"what do you dream about?"
his question pulls me out of my thoughts, my concentration on the grey sky broken.

"hm?" i hum in response, turning to him.
"what do you dream about?" he asks again, his stormy brown eyes dart from me to the sky as he awaits my answer.
"truly?" i start, "leaving Dema."

the sentence is controversial. no one leaves Dema. i guess that isn't true. there is a small few who try and an even smaller percentage who make it. i know deep down that my answer is stupid - but it's also true.
"how so?" he asks.
"i dream of life outside the walls, outside the control of the bishops, outside the way that things are supposed to be. i dream about myself, how i'd be free, how my life would be different and i dream about you. i imagine you'll be there with me - at least i'd hope so," i say, letting the words fall out of my mouth with no fear of the consequences. he pauses and stares at me for a moment.
"you shouldn't talk like that," tyler says softly, after the silence.
"i'm aware. though you also shouldn't think like that," i say. the stark reminder of his own thoughts and plans of leaving Dema leave him staring at the sky.

"i'm sorry, ty. that was unfair of me," i apologise.
"it is true though," he agrees, a slight nod of his head. me and tyler had spent many an evening in this exact place having similar conversations. since we were kids we've been friends. our spot, the place near the wall where its the lowest, not low enough to climb over but low enough to catch most of the sunset and see the tantalising view of Trench. Trench is the continent where Dema resides, since we were young we have been told many things about Trench. about how unsafe and uninhabitable it is, how the people who do make it outside of the walls, the Banditos, do not survive. most people don't believe in the Banditos, they don't believe that anyone could live outside of Dema. There are a few who believe, but their stories are told in hushed tones in the most hidden parts of Dema. My dad, he believes in the Banditos and ever since my mother died he has become attached to the idea that we could escape.

"what do you dream about?" i ask him, turning his own prying question back on him.
"not much, i feel like my imagination doesn't work. when i do dream, i dream of the future. having a family, a wife and kids," he says.
"i don't think i could ever have kids. not in Dema," i say.
"would you if you didn't live here?" he asks.
"but we do live here," i say.
"yeah but if you didn't," he repeats.
"maybe -" i start until we're cut off.

"what's up guys," josh's voice starts, a little too loudly.
"hey josh," tyler smiles.

"hey," i respond, feeling off from mine and tyler's conversation.
"what you guys talking about?" he asks, dropping down and sitting next to tyler.
"not much," tyler replies.
"boring..." he says, rolling his eyes.
"you're late. busy flirting with debby" i say, teasing him about his crush on our classmate.
"no damn," he laughs, "mom needed help bringing our weekly supplies," he says explains, shaking his head at me.
"how's your mom?" i ask.
"she's starting to get better i guess," he says, shrugging.

Dema is a hard place to live, especially when it takes someone you love. A month and a bit ago now, Josh's brother, Jordan, tried to leave Dema, he was convinced of Bandito clues being sprinkled around Dema and especially the cities of Nills and Andre. There's nine cities in Dema, all named after the bishop that controls them. We live in Nills (it's the second least restrictive city, Andre being first). He attempted his escape but he didn't make it, well he did but he was brought back by the bishops. After he returned, he was brandished with the FPE tattoo they give to the escapees, 'meaning Failed Perimeter Escape'. A week later he was found dead in an alley 3 streets down from his house. We all know he was killed by believers of Neon. Neon is our religion, we believe in the power of Neon and how Bishops can harness this power and distribute it to us. Most believers are "true believers" who don't believe in Banditos, leaving Dema, or not following the bishops. They do however believe that escapees should no longer be protected by the Neon and that they are doing a great service to the Bishops by helping rid them of escapees. As soon as we heard of the tragedy we knew what had happened, but there's no justice not in Dema. I had wondered why the Bishops had brought Jordan back into Nills instead of moving him to a more high security and strict city like Keons or Nico. until his passing we had wondered this but with my dads dwindling belief in neon and the bishops a rumour started suggesting it had been Nicos plan all along, to have someone else get rid of the problem.

"that's good. can we do anything to help?" i ask. we had offered help and support since it happened - they had taken us up on a few offers of picking up supplies or cooking for them but that had been mostly putting a brave face on.
"i don't think so," he nods.
"well you know where here for you dude," tyler says. josh smiles weakly and nods.
"hey ty, are you excited for your birthday?" i say, moving the conversation away from the triggering topic.
"i guess. though i don't like the idea of being old," he laughs gently.
"yeah you're an old man," i agree with a smile.
"yeah. ancient," josh joins in.
"oh ha ha guys. we still meeting for a little celebration," tyler asks.
"oh yeah!" josh says excitedly.

"of course," i say.
"good. don't forget the bandanas, we can't get into 'The Hype' without them," tyler explains.

The Hype is a hidden gem in Dema. It sits between Nills and Andre, it's a small building where the Bishops can't really find, and if they do they don't care too much. it's a place for music and dancing and drinking. every so often they send in believers undercover to make sure there's no talks of Trench, Banditos or Escape. we knew of it as my dad had been a few times with Josh's dad back in the day. we had seen the outside a few times but with tyler finally turning 17, we decided it was finally time to go.

"i should go home. my dads gonna be wondering where i am," i say, it was starting the get late and the sun had set past the wall, that means it's time to go home according to my dad. i say my goodbyes to both boys and head home. i continue to avoid the street where Jordan was killed. for at least a week after there was blood stains in the street. it's a longer walk but i still can't make myself go that way. I pass by the cemetery near my house and say hi to mom, tapping her grave three times as a sign of love and head home.

"hey baby," dad says as i walk through the door.
"hey dad," i shout through the house. walking back to my room i see dad in his room, laying in bed, writing in a little notebook.
"how was school?" he asks.
"it was good," i say, swinging on the doorframe into dads room.
"how's tyler?" he says, with a teasing tone.
"he's fine," i say rolling my eyes. it's been a long time since my dad figured out my little crush on tyler and the teasing hasn't ceased.

"i found some more stuff today," dad says, patting the bed. i plop down on the edge of the bed and cross my legs.
"new symbols," he says, turning the book and papers towards me. i instinctively suppress an eye roll.
"what does it mean?" i ask out of politeness not interest. my dad is obsessed with leaving Dema and thinks he's been finding symbols and clues.
"it looks like a compass but the E is on top. i think it's a clue about where to look," he explains.
"maybe," i smile tiredly.
"and this one, that i found was words," he says, showing me another page. 'you are still sleeping'.
"i don't know what it means but it's from them."
"yeah maybe," i agree again. "i'm going to bed. have fun."

i head back to my room and close the door. before i go to bed, i go into my closet and double check my supplies for tomorrow. a yellow bandana, a modified dress from the supplies we get, it's cut shorter and sewed more fitted - i bought it from a lady my mom knew, tyler's card which i'll give him in the morning and also his birthday present. i made it myself i just hope he likes it.

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word count : 1540
total word count : 1540

hope y'all enjoyed this first chapter. i'll update as much as possible. if you have any questions please comment or feel free to message me. also please vote for this chapter if you enjoyed it !!