Tama shook her head, hesitant to share her feeling with Tallulah as her thoughts weren't safe once she shifted around Sam and Jared. She was thankful then, to have hers to herself. Tallulah was the closest thing she could get to a confidant and ultimately gave up with a sigh, knowing if she kept her feelings in any longer, she would surely implode. "No, no. Mason's a great guy; really really sweet, likes art and almost everything else I like...on paper he sounds like the perfect guy for me, my best match but," Tama's voice faded until she paused, unable to formulate the rest as she felt the familiar feeling of shame and anxiety building back up inside her chest. She attempted to steady her breathing, though her inhale was stuck in her throat when Tallulah said,
"He's not Paul." Tama finally looked at her then, noticing there was no hint of amusement nor any sign that a joke was to follow her words, the norm for the girl seated next to her. She was completely serious, eyeing Tama carefully as she noticed the younger girl almost seemed sad. Before Tama could deny and alter the subject, Tallulah cut her off.
"Tama, you don't have to lie to me. Take it from someone with the largest, most embarrassing unrequited crush, the heart wants what it wants, as hard as we try to move forward without them," she paused as she let her words sink in, unable to look Tama in the eye as she suddenly looked faraway from reality in that moment. Tama didn't have to be a telepath to know what she was thinking. "You two were the most obnoxiously perfect couple I've ever seen, I don't think I'd ever seen you so happy, ever; not worried about your grades or what everyone thought of you. You weren't even scared of your mom, and I'm scared of your mom."
They shared a short- lived laugh before Tallulah grew serious again, her eyes solemn and almost filled with tears. Almost. "I swore you two would've gotten married as soon as you were able, like Leah and Sam โwould've given your mom a heart attack but, still. I was really surprised when you guys broke up." Tama's arms crossed over her chest childishly as her gaze turned towards the black screen tv in an attempt to hide brewing tears from her friend. "You mean when he dumped me? Yeah, real shocker."
Tallulah waited for a moment, the girl almost hesitant as she seemed to choose her next words slowly. "Sometimes things aren't always so black and white, things have layers, things are...complicated. It was, it was complicated," she stumbled over her words as they seemed carefully constructed and she avoided the older girl's gaze.
Tama shot her a look, inspecting the girl as if she had just revealed herself to be part of a crime. Her eyebrow raised curiously, tilting her chin towards her as she sent an accusing, "you sound like you're on his side."
"I'm not it's just-I, I know he wouldn't have just dumped you for no reason, not after, you know..." Tallulah trailed off awkwardly, Tama's face going red as she lowered her gaze to the floor. "Look, I feel like you're still in love with him for a reason, despite him breaking your heart and making you cut those god awful bangs you had, you still care about him. That has to mean something. Maybe you don't believe he really meant it either, that's why you're still holding out โit's why you can't move on."
"But I want to!" Tama said, sounding painfully desperate, still not meeting Tallulah's gaze. She could see her out the corner of her eye, her head tilted to the side as she stared at her, studied her. "You sure about that?"
Loud footsteps across the Uley's backyard paused their conversation, both girls watching Sam enter through the back door with Jared in tow. He surveyed the two for a moment, as if he was making sure they were both okay before he said anything. They stared up at him, anxiously awaiting whatever it was that had Jared rather pale by the open back door, stuck in a daze. "We lost the trail but we caught three scents which means three more vampires, which means..."
Tama stared up at Sam with a frown, "another shifter."
ฯ
Tama was tired. It was entirely noticeable as she exited her Bronco with her backpack in hand. It was a shortened day due to the weather โthat she may or may not have caused herselfโ so she found pleasure in the fact that she'd only be forced to pay attention for half the school day. She scanned the parking lot for Angela, her eyes accidentally landing on the one person she did not want to see at the moment before she cursed and put her head down in an attempt to make herself smaller. Mason smiled at her as he exited his Corolla, quickly making his way over to the girl who looked like thunder personified. His mood didn't seem to dim his as he reached her, "you look beautiful."
She scoffed in response, wishing she had a mirror to emphasize her eye bags and hand-me down jeans she wore along with her unkept hair. "I look like I ate death for dinner," she grumbled, letting her hand intertwine with his own as they trudged towards the school yard.
"What was for desert?" was Mason's sarcastic response, chuckling to himself when he saw his joke wasn't well received from Tama. They were used to this, him being constantly positive and happy while she mumbled and grumbled her way through life as of late like a man in his seventies. He seemed to rather enjoy their dynamic, and she couldn't help but admit the same. In an act of distraction, Mason grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to his chest, pressing his lips to hers without so much as a moment's notice, catching her off guard one of his favorite pastimes.
Tama gasped, the action unexpected before she remembered their kiss days ago and what she had started, what she had to finish. For a second, she allowed herself to actually enjoy the feeling of his lips on hers, the way his hands felt on her waist, how his fingers gently tugged at her caramel colored knit sweater. The second lasted too long it seemed but she had gotten so lost, she couldn't count how long he had her under his spell. Once he finally let her go, able to see the slightly dazed look in her eyes and the red flush on her lips and cheeks, he allowed a smile to spread across his face, Tama looking away in search of something to distract her from the dazzling blue eyed boy in front of her. She heard a laugh erupt up and out of Mason, making her gently push him away in an attempt to get some air and common sense. He took her bag from her as her eyes landed on another individual who looked rather unhappy, her smile wiped clean off her face.
Across the parking lot, in his usual spot surrounded by his friends and teammates, Paul was practically steaming from the head, his shoulders heaving as he blocked out any and everything that was being said to him; the image of Tama kissing someone else replaying over and over in his mind like his own personal hell, the thought of bashing his head in becoming increasingly enticing. Paul's friend attempted to place a hand on his arm but jumped back before he could utter a joke to ease his angered state, Tama hearing the boy comment on his temperature even from her distance across the parking lot, a curse slipping from her lips at the mention. The boy shoved his friend away rather harshly, sending the pair a deadly glance before he stormed off, leaving his friends confused and Tama walking with her head down, wishing she could turn in on herself. She felt awful, and she felt awful for feeling awful.
A hand intertwined with her own and she looked up to see Mason offering her a comforting smile before giving her hand a squeeze, unaware of the death stare having been sent his way. "I forgot to tell you but, my dad wants to see you at the gallery later, after school." The pit in her stomach only grew and she couldn't muster a false smile this time, Mason's smile dropping at the sight. "It's good news, don't worry."
Tama avoided his gaze as they walked down the hall towards her first class of the day. "Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of," she mumbled, hoping he didn't hear as she turned another corner, her grip on his hand loosening ever so slightly. In response, he only held her hand tighter, spinning her around so that she was in front of him, her back towards their first period of the day together. He stared down at her, suddenly serious as he noticed her anxious small frame. "If this is about what happened at dinner, don't worry about it. My dad still holds you and your art in high regard, and for good reason; don't let your mom hold you back from your potential."
Their eyes met for a second, the intensity of his gaze causing her to try and find a familiar face in the swarm of students trying to reach their classes on time. He was right and she knew it more than she knew the back of her hand but god, did it hurt. It pained her to know that her mother would rather her live a life of misery in a dead end job that provided her with a big enough paycheck that her mother could show off to the Rez instead of her pursuing her passion in art, even if she didn't have a fancy car or any material goods to show off. But, Tama didn't want that, she never did. Despite her mother's hopes and dreams for her, Tama would be over the moon making art and baking sweets for her friends and family for the rest of her life, even if a six figure paycheck didn't come along with it. Why wasn't that good enough for her mother? Why weren't her dreams good enough? Why wasn't she enough?
She felt soft fingers tilt her chin up, her mind coming back to reality as she found Mason's eyes again, the boy she knew she didn't deserve peering down at her sympathetically before he brought his lips against hers again, ignoring the disgruntled students who shuffled past them. He pushed her hair out of her face gently, staring down at her as if she was the most fragile thing to exist. "Don't think about it too much, okay? I'll see you at lunch." He brought her chin down a few centimeters so that he could place a single, lingering kiss to her forehead before he bid her farewell in search of his own first class of the day.
It was quite hysterical to tell someone like Tama Hawk not to overthink. It was in her blood, the teen ruminating on every and anything since she was capable of self perception, everything being downhill from there when it came to mental stability. Tama wasn't able to follow Mason's well intended wishes for her, the dark haired girl still an anxious mess as she walked towards the now-familiar football field of Forks High arguments suddenly filling her sensitive ears as her eyes landed on the lacrosse team. The players, and coach, seemed in disarray, something she couldn't help but smile at. Her joy caused by their pain was short lived once their coach caught sight of her, quickly making his way over to the girl.
Tama held her hand up, no longer scared of the man she argued with almost every single day. Mr. Otte scoffed, swatting her hand away from in front of his face. "Where's Lahote?" he asked, quite sure she knew of his whereabouts. She scoffed back in return, shocked at his bold assumption. "Why the hell would I know?" she shot back, her eyebrows furrowed as she took in his appearance. The man seemed to be only minutes away from losing his sanity and she guessed it had something to do with Paul's absence.
Mr. Otte placed his hands on his hips, his clipboard pressed up against his leg; Tama caught sight of their formation diagram for tomorrow night's game and frowned. Paul wouldn't miss a practice, especially so close to a game. "I know you two were. . .romantically involved, none of my business but, gross. I figured you'd know where he was, this is our last practice before one of our biggest games, I don't know what would happen if he didn't show."
He paused and Tama raised an eyebrow, almost daring him to continue with what she hoped he wouldn't say. The man sighed, glancing back at his team before glancing back at her. "Look, I wouldn't ask you this unless it was really important but, I need you find him." Tama quickly turned on her heel at his request, though Mr. Otte was quick to grab her arm and spin her back around to face him. "If you do, I'll give you a guaranteed pass for Physch and track, won't even have to come to practice if you don't want to...even though I would prefer if you did considering you're my best runner."
Tama was silent for a few beats, weighing the pros and cons. She hated to admit it but, she actually enjoyed running for miles without stop, the feeling of her feet hitting the hard, solid floor kept her grounded. Her problems didn't seem to matter when Mr. Otte blew his whistle and she was off and around the track quicker than anyone else on the team; running, though she was holding herself back, of course, was like medicine to her and without it, she was sure she'd go insane with everything she was currently having to endure. The girl sighed, seeing the look on her coach's face, glancing behind him to see the entire team shared similar looks of defeat and anxiety. Most kids were seniors, this being their last year and their last chance to prove themselves to college recruiters. But kids like Paul, juniors, this was the most important year of all. This was the year student athletes were scouted, when doing your best was your biggest priority. Most schools even made exceptions for grades around this time so that athletes could focus intensely on their individual sport, something Tama always detested.
But now, she felt something akin to pity, which was odd as she remembered distinctly hating every single one of them when she was forced to be in their vicinity last year. Character development, she reasoned, before she turned to their coach. "Fine, I'll try to find him, and I'll stay on the team. But...I can't guarantee he can play this weekend."
Mr. Otte's joy was short lived as his face fell, throwing his hands into the air as if to say 'what the fuck'. Tama shrunk back with a frown, knowing he wouldn't be the only person upset with the possibility of Paul not being able to play lacrosse anymore. If her theory was right, with Paul being the next to shift โhis heightened anger, bigger muscles and overall taller physique, it would be a while before he could get his anger under control again and by then, lacrosse season could already be over. He, and most of his teammates, could kiss their scholarships goodbye. The thought pained her, despite her ill feelings for the boy she once loved. She knew he put his entire heart, his entire being into lacrosse and knowing he couldn't play anymore due to something he couldn't control, she couldn't even fully grasp it and she knew he wouldn't either.
So, with pity her driving force, she set out to find him despite previously wanting nothing to do with him. She knew it was quite dangerous to go looking for a wolf-boy who's last image of her was her kissing someone else but, she knew the other wolves would only agitate him further. They were her last resort, so she kept her phone near as she trudged towards her first stop; his house. She hadn't been here in months, and her hands suddenly felt slippery on the wheel as she pulled onto the dirt filled driveway that had only one car in the driveway, Aaron's.
Paul's father was a man she didn't have much of an opinion of, despite how much time she spent with his son. He was a simple man that liked to work on cars as much as possible, he owned the most popular mechanics shop within a 500 mile radius โwhich he boasted about regularly, and he drank til his heart's content whenever he wasn't working. He was a proud man who liked to show his son off like a trophy to the residents of Forks and neighboring towns, always at every single game with pictures of Paul lining the walls of his auto body shop, cheering him on near constantly. He was also quite hated on the reservation due to his need for the pale face's approval, something Tama's mother detested him, and by extension his son, for.
His relationship with his son was complicated, which made Tama quite unnerved with the man who never went out without boasting about his 'star athlete'. It was quite similar to her relationship with her mother, something the two teens argued over constantly with words like 'hypocrite' and 'blind' coming up more than a few times. Tama sighed as she pulled the car into park and killed the ignition, the sudden resurgence of memories causing her to rub her temples gently. She was hesitant to knock but once she brought her closed fist up to do just that, the door suddenly swung open and she was surprised to see a blonde who looked eerily close to her age. Her aquamarine blue eyes scanned her in confusion before they widened in recognition, a smile making its way onto her face as she brought her in for a hug. "Oh, you must be Tama! I've heard so much about you!"
Tama stared past the girl who still kept her wrapped in an uncomfortable hug, to see the changes made to the house. There was more furniture than before, more decorations as well, the small home no longer resembling a man cave like the last time she was here. The girl released her hold around her shoulders but still kept her palms set on them, smiling up at her as the woman was quite short. She seemed to be in college from the looks of it and Tama couldn't tell if she was with Paul or his father, both of the possibilities making her squirm uncomfortably under her hands. She seemed to catch onto her body language and brought her hands down to her sides, gesturing for the girl to come in before closing the door behind her. "I'm Quinn, Aaron's fiancรฉe."
She was lucky Quinn's back was to her because she was sure the woman would've been offended by the face Tama made upon hearing those words escape from her pink gloss covered lips. There was shuffling in the other room before a familiar, yet unfamiliar face came into view. Aaron looked a bit taken aback, as did Tama, noticing he no longer had his unruly tar black hair messily falling down his back, nor his scraggly beard he tried so desperately to grow for years. His hair was cut up to his ears and pushed back neatly with gel, and his face clean shaven to make him appear a few years younger. He no longer had bags under his eyes from overworking and over drinking, and his usual grim expression he wore around the house was gone and replaced with a welcoming smile; Tama noticed he even lost a few pounds.
"Tama!" He greeted her as if she was an old friend of his. Before the girl could even offer a polite smile or a wave, he brought her into a hug that would've knocked the air out of her had she not been a supernatural creature, her eyes bulging at the sudden contact. He spun her around once before setting her down, returning to Quinn's side with a boyish grin. "It's been so long, I was afraid I'd never see your face around here again. You know, besides the pictures."
He pointed over to the previously empty wall, the girl noticing it had been painted a soft beige color and was filled with framed photos and other decorations. Even with her distance, Tama could easily see photos of her with Paul, grins
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