you kinda breaking no contact...

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I sigh, a bitter taste being left in my mouth as I down my vodka.

I didn't even want to be here, my friends forced me to come to the club. And now they've abandoned me for their boyfriends.

Typical.

Well, I shouldn't really be salty. If I still had a boyfriend, I would do the same thing.

But unfortunately all men are dickheads. Especially my ex, Theodore.

Oh, Theo.

Maybe he's why I agreed to come here. So I could get drunk and have a few hours where I wouldn't think of him.

But getting drunk isn't working, which only makes me think about him more.

I drag myself off of the bar stool, rejecting some guys as I make my way out of the club.

The small taser I have is burning a hole in my bra as I walk back to Hogwarts, the dark of the night swallowing me up.

If Theodore would be here, I would feel so much safer. He made me feel safe. Protected. Wanted. Loved.

All of those in the past tense though. Because we aren't together anymore.

I genuinely believe that we don't even act like ex's. We act like fucking strangers.

We act as if we never had anything and as if those 3 years meant nothing to either of us.

It's not even about avoiding or ignoring eachother in a malicious way, we just act like nothing happened.

Which honestly hurt me so much more.

Because deep down, there really is no one to fill the void Theodore left.

No one can do it like he did. We really were perfect. Our sex life. The dates we went on. Our chemistry.

Because although he was the love of my life and my literal soulmate, he was also my best friend.

The one I could trust and confide in. So when I lost my boyfriend, I lost my best friend ever.

I arrive to the castle soon, the drinks slowly getting to me. I didn't feel drunk at all while in the club, but now that I'm at the castle, I feel dizzy.

How much did I even drink?

I walk into the common room, but as soon as I do, I bump into a hard chest and hear laughter dying down.

I look up and see Theodore and his friends. But I don't care about his friends.

It's like time stops as I look into Theodore's eyes, everything in the background going away as we stare at eachother.

"Yeah, she's drunk."

"Can she even get to her dorm? Look at her shoes, she'll fall."

"Theodore, go take care of your girl."

I hear the other boys speak, and Theodore elbows one in the chest.

I look around at them now and they're dressed nicely. I wonder where they're going.

Theodore gulps and hesitates, but steps behind me and starts guiding me somewhere with his hand on my back.

"We'll wait here, bro." One of them says.

"I'll just take you to your dorm, Y/n. Okay?" Theodore says, smiling down at me and I don't even react or say anything.

I think even my drunk self knew how... surprising this moment was.

We get to my dorm and he looks at mt expectantly, but I only blink back and step closer to him.

"Do you have your key with you, darling? Can I look for it?" He says, looking at my purse.

As I go to grab my purse and hand it to him, I feel my dress go up a little and suddenly realize how short it is, which makes me look away from him.

His gaze doesn't linger though; he quickly finds my key, opening my door and making sure I lock it behind me before leaving.

~

I wake up the next day, head spinning.

I quickly come to, thanking God that I don't feel the need to throw up. Maybe I didn't drink that much.

But, still, I was definitely drunk. But not drunk enough to forget what happened last night.

That Theodore helped me when he didn't have to. The look in his eyes. Such a familiar look. The look of love.

It hasn't changed. I know it, because I feel it too.

The love is still there, the feelings have never changed. I ask myself why we're in this no contact situation every day.

But, now I know what I have to do. I have to break it. For my own peace. For our peace, I would hope.

And hopefully we can get back together.

~

I curled my hair perfectly, made sure my uniform looked sleek, did a simple makeup look and glanced at the bathroom mirror one more time before I walked down the halls.

I see my target and maintain soft eye contact with Theo as I make my way toward him.

He blinks and looks away as I step in front of him.

"Can we talk?" I say, following his eyes.

His friend, I think his name is Mattheo, smirks and pushes Theo toward me which earns him a jab in the stomach.

But it works, because now me and Theodore are walking toward our corner in silence.

"Hey." I say, not hesitating as I cup his cheek and make him look at me.

"Hi." He says and I smile. Hearing his voice just brought back a whole load of intense emotions.

I wasn't expecting this to be so dramatic.

"Thanks for yesterday. I didn't realise how drunk I was."

"You don't have to thank me. I wouldn't let you go back alone."

"Where were you going?" I say; it might've been out of line to ask, but I couldn't care less.

"The club. Ended up not going, though."

"Oh."

"How've you been?" Theodore says, slumping down on the wall and sitting down on the floor, looking up at me.

I sit next to him and look at him, his eyebags just a tint bit darker. Other than that, nothings changed.

"You first."

"Fucking shit." He says, looking at me and I blush for some reason.

"Oh. Why?"

He laughs, scoffing. "Why? Is that a joke?"

I'm taken aback by the change in tone, but I respond anyway.

"If you've been fucking shit, I've been 10 times worse, Theo. 100 times worse. It's been fucking shit for me too, okay?"

I feel my lip tremble and I hear my voice wobble, and before I even know what's happening, I'm crying.

He hugs me so tight, pulling me on top of him.

"I- I don't know w- why I'm crying." I say and the look in his eyes is apologetic.

But I do know why I'm crying. Because I have missed Theodore so much that my life has been empty without him.

I haven't had a motive to get up, it was like a robot was doing it for me. Like a shell of myself was living my life.

I need Theodore to function. To feel. To be happy.

"Calm down, sweetheart. We can talk about this." He says, stroking my hair.

And I do, wiping my tears and sniffing.

"I've missed you." I say, tears threatening to spill again.

"Shhh. I've missed you, too. So much more."

"Impossible." I breathe out, a tear crawling down my cheek.

"Y/n, you're my other half. When we ended, that's like half of me being ripped out of me and I was left with all the bad parts-"

"You have no bad parts." I say, with all the certainty in the world.

"This is why I love you. You've always believed in me when no one else has. You've been my number one supporter; my rock."

Tears are streaming down my face as he expresses his love for me, and when he's finished and stroking my hair, I can only say 3 words.

"I love you."

We both release a breath, and it's almost like an understanding. That this was just an obstacle. And now we can be better than ever.

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guys i love you all SO MUCH

*not edited*

i lowkey hate this

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