ɢᴜʏ ɢᴇʀᴍᴀɪɴᴇ

𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐀 sweep. An 11-0 score pushed us into round two. The whole world was watching us, and for now, in this second, they loved us. We were in the papers. We were in sports magazines. We were on top. It was hard though--to still be a teenager. I felt claustrophobic at times when there were so many people around us. So when Goldberg, Dwayne, Jesse, and Averman asked if I wanted to join them on Rodeo Drive, I was quick to say no.

"You sure, man?" asks Jesse.

"Yeah, I'm probably just going to take a nap anyways. I'm kind of tired," I said.

"Suit yourself," Goldberg shrugged with a sigh.

"You've been saying that a lot," Jesse observed. "Is everything cool?"

"Yeah, it's just Connie stuff," I tell him.

"Well, you know where to find us if you change your mind," Averman finalizes as the four boys push out the door.

Alone, Charlie's words echoed through my mind. Maybe try talking to her about it. Make her jealous back.

As good as it would feel, I couldn't be that guy. I didn't want to be the guy who flirted with other girls while he had a girlfriend. I didn't want to be the guy who had to sink that low. But I think I already did those things. It wasn't right--but it didn't feel wrong. I am an asshole. I'm the asshole who flirted with Maeve Williams. What went wrong? Where did I go wrong?

I didn't know. But I knew I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't do this pointless relationship. I couldn't do the pretending. It's done--it's been done probably longer than I thought. I just wish I had gotten the memo when my girlfriend dumped me.

Giggling in the hallway tore my attention immediately. I could recognize it anywhere. I flung the door open, glancing left and right before I saw them. Connie and Luis, holding hands. I knew it was coming. I knew it was exactly what I was going to see, but it still stung. It was like a dark cloud on a rainy day--you knew the outcome, just not the when. It was a kick to my stomach. "Wow, you two kids have fun?"

"Guy!" Connie gasped, spinning towards me when she heard my voice.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"What?" she questioned. "No, no! Of course not. It's not what it looks like!"

"Okay," my voice sounded calm when really it felt like it was breaking. "So what is it like, exactly?"

"Well, we were just..."

"Did you kiss him?" I cut her off. I really didn't have the patience to listen to more fabricated stories. "Don't lie. Just tell me. You owe me that, at least."

Her eyes said more than her mouth ever could. "Guy..."

I looked at Luis. I don't know what was worse, the fact that Connie couldn't look at me or that he couldn't.

"We're done, Connie," I said. "We're just...done."

"Wait, Guy!" she pleaded, grabbing onto my arm. "Please, just let me make it up to you."

"That's okay. I really don't want anything else to do with you."

I was harsh, and I knew it. But I didn't care. I had every right to be harsh--on both of them. Some fucking team we were. I slowly backed away, watching as anger crept up Connie's neck. "Fine! Go fight with Maeve, or whatever it is you do now! See if I care!"

But I knew she would. It hit me that she was just insecure--threatened, even. She didn't like Mae, and I thought that meant we were good together. I thought she was doing it to protect me, to make me feel better--but she was doing it for herself. She always was. Connie looked out for Connie.

"Yeah, maybe I will."

☆∵☆∵☆∵☆∵☆∵☆∵☆∵☆∵☆∵☆∵☆

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝐖𝐀𝐒 cold (as usual) and quiet. But it wasn't empty. Blade marks covered the fresh ice and a water bottle sat on the far bench. A door behind me swung open.

"Oh, hi," Williams said, sounding nervous and a little awkward.

"I was just coming to clear my mind. Skating helps," I mentioned. I wanted to hit myself over the head. It was weird between us.

"Yeah, me too."

"Are you, uh," I stammered. "Are you here because of..."

"Oh, yeah, I guess. Dads suck. You?"

"Just stuff," I answered, blowing out a deep breath. "Have you seen him since then?"

"No, I think he freaked a little with the whole anxiety thing."

"And are you okay?"

She shrugged. It was probably a stupid question anyways. "As okay as someone can be after their dad shows up for the first time in three years."

It was like I had forgotten how to talk to her. I had done this every day for nine years, but now I was completely clueless. Fighting was all I knew how to do. I glanced around the rink. I had already run out of things to say.

"What the hell happened the other day?" Maeve questioned.

"I-I don't know," I shrugged, slightly caught off guard at the suddenness of it all. "You were pretty thrown off by your dad just s-"

"That's not what I'm talking about," she cut me off.

"I know."

"You confuse the hell out of me," she criticized, her hands balling up into a fist. "You hate me one day, and the next you're helping me. Now, we're here. Now, we're doing this."

"Oh, that's rich coming from you," I scoffed. "You hate me too. You didn't push me away. Don't you ever think about how that confuses me?"

"You have a girlfriend!"

"Not anymore," I snapped. It pissed me off that she was using Connie against me--using Connie as some excuse for whatever happened between us in that locker room. I wasn't mad about the breakup. We ended. It's been over for a while--at least, it feels that way. "Why don't you go complain to Adam about this? I'm sure he'd be much more interested in what you have to say, anyway."

"That's real condescending of you," she objected. "You think you know everything, don't you?"

"You expect me to believe that there's nothing there? You spend nearly every waking hour together. I'm surprised you two haven't made it official already," my voice was venomous, ready to strike at any wound it could.

"What? Are you jealous or something?"

Jealous? She was out of her mind. "You're so self-absorbed!"

"And you aren't?" her voice rose with anger. "Why do I owe you an explanation of anything? How does it affect you in the slightest if I was with Adam? He's my best friend!"

"Yeah?" the words tumble out before I can stop them. "And what was I?"

Maeve froze, staring at me with her eyebrows furrowed. "Why are you still so stuck up on that? It's over, Guy," she whispered.

"I'm not 'stuck up' on it," I denied, bewildered that she seriously thought that. "I just know you. I can tell when you're full of shit."

"Oh, you know me?" she laughed, her ears turning red. "You think you know me so well because what? You breathed with me?"

"I was the only one who knew what to do. Your best friend didn't. So yeah, I'd say I know you pretty goddamn well."

"People change," Mae stated. "I've changed, so just drop the superiority complex already."

I rubbed my face with my hands. How could one person be this frustrating? "I'm not even gonna say it. I don't think you could handle it."

"Oh, enlighten me, please!" she cried. "Just say it!"

"You make these claims that you've changed, but do you want to know what I really think? I think you're just running away from who you used to be. You're running from your parents. You're running away from me. You're scared we're all gonna leave again, so you do what's easiest: run!"

"Fine!" Maeve exclaimed, throwing her hands up. "Maybe I am running away! Maybe I'm scared of getting hurt! But you know what? I don't remember you ever trying to stop me. You let us become like this. You made us become these two people who have all these memories to hate!"

I saw tears prickle in her eyes. They bobbed around, threatening to fall at any second. That's how I made her feel--so angry that she could cry. She made me feel the same way. She knew that. We stared at each other, breathing heavily, and voices raw. I looked away when a tear leaked down her pink cheek.

Two people who have all these memories to hate.

"Jesus," I huffed, feeling the muscles in my jaw twitch. "I'm not asking you to tell me every shitty thing that's ever happened to you before. I just..."

"You just what, Germaine?"

"Forget about it," I sneered. I felt stupid for even trying.

"You just what?" she repeated like it was a dare--no, it was a dare. Maeve Williams was daring me to finish.

"I thought you might need someone to talk to, alright?" I snapped. "I thought you would need me. It's whatever. Just forget I even asked."

She looked at me for a second. I couldn't read her eyes. I hated that I couldn't tell what she was thinking. I couldn't even tell what I was thinking. I didn't know if I was fighting with her out of agitation or confusion. I couldn't tell if my fists were clenched because I was jealous or just frustrated. I shook my head. This was a waste of time.

I was 20 feet away from her when she called out, "I think I do need you."

I stopped, waiting for her to take it back. I waited for her to tell me that she doesn't need me. I waited for her to insult or ridicule me for caring. But moments passed and nothing happened. The sentence hung in the air, getting heavier and heavier with each second of silence that followed. My body responded faster than my head. I was drawn to her, and there was nothing I could do that would stop me from getting closer. She is magnetic. Fuck it.

In an instant, my lips were on hers. My hands were in her hair. Her lips were soft against my rough ones. If she was surprised in any way, she didn't show it. I felt her fingers brush my shirt. My heart was racing. Kissing her was something I shouldn't have wanted. I needed to snap out of whatever took me over. But I couldn't. Kissing Maeve Williams was like taking every drug in the world at once. It was so intense that I thought it would kill me--like jumping into a pool of lava. It was everything I knew and so much more.

"You have no idea how much I've thought about this," I whispered in between peppering her lips with light kisses. "I pushed it away for so long because I hated that you made me feel like this. I hate that you do all these things to me."

"Would you just shut up for 15 seconds, Germaine?"