𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 / 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬

"good morning y/n." butters awoke me quietly. he shut the door behind him as he entered and stood awkwardly for a moment. "i enjoyed our time yesterday." he mumbled. his eyes didn't leave his feet, and i couldn't tell if it was out of anxiety or decency.

i grumbled as i rose out of bed. "yeah, me too." i respond tiredly. my voice wasn't necessarily raspy, but it was lower than usual and kind of breathy. butters eyes met mine with a gentle expression and he looked like he was searching for something within them. his long platinum blonde fringe shines brightly in the morning sun and compliments nicely against his deep brown eyes. it gives him a sweet look which matches his kind disposition.

"oh! and kyle is downstairs waiting for you." he remembers and you can literally see the light bulb go off in his head. "i'll be down in a minute." i swing my feet out of bed and quickly check the time on my phone as butters leaves.

i rummage through my closet looking for something decent to wear. i settle on jean shorts and an empire waist t-shirt. simple, but whatever. i wash my face and brush my teeth before putting on some light makeup and doing my hair. kyle should have texted first.

i finally make my way downstairs and there kyle is, waiting. he's wearing a thinly striped green t-shirt and long, dark, jeans. they're straight cut, but still kind of baggy. they fit him well. he has some gold jewelry on- a bracelet, a chain, and two rings. his converse match his shirt. he's very put together. and handsome!

"hey." he greets awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck as he speaks. i guess he doesn't feel so bold anymore. "sorry i took so long. what's up?" i ask slightly confused. butters didn't give me any hints on why he's here, and he hasn't said anything himself. "can i take you out?"

take me out? "usually murderers don't ask for permission before killing someone, but i guess you have to have a signature move." i reply sarcastically. i knew what he meant, i just wanted to mess with him. "on a date." he finishes his sentence, rolling his eyes. he smiles nervously at me awaiting my response.

"sure. i'd like that." i smile back at him and run back upstairs to get my phone, a jacket, and some jewelry. i didn't accessorize while i was in my room and it's an essential part of an outfit. kyle knows that clearly. i love his little gold link bracelet.

we walk out of the house side by side and he leads me blindly to a spot on the island. he don't cover my eyes or anything, he just didn't tell me anything about where we were going.

we eventually reach a secluded part of the island, one i hadn't explored before. not like i have done much exploring anyways- but still new to me regardless. my group didn't visit this area during our clean-up excursion, and it doesn't look like many people have touched it before that. long vines cascade down from the lengthy branches of a tree resting on the border of the beach where the sand meets the grass. small patches of violets circle the tree and surrounding areas, littering the floor with speckles of purple, blue, and white.

a small wooden shed is hidden behind the large tree, it's purpose to hold beach equipment has now been changed to stash liquor, hidden away from curious folk and wanderers. except kyle and i, and the workers with a false sense of security in their secrecy.

it's tattered appearance isn't an eye sore, rather a comforting reminder that even the rich have their own problems. money can't wash away everything.

"it's not a perfect spot, but i thought this place had potential." kyle's eyes meet mine with an obvious nervousness; searching mine for confirmation and affirmation. "it's perfect kyle. how did you find this?" i look around the beach some more, taking in the finer details of the area.

"when i can't sleep at night i go on walks." he admits plainly. he takes a seat on the beach, just far enough from the tide that the water licks his shoes. it washes some of the dried sand off of the rubber soles.

"are you going to join me, or just stand there?" he turns back to look at me and rubs a circle in the sand to his left. i stop standing there.

we sit just as we did four days ago. it feels father away ago then it really was, the last few days have been really busy. "why's your mom call you bubbie?" i ask him, recalling our night on the beach. it's a stupid question and i wish for nothing more than to have not started our date off with that. ugh.

"what?" he laughs confused, not taking his eyes off me as i sit down next to him. "i was thinking about a couple nights ago. your mom calls you bubbie, right?"

maybe i shouldn't have brought it up. "yeah, she does. she just always has, i think it's just a nickname." he thinks to himself for a moment.

"does your mom give you a nickname as embarassing as mine?" he questions back. now it's my turn to think. i try to recall any instance she has, but i can't think of any. "i don't think so. she only has ever called me by my name, or my full name when she's mad. i think it's the lawyer in her." i kind of wish she did call me something. everyone else's moms do.

"wait- your moms a lawyer?" he smiles at me, the corners of his lips quirking up as he awaits my answer. i thought everyone knew what my mom did for work. she gets a lot of the shitty cases in southpark, which means she gets the publicized ones. "yeah?" my eyes focus on the sand infront of us. i spot the spikes of a seashell buried underneath a thin layer.

"my dads a lawyer! now that i think about it, i sort of remember him saying something about your mom's firm." recognition paints his face, but he quickly shakes his head and rolls his eyes and covers his eyes in embarrassment. everything is always so much awkward when you have to be conscious of the other person and their thoughts.

he weakly looks at me, and i smile back, but my eyes don't focus on anything besides his lips. he has one faint freckle above his left bow. he notices my staring. i can't think of a faster way to embarassing myself on a date- then the exact steps i've taken so far. what is wrong with me? i quickly avert my gaze back up to his with a guilty expression, and his grin fades. tension laces the air, weaving it's way into every breath we share as our breathing syncs up, and speeds up.

he runs his tongue over his bottom lip nervously. i stare at all of his features, my eyes dancing over the surface of his skin, afraid that if i look away he'll disappear. strands of his curly red hair fall over his face. his long eyelashes frame his hazel eyes perfectly. his angular nose is alluring, and something in me wants to trace it with my fingertips. ugh- what's wrong with me?

his features suit him so well, it's like no one else on earth could possibly have the same ones. even if they did, they could never pull it off like him. he is sculpted in perfect harmony.

we finally come to the same conclusion, and lean in towards eachother. the tips of our noses briefly touch. my lips gently graze against his, neither of us wanting to push the other. we give that up quickly. no point in being nervous now.

his hand cups the side of my face, pulling me in closer towards him. our mouths connect comfortably, not awkward like i'd excepted it to be. not that i was expecting anything of course..

we pull apart for mere seconds, surveying the others emotions, before crashing back together. more confident this time. we kiss like we're starved, or one of us is going to war, or it's the last time we'll ever see eachother. passionately. intensely. i move my hand into his jaw, deepening our kiss.

my thoughts run with intricate details of the moment, like if i can recall each one it will never end.

he tastes sweet and sort of citrusy. like a fresh mango, but the flavor isn't overwhelming, and all it does is leave me wanting more. as if i'm not already inside his mouth.

his lips are soft and gentle, despite our eagerness. they're not cold, or warm, they're just right and they melt into mine.

his finger tips are careful in the way they rest, like if he touches me too hard i might shatter. delicate, like a fine china.

we release eachother from the others grasp. i can feel my heartbeat slow it's rapid beating inside my chest. my lips tingle, and i can't tell if it's from missing his, or from the interaction itself.

"kissing on the first date? who would have thought." i comment, breaking our silence. it comes out like a whisper.

"only would have dreamed." he responds. he takes his thumb and wipes the edge of his lower lip.

our bodies have turned to face eachother now, which i don't quite remember happening. it didn't make the list i was keeping in my head. his hand hasn't left my face, but it's lowered down to my neck. it keeps us connceted as our foreheads rest against eachothers.

"so you dream about me?" i try to think of anything else, but my normally racing thoughts -itching to observe the scene and people around me- can only think of kyle. and his lips. and how they felt against mine.

"if i'm not dreaming about you, i'm thinking about you." he smiles again. i control myself, even though my body warms with the sensation of wanting to close the distance between us again.

"well you need something to occupy your thoughts. or you'd be taking over the world." kyle probably could take over the world. he's very smart, and despite his reluctance to speak to new people, he has no problem with public speaking. speeches, debates, confrontations, none of it worries him. or he doesn't show it.

"who needs the world when i have you?" he says quietly. i reconsider my ability to conduct myself. but then i think. do i want to date kyle? is me kissing him leading him on? it's not if i wanted it? we're on a date right now. do i want to date him?

do i want to date kyle broflovski?

he didn't ask me. i shouldn't worry about it, or overthink it. but i do know it's coming.

i think he senses my sudden detachment and leans away, taking back his hand for himself. "i'm sorry. that was too much." he apologizes. he does it confidently though.

"no, i thought it was sweet." i reassure him. i did think it was sweet, but also a lot. i'm not nervous about what he said, just what we will lead into. why should i be so apprehensive about dating him? kyle would be a great boyfriend. we work well together, and obviously like eachother. why shouldn't we date? "i just want you to know that i like you. a lot. and i have felt like this for awhile." he admits.

well. how can i say i like him? i think he's interesting- yes. but i've barely skimmed the surface of understanding him. he isn't hard to figure out though, and with how long i've known him it doesn't make a huge difference whether or not we've been friends the whole time. he's always been around me, ever since i came to southpark. our circles of friends are too interconnected not to be near eachother.

we make some more eye contact. once again, i get lost in the memorizing swirls of his irises. it feels like i'm looking at him for hours and seconds at the same time, and neither are long enough to fully grasp him.

"oh shit! what time is it?" he frantically asks me, whipping his head around to look for his phone. mines in my pocket. "9:21, why?" i tell him, sliding my phone back into my back pocket. "some of the guys and i are having this basketball tournament at 9:30." he scrambles to his feet, helping me up once he's standing.

"i'm so sorry, y/n. i had a great time and i hope you did too." he apologizes for his rushed exit and begins to make his way towards the hill when i stop him. he's like my cinderella! "for good luck." i say, passing him the shell from earlier and enclosing it in his fist. he smiles at me, kisses me on the cheek, then rushes up the hill. he yells for me to call him once he's a reasonable distance away.

i stand on the sand facing the water. kind of dumbfounded on the events of the last hour. that was the shortest date i believe i've ever had, but definitely high on my list.

"that was cute." a voice behind me says. i turn quickly to see where it came from.

it's craig.

it makes sense he's here i suppose. this beach is right next to his house.

seeing craig's face calms my thoughts and helps me come to my decision regarding me and kyle's relationship. i can't date him, not when i can't prove that i'm solely interested in him- and him alone. because i would have kissed craig just as passionately.

i don't even really know these guys! what the fuck is wrong with me. i know nothing about them. we just became friends here on this island, FOUR DAYS AGO. this is embarassing.

"what's he need luck for?" he asks me. i can't tell if he actually cares or not, but i answer him honestly. "he's having a basketball tournament or something." not 'or something', he's just having a basketball tournament. what's wrong with me?

"maybe i should do sports tournaments too. then pretty girls will give me sea shells and i'll have an excuse to kiss them." he responds monotoned despite what just came out of his mouth. my breath hitches in my throat. not only did he see us, he just called me pretty, and said he wanted to kiss me, or maybe he was just joking, or just teasing, or just said that for fun?

"i'm sure i could find you one too."

no i can't. i just got done kissing kyle. close your mouth, and your legs. jesus christ. i need to get it together.

no i don't. i'm on island to have fun. vacation? summer break? we aren't exclusive. i can kiss who i want.

no i'm not wendy, or clyde, or drunk, or a slut. no. i won't kiss two guys minutes apart.

well i'm not in a relationship it's different.

"i'll wait." he shrugs, keeping steady eye contact with me. my eyes are sore from staring at men. i need to go back to sleep i think.

"wait, no i can't. that wouldn't be fair to kyle." i finally say, practically shoving the thoughts out of my head, and out of my mouth. i can't tell what i feel anymore.

"it wouldn't be?" he asks curiously, slowly walking towards me.

"no! we ended our date like a minute ago, i can't just kiss you." i mumble the last part of my sentence to him, but not like i needed to say it loudly with how close he is currently. maybe a foot away? six inches away? i'm not too good with distance anymore.

"awe."