[september]

[flashback]

"Great job today, Namjoon! New play looks good, maybe we'll try it next game," Coach Cheung patted the sweaty teenager on the back, as the rest of them hit the locker rooms.

After another grueling practice, Namjoon was ready to go home, finish his homework, and sleep.

Being the youngest on the high school varsity had its perks, but this was not one of them.

On top of his regular JV training, Coach Cheung made him stay for varsity practice, saying he pushed the teen twice as hard because he knew he had twice the potential.

Yuck.

Namjoon was just a regular fourteen year old boy who wanted to do regular fourteen year old boy stuff.

It wasn't like he was training for the NBA or Korean Nationals...

"Bye guys!" he shouted out, as he left the locker room in an extremely good mood.

His mother just texted, telling him to hurry home because she'd made his favorite, and he'd done well on a test he studied all week for.

Nothing could disrupt his mood.

"Namjoonie!"

Well...

The teenager turned to find his enthusiastic brother, surrounded by a group of friends, and waving at him. He was probably showing off the new Gucci slides he'd bought with his first big paycheck.

Taehyung had started a Youtube channel a few months ago, the view and subscriber count growing rapidly every day.

"Taehyungie, how was school?" Namjoon grinned like a fool, as he greeted the other kids around him.

"Someone must be in a good mood! You never call me that in public," the younger exclaimed as he said goodbye to the students, the brothers taking off towards the bus stop.

Pretty soon, it pulled up, and they jumped on.

"So what if I am? Got a perfect score on my test, the boys didn't joke about my two left feet during practice, and mom made my favorite for dinner..." the eldest beamed, the younger pouting.

"She must love you more, she never makes my favorite," Namjoon pinched the boy's cheeks.

"Liar, she made your favorite last week! Besides, it's hard to eat yours because you're the only one that can stomach it-"

"Hey!"

"Taehyung, dill probably goes great with a lot of things- I wouldn't really know since we just eat Korean food- but I don't think it works well with just soy sauce in a marinade."

"It enhances the flavour."

"Whatever you say."

The two made jokes all the way to their stop, Namjoon sending a quick text to his mother notifying her that they'd be home shortly.

The boy stared out the window for a short while, noticing how perfect the day seemed.

Clear, sunny blue skies, the warm breeze, it even seemed the birds were singing a beautiful melody in the distance.

How perfect.

"Huh? Were we expecting guests today?" Taehyung's voice brought the teen out of his thoughts.

Sure enough, an unknown car was parked in the driveway.

How curious.

The two continued their way to the house, trying to guess who it was.

Then they saw their mother in the doorway. Arms crossed, eyebrows drawn together in a disappointing glare.

It scared the two, Namjoon's heart dropping in his chest.

Something clearly wasn't right.

She didn't say a word as they approached the front door, only turning on her heel and marching into the house.

"What did you do?" the brothers asked each other in unison.

"Me? How could it be me?"

"Well, why do you think it's me?"

"Why would she make my favorite for dinner if it was me?"

"Maybe that's why she made your favor-"

"Boys, inside. Now," their mother demanded, before turning to go inside.

"Maybe we're both in trouble..."

And that day, everything changed.

The perfect day.

-

Walking inside the living room was like walking into a dead zone.

The air felt eerily empty. So quiet and suffocating, you could practically hear a pin drop.

The poisonous looks he was getting from his parents could probably kill as well.

Two figure's heads could be seen sitting on the couch, their father sitting in an armchair facing them.

He, too, held a similar expression to his wife.

"Taehyung, please go to your room until you're called for. We have something to discuss with your brother," their father ordered, not even bothering to greet them.

Of course, Taehyung could tell something serious was going on- anyone could- so he only nodded, bowed, and briskly walked upstairs, sending his older brother a concerned look.

That left Namjoon standing in the hallway by himself, hands starting to shake as he tried to figure out what the meaning of all of this was.

What had he done to get himself in so much trouble?

"Namjoon, please come sit with us," his father spoke again, leaving Namjoon in a mad dash to take off his shoes and do what he was told.

Making his way to the living room, he gulped at the sight of his vice principal sitting on the couch, a raging fire in her eyes.

Had they misidentified him as a troublemaker from school?

"Namjoon, please greet Mrs. Kang and Seulgi."

His eyes widened at the second name.

Sure enough, cowering behind the livid vice principal was none other than Kang Seulgi.

And then he knew.

All of a sudden, the blood rushed to his head, making him feel lightheaded and dizzy.

His hands and legs began to tremble, and his heart dropped into the pit of his stomach.

He knew why they were here.

He knew.

"G-good afternoon, Mrs. Kang...Seulgi," he greeted with a deep bow.

Standing up straight, he had to compose himself, keep from screaming, keep from toppling over in shock.

Because he'd seen it.

He wasn't focused on the raging furry in Mrs. Kang's eyes, or the disappointed and angry looks from his parents. He wasn't focused on how small he felt standing in front of them all, or the obvious tear-stained cheeks of Seulgi who practically hid behind her mother.

He was focused on one thing, and one thing only.

The almost unnoticeable bump protruding from the stomach of the scared, young, teenage girl in front of him.

The same girl, who months before, he'd woken up next to after a party.

Who told him he had nothing to worry about.

Who made him believe it and forget about his drunken, stupid mistake.

A party that had apparently changed his life forever.

-

After what seemed like an eternity, the yelling stopped. All Namjoon could do was stare at his fidgeting hands.

The room went silent, except for the sniffling coming from Seulgi every once in a while.

How could it have gotten this far?

Why him?

"I can't, I'm not...I just-I don't understand how you could be so irresponsible. Namjoon, sweetheart, talk to us," his mother sighed, a pleading look in her eyes.

The vice principal continued to pace the room, huffing angrily. Namjoon thought she might wear a whole in the rug.

"Irresponsible...Irresponsible?? No. No. No, what he's done is more than irresponsible-" the woman spat, "What he's done is robbed my daughter of a future! That's what he's done!"

"I-i'm sorry..." was all the boy could get out.

He honestly felt like crying.

What was he supposed to say or do in a situation like this?

Vice Principal Kang scoffed, pointing an accusing finger at Namjoon.

"You're apologies mean nothing to me, boy. You've hurt my daughter and you've killed her chances of getting a respectable job. She'll have to drop out of school, her scholarships will be revoked, our family name has been tarnished. You've destroyed any prospects of her having a successful career-"

"Eomma-" Seulgi whispered pleadingly, attempting to intervene.

"And you!" the woman was now pointing at her daughter, the poor girl shrinking into the couch. "This is what you get for dressing like a whore, I told you not to wear that outfit! You were practically asking for it-"

Namjoon's father stood abruptly, "Okay, let's calm down a little. I know we're all upset and disappointed right now, but I don't appreciate you talking to my son that way, alright? I don't think beating our children up is going to change anything."

Mrs. Kim chimed in soon after, "Vice Principal Kang, what's done is done. I'd like us to be civil about this and think about what kinds of steps we should take next."

Kang scoffed, marching up to the frightened boy, staring deep into his soul.

"Steps? What steps? The two of them are clearly too young to be raising a child. I won't allow it!"

"Well, maybe we should ask them what they want? It's their-"

"And what right do they have to decide that? They clearly can't be responsible as it is. You're son-"

Mr. Kim sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, "Last time I checked, it takes two people to make a baby."

"This is ridiculous!" The vice principal shouted, completely ignoring the man. "They are teenagers themselves! They need to be taught-"

"Eomma, please stop-"

"Be quiet!" Kang exclaimed, "If you misbehave again, we're leaving."

Seulgi looked conflicted and absolutely terrified.

Mrs. Kim sighed, trying to continue the conversation.

"Well, there are other options. We can think about abortion. I'm not completely comfortable with the idea, but it is your body, sweetheart, and your choice. We'd be open to paying half of the ticket and operation for you to go out of the country-"

"Absolutely not! I'll not dabble with the law, nor allow that kind of dishonor to be brought upon our family! We can handle one scandal, but that is one too many!"

"Well, then adoption? There's plenty of people looking to-"

"I don't want it," Seulgi interrupted, looking down at her hands.

Tears began welling up in her eyes, her lip beginning to tremble. She quickly glanced at her mother's threatening glare, before looking back down.

"I-i don't want to keep doing this," she whispered out. "I just want it to end. I want it to end now-"

"Say another word, and you're not allowed to come home," The vice principal said, before turning back to Namjoon's parents, ignoring Seulgi's gaping, as she tried to think of a response that wouldn't upset her mother further.

Now, did Namjoon think she was a real bitch who whined and complained worse than a toddler?

Yeah.

But she was faced with a tough decision.

Either have a child, disappoint the only parent she had, bring shame to her family, or refuse to have a child, most likely get kicked out, and lose the only support system she had.

Namjoon was lucky his parents were open minded enough to be civil and want to help. Seulgi didn't have that, she never did.

Namjoon knew how strict her mother was, how much the woman boasted about her child. He knew how hard Seulgi worked for her reputation and the validation of her mother. The woman could be cruel, but Seulgi still looked for her acceptance.

He slowly scooted closer, ignoring the watchful eyes of his parents, and the deadly glare of Vice Principal. Kang, ready the moment he made a wrong move.

Placing a hand on her shoulder, he looked into her eyes, and gave her a small smile.

They shared a moment, one of pure emotion, and even comfort to the girl, because in that instant, she fully broke down, Namjoon pulling her into a tight hug.

Deep heavy sobs, tears pouring down her face, it affected Namjoon so deeply, a sudden thought clicked in his mind.

He pulled her back by the shoulders, a look of determination in his eyes. "If you have the baby, I'll raise it by myself."

To say his parents were shocked was an understatement.

Their young, smart, energetic, and carefree baby boy wanted to parent a child on his own.

He was still one himself.

The couple looked at each other, before turning to their son, watching as he comforted the young girl.

His mother's eyes softened. "Namjoon-"

"I can do it...I...I want to do it," he said, with every intention to stick to his word.

The perseverance on his face must've convinced his parents because they both nodded their heads in agreement and told the vice principal they supported his decision fully.

She only responded that the two teenagers were not to have contact until the baby was born, before pulling her daughter out the door.

Seulgi had glanced back, giving Namjoon a look of almost relief and gratitude before she never spoke directly to him again.

And so, from that day forward, Kim Namjoon had to grow up.

The goofy fourteen year old boy with a passion for music and basketball matured.

Now, he was Kim Namjoon, father to his child.

[end of flashback]

-

Jin wasn't quite sure how to feel.

One second, he'd asked about Namjoon's preferences, the next minute the teenager kissed him.

Then pushed him away and ran out the door.

"Earth to Jin hyung!" the black haired boy snapped out of his thoughts, a hand waving in front of his face.

"What just happened? I saw Namjoon push you, then run out..." Taehyung sat down beside the dazed teenager.

Jin couldn't get the feeling of Namjoon's lips out of his mind.

The way their lips firmly pressed together, moulded perfectly, how Jin never experienced such fervor in something as simple as a kiss.

Every time he thought about it, a sort of giddiness spread throughout his body. It took all of his might to contain his excitement.

"H-he..." Speechless, he grazed his fingertips over his lips.

A warm blush spread over his face, causing him to fan himself in an attempt to not let the lightheaded feeling overtake him.

"He what?" Taehyung asked in a concerned tone.

Turning to the youngest brother, a clear expression of shock and daze on his face, Jin gulped, still not quite sure if he'd dreamt it all.

"He kissed me," his voice came out, barely a whisper.

"HE WHAT."

-

"Stupidstupidstupidstupidstupi..." Namjoon sat on the cold hard pavement, knees brought up to his chest, head hidden between them.

He was lightly tugging at his hair, unable to get the image of Jin's face out of his head.

Why did he do that? Why did he kiss Jin?

Why was he being so stupid and reckless all of a sudden?

Why-

The sound of someone shuffling along, prompted him to look up.

When it turned out not to be the man consuming his thoughts, his heart sank slightly.

And then he inwardly hit himself for thinking like that.

"Lovely weather we're having tonight..." Yoongi spoke gruffly, plopping down on the sidewalk next to him.

It was silent for a few moments, Namjoon staring at the boy beside him, the other looking up at the sky.

"Yoongi?"

"Yeah."

"Do you think I'm stupid?"

"No."

"Then why'd I kiss Jin?"

"Because you like him."

"No, I don't."

"That was the most blatant lie I've ever heard."

"But, I don-"

"Shut up."

"..."

Yoongi shifted beside Namjoon.

"Your feelings are clear, anyone can see, so why don't you do anything about them? Is it because of Young-Jae? If so, I know I've already told you that Jin wouldn't care."

Namjoon looked down at his hands.

As much as he wanted to believe his fear stemmed from people finding out his secret, he knew that wasn't the case.

"No, I...I don't think that's what it is. I'm just...I don't..."

Should he tell him what happened?

Would his opinion of Namjoon change?

Did Namjoon even know what it was that was keeping him from freely expressing his feelings?

Taking a deep breath, the brown haired boy sighed, looking at the darkening sky above.

"You know, I was fourteen when I found out about Young-Jae."

Yoongi turned to face the teen, offering all his attention.

"I was clearly too young, but I was determined to give him the best life I could. Only problem was I was fucked up and struggling internally...There was this...g-guy."

Namjoon pulled his legs close to his chest, chin resting on his knees. "His name was Ryu, one of my teammates, and he was the reason I slept with Seulgi in the first place."

Yoongi nodded, taking another sip of his drink. He assumed Seulgi was Young-Jae's biological mother.

"We'd gotten close at a party, and I did something stupid. I kissed him. He was friends with this really homophobic guy, and i panicked so, the next week, I made out with this girl, thinking I could cover up what I'd done. Only issue was we were so drunk, things escalated a lot further than I expected. No one knew, but it still felt weird, so the following week I pulled Ryu aside and confessed. We started seeing each other after that, and by seeing, I mean making out in an empty classroom during lunch and not speaking to each other elsewhere."

Yoongi didn't say anything, but it was interesting to see how Namjoon was now, and compare it to who he was then.

"It went on like that for weeks, so I thought maybe he was starting to see us as something more, starting to develop feelings like I had. But I was fourteen and naive." Namjoon sighed, "Then Seulgi came back in the picture and my life was spiraling out of control. I was afraid to tell anyone, but I thought I could tell him." Namjoon groaned, recalling his stupidity.

"Before that, we'd never done anything besides make out...when he asked for more, I thought it was his way of saying he supported me, that we were a thing." Namjoon was so ashamed, talking about it so freely, he hid his head in his arms.

"I tried to kiss him at a party, but he got angry, and stormed off. A few hours later, he was wasted and pulled me into a room. When I realized what he was trying to do, I fought him off, but..." The boy couldn't even look at Yoongi, instead hoping the boy could infer what he was trying to say.

"He assaulted you," the blonde responded slowly, a dark look in his eyes.

Namjoon hadn't realized it, but he was shaking.

Recounting what had happened, seeing the eighteen year old's face in his memories.

He realized now why he was afraid.

"Not long after, rumors started circulating that Seulgi was pregnant. And then, people started gossiping that I had..d-done the thing that Ryu did to me...to her. He didn't want to be caught in the rumors as well, so he told his friends that I'd tried to get him too, and they beat me up," a humorless laugh left Namjoon's lips, a single tear running down his face.

He was quick to wipe it away.

"It was more than just a few punches. They practically left me for dead. I was in the hospital for two weeks. One in a medically induced coma, the next recovering."

Yoongi was shocked. And pissed, and feeling for the younger.

A big guy like Namjoon, reserved and mature.

He couldn't believe how vulnerable, broken, and fragile he really was.

"He said things- hurtful things to me, and every time I close my eyes, I see his fists swinging at me, his boots kicking my ribs until they crack. I hear him screaming at me, while I struggle to breath, choking on my own blood. I can still hear him telling me how worthless I am, how no one will ever want me, how what I am is disgusting, how I'm a waste of space..."

Namjoon inhaled deeply, hoping to catch himself before he broke.

"Yoongi, I...I know that Jin isn't like that, I know how sweet and caring he is, but I-i can't. I just...can't. I'm