you cant treat me
right, but won't let me go...
TW : CNC, intense gaslighting

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I bite my lip nervously as I fall under Theodore's gaze and I see him lightly scoff even from far away.

Why did I wear this dress?

We were both at this party and it was crowded. I think the whole of Slytherin was here and about half of every other house.

It's Mattheo's birthday and so he went all out.

But still, it feels that no matter where I am or who I'm with : Theodore will always be there. Watching me.

And... I don't know if I hate or love that. It's like I'm protected but at the same time I'm locked up.

Everything I want to do is limited. The last thing I would want is for Theodore to be angry at me.

Because when he's angry we argue.

And most of our arguments end up with me all bruised and him scratched up as I try to defend myself.

Talking about fights; we're currently in one. Which is why I'm questioning my outfit choice.

Let me explain: me and Theodore got into a really bad fight and anger just took over me.

And so I took advantage of the fact that there was a party coming up and decided to wear the shortest and sluttiest dress I had.

It sucked so bad because Theodore - wether I liked it or not - he did have all control over me. Physically and mentally.

He's 18 and I'm 16. It's his last year here at Hogwarts but it definitely won't be the last time I'll be seeing him.

And even if I didn't see him, he takes over my mind like a curse. That's the word. Curse. He's cursed me and taken over every part of me.

But anything he had to say would be correct, right? I shouldn't have worn this.

He's told me so many times that my body is only for him to see and he's right. I shouldn't be wearing this.

He probably thinks I look terrible. I probably do look terrible. Why did I wear this?

Insecurity bubbles up inside of me after his look at me, and I'm quick to say bye to my friends, take one last shot and leave.

I sulk as I walk down the empty hallways, the smell of smoke slowly going away as I leave the party.

Ironically, 5 minutes into me walking, the smell of smoke overcomes me as the cold wall hits my back and I scream in fear.

"Shhh." Theodore shushes me, pressing me even harder against the wall. I let out a breath of relief which soon turns into fear.

He's probably very angry.

"Open up." He says, gesturing to the cigarette.

"I don't want it." I mumble, trembling.

"Open up." He insists.

I open my mouth and he puts the cigarette into it, making me smoke it. I cough lightly when he pulls it out and turn my head away a little.

"Why are you like this? Why do you feel the need to be a fucking whore? This dress is covering nothing and you look fucking horrible."

Tears prick to my eyes when his grip tightens on me, pressing me even harder against the wall as he talks.

"I don't know how many time you need to suffer before you learn that you need to start doing as I tell you."

He blows smoke into my face and I cough even harder.

"You're going to learn your lesson todaywether you like it or not."

He grabs my wrist and starts dragging me to his dorm. I apologize the whole time there but he shuts me up halfway by putting the cig back in my mouth.

"Make yourself useful and finish that off." He says and my face screws in disgust as I blow smoke out of my mouth.

-

It doesn't take long for us to get to his dorm and he shoves me in. Literally.

I bang my shoulder on the floor as I fall on my side and he harshly picks me up, pinning me against the wall, my feet leaving the floor as I bite my lip, holding in tears.

His hamd trails up the middle of legs and I squeeze my eyes shut. Fuck, I'm scared.

"You know you asked for this?" He asks, massaging the inside of my thigh.

"I know." I mumble. "I'm sorry." I say, even quieter.

He lifts me up even more, laying me down on his bed and I know better than to sit up or resist as he takes my dress off.

He does it slowly, teasing me.

I start squirming under his touch when he slips it off, his eyes glued on me like a starved animal.

"You look better with it off." He mumbles, hands all over my body. I whimper when he presses my hips down.

He unclaps my bra and quickly slides down my underwear, wasting no time at all.

He mutters something under his breath - a spell - and I'm suddenly harshly tied up, my legs spread so far apart it hurts.

He continues eyeing me as he takes his own clothes off and I can already feel myself throb when he takes his shirt off.

The 8-pack never disappoints.

"You like what you see, huh?" The mood lightens up for about 2 milliseconds as I giggle a little, wetting my lips.

He leaves his boxers on as he knees at the foot of the bed, massaging the inside of my thighs and I let put an accidental moan, nervous.

"You're so wet and I haven't even touched you yet." He says and I blush.

He looks up at my face twisting in pleasure as he starts rubbing my clit, kissing my thigh at the same time.

He pushes two fingers inside of me and I gasp, moaning louder at his thumb stil rubbing my clit.

"Shhh." He shushes me and I try to hold in my moans and whimpers as he speeds up.

He's going at a steady pace with his fingers, it's torture. If he was going faster, I would've finished by now.

"Theo. I'm gonna cum." I warn, voice hoarse.

As soon as I say that, he stops. Removing his touch from my body. I whine at the loss, trying to squirm but the rope too tight.

He stands up and damn. He's smirking down at me and it's the kind of smirk that gives pity.

Pity for what's to come for me.

He slips down his boxers and... that's another thing that never disappoints.

He literally doesn't waste a second more than he has to before placing himself on top of me and abruptly sliding into me.

I'm already so wet and so he slides in with ease and I let out a loud moan. "Theodore." I breathe out as he starts already setting the pace.

I swear I can fucking feel him in my stomach.

I let out a scream of pleasure when he starts going rougher. Harsh thrusts into me - unforgiving.

He grips my waist down and I can feel my breasts moving with each thrust, pleasure taking over the pain.

"Theodore!" He grazes my g-spot harder with each thrust and I'm a moaning mess.

I can hardly take him when he's being gentle, but the pace he's going at is impossible.

I try to scream but my voice doesn't come out. "Fuck- Theodore slow down!" I plead.

"You're gonna have to fucking take it now." He says, pinching my nipples and I moan.

I'm so close. Fuck, I'm so close.

I don't even have time to say anything before my whole body trembles and I finish all over him, screaming his name.

He doesn't slow down, his hips don't even buckle as he keeps drilling into me, squeezing my boob so hard that it'll bruise later.

Tears are streaming down my face and everything hurts so bad. My body feels like it's burning.

Your safe word, Y/n.

"Sapphire! Theo, stop!" I plead, his pace only speeding up as I sobbed underneath him.

The familiar feeling of my stomach twisting returned and it was joined with the now bittersweet feeling of seeing Theodore smirking over me as I finished all over him again.

"Sapphire..." I mumble, body limp as he holds my torso up and pulls out of me.

"Hm? Couldn't hear you, darling." He untied me, still stroking himself to the sight of me.

He flips me over, lifting my ass up and I whine, protesting.

"No more, Theodore. I can't take it." I say, feeling my upper body slump down on the bed as he places my wrists behind me.

"Still can't hear you, princess." He mutters, very harshly thrusting into me from behind and I let out a loud cry.

"It hurts!" I cry again and he only goes harsher. Fuck, it really does hurt so bad.

"Sapphire..." I try again, body trmbling and he only goes faster, the room filled with the sound of sex.

And the evening goes pretty much like that.

-

I tremble in Theodore's bed, naked with his white sheets on top of me. I'm bathed and looked after.

By the same guy who couldn't hear me saying the safe word?

Yep, him.

It's funny because that was the same guy who was laughing with me, watching a film together right now.

"You know I love you, sweetheart?"

"I said sapphire." I mumble as he cuddles me.

"Y/n, stop being silly. I would've stopped if you said your safe word. You didn't say it." He says and I frown, nodding.

Maybe I was gaslighting myself?

"Love you too." I say.

And it stayed like that. With my safe word hanging in the air like a bubbe that he pops every time.

But yet again, I always end up in his bed.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

a few of you have asked for
a theo nott version of
toxic!! i hope i havent

forgotten anniversary
part 2 might take a little
to be poated because i have
some other things i already
want to post <3

got my nails done and omg
they look perfect

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