I waited on the docks for any sign a ship was approaching—not at all patiently, mind you. My hands were fidgeting, my eyes were darting left and right and I was practically jumping up and down on the spot. I knew this was hardly the kind of demeanour one would expect an Akademiya researcher studying abroad in Liyue to have but... I couldn't help it.

A friend of mine had sailed away—again. He had told me he would return after he had finished dropping off a Traveller to Inazuma or other. Of course, I was worried out of my mind after hearing the destination. Inazuma was a closed country, bordered by out-of-control seas...

There was every possibility he wouldn't make it back. And it wouldn't be just him I lost but my drinking buddy, Captain Beidou, as well. Life without them? I shook my head. No. Out of the question.

I sighed, shoving my hands into my jacket pockets. It wasn't really needed—Liyue was still quite warm well into the night. At least, for as long as I stayed out.

A week after The Crux had sailed off into the treacherous waters of Inazuma, I had begun waiting at the docks for any sign of their return. After I had completed the delegated daily studies I needed for my thesis, I would stand and look out over the waters until—well, until the dockmaster told me to pack it in. He was a kind old man, but I'm sure he didn't want me loitering on his dock for too long into the night. I suppose it sent a strange message.

The sun was beginning to dip below the horizon. Any moment now, the dockmaster would come and gently advise me to take my leave. I wanted to wait for as long as possible, but I needed to do some extra tasks that had been requested by my tutor—just to make sure I still retained my studying edge even here in Liyue.

I sighed and turned, making my way to Wangshu Inn where I was staying. It was quite a ways away, so it took time out of every day to make the trip back and forth—but for my friend, it was worth it. I exchanged a terse nod with the dockmaster as I passed him. As I strolled through Liyue Harbour as the evening sky called everyone home for dinner, I glimpsed one of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlour consultants speaking with the Director—and suddenly I was filled with dread.

My pace quickened, and by the time I had made it to the Guili Plans, I was sprinting—as if running away from the thought itself. The thought that Kazuha... would not make it home.

⁜※⁜

I tossed and turned for hours that night, unable to get to sleep. The fear was overwhelming and while I knew better than to doubt Captain Beidou, Kazuha and the rest of The Crux fleet, I couldn't help it.

Eventually, I was able to drift off to some much-needed rest around the early hours of the morning. By the time I had woken, the sun was already shining above Wangshu Inn. I knew I was behind schedule, but thankfully not so much that it would be hard to catch up. I would just need to spend some time away from the docks to do so, and while the thought pained me, I knew my studies came first.

Well—breakfast came first. I tossed on some clean clothes and hurried out of my room, heading up towards the kitchen where Smiley Yanxiao was most likely wondering where I was. Every day, since the first day I had come, I made my way up to the kitchen at exactly 6.45 am to indulge myself in whatever concoction the chef had created that morning.

As I was heading down, I passed the innkeeper, Verr Goldet, and offered a sweet but hurried smile. She reached her hand out to me suddenly and called out for me before I disappeared into the kitchen and I paused. Her tone concerned me. She seemed... worried... Her eyes were pained. I turned slowly, hesitantly, as Verr reached beneath her desk to bring out a letter—as if to remind herself of the message she was to give me.

She blew out a long, heavy breath, before lifting her eyes to me. "Y/n... the dockmaster brings news." And as she spoke the next few words, it felt like the world had just been ripped out from beneath my feet. I stumbled as I approached her, my vision blurring as my eyes widened and filled with tears, my ears ringing with a high-pitched buzzing sound. Everything I touched I could not feel. It was as if I wasn't there to begin with.

"Say... say that again..." I demanded—though I knew exactly what she had said—my voice cracking with every word, barely above a whisper.

Verr loosed a slight breath as she saw the pain in my eyes, heard the breaking in my voice. She lifted the letter, reading the contents directly from the page. "The dockmaster's report is as follows... Word has come in... that remnants of The Crux have been discovered off the distant island shores of Liyue. Surrounding areas have been thoroughly searched, but there are no signs of life, save for the native flora and fauna of those islands. Give my deepest condolences to the fair lady who stands at the docks, but the man whom she loves was lost at sea. He will not return home."

At that final sentence, I stumbled again, gripping the counter to hold myself up as my thoughts swirled. No—I refused. There was no way Beidou would lose her fleet like that. No no no—

"Kazuha..." I gasped out. "Wouldn't—he wouldn't—"

My vision began to blur again and all my senses failed me. Up or down? Left or right? Here or there? Where was I? Who was I? I couldn't hear anything but loud ragged breathing which I soon realised was mine. Verr shouted at me, trying to get me back to my senses, rapping on the desk as loud as she could. She might've been saying my name, but I couldn't be sure. Not when I couldn't even remember what that was.

"Kazuha..." I gasped out between sobs. "Ka...zuha..." Whose name was that? It was the only thing I could remember. "Kazu..."

"Y/n!"

"Kazu...ha!"

⁜※⁜

I awoke to loud obnoxious knocking on my door, throwing the sheets off me as I jolted upright. My face was a mess, wet with tears, as were my pillows. All was silent as I gathered myself, every noise forcefully blocked out as I came to terms with what I had seen.

I looked out the window. No—it was still early morning. I was not late to breakfast. The day had not begun. So what was it I had seen? A vision? Some sort of horrible horrible omen? I loosed a shuddering breath before wiping my face clear of tears—at least, as much as I could—before padding to the door to address the visitor.

As I saw who stood outside, grinning from ear to ear as she laid eyes on me, I almost broke down in tears again and I had to lean on the door as I stumbled.

"Woah woah!" Beidou cried out, steadying me. "What's up with you, huh? You're a complete mess!"

"B—Beidou—!" I rasped, wrapping my arms around her.

"Hah, missed me, did you?" She hugged me tightly back. "Well, I missed you, too, drinking buddy!"

"Why are you... How are you here?"

"The dockmaster told us there was a fair maiden waiting daily for a ship called The Crux to arrive, as he had said. He told us you were staying here." I nodded absently, gripping Beidou tightly as if to make sure she was real. "You really do look quite troubled, though, Y/n. Imagine if Kazuha was the one waking you up and not me?"

My eyes widened at the mention of his name and I straightened, looking over Beidou's shoulder as I searched for his familiar face. "Kazuha..." I murmured, worry lacing my voice. "Where is he?"

"Waiting for you in the kitchen. The innkeeper said you usually—Hey!" she cried out as I suddenly pushed past her. "Where's my good morning?"

I couldn't care less about the state I was in as I hurried through the inn—about how I probably looked like I had just witnessed the Archon War itself. All I cared about was Kazuha and seeing his beautiful face again. I was wrought with fear and I could feel myself trembling as I staggered through the thankfully empty corridors. No doubt if I was any later, the guests who filled the halls would stop and stare at the strange young woman with unkempt hair and slightly worn nightclothes.

I reached the reception, but couldn't go any further. What if... it was just another nightmare? Rare as it was, especially for a Sumeru researcher—in fact, I had never had any dreams before last night—I couldn't brush aside the fact that what might lay before me would be just another figment of my imagination. I longed for him. I feared his absence. This could certainly be used against me.

But as I met Verr's gaze, who smiled slightly at me and inclined her head to the kitchen, I was filled with some form of hope. He would be there, waiting for me just as I had been waiting for him. I sucked in a breath and trudged on, making my way down the wooden staircase two at a time.

I saw his platinum blonde wisps of hair first, accented by an orange-red streak on his fringe. His eyes were closed as he waited patiently, listening intently to Smiley Yanxiao's barely audible humming as the chef milled about the kitchen, preparing the finishing touches for this morning's special dish.

An audible cry left my mouth as I gazed at his fair skin, his supple lips—just him in general. Another choked sob escaped as he opened his heavenly red eyes, gazing at me with a softness that only the real Kazuha could give. Not even a dream or visionary version of him could make me feel as I did now—and I knew this for certain. Kazuha... came home.

Upon seeing the tears in my eyes, his slight smile faded and he immediately glided over to me in the way only he could. I had reached the bottom step by the time he had come to me, his arms outstretched. I practically fell from the staircase into his arms, engulfed in a much-needed hug. I felt his gentle hands running through my hair, comforting me as he rocked me slightly.

I allowed the tears to fall as I buried my face into his chest, glad beyond measure to have him back, alive and well. Back to me. Back home. My wanderer... home... to me.

After a minute or two, I forced myself to suppress my tears and look up at him. He offered a small smile and I tried my best to mirror his easy-going yet comforting expression. He released me from his hug and held my hand, motioning to the table where Smiley Yanxiao had placed two bowls of food—and then proceeded to sneak past us to leave us by ourselves, no doubt to escape the awkwardness of being a third wheel.

"Come," he said, and I almost cried again as I heard his voice for what felt like the first time in well... forever. "Let us eat."

I nodded and let him lead me to the table, where we sat ourselves down and began to eat. Smiley Yanxiao had prepared Jade Fruit Soup—and it was, of course, delicious. Even the usually reserved Kazuha's eyes glistened at the taste. The sight made me calm—at peace, relaxed. Everything was ok.

Eventually, once we had finished our meals, Kazuha's eyes met mine and he spoke in a soft tone, "I don't mean to pry but... you were quite clearly upset earlier. Is everything ok?"

I paused and sighed, pushing my now-empty bowl to the side. "Well... it is, now that you're here. I just..." I took a deep breath as I felt my emotions rising up again, shoving the tangled mess of my thoughts back from where it came. "You had me so scared, leaving for a place like that... You didn't come back for so long and I... I should know better than to doubt you and The Crux but... I couldn't help thinking... what if something bad had happened to you?"

Kazuha reached forward and gently took my hand in his, tracing circles on the back of my hand. "The Crux makes trips to Inazuma more often than you seem to realise, Y/n."

I knew this—I knew this well. Beidou was as experienced as they came. She'd never lose her fleet in the storm. But... "But what if this time you didn't come back?"

There was a pause, then a breath. "I'll always come back to you, Y/n... because I love you."

I swallowed the gasp of surprise that threatened to escape, instead lifting my gaze from our interlocked hands to his eyes. "You... love me?"

He nodded, his lips curled into a small smile. "I don't know if it's my place to say this but... I feel like... you... loved me first. It intrigued me, having someone feel that way towards me and then... I couldn't help reciprocating those feelings."

He squeezed my hand as silver lined my eyes—another one of his cherished, comforting gestures.

"I'll never leave you," he said. "Not as long as the wind guides me to you."

I forced down the sob that tried to escape, smiling at him as I nodded. "Thank you, Kazu... I..." I took another breath as my eyes brightened. A light chuckle left my mouth as I found happiness in his eyes. "You're right. I love you, too."

⁜※⁜

A/N: I wrote this oneshot in honour of me successfully pulling him on the 28th June and I thought, Hey, why not make this super angsty? so that's what I did :P

┌─── ∘°❉°∘ ───┐
Completed: 19-07-23
Published: 7-08-23
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Fanart credits: https://genshin.global/character/kaedehara-kazuha-anemo/#&gid=jig[1]&pid=27