★ - THERE YOU ARE, YOU BANDAGE WASTING DEVICE !!!

Kunikida shouted aloud while pointing at Dazai in anger and frustation, Dazai, Atsushi and [Y/N] staring blankly at the furious man near them.

Dazai puts his hand on his chest dramatically,
" Ow! Kunikida-kun, who are you calling that?! "
Kunikida grits his teeth before replying in frustration,
" Because you're delusional! You think you're the most trusted member in the agency!? You get more complaints than anyone else! People curse you out on a regular basis, you fool! "
Whether Dazai had try to commit suicide foolishly in an innocent citizen's resident like their pool or even a large sewer pipe, Dazai would always forget about them like they were air.

Dazai puts his hands on his hips, looking seemingly annoyed that Kunikida would try and refute Dazai's claim to be the agency's most trusted member. It was as if he knew and truly believed that it wasn't a problem and that none would
be complaining about his suicidal actions.

" Whaaaat? No way! Since when did I ever get a complaint? "
It had seemed to be decades for Kunikida to wait just to hear Dazai ask that question.
Wasting no time to answer Dazai all-so-eagerly, Kunikida pulls out his ideal notebook with a smug look on his face, he starts,
" Here is a call we received in August: ' A so-called employee of yours has been caught in our offshore fishing net. Can you come to retrieve him?' " Kunikida imitated.
" Here is a call from September! : 'Some weirdo caught himself buried on my farm. Could he be one of yours?'
A call in the same month:
'That skinny rat needs to pay for his tabs, okay? All six months worth!' "

Dazai fake-gasps dramatically, holding his head in his hand as he reeled back, acting dramatically as if he just found out his whole life was a literal lie.
" I'm flabbergasted, Kunikida-kun! Who knew you were so good and talented at making impressions of other people! "

[Y/N] just looks at Atsushi, the younger male beside him in a sweatdrop who was also sweatdropping at the chaotic duo.

Unsurprisingly and as expected of [Y/N], Kunikida snapped.

Kunikida wasted no actual time jumping at Dazai to strangle the man while throughly expressing his anger towards Dazai.
" Why are you taking a leisurely stroll when we have an emergency in our hands!? "
" You're so lively this morning, Kunikida-kun! " Dazai exclaims while getting strangled by Kunikida but nonetheless, he enjoyed it.

What a masochist.

While Dazai is strangled by Kunikida, he exclaims,
" Kunikida-kun, if you shout too much, you'll start to secrete bad substances and suffer from hemorroids. "

Kunikida stops strangling the brown-haired male, making sure,
" What!? Is that true!? "
Kunikida tries to confirm it with a surprised face of what Dazai stated.
Kunikida starts taking notes of what Dazai has said earlier, only to be mad when Dazai and [Y/N] says in sync,

" It's a lie, though. "

Kunikida becomes furious at Dazai again, while Atsushi and [Y/N] deadpans at the two.

" Uhmm, what's the emergency you were talking about earlier? "
Atsushi asks to break the chaotic duo fighting moment, [Y/N] nodding as to show that she questions that too.

" Oh, right! Come to the office!
We're short-handed there now!"

Dazai rubs his neck from the sore feeling from Kunikida strangling strangling him earlier,
" Why? "

" A bomber.. has taken a hostage and barricaded himself in the office! "

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edited

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★★★

- 585 words -