paris, france

2012

The restaurant Kalina found herself in this evening was crowded and bustling. She had started to call Paris home, as it was where she had decided to establish her business headquarters, and the only thing calling her back to Sokovia were the distant whispers of memories she wished to forget. She stayed close to a small network of friends in the small Slavic country, and remained loyal to those relationships, but her heart no longer called out to the estates where she once imagined a family.

She was an empress in her own kingdom in western Europe. Everywhere she went, her name resonated with tourists and locals alike. She had moved her stocks and assets out of the National Bank of Sokovia, and spread them across financial institutions in Switzerland and France. Concerned with the destabilization of her country, the protests, and the underground murmurs of an organization named HYDRA establishing a foothold in the region, Kalina felt it best to secure her name in a more global economy.

Seated across a round table from a tall man with a dark complexion, in a more secluded part of the restaurant, Kalina sipped red wine from a glass that seemed too small for her liking tonight. The grating voice of the man droning on about his family's money and his sudden rise to success selling luxury animals for the black market in Madripoor was unsettling. She hated his demeanor tonight, and the man had arrived to the dinner with such an arrogance that had immediately set Kalina's blood pressure off.

"...you see, I, like any other man of my taste, will not settle for that kind of money. I needed more, so... there he sat, a drunk little man at our table... trying to argue the price down. Like I am some kind of charity case..." His words, through the bites of food he inhaled between each phrase, were enough to make Kalina want to dump her wine on his lap and walk out of the date, if one could call it that.

The woman sipped on the glass again. Many men in her social circle engaged in underground businesses, but something about the extortion of live animals for a monetary gain made Kalina cringe. She was a woman of ambition and power, but she lived with a set of morals, and that did not include exploiting near-extinct animals to savages who would either purchase them as pets, or worse. Kalina knew the fashion industry, and it was as dark as it was cut throat. She would never revert to such atrocity, but many did and the consumers would pay.

The man across the table cackled at his own story, spitting pieces of food around. Kalina quietly reminded herself why she was even here: to appease a potential partner, the man's father, Enrique De León, Spain's most wealthy entrepreneur and marketing director for almost every acclaimed fashion designer in the Iberian Peninsula and Italy. She intended to sway Enrique with her intellect and charisma, but he had made it very clear at their business meeting that he was increasingly interested in connecting her with his son, Beltran, the obnoxious, greedy man seated at the table with her now.

Kalina had not broken into Spain and Portugal like she had wanted to yet, and the Iberian Peninsula was the key to Casablanca and North Africa. If she were to establish her industry with Enrique De León, likely the waltz into the North African and Mediterranean strongholds would be swift.

So to ensure a smooth transition of her empire to a new horizon, she sat with Beltran at a large, crowded restaurant, allowing him to continue to talk about himself, while she let the wine cut her anxiety and annoyance. She had been allowing him to court her for some months now, in order to tie up the loose ends with Enrique. Kalina refused to let herself say she was using Beltran, but she was attempting to give the impression of a fair try in their relationship, and she truly had been trying.

"Kalina, are you not listening...?" Beltran's words cut her thoughts. It was true, she had drifted into another world, and had lost his story in the clouds of her mind.

"I apologize, I... I just have a lot going on at the moment. I was fascinated by your excursions in Madripoor," she lied. Kalina cared not about Beltran nor his disgusting excuse for a business. She only wanted the night to end so she could retire to her penthouse on Avenue Montaigne, alone and unbothered. After taking another sip of wine, she continued to feign enjoyment. "Who else did you deal with?"

Beltran did not hesitate to carry onto another story about something Kalina surely did not want to hear. She tilted her wine glass back, taking in the remainder of the drink, before waving to the waiter for another quietly.

The waiter, who was solely dedicated to their table this evening, rushed over to pour a new glass of blood red liquid. Kalina smiled politely at the man dressed in formal attire, who smiled back and turned to Beltran, offering another glass. The Spanish man, visibly disgusted by the waiter's presence, waved him off with a disrespectful and aggressive wave.

The waiter grimaced, and turned heel to step away, glancing at Kalina once more, who gave him a look of despair with her eyes. She watched the man saunter off, and post up near the kitchen, waiting for his services to be needed again.

Kalina looked down at her wine glass swirling the substance around, properly aerating it but not caring to taste it. She only cared about the warm, drunk feeling it gave her, helping her overcome the night. Letting the restaurant noise take her away from the dinner table, she fantasized about being anywhere else but here.

A baby cried in the distance, likely a family of tourists making their rounds of the most elegant restaurants. This one was not a place to take children, but with enough money, one could do anything they desired.

A clattering of kitchen noise echoed the walls as chefs prepared the most exquisite meals, and waiters served the patrons rapidly, yet with poise and unequivocal respect. Kalina continued to stare at her freshly manicured nails, wrapped around the wine glass, hearing nothing but background noise anymore.

"Kalina..." The call of her name did not lift her out of her trance, she let her head spin in every direction. Partly from the wine, and partly from the anxiety brewing in her chest from feeling crushed within the walls of the restaurant.

"Kali-" Again, nothing. Her name began to sound strange to her ears, as if it had been repeated a thousand times and no longer had meaning. It was no longer a word, but a feeling, a melody that spoke nothing but evoked a subconscious memory.

"Malenkiy tsvetok..." Kalina's throat seized. She took her eyes away from the table and looked directly into an abyss of memories, written in the brown eyes of a man she once knew. "Little flower..."

Kalina's heart raced, as she suddenly found herself seated across the table from Helmut in the old estate she once knew, the Zemo's elegant manor in the old Sokovian countryside. His smile brought her warmth and comfort, as she eased into the memory, unaware of her surroundings, only focused on the man before her.

"Helmut..." She managed to speak but her voice was not her own. As if in a dream, she felt real, but the words would not escape her mouth. Regardless, she still felt the connection, if only subconsciously.

"I am sorry," Helmut started. His warm expression was still fixated on Kalina, but she could feel anguish in his eyes. "For what I have put you through. I never understood the fallout of my actions, until I was forced to confront them..."

Kalina stiffened. The pain beginning to seep out of her pores, as her scars returned to scabs and subsequently tore to break free of her skin. "You broke my heart..."

Helmut signed and nodded, the warmth now lost in his grief. "I know-"

"Yet, I still love you, why?" Kalina shuttered in her seat, unable to stand, feeling locked and trapped in this compartmentalized memory. She couldn't move her feet or body, but mentally exhausted herself trying. She wanted to stand and she wanted to scream. "I have so many things I want to say to you, Helmut. Your entire being kills me slowly every day."

"You did not deserve what I had done. You are everything I am surrounded with, Kalina, you are my very reason for being." The man leaned back in his seat and brushed his hands through his hair, visibly restraining the pain he was overcome with. The words spoken were laced with a sense of deja vu, as if they she had heard them before.

Kalina took in the aura of the room, the Zemo's dining hall, but different. It had every essence of what she remembered, and yet was not quite right. Corners were darker than she remembered, little pieces of decor were slightly out of place, and of course, Helmut was seated before her. His face, this portion of reality, was unaltered. It was everything she remembered and it tore her apart at every seam. This was not a memory, but an argument with her own subconscious.

"I promised you would never be alone, Kalina. Why have you not let go?" Helmut inquired leaning back toward her. "You can not be free if you do not let go."

Kalina scoffed. "I am alone, Helmut. What do you not see about that? You left me alone."

The imagined man shook his head. "You are alone, because you have chosen to be. This is not what I wanted for you."

She became frustrated at his nonchalant response. "You broke my heart, Helmut."

As she repeated herself, she watched the walls begin to swirl, as if motivated to dance as her pain intensified. The room felt like it would crash down on her at any moment. Helmut's face began to distort in her vision, as if blurred by tears that she had not cried.

"...and I will live with the ramifications of that for the rest of my life, little dove... but you don't have to..." His hand reached out to her in comfort, as he placed it on her cheek. Kalina flinched, but realized that she could not feel his touch. She was suddenly anguished by it, desperately longing to feel his skin connect to hers.

As the walls began to spin faster around her, she abruptly recalled a moment in time just like this. A distant memory she had buried deep to stave away the torment of her past life.

Helmut's hand remained at her cheek, as she felt herself uncontrollably easing into it. The room lightened to a comfortable warmth, and she suddenly felt the eyes of hundreds of others resting on her. Where once she sat, she now stood, in the dining room crowded with others. She found herself facing Helmut with a glass of champagne in her hand. The tables had been moved to accommodate hors d'oeuvre and liquor dispersal by the wait staff, and the décor she remembered as slightly off was now perfectly in place.

Kalina was consumed with a lightweight bliss that completely removed the anguish she felt from her heart only moments before. There was a hushed happiness in the air, and elation filled her body.

"You are everything I am surrounded with, Kalina, you are my very reason for being. Without you, I am nothing, but together we are infinite." Helmut smiled with the most gentle and tender expression Kalina had ever seen a man display. He was so noble and genuine with her, and she had never felt more loved than when she was being loved by him.

She watched the man shuffle with his suit pocket, his clean cut, aristocratic appearance made her weak at her knees. Kalina was overcome with emotion, knowing exactly what followed, a moment she had been patiently waiting for so long. The whispers and giggles from the crowd of friends and family, standing in the ornate Sokovian hall, made Kalina feel like she was floating on their voices.

"It is time we truly become one, my darling. My everything. Kalina..." Helmut pulled a beautiful and exquisite diamond ring from a small box and held it to his chest before offering it to her. She felt her heart sing the most tranquil song of joy, the tune resounding to the heavens themselves, as the love of her life stood before her in a room full of others sharing his deepest endearment for her. "Marry me, my life..."

The scene began to blur as tears of joy rushed to Kalina's eyes. She reached out to accept but felt Helmut pull away from her as she stretched her arms out. He started to shift farther away without moving. The room stretched into a distorted carnival attraction, cheering from the guests resonated in her ears but soon became wild and unbearable. Swirling around her were the colors and shapes of her friends, and Helmut's smile fading away like a lighthouse in the darkness of a storm. The champagne slipped from Kalina's hand and crashed to the ground, disappearing instantly with no mess left behind.

Clank!

Kalina snapped back into reality, as a waiter nearby dropped a wine glass to the ground, shattering it into pieces. The fuzziness of her eyesight tuned into the dim lights of the restaurant, and she shifted her gaze to Beltran's concerned face, who seemed to be confused at her daze. The blood rushed to her ears, as she settled back into her chair, queasy, as the lump in her throat became more apparent. Her mouth was dry, and she reached for a glass of water, desperate to quench her parched mouth.

"Marry me..." Beltran repeated, unsure if Kalina heard his initial request, becoming visibly agitated at her lack of response. She immediately turned her attention toward the man, and locked eyes with him, feeling the heat of her skin begin cover her cheeks.

"No." She abruptly stated, without hesitation. She couldn't figure out where the memory of Helmut ended and the reality in front of her began.

"Excuse me?" Beltran, now obvious perturbed, aggressively retorted and spat in her direction. She looked sternly at him with a matched intensity.

"No." Repeating herself, this time more curt, she set her water glass down and pushed it toward him. She glanced at the waiter by the kitchen door and made a slight nod with her brow. "My answer is no."

With a newfound sense of swagger, Beltran sat upright in his chair, cutting Kalina with the daggers in his eyes. His pompousness was now more asserted and he was becoming impatient, done playing games with the woman. "You need me, Konopka. You need my family, my father. You will be sorry, do not tempt me."

Kalina did not shift her her seat. She hardly moved a muscle, stiff but elegant at the same time.

"You better choose your next words wisely, woman. Or they will be the last words you speak in this business." Beltran, feeling arrogant and haughty, threatened Kalina with ease, as if he were used to speaking to women with such disrespect and faculty.

Kalina rose to her feet slowly, gaining height on Beltran who was still seated. Her eyes never faltering from locking in his gaze. The man looked up at her with a snide expression, certain his threats shook her core. The delicate woman leaned over the table, peering at him with fire in her soul.

"I will never marry you. I will never marry you, or any other man that thinks they can control me." Kalina's voice was flat and confident, but she was not angered. She was powerful. "I will not be belittled by a small man who hides in his father's shadow. I built my empire, and I will tear you down along the way should you ever dare threaten me again."

She took in a deep breath and gave Beltran one last stoic look before being approached by the waiter with her overcoat and purse. Putting it on, she nodded to the waiter, dismissing him. Her date was still seated at the table, unable to form words in his anger and shock.

"I will never let you, or any other man, break me." With her parting words, she stepped from the table without giving Beltran another acknowledgement.

As she walked out of the restaurant and pulled her cell phone from the purse in arm, her stomach wretched. She dialed her chauffeur for departure and stood silently on the curb as the car lights flashed by in the busy boulevard. She wanted to hurl on the side of the street, the anxiety masked by adrenaline had worn off. The grief of loss overcame her body, and while she maintained her outward composure, her heart lurched begging to feel the pain, to feel something other than numb.

Kalina inhaled the crisp night air, the sounds and smells not enough to distract her from the memories that began to flood her consciousness. She silently reminded herself that she was the only love she needed.

She wiped a tear off her cheek, being careful not to smear her makeup, and stood tall in the storm that was raging inside of her.

She would never let another man break her, never again.

-----

corfu, greece

2012

Helmut paced back and forth in a small room of the Orthodox church, the Mediterranean humidity creeping through the doors as guests entered the front. The excited chatter of the relatively modest group made the man feel even more heavy. Sokovian, Greek, and some other languages he couldn't pick up on in the moment swirled through the air.

It had been quite some time since he was approached by General Drozdov with an ultimatum: become one with the organization, or suffer dismissal and disgrace. Taking the dismissal seemed like the right decision, but knowing Kalina had moved on with her life left Helmut struggling to grasp reality. He would leave EKO Scorpion a disappointment with his dishonor etched over his name, and return to Sokovia alone, while Kalina lived content without him. He knew how ambitious she was, and he knew she was a force to be reckoned with. What she wanted she got, which also would have included the eyes of every eligible bachelor in her reach.

At least taking General Drozdov's proposal would allow Helmut the opportunity to start over, to try and have a normal life and a family. Kalina would never have him back, and he refused to blame her. This was his decision, and now he found himself overwhelmed with disdain and apprehension, watching the consequences play out in front of his eyes.

At least with Heike, he could try again, he could complete the career he had started and finally settle down with his debts erased. Heike was wonderful, she was a kind woman, she was fair and smart, but she wasn't Kalina. The 'daughter of the Sokovian Armed Forces' loved Helmut and was overly affectionate to the man. She loved to tend to his every need, and was quick to accept his proposal of marriage within a few short months of courting. There was no large event and there was no special occasion, but Heike agreed