it, sweetheart. It's a little late for modesty. It's nothing I haven't already seen. Twice now actually"

"........oh my god, oh my god-"

"No, your captain. And then some. But I think god is a bit much. Even for me"

The blatant horror adorning her face filled him with barely suppressed indignation, and he struggled not to feel offended by her melodramatics. Was she really that appalled now she had sobered up?

"Captain Buggy......we.....we didn't....?" She gestured towards herself and then him. When he stared at her stony-faced she repeated the action more frantically, making him roll his eyes yet again.

She didn't remember. Hm. Well maybe that was a blessing.

"We're both adults, Amby, you can say the words "have sex" and no, I'd safely say we did not bump uglies... judging by the way we're both still half dressed"

Color bloomed across her face and neck....and..... yup. Even her chest, from what little he could see of it.

Hot damn. She really did blush all over.

He would've preferred to not know that. Now his fevered imagination was sure to run wild every time she blushed.

"How can you be so certain? We're still missing half of our clothes!" She persisted, unconvinced.

"But not the half that count, duh. Think about it, Amby. The bottom half is still in tact!" Stretching casually, he pinned on a smile. One of his most convincing fake smiles, "Besides, the amount we drank last night...I really don't think I would have been capable of banging anybody"

"Ugh" she made a face, clearly not appreciating his vulgar choice of words.

Well that was too bad. This was who he was. Blunt and to the point. No point dressing things up with fancy phrasing.

"Hey, if you don't like the thought of us banging, baby, then you're really not going to like this...." he raised his left arm, showing his hand and the ring that now decorated his ring finger, "......we got hitched last night. Do you remember that part?"

Her mouth proceeded to literally fall open in apparent astonishment, disgust, and utter disbelief.

"No. N-no, that isn't possible."

"Apparently it is possible if you're resourceful, drunk, and impulsive enough"

She shook her head, struggling to process this dramatic revelation, "S-seriously?! Are you saying that we—?"

"Yes, wifey. We got married. For real"