Trigger warning: Abuse and mentions of gore.

If these topics make you uncomfortable skip to the next chapter!

Provide feedback at the end <3

I couldn't remember exactly when it all started. All I knew was that when it was just me, then it would happen. And I couldn't tell anyone about it, not even my dad. He wouldn't let me.

He'd say that if I did then he'd do it again. But he would anyway even when I didn't try to get attention from anyone.

I hated it just being me and him in the house. It was usually when my uncle merle was getting shit faced at a bar and my dad was out in the woods or forced along with my uncle, and I wast home. With my gramps. I hated him.

We all lived together, whether we liked it or not. Family, they said. But were we really a family if we couldn't look at each other in the eye with a smile when he was around?

"You're a fucking disgrace!" His voice boomed from behind the door. Grandpa Will's drunken rang followed by loud bashes on Lilia's bedroom door. "Open the door, now!"

Her body was cold, head feeling clogged up from all her worry rushing throughout her head. An 11 year old shouldn't feel like this, or have to suffer through this..but Lilia did. She was one of the souls of the Dixon family that faced Will's wrath, sober or not his hits still made a permanent scar on them. Physical and emotional.

She felt like she was looking down upon herself like a spectator. She was crouched in front of the door, as if her small body weight could hold back the rage from the other side. Her knees up to her chin with her arms squeezing them, attempting to feel some small warmth from her blood to keep her calm. Eyes were glossy and threatened to spill out, but she couldn't. Crying was not allowed. Breath hitching at every bang, not daring to blink incase something drastic suddenly happens. Her lumbs were numb from the immense holding.

Her lungs felt incapable of drawing breath anything. In the very back or her head, behind the faint ringing in her eyes and thumping on her wooden door, the sound of a glass bottle shattering made her heart drop and shatter with it. A dark chuckle, echoing around as if it was just her standing alone in the cabin. They lived on the edge of the woods, nobody would be able to hear her pleads.

She felt unsafe and on edge, triggering her senses to flood back and immediately gain consciousness. She placed her head in her hands and pressed over her ears to block everything. She could feel the door against her back, pressing and shoving her, pushing her forwards due to the sudden weight and then quickly shuffled several steps forward.

"Didn't you hear me?" He bellowed out, and the rattling of the doorknob scared  her more. His jagged edge to her voice went straight through her. She blinked, but no matter how much she blinked she couldn't wake up. This was reality for her. She tried to push her hair out of her face, but her hands were shaking that much it only made it fall back into place as she could barely control her movements.  "I said open this door."

The doorknob stopped rattling, the sound falling with a last shake from it before the squeak of the door followed when it opened.

The poor girl tried to turn away from him, terrified to see the familiar, angry face miles above her, who she was suppose to call family. No matter how many times she shook her head his features still stayed the same with drunken rage and dark patch of void. He reached out for her, a broken beer bottle in his other hand and swung lazily but she moved back even further. It was like he wanted to rip everything around her into shreds, staring with his granddaughter first. If he were to lay a hand on something, it would be her as it would break without even thinking about it.

She couldn't trust anyone for that matter, she just wanted her dad..

"You listen to me when I ask you to do things, you hear me?!" He roared, towering over her with a firm grip on her small arm. It burned on her, like a hot iron sizzling into her flesh and burning through the small bones. His breath reaked of alcohol and danger waiting to throw up.

"I- I'm so-sorry pa-" Her quiet voice trembled, her speech was cut off with a feeling of her stomach scrunching up into a knot due to the impact of a fist punching through it.

He backslapped her again, almost making her loose her balance but his hold was enough to keep her firmly on the ground but with a sore arm, stomach and bruised face.

"Don't lie." He grimaced. "You're just as pathetic as they are. I can't believe he kept you!"

He continued to yell in outrage. She couldn't help but shake at her throbbing stomach and face. Was she tasting blood in her mouth? Or was it the tears that continued to stream down her cheeks are her defensive words choked by her audible sobs.

He grabbed her wrists harshly and dragged her to the small living area, near the front door. "You're a mistake. I told him!" His words slurred and dropped her harshly onto the ground. "I said to get rid of you when he had the chance. But did he listen? No. He never does."

"Because of you. You messed shit up. You're the reason my wife is dead! She couldn't handle you."

"I wish it was you that died in that fire instead of her."

Any words or protest would only stir things more. But she never dared to speak up for herself anyways. She remained on the carpet at his rant to her. Flinching at any time he got closer or swung his bottle around, scared that it would 'accidentally' slip out his hands and hopefully aim at her head. His fingers then went towards her and enclosed a bunch of her hair and pulled her up. She then again cried out in pain but was once again ignored too.

She couldn't hear anything, she didn't want to anymore. He shook her violently, her hair felt like it was going to rip out at any moment. His voice was inaudible, like someone muted a TV but it just kept playing. Her head was like the middle of a rope in tug of war, just waiting to be stretched to its breaking point.

He panted, the tension still stuck on his face and was mad as hell. But it seemed like he had had enough yelling at her for one hour. Maybe tomorrow will be something new, or the same rounite over and over again.

Go to school.

Be picked up.

Merle goes out.

Dad goes out.

It happens.

They come back and all she would do is sit in silence with nothing but a painful smile on her face. She couldn't tell anyone. She didn't want to break the family.

But what she didn't realise that her family was already broken from the inside out.

She couldn't fix something broken if she was already broken herself.

The 11 year old didn't know how to feel. But guilty that she didn't come forward sooner. If she told now then she would be pushed away and be told a liar. She's a child..

It took her an hour to try to act like  nothing had happened. Her blotchy face that was previously drenched with tears was dry, and pale. Her shaky arms and legs were stiff and couldn't move. Her fuzzy head was nothing but full of questions and thoughts that she had to bottle up and keep to herself.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Although it didn't take long for all them things to burst out, like someone had saved her and opened the bottle. And allowed her to finally speak out about everything.

As soon as the apocalypse hit, things started to go more downhill pretty quick. Living in a poor, run down, cabin near the woods, where people of the dead roamed wasn't a very good place. But it was the only place where we could stay whilst in power of him.

Until everything fell apart.

Blood gushed down his arm, a chunk had been ripped out like it was nothing.  A walker which was somehow missed got through. It must've been' 'accidentally' ignored by someone.

How did I not hear its groan from behind, the sound of it dragging it's body parts across leaves, and it's spotty hiss it made through its decaying teeth that outshine its yellowed, pulpy bits of bloody flesh? Its snaps at it tried to bite beforehand, to contain their terrible hunger for fresh flesh and to drown out the painful moaning sound when it chomped?

It's rotten corpse jumped at him, the flesh fell at his fingers skinned into the meat but it was almost as if it was too strong for him to overpower like he did to everyone else. The skin of the walker pealed back like the casing of a sausage to reveal rotten sinew and tissue now softer than mud that was below them, in the woods..the place of his not so peaceful death and ending to his tragic story. Its flesh slipped off the still-solid skeleton underneath until it downed on his arm to the very bone.

It looked gross, or at least whatever I saw was before my eyes were covered and pushed into the side so I couldn't see the unpleasant actions, before the ping of an arrow stopped it from eating his flesh away. It slumped on the ground.

He was going to die. Me, my dad, uncle merle and gramps only went out to hunt, but came back with nothing, but one less arrow that before that was pierced into the head by my uncle merle with no mercy.

Will Dixon never deserved mercy anyways. Now he's dead.

As soon as I finally got the courage to tell them what happened..what really went off when they weren't here, I couldn't stop myself from crying. Having to almost relive them moments just to explain how much of a small difference there was between him and a monster..hurt me. All my dad and I could do was be there for each other from now on.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

I would never call myself badass, ruthless, silent but deadly kind of type.

I'm 'badass' because I don't wanna take shit from people who think they're more powerful than me.

I'm 'ruthless' because I was forced to learn that showing compassion or emotion was nothing but bad, people could use it against you and I only learnt that the bad way.

I was the 'silent but deadly' type because you don't plan to get your way out loud.

I was a young survivor that grew up too quickly.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"I ain't gonna let you ruin my life." I muttered, tears glossing my eyes. My hands fidgeting together on my lap, but a brave face overthrowed everything. I haven't been so open about it in a long time. "Or our lives."

"Why not, kid?" Negan asked quietly.

"Because," I shrugged.

"I'm a Dixon, asshole."

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

okay hey guys 🙃 how are y'all

this may be short but it took ages to write lemme tell ya omg wasn't that a rollercoaster

What did you guys think? comment here!!!