[november]

Attempting to tell Jin his secret before chickening out had become a repeated recurrence.

Namjoon had been trying to find "the right time", but could never follow through. He'd start to explain and then bail, or they'd get interrupted by someone or something.

Maybe next time, he would tell himself over and over again.

Jin clearly knew something was up. But, he didn't want to push it.

After all, Namjoon was the perfect boyfriend, and he himself had told Jin that it wasn't a big deal. Jin trusted Namjoon. The teenager had been through so much, Jin knew that the only way he'd know what Namjoon was trying to say was by giving him time.

If the younger thought he didn't need to know, Jin wasn't going to push him.

That being said, it didn't make him any less wary of Namjoon's mysterious ways. Even though they were almost always together and talked about everything, Jin often felt like Namjoon was hiding some kind of secret from him. That there was something he didn't know.

-

"Hey, Jae-Jae. Don't be mad, but me and Uncle Tae ate all of your candy," Namjoon brought out the now empty pumpkin bucket from behind his back to show the child.

The boy, crouched at the coffee table, coloring his Paw Patrol coloring book, stopped mid-stroke when he heard his father.

Young-Jae was silent as he simply stared at the bucket that once held all his hard-earned candy, his hand not moving, his eyes not blinking, no expression on his face.

In an instant, his eyes began to well up with tears, his face contorting into one of sadness.

"Daddddy! Nooo!" he wailed, standing abruptly and grabbing the bucket sadly, as he looked in it for any remnants. "Why you do dat! Did you get a bad gwade on a test? Awle you sad?" he cried out, upset, but clearly concerned about why his daddy ate all the candy.

Taehyung stood behind the wall with his phone, trying not to crack up at the scene unfolding.

Namjoon tried to keep a straight face as he lifted the wailing little boy onto the couch.

"Um, n-no, baby. Me and Taehyung just wanted to eat it," he said, trying not to laugh.

That only made the boy cry harder.

"B-but why? Why Daddy? Why? I didn't eat any! Awle you okay?" he sounded incredibly distraught, but Namjoon couldn't help but start laughing.

It was just too precious.

"No, me and Taehyung were just hungry," he watched as the little boy clutched onto the pumpkin with both hands, his little legs dangling over the side of the couch, as he cried.

"But I didn't eat it! I work hard to get candy! I falled on my face and got a boo boooo!" he cried out.

Namjoon couldn't take it anymore, he got off the couch and crouched down to hug the little boy.

"I'm joking! I'm joking. Me and Taehyung didn't eat it, oh, I'm sorry. It's just a joke," he said as Taehyung appeared from behind the wall, falling to his knees in laughter.

The little boy's cries became softer, and pretty soon he was just sniffling. He looked at the empty bucket in his hands, and up to his father, eyes wet and glistening.

"You didn't eat it?" he said, with the cutest pout and watery puppy dog-like eyes.

"No, baby. It was a joke. Sorry," Namjoon said, petting his son's hair.

It was silent, as Young-Jae continued sniffling, staring at his father with a hurt expression. Namjoon was trying to soothe him, rubbing his hand up and down the tiny boy's arm.

Suddenly, in one swift motion, Young-Jae had shoved the pumpkin bucket on Namjoon's head.

And Taehyung lost it.

"Meanie!" Young-Jae screamed, crossing his arms and pouting.

Or so Namjoon thought.

All he could really see at the moment was orange.

"Oh my god, I cAn'T BreATHE!" Taehyung's voice cried out from somewhere, and a second pair of feet entered the room.

"What's going on in here?" Mrs. Kim looked at the scene in front of her.

Taehyung rolling around on the floor to her left, Young-Jae pouting and glaring with his arms crossed on the couch, and Namjoon with a pumpkin bucket on his head kneeling in front of the little boy.

"You know, what, I don't want to know. Just keep it down-"

Young-Jae started smacking the pumpkin lightly.

"-Seokjin and I are discussing a new fruit tart recipe," Mrs. Kim concluded.

"Wait, what?" Namjoon asked in surprise, trying to pry the bucket off while standing abruptly.

Keyword: try

Of course, being his clumsy self, he tripped over the coffee table and ended up slipping on the floor, his head smacking the rug, and the bucket splitting in two.

"OH MY JESUS!" Taehyung was practically screaming in laughter, unable to get up because of how hard he was laughing.

Namjoon groaned, pulling the bucket apart to free himself.

"Goodness gracious sweetheart, please be careful," was all Mrs. Kim said before going back up the stairs.

"I swear, your boyfriend spends more time with our mom than you," Taehyung gasped, trying to catch his breath. He wiped some tears from his face.

Namjoon rolled his eyes, turning back to his son, hands on his hips.

"Young-Jae, don't do that again, you could've hurt me really bad."

"You huwt me! I thought my candy is gone! I thought you wele sad!" the small boy screamed in defense.

Namjoon didn't know what to say.

"NAMJOON OHMY GOD AHAH!" Taehyung was once again crouching on the floor, pointing at his phone which had conveniently fallen against the wall. "IT'S STILL FILMING! I'M POSTING THIS, I'M SORRY I HAVE TO!" he exclaimed, before practically dying all over again.

-

It was Sunday, and all the boys had decided to meet up to get lunch. Sitting in an arrangement almost identical to their cafeteria table set up, they were each having side conversations with one another.

Namjoon and Jin were chatting about math homework due the next day, hands intertwined on top of the table. Jin's elbow was propped up on the surface (gasp the manners, i know), head in his hands so he could get a better look at Namjoon.

The older one was talking, watching Namjoon's facial expressions. It seemed he was only half listening, nodding when appropriate, and giving one-worded answers when asked a question.

In fact, Namjoon had been thinking about the Young-Jae situation once again. It seemed like that was all he thought about now, wondering if his timing would ever be right.

Jin sighed, deciding he needed to say something else to get Namjoon's attention.

"So, my birthday's coming up in a month," he smiled, watching Namjoon snap out of his trance. He squeezed their hands tightly.

"Oh, really? When is it?"

"December fourth."

"Wow, nineteen," Namjoon mumbled, tucking some hair behind Jin's ear. The black haired boy smiled at the simple, yet loving gesture. "What did you want to do? Are you going to have a party?"

Jin sighed, looking at the table of friends. They were laughing and giggling at Hoseok, who was trying to put a piece of bread in Yoongi's mouth.

The poor boy had fallen asleep while they were waiting for their food, his head tilted back, arms crossed, slumped slightly in his chair.

"I dunno, usually I just spend my birthday with my parents, and Jimin and Hoseok would come over for cake," he turned to Namjoon. "Honestly, I kinda just wanted to have a nice dinner with you or something," he pouted slightly, swinging their hands.

Although the two had gone on countless dates and acted like a couple, Namjoon hadn't officially asked Jin to be his boyfriend. Maybe with the incentive of a special night for his birthday, Namjoon would get the hint.

The younger boy laughed slightly, pulling Jin in by the waist to give him a quick kiss on the lips. He smiled brightly, dimple on display.

"Let me see what I can put together."

Jin squealed softly, wrapping his arms around Namjoon's neck.

"Ew! Stop being cute!" Hoseok pretended to gag, his sudden shouting waking Yoongi from his sleep.

Unfortunately, he was surprised and inhaled a little too forcefully. The bread sitting halfway in his mouth now went in his mouth.

He choked, bread shooting out and onto the table, eyes wide, as the rest of the guys burst into laughter.

-

As Namjoon stepped out of the car, Taehyung grabbed his collar, yanking him back in.

The two were dropping Jin off at his house after lunch.

"Taehyung, what the hell!" Namjoon said, struggling to get the younger to let go from the backseat.

"You gotta tell him!" the younger Kim whisper shouted. "Namjoon, you can't keep putting it off!"

Namjoon sighed, just wanting Taehyung to let go.

"Okay, okay! Let me go!"

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Y-yes!"

"You don't sound very sure..."

"I'll tell him, just let me go. He's getting suspicious!"

Taehyung huffed, letting go of the back of Namjoon's shirt. The older quickly scrambled out of the car.

Jin came around to the side, as Namjoon was fixing his stretched shirt. He chuckled a little.

"What was that all about?" he questioned, before helping Namjoon to smooth out some of the wrinkles.

Once it was straightened out (ha) he walked up to his door, Namjoon following behind.

Before Jin could turn to grab the door handle, his hand shot out, grabbing the older's wrist.

Jin looked back, a worried expression on his face as he could practically feel Namjoon's hands shaking.

"Namjoon, what's wrong?" he said, going to grab Namjoon's hands in his own.

The younger looked at the ground, and then at the hands.

Come on, you can say it.

"I-i..." he fumbled.

Even just trying to form the words made him dizzy. The thought of them leaving his mouth made him nauseous.

"Joonie," Jin sighed, cupping one side of his face with his hand. The younger leaned into his touch.

Just tell him!

Taehyung's voice practically screamed in his head.

Before he could think, the words fell out of his mouth.

"I wannacomeouttomyparentsduringChristmas."

It was silent for a moment as it seemed Jin was trying to process the jumble of words, and well...it took Namjoon by surprise as well.

To be fair, he'd actually been thinking about coming out for a while now. Besides the whole Young-Jae thing, Namjoon often thought about telling his family about his sexual orientation and maybe introducing Jin as his boyfriend.

He knew that it would be difficult, considering the conservative nature of where he lived and that his parents were an older generation, but he had a tiny sliver of hope that they would understand. They'd accepted Young-Jae so easily, he knew that if it had been any other parents, there was a good chance Young-Jae wouldn't be with him today.

The fact that he'd blurted that out instead of telling Jin the truth scared him.

Had he really been so worried about telling Jin his secret that he'd rather come out to his parents, not knowing the outcome?

Jin's face lit up, a huge smile on his face.

"Really?" he exclaimed, as he bounced up and down.

Instead of correcting his mistake, he chose to bite his tongue. The look that Jin gave him held so much excitement and joy, he didn't want to ruin anything.

He slowly nodded his head, unsure of what else he was supposed to do. Jin tackled him in a hug.

"That's really great! I'm so proud of you!" he shouted, his smile practically blinding the younger.

He laughed a little, before squeezing him in another hug and kissing him on the lips.

The pang in Namjoon's chest grew.

Guilt.

The voice in the back of his head was back, sobering Namjoon's thoughts.

You still have a chance. Tell him!

He squeezed the older's hands, keeping him in place.

"Um, wait. Jin...I-"

"What's all the screaming at the front door for?" a new, deep voice questioned.

The two teenagers turned to see a young man, probably a college student, glaring through a small sliver in the door. He looked like an older, angrier version of Jin with glasses.

Namjoon heard the teenager beside him gasp.

"Seok-Jung? Hyungie? You're back!" Jin shouted, as his brother swung the door wide open.

He untangled himself from Namjoon's arms, running into his brother's.

The face on this 'Seok-Jung' character went from distasteful to elated as his younger brother pulled him into a bone-crushing hug. They started laughing with each other, forgetting that Namjoon was now just standing there awkwardly with his hands in his pockets.

The teenager cleared his throat, bringing the attention back to him.

"Oh!" Seokjin whipped around, pulling Namjoon closer by the arm. "Hyungie, this is my...my boyfriend, Kim Namjoon." he smiled, settling his head on the younger boy's shoulder.

It was the first time either had actually used the term boyfriend, or even acknowledged the fact that they were a couple.

Namjoon's eyes went wide, as he looked at the handsome boy next to him.

His boyfriend.

"Uh-um. Yes, hi. I'm Jin's...b-boyfriend. Nice to meet you, Seok-Jung?" he asked in question, only briefly catching the older brother's name.

A small smile graced Seok-Jung's lips as he pulled Namjoon into a hug.

"Oh, no need to be so formal," Seok-Jung said, hugging Namjoon tight.

The teenager began chuckling awkwardly, not knowing how to act.

Finally letting the poor boy go, and slapping him on the back a few times, Seok-Jung turned serious. "Now, I must warn you, if you hurt my precious Seokjinnie, I'll have to break your arms and legs and-"

"Hyung!"

"Just kidding!" Seok-Jung laughed, slapping Namjoon once again before his demeanor became serious again. "But I'm serious. If you hurt my brother..."

With that ominous warning, he slung an arm over Seokjin's shoulder, the younger brother rolling his eyes.

"I'm sorry Joonie, my brother does this to everyone. Why don't-"

All of a sudden, the car horn blared, making them all jump. Namjoon turned around to see his brother lifting his shoulders in a 'what the heck is taking you so long?' manner.

"Uh...sorry about that," he bowed, laughing almost nervously. "I should probably get going. The younger Kim is getting antsy."

He turned to shake Seok-Jung's hand and planted a quick kiss on Jin's temple before heading down the steps of the house.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Jin!" he called out before getting in the car.

Namjoon and Taehyung watched as the two Kim brothers waved before going inside. The two buckled in before Namjoon set his hands on the steering wheel.

"So? How did it go?" Taehyung turned to his brother. "By the looks of it, he seemed happy."

Namjoon sat there, still not quite processing what just happened.

"I didn't tell him," he mumbled, barely enough for Taehyung to hear.

"What?"

"I didn't tell him."

Taehyung's face sunk, his shoulders dropping.

"Namjoon!"

"I know! I know, okay? I was going to tell him, I really was, but then I... said something stupid. I-it just came out of my mouth. I don't know why I said it, I-"

"What did you say?"

Namjoon stayed silent.

"Hyung, what did you say?"

"I told him I wanted to come out to Mom and Dad at Christmas," Namjoon groaned, putting his head on the steering wheel.

It was now Taehyung's turn to be silent.

"Look, I don't know why I said that, okay? I was literally thinking of the words 'Hey, I just wanted to let you know, but Young-Jae is actually my son' and that came out instead. But, the way his face lit up...I couldn't tell him after that. And then his brother showed up? How could I spring that kind of information on him when he looked so happy and excited to see his brother. I mean, he called me his boyfriend. I- we...that hasn't happened before. He said that I'm-"

The teenager turned to Taehyung who was now staring straight, arms crossed.

"Taehyung, I'm sorry. I know you're getting frustrated with me. But I'm serious. I just feel like maybe this is a sign that I shouldn't tell him right now. Maybe it just needs to come out naturally? Like slowly easing him into it? I-"

"Just go."

"Taehyung-"

"Just drive!" he huffed, not in the mood to talk to his idiotic older brother.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, they finally made it home. Taehyung was the first to exit, pushing open the car door and slamming it shut before walking briskly to the front door.

"Taehyung. Taehyung! Wait!" Namjoon called out, fumbling with his keys and the seat belt. "Taehyung!"

The younger huffed at the doorstep.

He forgot that Namjoon had the key.

Arms crossed, he waited for his brother to exit. It was taking Namjoon a while, because he had somehow screwed up his seat belt and couldn't get it to unclip.

"Taehyung, look. I'm sorry, okay? Please don't be mad, I-"

"I"m not mad! I'm just....I'm disappointed. And I'm worried, and frustrated, and I'm scared." he concluded, arms thrown in the air. "I'm scared that you're going to be heartbroken if Jin finds out and breaks up with you. That you'll just spiral out...you know that's what's going to happen if you don't say anything, right?"

Namjoon looked down at his feet, hands clenched tightly around his keys.

Taehyung's eyes softened.

He stepped closer, placing an arm on his brother's shoulder.

"Hyung, I'm glad that you want to tell Mom and Dad. I'm proud. But, you need to get your priorities straight. No pun intended."

Namjoon let out a small laugh.

"I know, I'm sorry-"

"Don't apologize to me. Just tell Jin what's happening before anyone gets hurt. Okay?"

Namjoon sighed, nodding. Taehyung smiled wide, bringing his brother in for a tight hug, before Namjoon fit the key in the door.

"Now, about this whole coming out thing-"

"Hey guys! We're-!" Namjoon abruptly stopped.

Looking around, his eyes landed on his father and son in the living room.

It wasn't this sight of them sitting on the couch, his father lecturing Young-Jae that caught his attention, it was the news playing on the television.

-courtroom. Supporters from all over the county had been camped out for days, awaiting results on the legalization of same-sex marriage, when a group of anti-gay persons took to the crowds to provoke fights. Police interfered only after multiple injuries were sustained, arresting both protesters and supporters alike.

"-bad. Bad people. Yucky. We don't like people like that. You got it?"

"Got it!"

"-home," Namjoon finished, turning to his brother, who also seemed to have a shocked expression on his face.

His father's head snapped up, as he quickly reached over to turn off the television.

"Namjoon! Taehyung! What are you doing just standing there? Come in and close the door, it's cold out!"

Both snapped out of their trances, as they quickly obeyed their father.

"Daddy!" Young-Jae slid off the couch, running into Namjoon's awaiting arms.

"Hi, baby! How was your day? Did you play with Mimi and Jiji all day?"

The little boy furiously nodded his head, clutching onto Namjoon's neck.

"We haf wots of fun! Did you haf a dates with Jinnie hyung?"

Namjoon and Taehyung's eyes went wide.

"H-hey! Dad! Hey! Can you help me with this...this thing?" Taehyung immediately went into 'saving Namjoon's ass' mode.

"AHAHA! Oh Taehyung! Stop telling Young-Jae silly stuff HAHA! Dating Jin! Funny!"

Namjoon made a bee-line for the stai