It's been around two days. Two days since I broke up with Connor. And I'll be honest, it's been hard focusing. I just had no idea that my very first day on set would be so stressful.

However, Louis and I are getting much better at pretending to be good friends. He watches me from the side of the set, giving little tiny smiles and clapping whenever I finish a scene. And that's what he was doing right now.

Today we filmed the scene with Enola and Sherlock, when she sits in the tree and draws that picture of Mycroft, and as of right now, we are filming the scene when Enola sits on her bed, the night before she's supposed to go to the finishing school, and she's untangling her mother's message.

I feel the cameras on me as I switch letters around to try and create the secret message.
"Our future is up to us."

I smile, turning my head to he camera.

"And scene! Excellent job today y/n, I know it was a long one."

And boy was it. Up at seven again, shot the first scene, took a break, and came back at eight at night to film the bedroom scene. Louis came for both.

I take a sigh of relief and hop off the bed, brushing a loose strand of hair out of my face and walking off set.

Finishing a day of filming is the best feeling of relief. Like when you wake up for school but then realize it's a Saturday.
"Y/n and Louis can you come here for a moment please?" Harry waves from behind one of the cameras while he spoke with some producers.

I take a small sigh and look to Louis, who was walking over to Harry. I join in and brush down my pleated white costume as we approach him.

"So as you know, tomorrow we film the train scene with Enola and Tewksbury. Y/n be ready to be on set by ten and Louis, we won't need you until twelve. Make sure you got your lines down alright?"

Oh yeah, did I mention that my first scenes with him are tomorrow? Yeah. I'm freaking out. It'll be my first time using a green screen, and I honestly don't know if I'm ready.

But the positive is that Enola doesn't really like Tewksbury yet anyways. So I won't really have to act.
"Got it. Thank you Harry," I grin, turning around with Louis as we both walk side by side, yet don't say a word.

"You did really good on set today y/n," he finally speaks up, giving me a smile as we push open a door that leads out to our trailers.
"Thank you Partridge," I say back, holding my chin up high and feeling our hands slide against one another, yet again.

"You nervous for tomorrow?" The boy continued the conversation, tucking his hands into his gray joggers.
"Just a little bit," I shrug.

"How come?"

"It's my first time using a green screen? And it's my first scene with you." I mumble the last sentence.
It's true. I am scared to film with Louis. But I have to be professional. No matter who I have to work with.

"Touché darling, touché."

I bite my tongue as the boy say's darling. He's never called me anything besides my name. And the way he pronounced it, the way his deep British tone filled my ears, sent very subtle goosebumps down my arms.

We arrive at his trailer first, and the boy peels off.
"See you tomorrow then?"

I nod, resisting the urge not to smile at the fact that we finally were talking again after what happened two nights ago.
"Yeah, see you tomorrow..."

I head to me and Louis' designer trailer and knock on the door before giving it a small push.
"Hello?"

"Hey Amara," I sigh in exhaustion, stepping inside and taking out a water bottle from my backpack, gulping down the liquid.

"Long day?" She asks, pulling out my seat and allowing me to sit down.
"Was it ever..." I sigh and stare at my figure in the mirror.

She and I talk for a while as she takes out my bobby pins and hair ties. She kinda feels like my own personal therapist. Someone I talk to after a long day.

"Well you got these few days over with. Harry told me that he needed to get these first scenes out of the way, so from here on out you should only be shooting one or two daily."

I nod as she finishes taking things out of my hair, and then stand up to change back into my normal clothes.
"Good. Because I dont know if I'd survive with how much we've been doing recently."

She lets out a soft chuckle and then pushes back in my chair.
"I get it. The first few days are always the hardest. Now go ahead and change back into some comfy clothes alright?"

I give her a nod and close the door behind me. Day four, done.

~

Once I arrived back in my trailer, which was nice and warm from the heater I had running, since it's supposed to get cold tonight, I hurried to the bathroom, and first thing I did was wash my face from the subtle makeup.

Then I took a short and quick shower since after a few minutes the water turns freezing cold.

Lastly, I plopped on my bed, wearing a hoodie and joggers, letting my hair air dry.

Finally, I spent forever trying to fall asleep. I began trying at around ten fifteen, but the nerves were keeping me awake. No matter what I did. And that's me right now. Staring at the ceiling, trying to wait until I can't keep my eyes open anymore.

Like I felt tired, but my mind won't let me sleep. One of those nights, you know?
Like no matter how hard you try, you just can't do it.
So instead I'll make myself tired.

I used to do this thing back at home, that I do alone. No one even knows I do it. When I can't fall asleep, I'd sneak outside and sit in the grass, watching the sky and just letting nature make me tired.

Dad never wants me going outside at night because he's afraid someone will recognize me, take pictures, or someone will take me. So I'd have to be quiet.

And it always worked. I always fell asleep. And it's already eleven. I need this sleep. So I'm gonna go outside and try to calm myself down.

I quickly hop off my bed and slip on some shoes, before grabbing out a picnic blanket and leaving my trailer.

Once I found a nice spot, I laid it out and sat down, immediately closing my eyes.
I guess it's kind of like meditation, but I don't really do anything. I just close my eyes and sit there.

And that's what I did. I closed my eyes, taking a couple deep breaths.

It felt like only a few minutes of silence before I heard a door gently close, and some footsteps coming up behind me.

"Y/n?"

I recognize the gentle voice.

"Louis?"

I turn around and see a boy, rubbing his eyes and smiling a little.

"Whatcha doin'?" He quietly sighs, sitting next to me.
I close my eyes again, just listening to trees riffling and the little chirping bugs.
"I could ask you the same thing," I say as the boy gently closes his eyes.

"Why do you want to sit next to me?"

"I don't know."

"Well can you leave?"

"No."

I sigh and drop my head. I mean it would be nice to just have a moment by myself. Just to help me sleep.
"So why'd you come out here?" Louis asks, opening his eyes again and looking over to me. I felt my heart beat increase at his soft expression, just kindly looking at me.

"I can't sleep..." I admit and rub my eyes a little.
"Really?" He asks.

"Yup."

"Me neither. I was gonna come out here by myself but then I saw you and I don't know I guess I'd just feel better if I were sitting beside you," he stutters slightly through his words.

I'd even say he looked a bit flustered.

There was a moment of silence between us, while gentle whirring of wind was heard.

"So... how are you and Connor?" He asks, clearing his throat and looking my way.

Another thing to know: I haven't told anyone about my fall out with Connor.

"I broke up with him..." I carefully sigh, feeling like I know the reaction ahead.
The boy's eyes fly open and he turns his whole body to me.
"Wait what? Oh god please don't tell me it's my fault, I really didn't mean to break you two apart or anything I just th-"

"It's not your fault... I'm happy you told me the things he did. Because it's true. I don't know... but it didn't go well."

He takes a quick breath of relief and looks forward again.
"You wanna talk about it?"

Do I? Yes. But not right now. I'm trying to calm down, not stress even more.
"Maybe later..." I sigh, and clear my throat.

Change the conversation y/n.

"How come you can't sleep?" I ask, dusting off my joggers from the small sticks that had stuck on from the ground. He seems to get the memo and releases a small breath.
"Just thinking about tomorrow... it's a pretty crazy scene to film I guess."

"I get it," I shrug as I finish dusting my pants, and go back to taking a couple deep breaths, "but I think we'll be just fine."

He nods a bit and folds his hands into his lap. "I'm not gonna lie," he begins, "I've been pretty stressed out with this movie recently..."

I take a deep breath and look up at the dark sky, speckled with stars.
"How come? I mean you haven't filmed any scenes yet?"

Oops. I don't wanna continue this conversation. Or any actually. But hearing Louis say he was stressed to me... I don't know. It feels like he trusts me. But why the hell would he?

The brown haired boy smiles down at my question, and then looks up at the sky with me, "Just seeing you do it so well. And knowing that it's been a while since I've filmed, I guess I'm afraid I'll mess up."

I nod and tuck some loose strands of hair away.
"I worry about the same things. It normal, don't worry."

And now I'm trying to be comforting? What's going on?

"You know, you aren't so bad y/n. I'm not gonna lie to you, I thought you were annoying for a really long time but... you seem to be kinda warming up to me," he teases, using his elbow to gently nudge me.

I can't help but smile, "I am not!"
"Yes you are!"
"Okay fine but only a little. I still hate you Partridge."
"And I hate you Downey."

There was a long pause between the two of us. It was uncomfortable but yet comfortable at the same time.

I don't hate him.

I don't. I know it. So perhaps I should tell him? No no that's weird. And random. Maybe I do still hate him. Maybe I never hated him. May-

"I don't hate you," he blurts out suddenly, putting me into surprise for a second.
"I don't at all. And I don't think I ever did. I think I was just jealous. That finally I got a role that could help me become a famous actor, which was always my dream. But even after we finished filming it... you were still in the spotlight. No one even said congratulations to me," Louis admits, eyeing the blanket sheepishly, "I was just jealous that even after all my hard work, no one seemed to care or even notice. But I feel like I took that out on you. And I'm sorry..."

I look down and bite my tongue.

"I don't hate you either," I admit, "I just say that I do because- well I was jealous too," I chuckle a bit.
"I was jealous that you got what I wanted. I wanted to get that role and start my dream, but I get that I should've just been happy for you..."

He shrugs and smiles a bit, "That's alright. I get why you'd be frustrated."

I smile as well and look down, then back up, and then at the boy.
"Why are we getting along?"

He looks back at me and our eyes lock. As if they're frozen and neither of us could move them.
"I don't know," he begins in a talking voice with a smile. His eyes stare into my soul and I felt comfortable with the soft haze inside them,
"But I like this," he whispers.

I smile and look down before gently nodding as my head gets heavier. And heavier. And heavier. At this point I guess I just don't care. I carefully rest my head on his shoulder and close my tired eyes, "I like this too."

There was a comfortable moment of silence between us. A moment where all that was heard was the gentle whirring of wind, and the chirping of creatures in the trees. We weren't pretending anymore. No one could see us, and yet were actually getting along, and actually found it comfortable to be around one another.

And I remember that feeling I used to get in Mr. Claffile's class, as me and him shared a textbook and he'd call me a bitch. I'd roll my eyes at him. And we'd just go back and fourth.

But now I look back at that version of myself and all I can wonder is...

What was that girl thinking?

"Y/n?" I hear a whisper.

"Mhm?" I respond in a sleepy mumble.

"I-" there was a moment of hesitation and rethinking, "Don't worry about tomorrow. You'll do great alright?"

I smile a bit and nod, "Thank you Lou..."

I felt myself sinking, the sounds of nature becoming slurred.

And then it went dark.

~
A/N: AKDJQD in my dreams
I hope you all liked this chapter!! Thank you for your love!!