cursed memories, broken thoughts

WHEN ELENA woke up, she immediately went to clutch her throbbing head as she was hit pretty hard. She noticed she had ended up on some sort of couch and she strained her ears to listen to the conversation Rose and Trevor were having without making it obvious They were arguing about calling Elijah, so she just laid back and observed the room. It was much different being there, living in this universe than just watching it.

She heard a knock at the door, which suddenly brought her out of her thoughts. Trevor was panicking, but Rose told him that they were family forever. It was sweet, but Elena knew it wasn't going to help. voice conversing with Rose, and she waited patiently to meet the 'noble' brother.

Elijah walks in the room, when he suddenly uses his speed to end up in front of Elena.

"Human, impossible. Hello there," he murmurs, looking at her. "We have a long journey ahead of us, we should be going," he said, before doing his monologue and chopping Trevor's head off. only to be surprised that she hadn't cared that a man was just brutally killed in front of her.

Elena took his arm as he led them out of the old house and into his fancy car. They were driving, when suddenly Elena remembered something. She debated herself on whether she should tell Elijah about the moonstone or not as his plan at the moment was to use it against his brother. On the other hand, she figured it would be a good way to gain his trust.

"Do you need the moonstone?" she asked quietly, and Elijah's head swiveled fast in her direction.

"What do you know about the moonstone?" he asked sharply.

"That you need it to break the Sun and Moon curse. That's why I'm here, right?" she replied. "It's with Katherine under the tomb with the church ruins," she admitted truthfully.

"Thank you for letting me know," they drove in silence, until Elijah spoke up this time. "Why are you being so cooperative?" he wondered, but Elena only shrugged. In her past life, she had bad depression, and in her new life it seemed she also had depression along with some form of survivor's guilt. When she woke up in the hospital, she saw and felt all of the original Elena's memories and feelings and they stuck with her. he was in one of her episodes at the moment she didn't really care what was happening to or around her. That was the only reason she didn't originally go to the Masquerade Ball to party and have fun with her friends and only because she had to be apart from the plan to kill Katherine.

Elijah stared curiously at her through the front mirror, before looking back at the road.

"Your friends aren't coming to get you?" he asked, wanting to make sure there were no threats to him.

"I think they're trying, but they would be too late now," Elena commented, pulling out her phone. She clicked on Jeremy's contact and was about to call him before Elijah snatched her phone out of her hand.

"What do you think you're doing? You may not contact your friends for help," he narrowed his eyes, thinking Elena was going against him.

"I was just going to tell my brother he didn't have to worry. Otherwise there will be a search party out for me," Elena rolled her eyes, grabbing her phone back and clicking on Jeremy's number. It rang once before he picked up.

"Elena? Where are you, I've been looking everywhere," he asked, worriedly.

"I just went out after the whole Katherine thing. I wasn't feeling the best. Sorry, I should've called sooner. I'll probably be back later tonight or something," she reassured her brother, who let out a relieved sigh.

"Okay, stay safe Lena," he hung up, and Elena put her phone back in her pocket. "See," she turned to Elijah, "now nobody will come looking for me."

"Alright," Elijah left it at that, knowing he didn't think of that in the first place.

When they got to Elijah's 'safe house' which was just where the Martin witches were staying, he went outside to take a call. When he came back, he looked conflicted.

"The plans have changed," he addressed the Martins, "Niklaus shall be arriving to prove the existence of a human doppelgänger."

Elena just sat on the couch bored, before snatching a book that was on the table: Wuthering Heights. She read in silence, but continued to eavesdrop on the conversation going on in front of her.

While she tried her best to focus on her book, she couldn't help but let her thoughts drift to more darker areas. Her past life wasn't the best and she always had trouble dealing with her feelings, using the same coping mechanism in her new one as well. She didn't know how else to comfort herself, and she believed that if she went to someone else with her problems they would shut her out, hate her, or even pity her. She didn't think that her problems were that bad compared to what others went through.

Elena had a lot of survivor's guilt, and the memories she received made her feel even worse. She couldn't help but feel she was stealing Jeremy's life as she wasn't even his real sister. She blamed herself for the death of his parents despite not even being the real Elena.

She wondered what would happen if Klaus just killed her for the ritual and she stayed dead. She was curious as to what would happen; Would she die? Would she be reborn again? Would she survive even without a spell to keep her alive?

As her thoughts spiraled, Elijah picked up a change in the doppelgänger's heartbeat and looked at her. He noticed her pupils looked more distant, as if she was lost in thought, not actually present with them. He cleared his throat and Elena snapped out of it.

"Niklaus shall be here in two days. I will be allowing you to go back to your home, but if you run I shall find out and you will wish you hadn't. Are we clear?" he asked, but it came out as more of an order. He adjusted his cufflinks as he spoke, and Elena nodded in confirmation.

"I can walk home, it's not too far," she spoke, standing up and leaving the apartment, knowing if he didn't want her to, Elijah would have stopped her. As he didn't, she decided she would just walk around town instead of going directly back home. After walking around for a couple hours, she decided to head back knowing Jeremy and Jenna would be worried.

Deep down she wondered: Did they actually care? Or were they pretending? They must blame me for the deaths of Miranda and Greyson, right?

Elena was a very fragile and broken person. On the outside, it seemed as if she was strong and intelligent, making all the right and selfless decisions. But inside, she knew she was weak and stupid, and most of all selfish. She stole the life of Elena Gilbert and she was taking advantage of her relationships with her family and friends. She was lying to them, she wasn't even supposed to be there. She made peace with her death, only to be thrown into a bunch of supernatural drama. While she was happy she got to live a life in her favorite fandom, she wasn't happy that she had to live.

She opened the front door quietly and walked up the stairs, trying not to make any noise so she wouldn't be confronted by anyone. She entered her room to find Jeremy sitting on her chair, appearing to have been waiting for her for a long time.

He immediately jumped up when he heard the door creak open, and immediately brought Elena into a tight hug. She froze up, before relaxing into his hold, feeling tears build up in the back of her eyes though she willed them to not fall. He was not going to see her cry, she was not going to make him even more worried.

"Where have you been? It's 3 in the morning. I was so worried," he pulled back from the hug, and up close she noticed his eyes were bloodshot.

"I told you I'd be back later," she kept her response short, not understanding why it was a big deal to Jeremy.

"You called only once in the morning. It's been so long since then! I didn't even know if you were okay!" His voice started to get louder, before he took a deep breath to calm himself down.

"I don't know what I'd do if I lost you too," he admitted softly, and that was all it took for the tears trapped in her eyes to rapidly make their way down her cheeks. Jeremy's eyes softened when he saw his sister's tears; he always hated it when she cried. But his supposed reason for why she was crying was very different from the real one.

Choosing not to voice his concern, he just brought his sister back into his arms for another embrace, rubbing soothing circles on her back knowing it was one way to help calm her down. Despite being younger and Elena being more mature, Jermey always acted like the eldest even when they were younger.

Elena was secretly glad that this was the case because she didn't know how to be an older sister, and she loved the fact that she knew what it felt like to be embraced by a brother again. Something she never thought she'd experience again since her brother's death.

Unable to control herself, she let out a choked sob, crying harder than she ever had since her brother's death. Jermey just brought her closer, as he had not ever seen Elena cry this hard, not even after their parent's deaths or her almost death.

That's how they were found the next morning by Jenna and Alaric : cuddled close together on the edge of the bed, Elena with tear streaks down her face and Jeremy with red rims around his eyes indicating he had been crying as well.

Jenna quietly pulled a blanket over them and gave them a kiss on each of their foreheads, her gaze lingering on Elena for slightly longer in concern for her niece. She was so focused on her niece and nephew that she didn't even notice Alaric's gaze Lingering on Elena for a second longer than he should have as well.