[Everyone is standing around a broken coffee maker]

Pein: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Y/N: ...I did. I broke it.

Pein: No. No, you didn't. Tobi? Hidan?

Hidan: Don't fucking look at me! Look at Tobi.

Tobi: What?! I didn't break it. I swear Deidara-senpai! *Clings to Deidara*

Deidara: Huh, that's weird, yeah. How'd you even know it was broken, un? And get off of me!

Tobi: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken!

Kakuzu: Suspicious.

Tobi: No it's not!

Sasori: If it matters, probably not, but Itachi was the last one to use it.

Itachi: Hn. I don't even drink coffee.

Deidara: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Itachi: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that Deidara.

Y/N: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it.

Pein: No! Who broke it!?

Zetsu: Kisame's been awfully quiet.

Kisame: REALLY?!

[Everyone starts arguing]

Pein: [being interviewed by Konan] I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Y/N: Seriously Pein?!

Hidan: You mother-

Y/N: *Slaps Hidan across the face with a broom* No foul language you little shit! Oops...

Itachi: I think you knocked him out. Hn. *Casually drinks tea*

Pein makes his escape cackling like a maniac. "No one can capture me, for I am the almighty Pein!"