I would've cried had I tears left in my body to shed. A soft, barely audible whine left my mouth as I trudged on, my feet dragging through the shifting sands.

I lifted my head from the golden glow of the desert sands to the giant dunes in the distance. A passing caravan lumbered slowly across the dunes, framed by the setting sun and the reddening sky. They were within shouting distance. But I could not call to them. As my weary gaze watched the travelling desert merchants and their Sumpter Beasts slowly walk away, I realised with much disappointment that my throat was too parched for words to form.

But that did not stop my legs from moving. Despite the numbing aching from endless miles of walking, I made to run towards them. I had been here—alone and lost and discarded in the desert—for two weeks. I had wandered aimlessly for the most of it, but finally, I had pinpointed the direction in which Aaru Village lay—probably. The uncertainty still gnawed at me. In reality, this caravan was likely the only opportunity I had to escape.

And soon I was running, flying over the crumbling sands, trying to coax out a loud cry from my throat to the merchants, Treasure Hoarders, Eremites—whoever was in charge of that caravan. It didn't matter. Water, food, a place to rest—

"Please," I begged hoarsely, the dry wind carrying my words away into the void. "Don't go." I scrambled up dunes and rolled down others, trying—trying so hard to get to the travellers. But by the time I made it atop the dune I had seen them on...

I dropped to my knees. Curled over myself. Cried—or tried to. Too late. I was too late. My body felt heavy. The adrenaline I had felt had already passed. The fleeting hope that briefly shone in my eyes, that had temporarily carried me across the sands, had faded away, as insignificant as my cries for help.

I slumped against the sand, expression dead, staring at nothing. The gentle winds caressed me and I watched loose sand wash over my outstretched hand, as smooth in motion as the tide I missed oh so much. It was so... pretty. To die in such a beautiful place—in a place reminiscent of my home... Maybe... it wasn't so bad.

The sands were warm from the day's sun, though when night fell, I knew the temperature would plummet. But... whatever. I wouldn't last another day or two. There were no oases in sight and any supplies I had carried had run out. Even if I had correctly guessed the direction in which Aaru Village laid, I wouldn't make it. It was too far.

So it wouldn't matter if the cold of night claimed me, I decided as I closed my eyes, letting the wind cover me with a thin blanket of sand as if it were trying to preserve my chances of life.

Because my life was pretty pointless anyway.

⁜※⁜

When I awoke, it wasn't a blanket of sand that covered me, but a thick quilt of fleece. Still, I shivered, wearily looking at my surroundings with a heavy gaze. I cast my eyes onto a fire nearby. The warmth of the flickering flame that danced quietly to the rhythm of the night was my saviour, rescuing me from the clutches of the cold. I watched it for a moment longer, relishing its beauty, before turning my attention to the figure who slept behind it. A figure who slept with a staff clutched tightly in his hands.

I tensed slightly, watching him closely as his chest slowly rose and fell in a steady rhythm. He slept... with a weapon. No doubt he was adept at using it.

I took a breath, settling my thoughts. Had he been the one who had saved me? I made to rise, my muscles still weak and heavy. Slowly and carefully, I hauled myself upright, arms shaking as I breathed. Breathe, I told myself. Just breathe...

The figure's eyes shot open and I froze. He examined me for a moment, before rising, using his staff to help him to his feet. His tangled white hair shifted slightly in the ever-flowing desert wind that crept into the tent as he stalked over, before kneeling at my side to guide me to a steady sitting position.

"You should be more careful with yourself," he said, crimson eyes glowing in a somewhat eerie fashion in the firelight. "Your name?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but my throat still felt too dry to utter words. I frowned. He hummed thoughtfully to himself, before sliding over a flask and lifting it to my mouth. I eyed him cautiously but drank from it. I sagged in relief as the cool water ran down my throat, soothing the parchedness.

He lowered the flask and I wiped my chin clear of water, again meeting his eyes. "Y/n." My voice was still hoarse but... it was functional. "That's my name."

He dipped his head in a slight nod. "Hello there."

"And you?"

"I am the General Mahamatra."

I reigned in my shock and surprise. The General Mahamatra—head of the Akademiya's Matra. I supposed it was no surprise to see him out in the middle of the desert. I swallowed now that I had the ability to do so, my throat bobbing rather pathetically.

"Don't fret. Here, right now, I am just Cyno—not the General Mahamatra." He stood, walking to the tent flaps and opening them, lifting his gaze to the horizon. Reds and oranges spanned across the bottom of the sky, caressing the golden sands of the desert. The sun itself had yet to show. "It is dawn." Cyno looked at me. "You are hungry, right?" I nodded. "I shall cook you breakfast, then."

I waited patiently. Usually, I would refuse people's offer of food, especially when they were of higher standing. Here, we had the head of the Matra, deigning to cook me breakfast. On any normal day, I would've politely declined, not wishing to be a bother, but now... I knew I was in no position to refuse. Death had come to me, kissed me on the cheek, sung to me songs of the Golden Slumber. And I had listened, for I knew the eternal oasis had awaited me just beyond the fragile tapestry of Life.

But as I watched Cyno gather materials from his rather well-furnished camp, kicking sand over the campfire, I realised that my time was not yet. Not that there was much to live for, though. My tapestry was slowly unravelling and there was no motivation in me to repair the tears.

A few minutes later, Cyno returned and laid out an earthenware plate of poached eggs and shroomboar bacon, drizzled with desert honey. I could feel my mouth water. A light chuckle escaped from Cyno. "Hopefully, it tastes as egg-cellent as it looks."

I lifted my gaze to him. "What?" Did he... just... make a joke?

"Was my joke not to your liking?"

".. It was terrible."

Cyno smirked at my bemused expression. "So everyone tells me." He tapped the plate and stood. "Eat up. You'll need your strength. Where do you travel?"

"Aaru Village. I'll find my way from there."

Cyno nodded. "I'll take you to Aaru Village tonight when the sands have cooled."

"How far is it?" I asked.

"Two days' journey at my pace, but with you, it'll take at least double the time." I frowned down at my plate, the small sliver of guilt I felt suddenly making the food seem unappetising. Undeserved might've been more appropriate. Cyno must've noticed because he added, "You were going in the right direction. Had you supplies, you would've made it."

I exhaled through my nose. He didn't seem to be lying. As I lifted the plate to my mouth, a small glimmer of... satisfaction glittered in my eyes. I was sure I was lost, succumbed to the dizzying expanse of the desert. But perhaps I knew my way back after all.

"And it's different this time, anyway."

"How so?"

"Because this time, I am here. I am with you."

I smiled at that—at the promise of a faithful escort. And so I ate. Cyno soon accompanied, though he wolfed down his small plate of food within moments and stood again, preparing to leave to scout the desert for more supplies and a safe trajectory. The sun hung low above the horizon, but already, I could feel the heat of its rays.

Cyno ordered me to stay inside the tent and to make myself at home. He had plenty of water, and food wasn't an issue as he was leaving for more anyway. I sighed through my nose and nodded, knowing that even if I wanted to, I couldn't. My body still felt weak and heavy and just the thought of going outside and braving the sands seemed to cripple me. And so he slipped on his sandals, tossed the hood of his cloak over the top of his head and left. Leaving me to entertain myself.

In the time I was by myself, I folded the quilt and placed it at the end of the reed mat I slept atop, separating me from the firm sand beneath. I padded to the area Cyno kept his water and drank another litre, suppressing my groans of pleasure. I was so... dehydrated. And hungry. The desert took its toll on the unprepared.

My thoughts halted there. It wasn't my fault I was unprepared. Not really. Though the reason I was out in the desert in the first place was... I stopped. Shuddered at the memories. And refused to gloss over my thoughts any longer. To venture back into the wells of the past I had closed off to myself.

I only went outside once—to relieve myself and to check if Cyno was returning. The rest of the sunbaked day was spent inside, eating, drinking, sleeping—in fact, mostly sleeping—and even cleaning.

It was evening when Cyno returned, a Sumpter Beast in tow. As I peered from the tent doorway, I saw what the Sumpter Beast carried and almost gagged. Bloodied and torn bodies of animals hung from the Beast's sides. Well, at least when cleaned, they'd make adequate dinner.

Once Cyno had done just that, he slipped back inside with the now-cleaned carcasses—no, just regular raw meat. "It's just regular meat..." I murmured to myself, trying to block out the image of the dead animals. "It's safe..."

"What was that?" Cyno asked me, tearing off his cloak and tossing it to his reed mat—which I had also neatened.

"Nothing," I answered with a slight exhale to calm my nerves. Dead things... weren't really my forte. That fear was why I was hesitant to enter the desert in the first place.

He nodded and began to light the campfire back up. "You sound better."

"I drank most of your water." I offered a sheepish grin. "Sorry, there's not much left."

"You need it more than I do—and we can get more on our journey tonight, anyway. I scouted a small oasis out there today. Small detour, but shouldn't be too much trouble."

I hummed in acknowledgement, then jerked my chin towards the Sumpter Beast that waited idly outside. "Where'd you get him?"

"Eremites. I've been following them recently."

"Is that why you're out here?"

Cyno nodded. "I was able to confirm their illegal dealings today and ambushed them."

".. Where are they?" For Cyno to have taken them into custody, he would have had to take them across the long desert trek to at least Caravan Ribat for the Corps of Thirty to escort them to Sumeru City—

Cyno looked at me with an expression that told me I didn't want to know. I gulped. This was why you didn't mess with the General Mahamatra. They were likely six feet under. Why? my eyes seemed to ask.

They fought back. No one is above the law and justice.

I offered a wry smile. You secretly Fontainian?

A ghost of a smile crossed his face at that—and I realised an entire silent conversation had passed in the space between us. My gaze dipped, hiding the blush that crept onto my cheeks.

And so Cyno prepared an early dinner and we ate in silence—save for a very random joke he cracked under the guise of being a serious question. I had choked on my food at that, causing him to force water into my throat to ease the food down.

By sunset, Cyno and I had packed the tent and his belongings and loaded them onto the Sumpter Beast. We packed only the food we needed, knowing that carrying raw meat in the sweltering heat would end up with a disgustingly pungent scent hovering around us when it went past consumability. Cyno helped me onto the Sumpter Beast and I held on as tight as I could, my body rocking with each step it took as he led it forward across the sands.

It was late at night when he spoke again. His gaze was cast upwards, observing the beauty of the stars. I had enjoyed another nap of a few hours, the desert singing to me the sweet lullabies of night. "This pace... is quite nice."

"Hm?" I asked, rubbing my eyes clear of sleep.

"I usually don't get to relax like this." Though I could hardly call leading a rowdy Sumpter Beast across the desert relaxing, for someone like Cyno, who worked around the clock with little to no wastage of time, I could imagine that walking across the desert during the peace of night would be a nice break.

"Aren't you tired?" I asked. "You've been active since dawn."

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? I can... take over. Let you get some rest." Though my stomach churned in protest at the thought of walking tirelessly through the sands. And with Cyno sleeping, it'd be as if I were alone. Again.

"I wouldn't ask that of you," he replied, briefly meeting my gaze. "I have placed it upon myself to take you to Aaru Village." And as if he read my thoughts, he added, "And I have promised you that I would be here to keep you company. I am with you."

I smiled softly at that and he returned it, before turning his gaze back to the horizon. After a while, I asked, "You don't have trouble sleeping, do you?"

He chuckled and I knew he was about to spring another joke. "I'm so good at it, I can do it with my eyes closed."

"I consider sleeping with your eyes open to be more of a talent," I replied.

"I suppose so." And so reigned silence, until Cyno finally said, "How does the moon cut its hair?"

I was confused. "Huh?"

"Eclipse it."

"That's just as bad as the last few jokes you've told me," I said, although I couldn't stop the giggle from seeping through. He chuckled with me, and we continued our trek into the night.

⁜※⁜

By the fifth day, Cyno and I had become quite well acquainted. I would help keep order around the tent during the day as my body healed and regained its strength, and Cyno would plot our next course and hunt for food and a new source of water to quench my ever-growing thirst.

Most of the time we were together, it was quiet, Cyno cracking the odd joke every now and then, but during early mornings, evenings and during our long treks in the cool desert night... we did talk. And when we talked, we talked for hours on end. About everything.

But the one subject we hadn't yet broached was the burning question I saw in Cyno's eyes every time I made contact with them. Why are you out here in the desert in the first place—by yourself?

Every time the thought crossed my mind, I simmered with hate and anger—and sorrow. It was something I was looking forward to leaving behind in the golden sands, where the wind would cover all signs of my being there.

But tonight... Cyno finally grew curious enough to ask. I knew it before he even parted his lips—because the burning in his eyes was there, shining in the moonlight.

The Sumpter Beast beneath me groaned—almost as if in warning, for I could already feel my emotions rising up to greet me. I shoved them back down.

"How did you come to be here?" he asked, bone-white hair stark against his dark skin, a beacon in the night.

".. I was told to come here."

His eyes narrowed in suspicion, no longer merely curious. "You were forced?"

"I came of my own free will." And that was the truth. But something in Cyno's glare told me he didn't believe me—and it almost made me not believe myself. "I did, truly."

"What was the objective of your journey?"

I swallowed. "I... I was... finding peace."

His brows raised. "In the desert?"

"It's the only place I can find solitude. At least, that's what I was told."

".. Your story makes little sense." I could see his grip on his staff tightening.

I huffed. "There's not much to it." Also true—but again, that look in his eyes, that gleam that pierced through the darkness of my soul, trying to find the answers. It made me... doubt myself.

Cyno halted, causing the Sumpter Beast to pause while he climbed onto its back, sitting himself next to me on its giant hide. Cyno patted the Beast and it continued its lumber forwards. "Explain your situation to me." I averted my gaze, sighing through my nose. "Y/n." His voice—it held the commanding authority of the General Mahamatra. Not just Cyno anymore, but the head of the executive branch of the Akademiya.

"I... It..." I struggled to form the words as my emotions collided, as I tried—and failed—to make sense of my thoughts. Of what was merely perception and what was truth.

Cyno's gaze hardened, fixing me to the spot. Please answer me. And I found myself no longer able to dodge his question.

My breathing turned shallow as I forced myself back into my memories, recounting the countless and endless steps I had taken across the desert sands.

Further.

Back amidst the market stalls of Caravan Ribat, watching meekly as a lesser-known lord bartered with a merchant—discussing servant prices.

Further.

Back within the well-kept hold that served as a home—however temporary. Kept within the walls that were as much a cage as they were a protection—protection from hunger, protection from thirst, protection from the mercilessness of the world of the homeless.

Further! Uncover your feelings!

I shuddered and inhaled sharply, and I found myself being forced out—out of my mind, out of the pain.

Please... I begged. Let me do this.

There is only agony where you go, whispered a voice—sweet, calming, motherly.

I found myself taking a deep breath as I closed my eyes—and felt Cyno's hand gripping mine, interlacing our fingers. I am here. I am with you.

I will suffer for the truth—for my freedom. For my release. Go forward—go further!

And I was back... back in front of a makeshift grave, no more than a mound of dirt on the ground... A stinging pain throbbing on a cheek—from a slap across the face. The scent of the dead wafted through the air...

And I remembered exactly whose grave it was that the young girl—that I stood in front of. I felt tears slide down my cheek at the memory, my eyes glossy—but within them, they held a newfound clarity as I saw the excruciating truth. Acknowledged it.

Cyno squeezed my hand with a gentle delicacy, rubbing his thumb over my fingers in a soothing manner. I am here. I am with you.

"I am a servant..." I said at last, "of the Kavriel family."

"Kavriel?" Cyno inquired.

"A family not generally known amongst the citizens of Sumeru but wealthy enough to own land... and people."

"So you belong to them." I nodded. "Do you still want to?"

In the beginning, I would've answered yes but now... "No."

"Why?" Why are you here, Y/n?

I took a breath, steeling myself. Then another, deep and long. I met Cyno's gaze. Kept looking—for I knew only the question and longing that burned so fiercely in his eyes would be the way I could ever hope to explain myself.

"I am here... as punishment. That I put upon myself. Or so I thought." I chewed on my lip but kept my gaze on him.

I am here. I am with you. Only this message in his eyes, over and over, gave me the strength to continue.

"I live with the sentiment... that all sacrifice must be given to appease Lord Kavriel and his family. Should—should they be unhappy, I am failing in my duties... and if I am failing... I