𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 / 𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐚𝐧

with the new abundance of fire wood available, tolkien thought it would be a good idea to host another bonfire. taking in consideration of the previous bonfires events and also stan's new outlook on drinking, this would be a purely sober get together. if you bring your own drink, fine. don't over do it though.

a couple people from windcourt manor brought fold up chairs supplied by tolkiens parents collection, and everyone else was limited to the wooden seats. i brought a blanket since it was planned for 9 pm and temperatures were expected to be cool. all my pajama pants were thinner so i just wore sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt. the island hasn't been very warm recently.

everyone came to the fire. spots were first come first serve and as always, we came late, so i ended up sitting in between kyle and kenny on one of the wooden benches. not the worst arrangement. "this is like a dream come true. is this heaven?" kenny looked around emphasizing his joke. "shut the hell up kenny." kyle says in response, already tired of his jokes. "i just can't believe i have the privilege to sit next to angel." he tells me, continuing to lay on thick his playful affection. "shut the hell up kenny." i mimick kyles voice and wrap my blanket around myself.

"i don't sound like that." he smiles at my imitation of him. "yeah you do," kenny mumbles and draws shapes in the sand beneath us. kyle hears him and reaches around me to slap him on the back of his head like someone's mom. "woah now kyley boy. don't go making moves on my girl?" he puts on a southern accent in an attempt to sound like an offended cowboy. "i'm not making a move." he scoffs and quickly pulls back into himself.

i've barely even said a word at this point. they are so ridiculous. i consider pulling out my phone to entertain myself as they've both finally grown quiet when kyle whispers in my ear. "do you want me to?" he smiles at the shocked look on my face when i turn to him. "when did you get so bold?" i question. he just shrugs and starts a conversation up with stan on his left.

his low voice sent shivers down my spine. kyle was always very easily embarassed and never made crazy comments like kenny does to girls. he had friends who were girls obviously, but he never tried to go for anything more. at least that i know of.

girls have definitely liked him, but he always says he's trying to focus on college. which makes sense knowing his character. he's very goal oriented and focused on the future, although i guess college isn't so far away anymore. ugh.

but, the million dollar question, would i like him to make a move? probably.

wendy and clyde are sitting one person apart, but keep stealing longing glances at eachother. bebe watches both of them across the fire, with less anger than she has had in the past. jimmy talks with heidi and they are both laughing so hard they are on the verge of tears. after surveying what everyone else is doing my eyes rest on the fire. the flames climb into the chilly night air and the wood crackles quietly. it provides a comfortable source of the gentle meeting, way more laid back then we've had in awhile. it's calm. voices dance with the sound of the fire in a beautiful blend.

butters brought marshmallows and is passing them around to everyone in the circle. "butters. what are we going to use to roast them with?" tolkien asks politely. we don't have any sticks. everything was thrown into the fire or was on the ground. "well there's a tree right there." nichole hits his shoulder and points over at the larger oak to her left. "i'll just eat my marshmallow raw. thanks." he squints at the tree in a look of disgust. "you're so posh, tolkien." craig rolls his eyes and gets up from his spot. him and tweek are both in the picnic chairs, but not near eachother. tweek is near the benches next to butters, as far apart from craig as he possibly could be. "shut up craig." tweek says rather confidently. craig doesn't acknowledge him.

he surveys the tree for a moment before breaking off a long twig and returning to his chair. "tweek, come on man." he pleads annoyed. "let's just enjoy the bonfire." i remember craig saying he did like the fires. not like a pyromaniac, just the warmth and community. "you want me to just let it go? you embarassed me." he responds, obviously angry. or hurt. a mixture of both. kyle, kenny, and i all give eachother looks of shock, and obviously a little excitement. entertainment!

tweek's entire body occasionally makes a sudden twitching movement, like he got scared by something. it's not super noticeable since that's how he's always been, but it amps up in intensity and frequency when he's agitated.

"i'm sorry, okay? i already said that. let. it. go." craig puts emphasis on the last words of his sentence. tweek looks astonished. his eyes are open in offense and his mouth is agape. "everyone else already forgot about it. you should do the same." craig puts his marshmallow on his stick nonchalantly. his face is blank. he has no emotion behind his words besides his obvious annoyance in the publicity of their conversation. tweeks face contorts into one of sadness and his glazed eyes shine in the glow of the fire. "i love you." he restates, "i love you craig." he keeps intense eye contact with craig.

"are you kidding me right now." craig responds angrily. his marshmallow stick hangs loosely in his grip. "i love you." tweek repeats. this was not the turn i expected! "stop saying that." he takes his free hand and rubs his forehead, even further annoyed. "are you going to say it back?" his voice wavers and he tries to blink away his tears. everyone is completely quiet, focused on the situation at hand.

we should really stop having bonfires.

"this isn't even about me saying your business anymore- what the fuck." he grumbles and drops his stick to cover his face with his hands. tears fall from tweeks eyes, slowly streaming down his face as he looks for a response. "you can't just make people love you by loving them harder, tweek. we broke up in 6th grade. it's time to let go." he finishes when he brings his hands off his face in a slow drag.

"I CAN'T. WHY DONT YOU UNDERSTAND?" tweek responds exasperated. he was on the edge of his seat waiting for an answer, and clearly it wasn't the one he was hoping for. "why don't you understand? i don't love you tweek, truthfully, i don't think i ever have." everyone turns to survey tweeks face. you can practically see his heart break. his shiny blonde hair reflects the heat of the fire, occasionally appearing ginger as the flames dance through the night. "SO I JUST- WASTED.. ALL THIS TIME?" he gestures forward with his hands shakily. he pauses inbetween his words to insure he speaks clearly; a quirk he's developed over the years due to people's bullying. his entire body is actually shaking, now. his lip quivers as tears trickle out of his eyes at a slow pace. his eyes are open widely in desperation, looking at craig's features like he just shot him.

"the love and time you gave wasn't a waste, it was just misdirected. i can't love you tweek. not like how you want." he stands up and leaves. he steps on his twig as he makes his exit and it snaps in half. it's a sad resemblance of tweek's heart and he looks exhausted. and embarassed.

"that was quite a scene. you okay tweek?" butters asks from his position on his right. no one else has interjected into the conversation. not jimmy. not bebe. not wendy. no one. tweek swallows hard, wipes his shed tears from his face, and then answers. "um. yeah." his voice breaks. his lip continues to quiver. he then resumes crying. he slowly hands his marshmallow back to butters, mumbled something, and then walks off to the beach.

"maybe bonfires are cursed here." jimmy quips. "don't say that." tolkien holds back a laugh and shakes his head. "well the first time we had one-" jimmy starts to talk before he's cut off by bebe. "everyone knows what happened jimmy." venom laces her words. she drops her head and starts smiling, able to find the humor in the situation and her tone. wendy has been staring at her intensely sense she opened her mouth."and what couple is up next to the chopping block?" jimmy announces this like a game show host. there's only one couple left anyways so this joke is just okay. "dude." stan joins into the conversation, he kind of has had a distance look on his face the entire time we've been here. just looking into the fire, with the occasional comment to kyle.

jimmy holds his hands up in surrender and sips on the dark bottle he brought. "dude." kyle says in response to jimmy drinking. his tone isn't dissimilar to stan's. "what?" he questions. confusion is woven into his forehead and his brows furrow trying to figure out what he did wrong. kyle just stares at him like he's trying to convey the message telepathically. "tolkien said i can bring whatever i want as long as i don't share." he states, kind of whining. "whatever. still kind of a dick move." kyle shrugs and stares off into the fire angrily. everyone is so angry and annoyed today! they all need a nap. stan leans over to kyle, but doesn't turn to him. just closing the gap inbetween themselves. he whispers but i'm close enough that i can still hear it.

"thanks, but i'm not unstable. people can drink around me and i won't start foaming at the mouth." he tells him. his voice is quiet and sweet, not trying to hurt kyle's feelings. "don't pity me. and you don't need to protect me. this is my shit to deal with." he leans back over comically into his original position.

his eyes never leave the fire and the blaze is visible in his pupils. his deep black hair appears almost dark brown in the glow of the flames, which alight his whole face. his nose has a straight slope and all of his features work harmoniously together, i seriously couldn't imagine stan being any different then he is now. he hasn't ever changed much though. all the southpark men are rather pretty, but most of them grew into their good looks. stan has always been attractive. he's always been unique too, especially in his personality.

stan always holds true to himself and his beliefs, and refuses conform to the people around him. that's probably why the goth kids liked him so much throughout middle school. he holds a natural leadership position, a helpful skill as a quarterback i suppose. and despite being popular, he keeps to himself and the people around him. he doesn't make a lot of attempts to branch out beyond his circle and the things he likes; but if he feels inclined to he will. he really holds on tight to the people close to him- like a loyal dog will.

"i get that." kyle responds in an equally quiet voice. kenny has continued drawing shapes in the sand. he has an entire arsenal of sand doodles at his feet now, which reminds me of that night me and kyle were talking. i should call him sometime; that was fun. "do you have a problem wendy?" bebe randomly asks loudly. i think she noticed wendy's prying eyes. "not if you don't." she replies unimpressed. clyde surveys wendy's side profile deeply, searching her features for her intentions. his concerned studying isn't much different from his attracted staring though.

bebe holds wendy's eye contact with unwavering determination. the most serious eye contest in the world. i, and everyone else, can clearly see that their animosity for eachother has not faded. it was just dormant out of curtesy for the people around them.

maybe bonfires really are cursed around here.