Twenty push-ups."

I look over my shoulder to see Kendall starting to do the push-ups.

"Kendall, remember, we only have three days for you not to screw this section up." Abby tells the girl, "Do you understand?"

We're soon dismissed as soon as Abby calls Jill down. We all enter the dancer's den and sit down.

"Abby's acting scary." Chloe comments.

"She's meaner than usual," Paige adds.

As the girls continued talking, I listened to the conversation, not saying anything.

"I'm going to the bathroom." I stand up, "I'll be right back."

I walk out of the dancer's den and walk into studio "C".

Studio "C" is probably the room I most visit now, but anything to make her happy, right?

I get into my starting position for the trio and look at the mirror.

"One, two, three, four." I start dancing, "Five, six, seven, eight, one, two, ugh."

I stop dancing as I take a deep breath.

"I can't remember what comes next." I mutter, "What goes after that?"

I start breathing a little quicker as I feel tears forming in my eyes.

"She's gonna be so mad." I say, "She's gonna be so mad." I start pacing back and forth, taking deep breaths, "She's gonna yell, she's gonna scream, she's going to say that I'm not good enough. No, no, no, no, no."

I then drop to my knees.

"I don't wanna make her angry." I say as I let out a breath, "No, please, I don't want to."

I feel the tears rolling down my cheeks as I take a deep breath.

"She's gonna kill me." I cry, "I need to do this perfectly."

I don't want to see her mad. I don't want her to scream at me over the simplest thing. I just want to make her proud, and how am I supposed to do that if I forget the easiest step? I wanna be as good as Maddie, I wanna be as good as Chloe.

I wanna be as good as myself.

But I'm not good enough.

I'm not good enough and she doesn't want me to let her down.

I hear a knock on the door and I look up.

"Why is this door locked?" I hear Gianna ask.

I quickly clear my throat before saying:

"My mistake! I'll open it now!"

I stand up from the floor and look at myself in the mirror, quickly wiping my tears away, shaking my hands, and letting out a breath before fake-smiling and walking over to the door.

"I was just doing some improv and didn't want to get interrupted." I say, "Sorry for that."

I start my way back to the dancer's den, feeling her gaze on me a little longer.

~~~

My favorite part of the competition this week is that we didn't have to travel on a bus for hours or hop on a plane.

That's what we get for competing right here in Pennsylvania.

"The trio is the hardest thing to space." Abby tells us, "Be conscious of each other on stage."

The three of us start our way backstage, not really talking.

The trio rehearsal had been good. Abby didn't really get mad, well, except for some literal "steps" that got her a little mad, but she didn't really "blow out".

I just hoped we'd win.

"Next up, ladies and gentlemen, coming to our stage is act number 34, "Over and Over"." The announcer says and everyone cheers.

The music starts and Chloe walks onstage, followed by me, followed by Maddie.

Once again, it was good. There weren't any timing or spacing issues.

I'd like to say "perfect", but there isn't any "perfect" in Abby's world.

Also, we were first!